by Cali MacKay
“What about all the blood?” Hannah couldn’t believe it. She refused to think this was all Will’s doing. It was completely unlike him. “He wouldn’t do this to me. He wouldn’t leave me worrying, especially not after what happened to my brother.”
Lambert sat forward, his brows drawn together. “And what exactly did happen to your brother?”
She felt the blood drain from her face as she swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. Jake gave her hand a squeeze and she was eternally grateful that he was there by her side. “He was murdered.”
Lambert’s gaze flicked to her hand, still linked with Jake’s, and she knew what he must be thinking, given that she was technically still married. “And the perpetrators? Could your brother’s murder and your husband’s attack be related?”
“The cops never found out who did it. As for the attacks being related, I doubt it. My brother’s murder was four years ago, and Ryan had been a journalist, whereas Will’s a programmer. Other than me, they had no one else in common.” It was too far a leap, especially when so much time had passed.
“We’ll continue looking for your husband, and we’ll be in touch if we find anything.” His gaze then shifted to Jake, taking him in with a suspicious glint as his eyes wandered from Jake to her and then back again. “I’m sorry—Jake Foley, was it? And your relationship to Mr. and Mrs. Tennant?”
“I’m a family friend—to them both.” Jake shifted closer to her, as if wanting to protect her from Lambert and his scrutiny. “And I’ll second what Hannah said about Will. He wouldn’t just disappear like that, and he sure as hell wouldn’t leave Hannah to worry.”
“As I said, we’ll keep looking, and if anything new turns up we’ll let you know.” Lambert shifted some papers around on his desk, essentially dismissing them.
“His home—when will you be done with your investigation?” She knew Jake was right, and as much as she hated the thought of having to face that blood, she couldn’t chance missing a clue that might help find Will.
“We’ll be wrapping up with his home this afternoon. In the meantime, if you hear from your husband, I’d appreciate it if you could give us a call or have him contact us.”
With a hand on the small of her back, Jake walked her towards the doors as she tried to rein in her emotions. By the time they stepped out into the cold March air, her eyes were stinging and she felt as if she might be ill, any hope of finding Will alive stolen away on a bitter winter wind.
“I can’t believe they’re not going to do anything to try to find him. How can they not take it seriously when there was all that blood, and it was clear there’d been a struggle?” It was like a knife to her heart, her tears barely contained as she fought to keep them back. Despite all their problems, Will had been her husband for five years, and her best friend for another three while they dated—and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d just lost him. The tears slipped down her cheeks, her heart aching, for she knew the reality of the matter if Will was severely injured. “They’re never going to find him in time.”
Jake pulled her into his arms—and she let him, damn it. She didn’t have the energy or the will to push him away, and at that moment, he was the only thing keeping her sane. As she took one deep breath after another, his familiar scent calmed her, even though she knew there was no way she should be taking comfort in his arms, especially when she now knew his feelings for her extended beyond that of simple friendship.
Standing there as he held her to him, she found it impossible to pull out of his embrace. Not when the comfort and safety of his arms felt like the only way to push back some of her grief. And yet…there was so much more between them, even if she refused to acknowledge it.
“Hannah…we can’t give up hope.” Jake brushed the hair from her eyes, lines creasing his brow in worry. “He’ll either turn up or we’ll find him. But it’s not too late. You can’t let yourself go down that road.”
“I just don’t know what to think anymore. That cop all but implied that Will did this all on purpose.” Which was insane. He would never put her through that. “We need to find him, Jake. Especially if the cops aren’t going to bother to.”
Jake cupped the back of her neck, his thumb brushing her cheek as his other arm slipped down her back, his touch like a magic she couldn’t ignore. “Do you know of any place he might go to if he were in danger? Anyone he would turn to?”
“I thought he’d turn to me if he were in trouble—or you. But he hasn’t. And now? I don’t know. The only thing that might make sense is that he didn’t want to put us in danger. Maybe that’s why he didn’t contact either of us.” She supposed that was better than thinking he didn’t care enough, though he could have at least called so she wouldn’t worry. Or was he too injured too call? Was someone keeping him from getting in touch with her? And if he was in danger, would he contact her or would he also worry that his phone was being traced? She didn’t know what to think anymore. “His grandmother…she had a small cabin up in the mountains. He never sold it after she passed away since he didn’t need the money, and he liked having it as a place to escape to. We’ve gone up there every summer, so it would definitely be on his radar as a place to get away to.”
“Well, that’s something, right?” With an encouraging smile, Jake let her slip free of his embrace and opened the car door for her, before hopping into the driver’s seat. “Is it far from here?”
“About two hours north, though I suppose we should take a look at his place first, if the cops are nearly done going through it. The keys to the cabin will be gone if he headed up that way.” She let out a weary sigh filled with frustration, as she seat-belted herself in. “I swear, if Will is still alive—if he’s okay—and he hasn’t bothered to call me, I’m going to murder him myself.”
“I’d hope he’d have enough sense to contact you, but…you know what he’s like. Though he’s never been one to get himself into any trouble, he hasn’t always approached things in a logical manner.” With a shake of his head, Jake pulled out of the parking lot and headed to her home just a town away as she tried to work her way through all the possibilities.
