Ravage and Surrender

by Cali MacKay

  As she hung up, her final words to Will were like a knife to Jake’s heart, even though he knew Hannah still loved Will. How could she not when they’d been together for so long and were still good friends? And yet there was something about the way she said it this time that did Jake in. With his body taut and humming like he’d bitten down on a live wire, he shifted her out of his arms and got up to pace.

  “Jake…” She crossed to his side and stepped in his path, tangling her fingers with his before she slipped into his arms. “I’m sorry that this isn’t a clear-cut decision for me.”

  “And I’m fucking sorry that you don’t see that Will hasn’t changed, and if you do give your marriage another chance, you’ll end up back where you were a year ago, with him pushing you away.” Jake wanted to be more patient with her, but he just couldn’t be. “I refuse to stand by and watch him hurt you again. He may have been trying to figure out who went after your brother, but it was no fucking reason to push you away, Hannah. That was nothing but an excuse to make you stay.”

  She stepped out of his arms, her brow furrowed as she looked up at him. “You don’t know that, Jake. And given the fact that he was just attacked again, how can I blame him for wanting to be cautious about me coming to harm?”

  “How does pushing you away and not making love to you, not giving you the attention you deserve, actually keep you safe, Hannah? It doesn’t make any sense. He didn’t move out—he just didn’t fuck you.” He ran a rough hand through his hair, frustration knotting every muscle in his body. How the fuck could she not see through Will’s bullshit? “And you know what? If he really cared about you, he’d have been honest with you from the start. Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to be about? That you don’t keep secrets from each other—that you share your life and help each other through the hard parts instead of pushing each other away? And what about starting a family? I thought you wanted kids and Will didn’t. Or have you forgotten all of that?”

  “What do you want me to say, Jake? I know my marriage was far from perfect. But Will’s making an effort to change things between us.” Hannah’s tears spilled over and slipped down her cheeks, making him curse under his breath.

  “You know he’s not going to change, and you’re still willing to go back to him—to go back to your marriage even though you were miserable.” When she started to turn away from him, he stopped her, grabbing her gently, and wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Hannah…I fucking love you, and this is killing me.”

  “Well, it’s not exactly easy on me either, Jake. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do. Will was there for me after Ryan’s murder. And he was the one who stuck around when I was the one pushing him away.” She looked up at him, her eyes pleading with him to try to understand, but he just didn’t know if he had it in him.

  He brushed his thumb over her cheek, watching her turn in to his touch as her eyes slipped shut. “How the fuck am I supposed to let you walk away from me, little red, when I can’t live without you? The thought of losing you is killing me—and I refuse to let you put yourself in danger.”

  “But he’s in danger because of me—because of my brother. And you’re asking me to abandon him and leave him to deal with this on his own.” She started to pull away, but he tightened his hold on her, refusing to let her go.

  “No—he’s in danger because he went poking around in stuff he should have turned over to the cops when he first stumbled on it. And now he’s dragged you into it.” Which pissed Jake off to no end. What the fuck had Will been thinking?

  “I don’t want to argue about this.” She grabbed his shirt, holding onto him, pleading with him. “We’ve been together mere days, Jake…I do love you—but he’s still my husband, and…”

  “And what, Hannah? You still love him?” Of course she did—even after years of being fucking miserable. When she looked down, avoiding him, he turned away, cursing.

  “All I’m asking for is a bit of time to try to sort things out.” Tangling her fingers in his hair, she pulled him to her and pressed her lips to his, until he couldn’t help but kiss her back. “Please, Jake…I love you.”

  “Then tell Will it’s over between you. Once and for all.” He swore, if Will put her in danger, if he hurt her again, Jake would murder him with his own hands and spare the criminals the fucking trouble.

  “Don’t you think I wish it were that easy? But it’s not and you know it because I’ve been nothing but honest with you about how I feel from the very start. I want to make a clean break of it, Jake, but I can’t do that until I know for sure that it’s over between me and Will. We were together for eight years—not a weekend.” Her eyes blazed with anger and frustration, but it only served to remind him of just how gorgeous she was.

