‘You are wearing the aquamarines.’
Her flush deepened. ‘Yes. They go perfectly with this gown.’
‘They go perfectly with you.’
His brooding gaze rested on her like a heavy mantle of fur, warm and nearly suffocating. She glanced away from him and saw Lady Mainwaring look from him to her. She made herself smile at the other woman who merely looked at her for a long moment before turning her attention to Hugo.
‘Hugo, my dear, please pass the salt,’ she purred.
Annabell noticed every man at the table look at Lady Mainwaring as though unable to resist the call of her voice. The lady’s smile was self-satisfied as Hugo acquiesced. She picked daintily at her food.
Unable to tolerate much more, Annabell was glad to see the footman remove the dishes. The next course had to be better than this last one. It was not.
Annabell sat through dinner, feeling as though she were being tortured for wanting something she could not have. If she had never loved Hugo, she would not be suffering now.
The next course was removed. And so it went.
Juliet finally rose and Annabell followed suit with an alacrity that threatened to topple her chair. Without a backward glance, she followed her hostess from the room. They trooped back into the salon, a large rectangular room that never seemed warm.
Before the tea tray was brought in, Annabell rose. ‘Please excuse me, Juliet. I have the headache and plead exhaustion.’
Juliet stood immediately, went to Annabell and took one of her hands. ‘You poor thing. You have been working too hard trying to finish your excavation. Of course you are excused. I will send a maid up with tea and some laudanum to help you relax.’
Annabell smiled. She could easily understand what her stepson saw in this woman five years his senior.
‘Thank you, but I don’t need anything. I am merely tired. After a good night’s sleep I will feel right as can be. I will probably miss breakfast too since I wish to spend every minute at the villa so I can finish this as quickly as possible and intrude no longer.’
Juliet shook her head. ‘You are more than welcome here, Annabell, with or without the Roman villa.’
Annabell’s smile deepened. ‘You always make me feel warm and liked. Now, if you will excuse me.’
Susan, realising what was happening, scurried over. ‘Oh, dear, oh, dear. I knew you were working too hard. Tomorrow you must rest instead of going out there. The men from the village will be able to carry on for a day without you. You know they will. I will go up with you and make sure that you get your tea and laudanum.’ She turned to Juliet Fitzsimmon. ‘What a perfect idea, Lady Fitzsimmon, to have laudanum sent up. Annabell does not have any with her. She does not like to take drugs of any sort, but she does look peaked. A good night’s rest will be the best thing for her and laudanum will ensure that she gets it.’
Annabell nearly groaned. The last thing she needed was Susan’s over-solicitousness. Her companion always meant well, but she could be exhausting.
‘I will be perfectly fine, Susan, dearest. You stay here and enjoy yourself. The gentlemen will be arriving shortly.’
‘Oh, no, I couldn’t let you go up all by yourself.’
‘Of course you can. I will be fine. A maid will bring the tea and laudanum, which I will take.’ Susan raised both brows. ‘I promise.’
‘Well—’
‘Oh, stop,’ Lady Mainwaring’s smoky voice interrupted. ‘She has said she will do it. She is a grown woman with a penchant for exerting her independence. Let her be.’
Annabell’s eyes widened slightly. She looked at the rival who had won the match and very likely didn’t even know there had been a contest. Lady Mainwaring shrugged her delicately rounded white shoulders as though to say, what a fuss.
More flustered than ever, Susan said, ‘Oh. Yes. I know that, Lady Mainwaring. I had just thought to help. Nothing more.’
Annabell, whose hand had been released by Lady Fitzsimmon, moved to touch Susan. ‘It is all right. I know you only meant to help. You always think of others before yourself, dear Susan. But, as Lady Mainwaring said…’ she cast a considering glance at the other woman ‘…I am fully capable of taking care of myself in this matter.’
‘What matter is that?’ Hugo’s voice preceded him through the door.
‘Nothing that need concern you,’ Annabell replied quickly. Then added, ‘Sir Hugo. But thank you for your concern.’ She turned to the other women. ‘Goodnight.’
She felt Hugo’s gaze on her as she left. Heat crawled up her back and made her head ache even more. She wished the excavation was done and she could leave. She would go join Guy and Felicia in London and Susan could remain here if that was acceptable to Juliet. That would give Susan more time with Mr Tatterly.
Annabell reached her room, closed her door and locked it, leaving the key in the hole so no one with another key could unlock it. She did not think Hugo would follow her with everyone here, but there were times when his passion was upon him that proprieties were the last thing on his mind.
She managed to undo her dress and let it fall to the floor and left it. She would wait till morning to hang it in the massive wardrobe. She would feel better then. She left the jewellery on.
Moving toward the mirror on the dressing table, she picked up a candelabra. She set the candles down and sank on to the chair. Her reflection, morose and exhausted, looked back at her from the mirror. Instead of unfastening the jewels as she had intended, she studied them. The flawless watery blue of the aquamarines were complemented and lent added sparkle by the circling diamonds. The white gold the gems were set in looked good on her pale skin. Hugo had picked well, so well that he might have had them specially made just for her.
Slowly, she unfastened the necklace, next the two bracelets and lastly the drop earrings. She picked up the box they’d come in from amongst the scattered bottles and vials. She carefully arranged them on the black velvet. She would not wear this gift again.
