by Jill Shalvis
He wasn’t sure. But he did know that right before she’d left, she’d flashed a vulnerability, like she was surprised to find that she liked him.
Too much.
He recognized it only because it was the exact same for him. Which meant they were at a bit of an impasse. Maybe with a little distance, they’d both come to realize it was just physical attraction. They could explore that—in great detail, he hoped—and then when he left, there’d be no bad feelings.
So he’d driven up to Sonoma to visit an old friend. He’d gone to middle school with Donovan, and even back then, the guy had always wanted to move outside the city and have a horse ranch. He’d recently bought property, and when Kel got there and rode around with him over his hundred acres, he got it. The rolling hills were rich and lush and gorgeous, but more than that it was about being on the land with the horses. There was a peace to it that was missing from his life. They’d stayed up late talking about old times, and Kel’d had a hell of a time getting out of bed at the butt crack of dawn.
Caleb hadn’t had a single ounce of sympathy, dragging Kel’s half-dead body out anyway. “Thought you were a country boy. Country boys are hardy,” he said, pushing Kel hard.
Kel’d had just enough spare energy to flip him off. But it was his own fault. He’d not told Caleb, or any of his family, how badly he’d been injured.
“So,” Caleb said casually. “What’s going on with you and Ivy?”
Kel nearly tripped over his own feet. “Nothing.”
“Is that because you think you’re relationship jinxed, or because she’s not interested in you?”
Oh, there was interest. Lots of it. And that wasn’t ego. It was fact, and it went both ways, and it was seductive and hot as hell.
And just a little terrifying. “You know my job gets in the way of my personal life,” he said.
“It’s not your job,” Caleb said. “It’s you.”
His sister, Remy, had said that to him on numerous occasions. So had the last two women in his life. It rang in his head more than it should. It’s you . . .
He’d ignored all of it.
“Ivy’s a five-foot-two-inch dynamo of a cook with a personality much bigger than her petite frame,” Caleb said, not struggling to breathe and run and talk at the same time, the bastard. “And she’s one of the rare good ones.”
“I know.”
“She’s independent, savvy, fearless, creative, street smart, and has some serious authority issues.”
Kel snorted at the truth of all of that.
“You can count on her to give it to you straight up.”
Kel thought maybe this wasn’t necessarily true. He saw Ivy slightly different. He believed she was a chameleon, and good at figuring out what people wanted to hear.
Which meant he wasn’t 100 percent certain why she appealed to him so very much. And there was appeal. So effing much appeal . . .
After the run, they stopped for breakfast tacos. It was seven straight up and there was a line at Ivy’s truck, but she served quickly and efficiently, exchanging an easy banter with everyone in front of them in line.
When it was Kel’s turn, she met his gaze, her own hooded.
Yeah. She didn’t know how to handle this thing either.
“What’ll it be, cowboy?” she asked.
Thinking he was being cute, he smiled and said, “What do you suggest?”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re a glutton for punishment.”
“I’m not,” Jake said. “My usual, please.”
Caleb nodded the same. “We need it to go, cutie, we’ve got a meeting.” And as they stepped aside to wait, his cousin eyed Kel. “You screw things up?”
“There’s nothing to screw up.”
“I really thought you’d have more game than this,” Jake said.
When their order came up, Ivy handed out their baskets, again serving Kel last. Their fingers brushed and she sucked in a breath.
“Thanks,” he said quietly, not pulling his basket from her hand, but holding it with her, stalling . . . “How’s it going?”
Their eyes met. She didn’t answer, but gave him a small—and, he’d like to think, just for him—smile, before walking away.
Jake and Caleb were staring at him.
“What?” he asked.
“There was enough heat in the air between the two of you to light this whole city up in flames,” Caleb said.
Jake just gave a slow nod. “Guess you do have some game after all.”
Caleb’s and Kel’s phones both buzzed at the same time with a reminder of a meeting in thirty minutes. Their entire day was full.