  And fuck it…if he was going to make her angry, he might as well put all that anger to good use. “Then let me remind you what it’s like to be fucked until you can’t stand, what it’s like to be loved, to be worshipped, since you sure as hell won’t get that from your goddamned husband.”

  Knotting his fingers in her hair, he hauled her to him, his mouth hard on hers as his tongue bullied its way past her lips, taking, tasting, until she returned his passion, her body pressed to his. With his hands on her hips, he spun her around and bent her over the arm of the sofa, yanking her jeans down past her hips and quickly freeing his hard cock. He shoved her legs apart as far as her clothing would allow, and clasping her body to his, he thrust into her, taking her in one go as she cried out his name, her hips pushing back to meet his.

  Jake took her hard and rough, as if trying to mark her as his, down to her very soul, his chest pressed to her back and his arm wrapped tight across her body, nuzzling her as he gently clasped her throat in his hand. He could feel her racing pulse beneath his palm as he fucked her, could feel each breath, each gasp, each needy moan, her sweet cunt tight around his cock, urging him on.

  She reached out to brace herself as he pounded into her, her familiar scent of lime and coconut filling his head, arching into him so he knew she was close, which was a damn good thing since she already had him riding a knife’s edge. The doorbell rang, but he didn’t slow, not even for a moment.

  “Jake…the door…” She got the words out between gasps.

  “I’m not fucking answering it until we’ve both come. Am I clear?” When he bit her neck, it took but a few more strokes to have her crying out, her orgasm leaving her trembling and shaking in his arms as he let loose with a growl, his thrusts finally slowing as he pumped his hot cum deep inside her. With ragged breaths, he held her to him until the last tremors of their orgasms receded and he finally pulled free of her tight pussy, his cum dripping down her leg as the doorbell rang again.

  “Get dressed, little red.” He gave her a sweet kiss on the temple. “Your husband’s here.”

  She glared at him as she pulled her jeans up. “Stop it, Jake. You know it’s not that simple.”

  “No…I suppose it’s not, since he may very well be your husband, but it’s my cum dripping from your sweet cunt.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Hannah couldn’t help but blush as she tried to pretend that she hadn’t just been fucking Jake moments before Will walked into the room—a room that must surely still have the smell of sex lingering in the air. And when Will looked at her with a scrutinizing glare, making it clear that he knew what she and Jake had just been up to, it was impossible to hold his gaze.

  “You fucking bastard.” Will spun on Jake, throwing a punch that Jake managed to dodge, Will’s movements hampered by his wound.

  “Don’t fucking do it, Will.” Jake shoved him hard, and Hannah knew Jake was doing his best to hold his temper back, no doubt in part because of what happened with his father. “You’re injured and I will put you back in the hospital if you throw another punch.”

  Debating whether to get the FBI agents, who were standing guard outside the front door, Hannah pulled on Jake’s arm, stepping in front of him, hoping it’d keep th
ings from escalating. “Both of you need to stop this nonsense right now. Do you hear me?”

  “We’re trying to work things out and save our marriage, Jake. You’d think you’d try not fucking my wife until we’ve finalized our decision.” Will shook his head, hands on his hips as he shifted his gaze to her. “And fuck, Hannah…I don’t even know what to say to you. It’s not as though I hadn’t just called to let you know I was on my way.”

  She already felt guilty enough on her own, but that didn’t mean she’d done anything wrong, and it was different than him making her feel guilty. “You have no right to judge me, Will. We’ve been separated and in the process of getting divorced, and I might be willing to give things between us another shot, but I’ve yet to make that decision—which means I can do as I please. You do not get to give me a guilt trip.”

  “Hannah…it’s not like this is easy on me. But…you’re right. I’m sorry.” Will reached out and knotted his fingers with hers, the anger in his eyes softening. “I need to talk to you—alone. This is important.”

