“Yeah,” she agreed.
“He used to be one,” Bryce said, gesturing at Chase.
Anna turned beet red. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry—”
“Don’t be,” Chase said, laughing. “I was an asshole.”
“But he’s pretty cool now,” Bryce said, winking at Anna again.
She turned even redder. “I’m sure.”
“Wanna sit with us?” I asked.
“Yes—” she started to say, smiling.
Out of nowhere, Gary was there, behind her.
The dude was like a bad dream that kept coming back.
“You don’t want to do that.” He rested his hip on the table, not looking at Chase, and pointed at Bryce. “Loser.” Me. “Poor girl.” Chase. “Murderer.”
Anna gasped.
“You can do better.” Gary looked at us, nodded, and said, “Have a nice day, freaks.”
With that, he walked away.
I glanced at Chase.
His hands were fisted, and he was breathing fast.
“Don’t even think about it,” I warned, resting my hand on his thigh.
He shook his head. “Oh, I’m fucking thinking about it.”
“Asshole,” Bryce muttered, pushing his glasses into place.
Anna hadn’t moved.
Just stood there.
“That guy’s an ass,” Bryce said to Anna. “Don’t listen to him, he gets off on making people feel as bad about themselves as he does, and he’ll say anything.”
“Not entirely true,” Chase argued. “He wasn’t lying.”
Bryce frowned. “Yes. He was.”
“You can go if you want,” I said, meeting her wide eyes. “No one will judge you.”
“What did he mean about…killer?” She laughed nervously, her grip on her books tight. “I mean, like, not literally, right? That’s one of his lies?”
“No, that part was true,” Chase said from between clenched teeth. “I killed my best friend.”
Anna stepped back.
I smacked his arm. “Stop being such a frigging martyr. You did not kill him.”
Bryce nodded agreement.
“But—”
I held my hand up and made a closing motion with my fingers. “Zppp.”
Chase slammed his mouth shut. “Did you seriously just—?”
I did it again.
“What’s happening right now?” Anna asked slowly, looking from me, to Chase, to Bryce, then back again.
“Did you hear about the football player who died?” I asked.
She nodded. “My roommate is a cheerleader, so yeah. I heard about it.”
“Did you hear about the guy who was driving at the same time?”
She nodded again, slower this time. “Racing him?”
“He wasn’t racing him. He was trying to stop him from driving drunk.”
Anna opened her mouth, shut it, and opened it again. “Are you sure? That’s not what I heard…” She broke off, looking at Chase again with understanding. “Oh.”
He pressed his lips together. “Yep.”
She shifted her weight onto her left foot. “You’re…him? The other guy? The one who lived?”
“Yeah,” he said drily. “Just like Harry Potter.”
She still stood there.
Not leaving. Not sitting.
Bryce snorted. “You’re not as cool as him.”
“I agree,” Chase said.
“He was trying to save his life,” I told her, ignoring the boys.
“Yeah, but I didn’t, did I?” Running his hand through his hair, he looked up at Anna. “No one will blame you if you turn around and act like you never met us. I’m the freak of the campus, and everyone hates me. No one wants to attach themselves to that kind of social suicide.”
“I do,” I said, glaring at him.
Bryce also looked less than happy. “Me, too.”
Anna took a breath, closed her eyes for a second, and then sat down in the empty chair. “Me three. Those guys are jerks, so I’ll believe you over them any day.”
I grinned, happiness filling my chest. “I knew you were cool.”
She laughed. “Well, I don’t know about that…”
“Me, either,” Bryce shot back, turning in his chair toward her. “But I know how to find out. Marvel superheroes.”
She raised her brows, also tilting her body toward his. “What about them?”
“Like them?”
She rolled her eyes. “Is the sky blue?”
“Sometimes,” Bryce replied.
“Which one is the best?” Chase asked, resting his elbows on the table.
“Answer carefully,” I warned playfully.
“Oh, well, that’s easy.”
We all leaned in, waiting for her answer.
“Hulk.”
Bryce groaned.
Chase threw his head back and covered his face.
Anna looked around. “What just happened?”
“You gave the wrong answer,” Bryce said.
“What the hell does Hulk have besides green skin and a bad temper?” Chase asked.
“Huge muscles?” she said drily. “And really big feet that could crush everyone else.”
Bryce rubbed his forehead. “Wow. How impressive. Big feet.”
“Oh, and who do you think is the strongest?” she shot back.
“Iron Man.”
She laughed. “As if.”
“I like her,” Chase said, grinning.
“You?” she asked, pointing at him. “Who do you like?”
“The only god of the group.” He shrugged. “Thor.”
She shook her head, then looked at me. “And you?”
“Captain America.”
“Ugh.” She grabbed her books and pretended to stand. “I can’t do this.”
“Sit your ass down, girl,” Bryce said.
She sat back down. “Did you just mention my ass?”
“Maybe,” Bryce said, flushing. “I…uh.”
She waved a hand. “That’s it. You owe me a coffee.”
“What kind?” Bryce asked right away, looking way too relieved to be off the hook.