The story of his life, of course. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Ivy his life didn’t lend itself to relationships. But it was the first time he’d ever wanted to put personal stuff ahead of work. He wanted to take the time to talk to her, and see what might happen next.
This of course led to some fairly creative fantasizing, none of which he had any business doing. Didn’t stop him. And it wasn’t all sexual. He thought about taking her out on the water in one of Jake’s boat. Sans Jake, of course. Or walking Pier 39 and sightseeing. Or going out on the town for the night.
The entire duration of his and Caleb’s meeting with the city inspectors, he nodded when necessary and spoke when he needed to, but in spite of the importance of the meeting, he’d definitely done what he’d never thought he could—relegated brain power to his personal life.
To Ivy.
He’d hoped to get some time later in the day to go talk to her, but that didn’t happen. And right after work, he had something else he had to do first, something he’d put off.
He wasn’t even sure why. He loved his sister. They had a good relationship. She’d been in Idaho just a few months ago and had stayed with him. Plus, he couldn’t wait to see the new baby. But he knew it wasn’t going to be just a catch-up visit. It wasn’t going to be that simple. His sister wanted family unity, including his mom.
And Kel wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Or if he ever would be. So he stood on the porch of his sister’s small Victorian house in the Soma District, hands shoved in his pockets, feeling more jumpy than he’d ever felt at work in Idaho, and that was saying something.
He knocked, but he could hear a baby wailing away at high decibels inside, so he doubted anyone could hear him. But just as he lifted his hand to knock again, the door whipped open and his sister, Remy, stood there with a baby in her arms, red face and crying.
The baby, not his sister, though Remy looked like she was on her way to doing the same. “Oh, hello. Has hell frozen over?” she asked.
He grimaced. Yeah, he was really good at pissing off all the females in his life. “Sorry it took me so long.”
“Harper’s three months old.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. I let work rule my life and I suck.” No way was he going to tell her he’d nearly ended up six feet under, especially when she looked so close to losing it. “I missed you. Can I come in?”
“I’m trying to decide,” she said, her brown eyes looking suspiciously shiny, her voice hitching.
Shit. He knew what that meant. An impending storm. He slowly stepped into her, forcing her to back up a step. Shutting the door behind him and hitting the bolt, he turned and pulled Remy and the baby into him for a hug.
Remy clung for a long beat and he knew they were going to be okay. He kissed Remy on the top of her head and then nodded to the still squalling bundle. “May I?”
His sister handed the baby over, and at the exchange, the little thing hiccupped and took a shuddery breath, holding off on the sobs for a beat as she took in her new carrier. Huge drenched eyes stared up at Kel, her skin blotchy and mottled from her temper tantrum. “Hey, Harper,” he said softly, staring into her sweet little face.
A face that started to scrunch up again, because clearly the kid knew the score. He wasn’t packing warm, soft curves. Or her next meal. “You’re not going to cr
y on me, are you?” he asked. “Because you’re way too special to be so worked up. In fact, I promise you right here and now, if anyone ever makes you cry, they’ll answer to me.”
The baby blinked, her face still half scrunched up like she couldn’t decide whether to cry some more or to lay low.
“I get it,” he whispered. “You don’t know me. But I’m your errant uncle Kel, the one who was on a case when you decided to show up four weeks early. I’m sorry I couldn’t get here until now, but I’ve gotta say, you are worth the wait.” His chest tightened up just looking at her. “You’re beautiful.”
The baby cooed at him and then projectile vomited all over him. Stunned, he lifted his face to Remy’s.
Who no longer looked like she was going to cry. In fact, she burst out laughing. “Welcome back.”
Thirty minutes later, he was showered and sitting shirtless in Remy’s kitchen while she washed his shirt. Remy’s husband, Ethan, called to say he’d picked up dinner on his way home from work.
He showed up with tacos from Ivy’s truck.
