That argument actually made sense to the logical side of her brain and they were all prepared to refuse to go anywhere near the stable. But then Logan wrapped his arms tenderly around her. He was strong and safe and his embrace was comforting. And yet, at the same time he pushed her to take the tiniest step, unwilling to let her give up easily. That’s when her heart joined the fray. You love him Maggie. You want this. Stay here with him.
Before either side of her brain could argue, he kissed her and told her she was brave. Round one went to her heart.
“All right, my brave lass, let’s just go into the stable to start with.”
Although her heart was thundering, she went with him. They walked past horses in stalls, but Logan stayed between the horses and Maggie. He told her about some of them as they went. She had to admit, the horses in their stalls were not so terribly frightening.
They stopped in front of one stall. The horse inside nickered and reached over the stall door to nuzzle Logan. He reached up and patted the side of the horse’s neck. “This is Micah. He is my horse.”
“I remember,” she said, her voice sounding incredibly small to her. Maggie made no move forward and Logan didn’t urge her to. He continued to stroke Micah and it looked as if Micah nibbled Logan’s neck. “Is he biting ye?”
Logan gave a low chuckle. “Nay, sweetling, it’s more like kissing. He’s showing me affection.”
He moved away from Micah and walked a little farther with her, stopping beside another stall. The horse in it also nickered and reached over the stall door. “Robin, lad, do ye remember yer mistress?” Logan asked in a low soothing voice. Robin nickered again, but Logan made no move toward him.
“Does he want to nuzzle ye like Micah did?” Maggie asked.
“Nay, sweetling, he wants to nuzzle ye. He probably knows ye are afraid; he just doesn’t know ye are afraid of him.”
“Oh.” Maggie hated hearing that. “Should I touch him?”
“What would be better, if ye think ye can, is to just move close enough so he can touch ye.” Robin nickered, reaching his head towards her again. “I promise he won’t hurt ye.”
Cautiously, Maggie stepped closer.
“That’s it, sweetling, move as slow as ye wish.” Logan stayed next to her.
She took another step and finally within reach, Robin pushed his velvety nose against her neck and whickered in her ear.
“Ye’ve missed her, haven’t ye, lad?”
She moved ever so slightly closer and Robin rubbed his head against hers. It was a little more forceful than she expected, but he didn’t hurt her and she didn’t pull away.
Logan took her hand in his and guided it up to stroke Robin’s neck. Robin pushed against her hand. Logan dropped his hand and let Maggie continue stroking Robin’s neck. After a bit Robin raised his head and Maggie stepped back.
Logan wrapped his arms around her from behind. “Well done, Maggie.” At her smile, he nuzzled her neck as Robin had until she giggled.
“I’m still a little scared.”
“I know. That’s why we won’t walk with him today. But I’ll get a carrot to give him.” Logan disappeared for a moment, coming back with a couple of carrots. He stopped and gave Micah one, then offered the other to Robin. “She’ll come back another day, lad. We have to break her in slowly, ye ken.”
Robin nickered and Maggie would have sworn he was agreeing.
Chapter 9
That afternoon had been the first time Maggie had even considered not returning to her own time, but once she did, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Both the logical and illogical sides of her brain teamed up against her heart. Illogical ran around waving its arms and screaming, War! Pestilence! Famine! Logical rolled its eyes and offered a more elegant approach, plumbing, antibiotics, epidurals, and the trump card intended to invite guilt to the party, Responsibilities. To which Illogical said, yeah, that—and don’t forget eggs benedict!
When she was with Logan, she felt…whole, and it had been years since she felt that way. Her heart was battling valiantly. You deserve this.
Logical reminded her about Logan’s words on Love. Love? Where the hell did that come from? Nay, I don’t love ye, and ye don’t love me.
Her heart shook her head. That was before. He does love you. You know he does.
Illogical had to jump in. Don’t forget what he said about being yer laird and knowing what’s best.
Her heart grinned and Logical frowned, saying, That’s not a good example.