“Nonfat café con leche.”
He blinked. “Huh?”
“Never mind.” She sighed and stood. “I’ll go with you. Come on.”
Bryce stood immediately. “You guys want another?”
“I’m good,” I said.
“Me, too,” Chase added, throwing his arm around my shoulders.
I snuggled in.
Bryce and Anna went up to the register, arguing over who was better: Iron Man or Hulk. I laughed and looked up at Chase. “I like her.”
“Me, too.” He rested his chin on the top of my head. “You’re good at this.”
“At what?”
“Making friends. Finding people who need you and pulling them in.” He swallowed. “People like me.”
My heart ached. “You technically found Bryce.”
“More like he found me,” he argued.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I really like this group, and the fact that I have friends I can count on to stay by my side now,” he said slowly. “I’ve been really happy with you here, Taylor.”
“I’ve been really happy, too.” I pulled away so I could see his face. He looked a little sad, which was at odds with our conversation. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he said right away, smoothing his face over immediately.
“Chase…” I started, glancing over my shoulder. Anna and Bryce were still in line, arguing and moving closer to one another with each angry hand motion. “We promised to be honest with one another, and you’re not being honest right now. Is it your shoulder? Is it hurting you? We can go—”
“No. My shoulder is fine.”
I frowned. “Then what—?”
He let out a breath and ran his hands through his hair. “It’s just…” He swallowed and looked at me. “I’m happy.”
I blinked. “And that’s making
you upset because…?”
“Joey’s dead.”
“By his own actions.” I slid away from him, resting my leg between us in the gap between our chairs. “You can’t keep blaming yourself for his death. He drank too much. He refused to listen when you told him not to drive. He chose to race you. None of that is on you.”
“I know. I do.” He shrugged, avoiding my gaze. “But I can’t help thinking that I don’t deserve it, and because I don’t, something is going to ruin it soon.”
“Chase…”
He clenched his jaw. “I know. I’m trying to be optimistic, but it’s kind of hard when the past year has been nothing but shit. Old habits die hard. I keep thinking one of these days, you’ll all realize I’m a lost cause and just kind of leave.”
That kind of honesty hit me hard. My heart pounded against my chest because I would have to walk away from him eventually. I had to do it. If I stayed with him, if I didn’t walk away, my parents could lose their jobs, and I couldn’t let that happen. Eventually, I would have to leave him, even if I didn’t want to.
There was no other choice.
“Taylor—” he started.
My phone rang, and I glanced at it on the table. Grabbing it gratefully, I lurched to my feet. “It’s my mom. I have to take it.”
And with that…
I ran like the devil was chasing after me.
Oddly enough, the devil looked a hell of a lot like Mr. Maxwell.
Chapter Eighteen
Chase
Wincing, I rolled my shoulder as I left the doc’s office, frowning because it hurt like a son of a bitch. Every time I came here, he pushed me a little harder. And every time I came here, I hurt a little bit more. It was all part of the process, doc said.
I was trying to believe in him.
Just like I was trying to believe Taylor wasn’t acting weird. Ever since opening up to her about my fears the other week, she’d been off. I tried not to let it bother me, tried not to overthink it when she was probably just busy cramming for school, but the thing was, I was fucking crazy about her, and I was starting to think that to her I was just a means to an end…aka a diploma from Villanova.
My phone rang, and I sighed, answering without looking. “Hello, Father.”
“Another appointment?” he immediately asked.
“Twice a week.” I walked up to my car, unlocking it. “I told you that last time you called me.”
“How is it going?” he asked after a moment’s hesitation.
“Good,” I said, taken aback that he’d actually asked me that. “Doc isn’t sure if I’ll ever get back in the game, but my shoulder is gaining more mobility.”
My dad was silent.
So was I.
Awkward.
“No meds?” he finally asked.
I sighed. “I don’t need any meds.”
“I know that,” he retorted.
“Good.”
I slid into my seat.
After a while: “Still hanging around that Taylor girl?”
“Yeah.” I gritted my teeth. “We study together a lot.” I didn’t know what Taylor had told him, or if I was supposed to know why she was really at Villanova, so I left it at that this time. It occurred to me after I spoke last time that I might have fucked things up for her, and I didn’t want to risk doing so twice. Even if she was only with me for her job, I would do everything in my power to protect her from my father. She wouldn’t be losing her tuition because of me. “My grades are up, too.”
“Good.” He took a breath. “If you keep it up, when you graduate, you can take over here when I retire. Good things come to those who work hard.”
Oh, Jesus. Nothing made me want to fail harder than that.
“I have to go. Keep up the good work, son,” he said, pride in his voice for the first time since I’d crashed my car.
He hung up.
Father had it all planned out.
In his mind, if I wasn’t playing ball, I was taking over the company, and there were no other options. If I wasn’t living my dream, then I was falling in line with his. Being a good little Maxwell heir. Not letting him down.
To be honest, I’d rather go back to being a screwup.
I was better at letting people down than making them proud.