Kel stared at The Taco Truck bag as his sister squealed in delight and started pulling out the food with one hand, a sleeping Harper in her other arm, the baby looking sweet and innocent and not at all like the she-devil she was. “Oh my God,” Remy moaned, leaning over the bag to give her husband a big fat thank-you kiss. “Kel, you’ve got no idea how good these tacos are. I make Ethan go miles out of his way at least once a week to bring them home. The cook’s amazing.”
Kel let out a low, ironic laugh. Seemed he wasn’t the only member of his family Ivy had made a big impression on. “I’ve eaten there. And you’re right, she’s amazing.”
And elusive.
And sassy, funny, smart, and a taker of absolutely zero bullshit.
Some of his favorite things.
Ethan snagged his wife and cuddled her into him. “How are my two babes doing today?”
“Great,” Remy said. “One of us had a whole bunch of colic and gas earlier.”
“Is it the one of you I sleep with?”
Remy lightly smacked Ethan’s chest. “No! But then she threw up all over Kel—like seriously threw up, it was a horror flick. After that, she felt much better.”
Ethan grinned at Kel. “Welcome home, man. And thanks for taking one for the team. Usually she does it to me.”
“Someone could’ve warned me.”
“I wouldn’t have had to if you’d come sooner,” Remy said. “You’d already know to duck.”
“How long are you going to be mad at me for not coming sooner?” Kel asked. Only Caleb knew what had happened at work, minus the part about him being injured. He hadn’t wanted to freak anyone out, and anyway, he was fine now.
Mostly.
“Are you going to see Mom when you’re here?” Remy volleyed back.
Kel took another taco.
“Uh-huh,” Remy said. “Then I’m going to stay mad until you’re no longer a dumbass.”
Ethan winced. “Remy—”
“Don’t even try to take his side,” she warned her husband. “I can only handle one stupidly stubborn male ego at a time.”
“It’s not about ego,” Kel said.
“Fine. It’s about your inability to come to terms with the fact that family forgives family. You move on from the past and accept what is.”
Kel shook his head. She didn’t understand. And how could she? He’d been ten years old when he’d walked in on their mom and a man in his parents’ bed.
A man who hadn’t been his dad.
Wanting to protect both his sister and his dad from what he’d seen, he’d kept his mom’s precious secret, but watching her live a lie had scarred him as a kid.
Even more so when his dad had died of a heart attack two years later without ever realizing his wife had betrayed and lied to him.
Worse, after they’d buried him, his mom had gone off the deep end, losing her mind with grief.
And actually, that was Kel’s biggest problem. It wasn’t her lies necessarily. Adult relationships were complicated and he understood that now. What he didn’t understand, what he would never be able to understand, was how his mom had abandoned him and his sister in Idaho, where they’d been raised by their grandparents on their small ranch in Sunshine, a town at the base of the Bitterroot Mountains.
Back then, he’d been told his mom would come for them when she could get it together.
That had never happened.
Instead, his mom had moved on, he’d found out years later, with that same guy she’d cheated on his dad with, Henry something or another.
At the time, Kel had felt lost in his grief, which he’d had to shove deep because Remy had needed him and so had his grandparents. Being so far from home in a new place with nothing familiar around him had been hard.
He and his mom had talked about it once, years ago now, when he’d point-blank asked her why. She’d said he wouldn’t understand. And she was right about that. The few times they’d seen each other since, he’d done his best to not talk to her at all. “You think you know everything,” he said to Remy. “But you don’t.”
“So tell me.”
He couldn’t do that. Remy and their mom had come to a sort of peace and had a real relationship. He wouldn’t jeopardize that.
“Want to know what I think?” Remy asked.
“No.”
She ignored this. “I think that you think you know everything, but you don’t.”
“Then please enlighten me,” he said.
“Oh hell, no. You’ll have to talk to the source for that intel,” she said. “It’s not my story to tell. But I can say this . . .” She paused and softened her voice. “Mom’s happy, Kel. Really, truly happy. Henry’s a great guy—” She broke off at the look on Kel’s face and sighed.