But each of these arguments ended in the same place, with Logical reminding her of how her father and sister needed her. This always pulled at her heart too, leaving them in a stalemate.
But it wasn’t even August yet—she still had ages. She put it out of her mind and just endeavored to enjoy the time she spent with Logan. He was still trying to help her conquer her fear of horses. She had reached the point where she could lead Robin walking and she could ride with Logan on Micah but she wasn’t quite ready to sit a horse on her own. Frankly riding with Logan’s arms around her was very pleasant and gave her little incentive to try it on her own.
Then it was August.
August first to be precise. It was another great feast day, Lammas, which celebrated the first grain harvest. It was the third major feast Maggie had attended and it was no less exciting than the first two. Unfortunately she was fully aware that this one might be her last ever. The wedding was two weeks away. Maggie absolutely couldn’t marry Logan if she was leaving. She wouldn’t make him a widower hours after the wedding. She either had to decide to stay or make sure that she could return home before the wedding in a way that the Carrs wouldn’t be blamed.
Maggie needed to shake these morbid thoughts and just enjoy the feast. Logan was engaged in a conversation with one of his guardsmen. Her gaze wandered around the room, eventually landing on Lady Agnes, who chatted with Lady Davina as she ate. Maggie’s heart swelled. She loved both of these women, nearly as much as she loved Logan. Maggie smiled as Lady Agnes laughed heartily at something Davina had said. However in an instant Agnes’ laughter died, her eyes grew wide and she clutched at her throat.
“Agnes, is something the matter?” asked Lady Davina.
Lady Agnes continued to clutch her throat, looking terrified. Maggie knew instantly the dear lady was choking. Davina must have realized it too because she started shaking Agnes by the shoulders.
“Nay don’t!” Maggie was on her feet and around to the other side of the table in an instant. “My lady, can ye speak?”
Agnes shook her head frantically.
“It’s all right. I can help ye.” Maggie stepped behind her, pulling her to her feet. Reaching around Agnes, Maggie placed the fist of her right hand over Lady Agnes’ navel, and wrapping her left hand around her right one, pulled inward and upward in four quick, forceful thrusts. When it wasn’t effective the first time, Maggie repeated the maneuver. This time, Lady Agnes coughed several times, expelling the piece of food on which she had been choking.
“Are ye all right now, my Lady?” Maggie asked. “Are ye having any trouble breathing?”
Lady Agnes’ eyes watered but she answered, her voice a little hoarse, “Nay, lass, for a moment there I couldn’t breathe at all, but I’m fine now.”
“Here, sit down Agnes,” Lady Davina said, putting her arm around Agnes’ shoulder.
In the twenty-first century Maggie would have insisted she go to a hospital anyway but clearly that wasn’t an option. Maybe something to soothe Agnes’ throat and act as a bronchodilator would help. “Perhaps Bearnas can make ye an infusion of peppermint, or better yet elf wort to help soothe yer throat.”
“Aye, I think so,” agreed Lady Davina.
As Maggie glanced around the hall, looking for Bearnas, she realized everyone had fallen silent. She looked immediately to Logan.
Logan seemed as stunned as the rest of the clan. “Maggie, what did ye just do?”
“Yer grandmother was choking.”
“Clearly, but I’ve never seen anything like that before.”
“It’s just a way to force air out of the body and clear the obstruction.” Had she done something wrong?
“Where did ye learn it?”
High school, nursing school, television—there were any number of answers for where she learned the life-saving Heimlich maneuver, but unable to give any of them, Maggie simply said, “I don’t remember.”
“Logan, that doesn’t matter,” said Lady Davina, more irritably than Maggie had ever heard.
Lady Agnes took Maggie’s hand in hers. “My precious lass, ye saved my life.”
Maggie’s attention was drawn back to the woman who she had begun to think of as her own grandmother. “I think ye should retire for the evening. I’ll go with ye and see ye settled.”