Dropping my head back against the seat, I closed my eyes, my hands resting on the wheel. After an indeterminate amount of time, three knocks sounded on my window. I lurched upright, uncertain if I’d fallen asleep or not, and sat up straight. Turning my head, I half expected it to be the doc telling me to stop sleeping in his damn parking lot, but it wasn’t.
I wished it was.
Amanda waved at me through the glass, smiling cheerily.
I blinked back at her. What the—?
“Hey,” she mouthed.
I opened the door, turning and resting my feet on the side of my car. “Oh. Hey, Amanda. What’s up?”
“Not much.” She pointed at the office building behind us—the same one my doc was in. “Dentist appointment. You?”
“Uh…” I laughed uneasily. “Same.”
“That’s funny, I didn’t see you in there.”
I said nothing.
After a short silence, she smiled again and played with her hair, twirling it around her finger. “Taylor isn’t with you?”
“At the dentist? No.” I asked slowly, cocking a brow. “Is Sean with you?”
Sean was her current man. He was a prick. “N-No. I took the bus.”
“Why not drive?”
“Daddy took my car to the shop. It was making funny noises.” She laughed. “At least, I think it was. Sean said so.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Gotcha.”
“Anyway…” She lifted a foot and toed the pavement. “It was nice seeing you at the party the other week.”
“It won’t be happening again.”
She cocked her head. “Why not?”
“That’s not my scene anymore, and not my crowd.” I shrugged. “I don’t like parties nowadays.”
She bit her lip. “You can’t close yourself off to the world forever.”
“I’m not,” I answered honestly for the first time. “I have friends. We hang out all the time. No games. No assholes. No fighting for popularity, or for the title of big man on campus. Just people chilling together by choice. It’s so simple it’s kind of fucking ridiculous. It took me way too long to realize that the kind of people I hung out with before weren’t really friends at all.” When she glanced down, I quickly added, “Present company excluded, of course.”
She lifted her head, still looking sad. “No, not really. I should have stayed beside you when…when it all happened.”
“I told you not to,” I pointed out.
“But I shouldn’t have listened.” She bit her lip again. “I should have fought for us.”
To be honest, there had been nothing to fight for.
We’d been together, and I’d liked her, but it hadn’t been love. We would have broken up eventually, even if the accident never happened, but I didn’t want to be an asshole and point that out, so instead I said, “You did. You tried. I wasn’t ready to be with someone then, after all that.”
She nodded. “But you are now?”
“Yeah.”
I smiled as I thought of how Taylor had lain in my arms last night, tracing shapes on my bare chest as we talked about our futures. She was focused on school right now, and graduating, while I had talked about what came after. More and more, I was leaning toward doing some sort of military or police work, especially after my run-in with that cop from the night of my nightmare.
After all I’d done, after all I’d seen, I really wanted to make a fucking difference in this world, a good one. If not on the field, with kids chanting my name and wearing my number, then maybe leaving my mark on the world in a quieter way—which might be even better than being a star quarterback.
Father might think I’d fall in line and do as I was told, but he
was wrong. I wasn’t his puppet he got to pull on whenever he wanted. I had dreams of my own. Goals of my own.
If he didn’t like them, and he cut me off, then so be it…
The risk was worth the reward.
“Well, I guess I’ll get going.” She pointed over her shoulder. “Bus will be here in ten minutes.”
“You want a ride back?” I asked without thinking.
She stopped walking away backward. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I mean, why not?” I turned my body back inside the car. “If Sean wouldn’t mind?”
“I don’t care if he does,” she chirped, walking around to the passenger side. “Thanks, Chase. I appreciate it.”
“Sure thing,” I said, closing my door and starting my car.
As she buckled in, I slid into reverse and patiently waited. As soon as her belt clicked, I started backing up.
“How’s your dad?” she asked.
“The same as always.”
“Of course,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Your parents?” I asked politely.
“Same.”
I nodded.
“How did you and Taylor meet?” she asked.
I smiled, thinking of how cute she was when we first started playing together. We’d been children, six and eight. I’d been running through the halls with my toy plane, because Father wasn’t home to yell at me, and I’d ventured into the back halls where the employees of the house lived and worked. When I rounded the corner, I found the prettiest girl I’d ever seen sitting on the floor, a tea set all laid out for her and a teddy bear.
I’d stopped, staring at her, and she’d looked at me. Her pigtails and bright blue eyes had pulled me in, and she’d been wearing a pink dress with a bow.
When I walked up to her, she took one look at my clothes, pressed her mouth together, and said, “Chase?”
I’d been amazed that she knew my name, and I’d immediately dropped my plane and asked if I could have some tea. She’d told me no, that the party was full, and I’d been hooked. Also, I’d been jealous of a fucking teddy bear, because she liked him better than me. I still hated that damn Mister Fluffybottom.
“Chase?” Amanda asked, laughing nervously.
“Huh?”
“You went away for a second,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I asked how you and Taylor met.”
“Oh right.” I turned left at the first light. “Her parents work for mine.”
The Backup Plan Page 14