After an awkward, tense silence, Ethan spoke. “Why do you suppose Harper never cries when we need her to?”
Remy reached for the plate of tacos. Kel ducked.
Remy rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to throw them at your stubborn face.”
“Well it wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Whatever,” Remy muttered. “I’m mature now. I’ve got a kid.”
“Right, because you didn’t throw shit at my head when you were in labor,” Ethan said.
“Hey, you were eating French fries and I was starving,” she pointed out. “You’re lucky I didn’t gnaw your arm off.”
“The mother of my child,” Ethan said fondly, and kissed Remy’s cheek.
She shrugged. “Fine. I have my moments. But at least I know how to forgive.” She sent a meaningful look in Kel’s direction and then passed him the hot sauce before he asked for it because she remembered he loved hot sauce.
Apparently, he was forgiven for being a dumbass. And that was the thing with his sister. She always forgave him, no matter what. He wouldn’t mind having the ability to do that. It wasn’t like he wanted to be harboring resentment for their mom. Or for anyone who’d hurt him in the past. “Thanks for not throwing stuff at me,” he said softly.
“I must really love your dumb ass,” she replied back just as softly.
Chapter 8
“If you don’t squeeze your bum, no one else will!”
At midnight, Kel found himself on the moonlight hike up Lands End. He’d picked up Ivy and they went to O’Riley’s pub in the Pacific Pier Building to meet the others.
Caleb introduced him to everyone by ticking off the names of his friends. “Elle, Archer, Spence, Colbie, Lucas, and Molly . . . Sadie, who you already know . . .”
Sadie, her dark hair with its purple tips, which matched her nails and lipstick, bowed with a smartass smile.
Caleb blew her a kiss and went on. “And Haley, and her date, Dee; and then Ivy, who you appear to know better than I thought . . .”
He rolled his eyes, but Ivy ignored Caleb’s statement entirely. He figured it was her default setting, ignoring things that made her uncomfortable, and their
attraction to each other definitely made her uncomfortable. He hoped to get her past that tonight.
They took three cars, and Kel landed in Caleb’s vehicle along with Sadie and Ivy. Caleb drove, smiling like he knew something no one else did.
“What?” Kel asked.
“Nothing.”
Bullshit it was nothing, but Kel also knew it most likely wasn’t anything he wanted to discuss in front of Sadie and Ivy.When they parked, Kel pulled Ivy aside. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
“Everything okay?”
“Sure.”
Since she was avoiding eye contact, he tilted her face up to his. “Okay, different question. Do we have a problem?”
“No.”
“Ivy.”
She lifted a shoulder. “We don’t have a problem. You don’t have a problem. I have a problem.”
“Which is?” he asked.
“Personal.”
“Personal as in there’s something going on between us and you don’t know what to do about it?” he asked.
She looked a little startled. “Are you always so forthright?”
“Yes.”
“Hey, are you guys coming or what?” Caleb called to them from the trailhead. “Or do you need a room?”
Kel looked at Ivy. “I hope you don’t mind that I’m going to have to kill him. I’m sorry for your loss.”
She laughed, which made him smile.
“Zip it,” she yelled back to Caleb, eyes still on Kel. “We’re coming.” She turned to go, but he caught her hand.
“So we’re okay?” he asked.
“We’re not a we, but yeah, we’re okay.”
He’d take that. For now.
Everyone hit the trail along the coastline and up to Eagle’s Point Overlook. The walk was punctuated by light conversation and laughter in the way only a tight-knit group could.
Kel had spent his first twelve years in San Francisco, but his memories of the city were like having photos on shuffle in his mind, just flashes of time and place. He was pretty sure he’d been to Lands End before, but he had no specific memories of it.
That was forever changed now. He wasn’t easily impressed by scenery. After all, he’d spent the past two decades in the Bitterroot Mountains, which was heaven on earth as far he was concerned. The sharp, jagged, rugged peaks with their blanket of gorgeous forestland that went on as far as the eye could see was unparalleled.