  Jake shook his head and leaned back against the sofa, settling in. “I’m not fucking leaving. Especially when you’re being an ass to her.”

  “This is between me and Hannah—and it’s none of your damned fucking business, Jake.” Will was bristling with anger, and she knew it would come to blows if she didn’t get them to separate rooms.

  Turning to Jake, she let him pull her into his arms, her heart racing as he nuzzled her. “Please, Jake. I really appreciate you wanting to protect me, but I need a few minutes alone with Will.”

  “Hannah…” When she looked up at him, pleading with him to just agree to what she was asking, he relented. “Fine. But I swear, if he’s an ass, if he hurts you, I’ll fucking kill him.”

  Jake gave her a hard kiss and then walked outside where the agents were waiting. Once the door closed behind him, Hannah turned back to Will, suddenly feeling vulnerable. “What is it? What’s going on?”

  “This latest attack has the FBI on edge regarding my safety, and they want me to go into witness protection until I’m able to testify. They’re hoping to expedite things and have this in front of a judge in six months, since there’s enough evidence to get everyone involved convicted, not just on the trafficking charges, but also for your brother’s murder.” He brushed the hair from her face and cupped her cheek. “As my wife, you can come with me—and I think it might be the perfect opportunity for us to get back to what we once had. It’d give us a fresh start, Hannah.”

  “You mean we’d be forced to cut all ties with anyone we know until it went to court. No contact whatsoever.” She felt gutted. How could she not see Will for six months—maybe longer—if she decided not to go with him? And yet if they did go, it would mean not seeing Jake. “I don’t know if I can do that, Will. You know I love you—but I’m not sure about leaving my life behind for that length of time, especially when things are still so uncertain between us. Yet I also can’t imagine not seeing or speaking to you for that amount of time.”

  “I know Jake’s recently become a bigger part of your life, but whatever’s between the two of you is just days old.” Will cupped the back of her neck and pulled her close, his touch so incredibly familiar. “This is our marriage that’s on the line, Hannah. It’s just six months—and if you decided that it’s not working out between us, we could always find a way to have you leave the program at that point. Given our history, I don’t think I’m asking for a lot.”

  She shook her head to clear it, unsure of what to say. It was a huge decision to make. “When do you need an answer? I really need to think about this before I can commit to something so major. Because it’s not just Jake, it’s also my work. I can’t just leave my clients in the lurch.”

  “I’m sure we could figure out a way to get your clients their files.” Will leaned back against the arm of the sofa, his movements still stiff from his injury. “But you need to make a decision soon, Hannah. I think they want to move me in the next day or two.”

  She shook her head no, as her tears spilled over. It was too soon for him to be leaving—and nowhere near enough time for her to make that sort of a serious decision. What the hell was she supposed to do? “A day or two? I don’t even know what to say, Will.”

  “Hey…don’t cry, baby girl.” He brushed her tears from her cheeks and then pulled her into his arms, holding her close as she rode through the waves of emotion that threatened to drown her. “I promise to keep you safe, Hannah—and I swear to make up for all the time we lost out on when I was too worried about involving you in this mess. I never meant to hurt you, and it nearly killed me to push you away like I did. I swear, I only ever wanted to keep you safe and happy.”

  She had no doubt that he probably felt that it was the way it had all played out, and maybe those had been his intentions, but she still couldn’t ignore the years he’d pushed her away and made her feel as if she wasn’t good enough. “You know I love you, Will, but I don’t know that I can go back to the way things were between us—and I know you say you wanted to keep me safe, but I just don’t understand how pushing me away did anything but drive a wedge between us.”

  Will ran a hand across his stubbled jaw, cursing under his breath, anger and frustration sparking in his grey eyes. “What do you want me to say, Hannah? I know I’ve made mistakes—but I wasn’t the only one at fault, damn it.”