By this time Bearnas had wound her way to the head table from where she sat at the trestles. “I agree, my lady, let Lady Maggie help ye to bed. She is also right about the elf wort. I will go prepare the infusion and bring it to ye shortly.”
Logan’s mother glanced around the silent hall, frowned and, placing her hand on Maggie’s shoulder said, “I’ll go with ye.”
After they had Lady Agnes settled, and Bearnas had left, Maggie said, “I suppose I should say good night as well.”
“Nay, Maggie, sit with us for a bit,” said Lady Agnes.
“Aye, please,” added Lady Davina.
“Have I done something wrong?”
“Oh, nay, lass,” said Lady Agnes.
Lady Davina took one of Maggie’s hands in hers. “It’s just that was rather spectacular. Like Logan said, I’ve never seen anyone do that. Margaret couldn’t have known that.”
Maggie felt dread rise. “What are ye saying?”
“All we’re saying, lass,” said Lady Agnes, “is we have to come up with an explanation.”
Lady Davina nodded. “I am perfectly willing to believe it was a moment of Divine inspiration, but less charitable souls may come up with darker explanations if we give them the opportunity.”
“I don’t understand. How could there be anything dark about helping a choking person clear their airway?” But she had feared something like this from the start.
“Ah, sweet lass, some people can see darkness in the most innocent and wonderful things,” said Lady Agnes.
“But it’s just common sense. What happens if you squeeze a wineskin forcefully like that?”
Davina smiled. “The cork would pop out.”
“Aye. That’s what I was thinking. The food stuck in Lady Agnes’ throat was like the cork. I just hoped I could put enough pressure on it to pop it out.”
“Perfect,” said Lady Agnes. “We’ll tell that story and credit quick thinking.”
“Aye, that should work,” agreed Davina. “Maggie ye go to bed now. I’ll talk to Logan.”
Maggie frowned. “Will he be upset by this?”
“Aye, but for the same reason we were. He will want to protect ye. Now, go on to bed, I’ll take care of this.” Davina wrapped her arms around Maggie, giving her the kind of hug she hadn’t had since her own mother passed away.
Maggie bid them both goodnight and went to bed as Lady Davina had told her to. However, a whole new argument began raging between Maggie’s head and heart.
Her heart reminded her that not only was Logan a man who would love and protect her forever, his mother and grandmother had become dearer to her than she had realized possible. It would have broken her heart to lose Lady Agnes tonight. But ye will lose Lady Agnes and Lady Davina forever if ye return, her heart warned.
Logical said one word—witchcraft. Tonight was nothing, little more than physics. The women who loved her had been determined to ensure that no evil intent could be ascribed to it. But the fact was, Maggie had been brought here by some force she didn’t understand, with a headful of knowledge that could get her into serious trouble. It was not fair to Logan to stay here and potentially put him or his clan at risk without telling him the truth.
Her heart nodded sadly in agreement. For once Illogical had the sense to keep her mouth shut.
The more Maggie thought about this, the more she realized she had to tell Logan the truth, whether she decided to stay or not. He deserved to know. But she couldn’t tell him yet. As much as she loved him and believed he loved her, he was a medieval man. The truth might be more of a burden than his love could bear. If he did not want her to stay, if…well, she still had to do what she could to protect them. She needed to wait until Margaret’s father’s arrival was imminent.
But if he did believe her, if he loved her anyway, could she stay?
Chapter 10
The events of Lammas were no more than a pebble in the road. Logan had managed the clansmen and women at the feast and by the time his mother returned there was a simple, logical explanation that nipped other speculation in the bud. If he had any doubts about his love for Maggie before that night, he had none afterwards. It was one of the most impressive things he had ever witnessed. She had figured out what was happening, was around the table and had saved his grandmother’s life before most people realized there was a problem. She didn’t panic, she just handled it.
In his eyes, she was his perfect mate. Smart, kind, poised, beautiful, adventurous, exuberant, strong, courageous and oh so beautiful. He desired her as he had no woman before. The wedding couldn’t come quickly enough.