“Do you think his disappearance might be related to his work or to my brother’s murder?” Doing her best to set aside her emotions, she tried to recall if Will had mentioned anything about the jobs he was working. Though nothing came to mind, she supposed it was possible his disappearance was related to his job. He was always working computer security for various companies, so it was possible he’d stumbled on something he shouldn’t have seen.
As for her brother’s murder, she just didn’t see how there could be any sort of connection, given that Ryan had been a journalist and his murder had occurred four years ago. Somehow, it seemed a bit far-fetched to her, unless there was information she was unaware of.
“I don’t know how any of this is related, but right now, I’m more worried about you and keeping you safe. You’re my priority, Hannah.” Once at her home, Jake shrugged out of his jacket and followed her into the living room. Leaning against the arm of the sofa, he stretched his long legs out in front of him as he took her in, his look wavering between contemplation and frustration. “We’ll have more to go on once we can take a look at his home and then check on the cabin.”
Although she certainly didn’t want to do this on her own, she knew Jake was a busy man. But she was also wondering if it might be best to put some distance between them. Since he’d showed up last night, she was finding it harder and harder not to turn to him for comfort, and most dangerously, affection. And though it felt right, she wasn’t sure it was that good an idea. “Jake…I really appreciate you dropping everything to come out here and help me out, but I know you’ve got work to deal with. I don’t want to cause you any problems.”
He shook his head no, and waved away her worries, before casually shifting against the sofa, making it impossible for her to ignore just how tall and ruggedly handsome he was, with his thick, dark hair and sexy stubble, and
most of all, those gorgeous eyes of his, nearly gold like a wolf’s. “You’re more important than work, as is finding Will. Besides, I have the next several days off, and we’re currently running with a full staff, since I was transitioning away from the restaurant I’ve been working in, so I can do my own thing. I just need to make a few phone calls, but I don’t want you worrying about me.”
“I didn’t realize you were in between jobs.” Some friend she was.
She felt bad that she’d let their crazy schedules get in the way of their friendship. Although with her impending divorce and her feelings for Jake, she had figured it’d be for the best if she kept some distance between them, knowing he’d be too hard to resist. She had never been one to cheat, so being around Jake when she’d been with Will had been fine, since her love for Will pushed aside any feelings she’d had for Jake. But once she and Will had separated, she knew Jake would be too great a temptation.
“Yeah…a few years ago I got a sizeable inheritance from my great-uncle. I invested it wisely and continue to get a rather nice return on it, so I’ve decided to do my own thing, though I’ve yet to figure out exactly what that is.” He gave her a bit of a shrug, and tossed her a smile that made her want to forget all her worries and her heartache, made her want to not overthink the feelings she still had for him. “At this point, I really don’t need to work if I don’t want to, but I love cooking—and I was working with a really good friend of mine, so it was fun. But now…she just got married, and I guess I want to venture on my own.”
“Well, I hope it all works out for you, Jake. You deserve to be happy.” And she truly meant it. Despite their past, despite her heartache, Jake had always been there for her, just like he was now, setting aside his life to help her through this nightmare.
He shook his head with a sigh of frustration and then twined his fingers with hers. “Then give me another chance, Hannah. Because you’re the only one who can make me happy. I know that now. And I refuse to let you walk away from what’s between us. I can’t let you go, love. Not when I know we belong together.”
She wanted to argue with him, to tell him he was wrong, but how could she really deny it? “Jake…you know I care about you, but my divorce hasn’t even been finalized. And frankly, I still have a lot of issues to work through from my marriage.”
He frowned at her, his bright brown eyes darkening to night. “Hannah…what the hell happened with the two of you? I know it’s none of my business, but…”
She shrugged, not sure she could rehash the details of how and why her marriage fell apart, and yet at the same time, she felt like she needed to get it all off her chest. She really hadn’t spoken to anyone about the details of her separation, but Jake…he’d always been the one she confided in, even after he broke her heart.
“We ended up wanting different things, I guess. I was hoping we’d eventually start a family, but Will…he decided that kids would just be too big of a hassle—which was not what we’d discussed when it’d come up in conversation before we got married. And then after what happened to Ryan…I don’t know…I had to work through that, but by the time I did, I think he’d moved on, to an extent.” The tears stung her eyes again, but this time, for an entirely different reason. “He was distant—emotionally, physically—and…I think he just stopped finding me attractive, I guess.”
With his jaw clenched, Jake’s hands tightened into fists, so he looked ready to punch something. “What the fuck do you mean, Hannah?”
She groaned. This was the last thing she wanted to discuss in detail, especially when it still hurt like hell. But she knew Jake, and it was unlikely he’d let it go, though she’d be damned if she could hold his gaze, his brown eyes too intense.
“What I mean is that…I wasn’t enough for him, and…shit…” Tears sprung to her eyes.
“Don’t fucking tell me he cheated on you.” Jake looked ready to find Will, just so he could tear him limb from limb.