  “Are you trying to tell me that I didn’t try? Are you fucking kidding me?” What the hell? Her tears spilled over despite her anger, though he was just as pissed off as she was.

  “You did try. But what was the fucking point when no matter what I did, I couldn’t measure up to what you had with Jake—even though he fucking broke your heart.” He hung his head with a shake before pinning her with a glare. “I know you never meant it, but I could tell…every time we slept together…it was like I couldn’t fucking compare to what you had with him. And I fucking tried, Hannah.”

  It felt like she’d been punched in the gut. “I never…”

  “No…you didn’t ever say anything. But you didn’t need to, damn it. I could see it in your eyes, the way you longed for something more, the way you tried to mask your disappointment, the way you tried to make me feel like it was enough—when we both know it was nothing but a lie.” Will let out a weary sigh, and grabbed her hand. “I know you never meant to hurt me, Hannah—and I know that you were trying to make things work between us. But it took its toll…and instead of disappointing you again, it was just easier to push you away.”

  She felt like she was going to be ill, the tears now streaming down her cheeks, as she raced through her memories. Had she really…? Suddenly she felt as if the last eight years were completely rewritten, all her memories nothing but a lie. Had she been so cruel—without even knowing it?

  “I’m so sorry, Will.” Devastated, she choked back a sob, her heart smashed to millions of pieces.

  He pulled her into his arms, and held her tightly to him. “Don’t be, baby girl…I know you never meant to hurt me—just like I never meant to hurt you. I fucked up by pushing you away instead of figuring out a way to make things work between us. But…it’s why I’m asking for another chance. Come with me, Hannah…please.”

  Now more than ever, she felt like she owed her marriage another chance. And though the thought of letting him go, of not seeing or speaking to him for half a year or more, was killing her, she didn’t know if she had it in her to leave her life behind when so much of their marriage had been an emotional mess. “Don’t go, Will. Can’t they just keep you safe here? Just for a while longer so we can figure this out?”

  “They’re worried about another attack. But this could be our best chance for a fresh start. Please, Hannah…” He cupped the back of her neck and with his head bent to hers, he brushed his lips against hers in a sweet kiss that had her thoughts racing between Will and Jake. “I love you. I know things have been a mess, but I swear, we can make things work this time around.”
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  The door opened, and Jake stepped through, his eyes immediately settling on her in Will’s arms as he stalked towards them. “Get the fuck out of my house, Will.”

  “I need you to decide, Hannah. Please…just say yes.” Will was cupping her face in his hands so she had to look at him, his eyes pleading with her to give him the answer he wanted to hear.

  “I need to think about it some more. I’m sorry. But…I’ll call you. I promise. Just please—stay safe, and we’ll talk soon.” And when he kissed her, she let him, worried it might be the last time she ever kissed him again.

  “Please…just give it some thought.” He gave her a hug that had her wrapping her arms around his neck, his words spoken against her skin. “I love you, Hannah. That will never change.”

  “I love you too.” And she did. It was nothing but the truth.

  Forcing herself to let go of him, she stepped out of his arms and watched him head to the door, hesitating with a final look in her direction before he finally walked out into the cold. She wanted to be strong, but her tears spilled over, her heart breaking.

  Jake stepped to her side, her guilt hitting her once again like a goddamned slap to the face. She just couldn’t win. “Come here, little red. I hate to see you crying.”

  But when he wrapped his arms around her, she couldn’t bear it, the tumult of emotions too much to contend with at that very moment. She pushed him away, swiping at her tears. “I can’t do this—I can’t do any of this. It’s just too much to deal with.”

  “Hannah…what’s going on? What did Will say?” Jake stayed close, his concern for her clouding his gold eyes to deep bronze under his furrowed brow.

  “They’re putting him in witness protection until the trial, which will be six months or longer. He wants me to go with him, Jake. To take that time to give our marriage another try, free of…distractions.” Another wave of tears spilled down her cheeks as she was faced with what felt like an impossible decision.