~*~
As the wedding day grew closer at an alarming pace, Maggie wanted to spend as much time with Logan as possible. She feared that even if she wanted to stay, when he found out, he wouldn’t want her to. She needed to pack as much joy into a few short days as she could.
She was determined to do one thing whether she stayed or not. Overcoming her fear of horses had been so important to Logan and he had been so patient with her, she was determined to give him this. She would ride Robin.
The look of delight on his face the day she did fed her soul with pure joy. She adored this man. He had captured her heart as she was sure no other man ever could. She knew with certainty that she belonged at his side. She was equally as sure that the decision to stay was not hers alone to make.
Then the day came.
The wedding was only four days away and Margaret’s father was due to arrive today. That meant she had to tell Logan the truth today. She couldn’t make this decision without him. Before Freya came to help her dress, she dug out the pair of shoes in which she had hidden the pocket watch. She slipped the watch around her neck, tucking it under her léine. After Freya helped Maggie into her outer dress and had braided her hair, Maggie hurried down to the great hall for breakfast.
Logan looked up from where he sat at the head table, his face lighting in a smile. “There’s my beautiful lass.”
She smiled back, crossing the hall to sit with him at the table. His lips brushed her cheek with a kiss. That wouldn’t do this morning. She wrapped her arms around him, holding tightly for a moment. She loved him with all her heart. She found herself praying that she wouldn’t have to leave him.
He must have sensed her tension. “Maggie, is something wrong?”
“Nay, not exactly. But I need to speak with ye. Alone.”
“All right, sweetling, break yer fast and we’ll find a place to talk.”
Maggie ate a bannock quickly. “Can we go now?”
“Is that all ye’re going to eat?”
“I don’t have much appetite this morning. Can we go now?”
Logan frowned, “Aye.”
“I was thinking the chapel would be a good place to talk where we will be sure to be alone and undisturbed.”
He nodded, taking her hand. “If ye wish.”
They left the keep and walked across the bailey, entered the chapel and sat on one of the benches. Maggie whispered a prayer that he would believe her.
“Something has upset ye, Maggie. Tell me what it is.”
Maggie took a deep breath. “Before I start, I need to tell ye, I love ye
with all of my heart Logan.”
He frowned and kissed the back of the hand he still held. “I love ye too.”
“Remember that. What I’m about to tell ye is going to be hard to believe.” His brow furrowed but she went on. “You remember the day of the accident? The day I…changed?”
“I could hardly forget that, my love. I fear this sounds cruel, but I am glad it happened.”
“I know ye are. I am too. Margaret was more than spoiled and self-important, she was intentionally mean. She didn’t give a whit about anyone but herself. The choice to ignore yer warning that day was pure folly. I am so very sorry for the hurt Margaret caused.”
“But ye changed. Ye are a completely different lass now.”
She knew Logan had no idea how accurate that statement was. “Aye, I am. But I didn’t just lose my memory. After the accident there were things I knew that Margaret didn’t. Like healing skills and Latin. No one seemed to know that Margaret could read, but I can read Latin.”
He smiled, “But not Gaelic.”
She nodded. “Aye, not Gaelic. And I know how to stop a person from choking. There are reasons for this and I want to tell ye why but please, promise ye will listen to my whole story before ye react.”
His expression sobered. “Ye’re worrying me.”
“I know I am and I’m sorry, but please will ye promise me?”
“Aye. I’ll listen to yer whole story before reacting.”
She took a deep breath. “Do ye agree that there are things in the world which people don’t understand, things known only to God?”
“Aye.”
“But there are things which people think they understand and accept as irrefutable fact?”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Aye, facts are facts.”
“Logan, there are some things which people believe to be facts that aren’t quite as simple as they seem. What I’m about to tell ye is one of those things.”
Logan shook his head. “But, Maggie—”
“—Nay Logan, ye promised to listen.”
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