“No. He didn’t. But he also did everything he could to avoid me physically. He hadn’t touched me in the last year that we were together, and even before that, things were...well, they weren’t great. And it wasn’t as if I didn’t try to keep him interested. I’d…I’d have done anything he wanted to try if it’d bring him back to me. Anything. I was desperate, Jake. But…he was always too tired, too busy, too...uninterested. I was willing to lose myself to make it work, and he couldn’t even be bothered.” She swiped at her tears, her memories and the hurt flooding her head and her heart, her feelings of inadequacy slamming into her and making her feel unattractive and unwanted once more. “The funny thing is you hear of all these women who are annoyed at their husbands for always wanting sex and they have to constantly make excuses to fend them off. And me? Well, I could have showed up naked wearing nothing but a red bow, and he still wouldn’t have touched me.”
With a shake of his head, he cupped her face in his hand. “Then he was nothing but a fucking idiot, Hannah. What the hell was he thinking?”
“I can’t put all the blame on him, though…especially since I feel like I was the one who sidelined our marriage when Ryan passed. And I swear…I tried to make things right between us. But no matter what I tried, he wasn’t interested. He just didn’t want me, Jake. And by the end, there was no point to being married. He was long gone, even if he was a touch away. We were like two strangers living under the same roof.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat and blinked back her tears, years of hurt and heartache raging once more.
“Fuck, Hannah…I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But trust me when I tell you that whatever Will’s problem, it was all on him. Because you’re amazing…smart, sweet, caring. And you’re fucking gorgeous. You’ve always been. And the fact that he made you feel anything less than that makes me want to hurt him.” He brushed her tears away, his gaze slipping over her face. “I know he was my friend, but he didn’t deserve you.”
She scoffed with a shake of her head, her tears now refusing to slow. “How can you say that, when you walked away from me too?”
“I did—but only because I loved you too much. You deserved so much more than I could give you, and things were so intense between us.” His brow furrowed as he brushed the tears from her cheeks. “I was stupid and a fucking asshole for breaking your heart. But it was never because you weren’t good enough. It was because I didn’t deserve you.”
Hannah didn’t know what to think or how to feel. How could Jake—smoking hot bad boy chef, who could probably have nearly any woman he wanted—think that he wasn’t good enough for her? He was standing there telling her that she was gorgeous, when she hadn’t even been able to get her husband to touch her.
And then, before she could dwell on it any further, his fingers were tangling in her hair and he was hauling her body against his as he claimed her mouth in a kiss that set her very soul on fire, like a torch thrown into dry brush, the passion between them engulfing her in an inferno. She leaned into him as his tongue bullied its way past her lips, claiming her in a way no other man had ever done, his hard length too difficult to ignore as his arm slipped down her back to hold her tightly to him.
Her head was spinning, and she wanted him down to the marrow of her bones. But Will…
Feeling guilty about kissing Jake when Will was still missing, she somehow found the strength to pull away from their kiss. Yet with his muscular body still pressed against hers, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to resist him for long, despite her guilt over Will. “Jake…”
“If you’re expecting me to apologize for kissing you, I can tell you right now, it’s not going to happen, since I don’t regret it one bit. And just so you get it through that gorgeous head of yours, it wasn’t the first kiss, and it sure as hell won’t be the last.” His hands slipped down her back to grasp her hips while he nuzzled her, making her wish he’d kiss her again, despite her heartache, despite their history, despite Will. “Fucking hell, Hannah… Please, don’t push me away. Not when you’re my every th
ought.”
She wanted to groan. Though things were over with Will, and had been long before they’d separated, she was still married to him, and Jake was Will’s best friend—not to mention, Will might be lying in a pool of his own blood, even as they kissed. She shrugged out of his arms, even as the absence of his touch left her longing for him. “I’m sorry, Jake. But I can’t do this. I need to find Will.”
Jake nodded—but the determined look in his eyes had her breath catching. “We’ll find him, and then we’re going to finally sort out this thing between us. Because I’m not letting you go, Hannah, and I will make you realize that we’re meant to be together.”
Chapter Four
Jake was damned if he was going to feel bad about kissing Hannah. Truth was, he didn’t regret it one bit. Especially not after she’d told him about her relationship with Will and why they’d split up. It pissed him off to no end that Will hadn’t appreciated Hannah when she was downright amazing. The fact that he had her thinking that she was unattractive, that she wasn’t enough for him, left him absolutely fucking furious.
Will might be one of his best friends, and he might be missing and in grave danger, but it didn’t change the fact that he was an asshole for treating Hannah the way he had. And the thought that she’d been miserable with Will…
All this time, Jake had kept his distance, after fucking things up between him and Hannah, because he thought she was happy. That had been his one consolation, even though it killed him to not be with her. He’d been respectful of Hannah’s relationship with Will, thinking that at the very least, Will would treat her right, that he’d love her, and care for her. To think that she’d been unhappy for so long, that Will made her doubt herself, that he’d killed her self-esteem, fucking pissed him off to no end—especially when Jake knew firsthand what it was like to take that sort of mental beating.