When the maid came with tea and laudanum, Annabell unlocked the door, and the maid saw that she was already dressed for bed. ‘Thank you,’ she told the young girl, who bobbed a curtsy. ‘You may go.’
The girl bobbed another curtsy and scuttled back out the door. Annabell relocked it. That would keep Hugo out, but would it keep her in? In spite of everything, she longed to go to him, to touch him, to have him hold her. She was hopeless.
She drank the tea and left the laudanum. The opiate always left her feeling muddled in the mornings after she’d taken it. She would need her wits about her tomorrow.
Annabell rose earlier than was her habit, dressed and went downstairs. She doubted that her daily provisions were ready yet or that breakfast had been set out so she would go to the kitchen and get a bit of toast and some tea. She moved quietly on the carpeted hall and was just about to round a corner when she heard voices. She stopped.
‘Miss Pennyworth,’ Mr Tatterly’s solid voice said, ‘you are up early.’
‘Yes, Mr Tatterly. I have chores to finish before I can join Annabell at the villa.’
Susan’s voice was even more breathless than normal. Annabell smiled.
‘Perhaps if I helped you, you would have some time to take a stroll through the gardens with me? They are very nice this time of morning.’ There was a hesitation to Mr Tatterly’s voice, as though he were not sure of his ground.
‘Why, thank you,’ Susan said.
Annabell could imagine the smile on her companion’s face. Things were progressing nicely between the couple. She would find another way downstairs to give the two some privacy, but the next words stopped her.
‘I have something I wish to ask you in private.’
Tatterly sounded as though his cravat was too tight and he had to force the words past the constriction. Annabell sympathised with his nervousness. She anticipated that he wished to ask Susan to marry him, and that would make any man nervous, let alone one as shy as Mr Tatterly.
‘Oh, my.’ Susan
, on the other hand, sounded thrilled. ‘Of course I will walk with you. Shall we go now?’
‘What about your chores, Miss Pennyworth? I don’t wish to interfere with them.’
‘You shan’t, Mr Tatterly.’
Annabell walked back to her chamber door to give the couple time to get down the stairs. She would soon lose her companion, but while she was sad she was also glad. Susan would be happy with Mr Tatterly.
After several moments, she retraced her steps to find them gone. She descended to the ground floor. The delay had been long enough that her food hamper stood in its regular position by the front door. She fetched it and started out only to see Lady Mainwaring on the front steps dressed for riding.
Annabell paused for an instant before nodding. ‘Good morning, Lady Mainwaring.’
‘The same to you, Lady Fenwick-Clyde. I hope you are feeling better today.’
Her sultry voice seemed to cling like honey to every word. No wonder Hugo had taken her as his mistress. And that was without taking into account her considerable beauty. Her rich gold hair was swept up and under a navy blue velvet hat with a single ostrich plume that curved so the end tickled her flawless cheek-bone. Her lips were full and red as the evening sun. Her figure was outlined to perfection in a tight-fitting habit. A waterfall of fine lace spilled from her jabot to draw attention to her voluptuous bosom.
Annabell felt completely inadequate in her practical harem pants, man’s plain white shirt and loose-fitting jacket. She felt absolutely clumsy in her wellingtons. Well, there it was and nothing she could do about it. She and Lady Mainwaring were the complete antithesis of one another.
With only a tiny pang of jealousy, Annabell replied, ‘I am much better today, thank you. A good night’s sleep is the best cure for ailments.’
‘Generally.’ Lady Mainwaring laughed and a wicked gleam entered her eyes. ‘Are you off to your Roman villa?’
‘Yes.’ Annabell wondered what the woman was up to. She couldn’t be interested in something so unfashionable as an excavation.
‘Hugo has told me a little about what you are doing. Very commendable.’ She flicked the riding crop against her lower leg. ‘But what I find utterly fascinating is your independence. I don’t know another woman who would do as you are.’
Annabell studied the other woman’s face, looking for derision or malice. There did not appear to be either.
‘I do as I please and have done so since Fenwick-Clyde’s death. If that is independent, then so be it.’
‘Do you follow your own desires in everything?’
Now there was a hint of something more than interest in the lady’s voice and expression. Annabell wondered if she was prying into her personal life. It was none of her business if that was the case.
‘I do as I see fit, Lady Mainwaring. Nothing more and nothing less.’ She picked up the wicker basket she had set down when the two of them had started talking. ‘Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do.’
‘Of course,’ Lady Mainwaring murmured. ‘And I have a ride to enjoy. I look forward to seeing you at dinner.’
Annabell smiled but said nothing. She did not look forward to seeing anyone at dinner tonight. Perhaps she would plead another headache and have a tray sent up to her room. That would be easier.
Every time she saw Hugo’s former mistress and soon-to-be wife, she felt a pang of jealousy and pain that was far from pleasant. She had never considered herself a petty person, but she did not enjoy seeing Lady Mainwaring’s extraordinary beauty or hearing her sultry voice. She had to let that go. She could change nothing.
And for now, she had work to do.
Chapter Fifteen
Annabell slipped on to the veranda while everyone else was in the salon talking or playing cards. She had been unable to continue seeing Lady Mainwaring draped over Hugo’s arm and hanging on every word he said. Weak and petty, but she was rapidly learning that where he was concerned she was not as strong as she had always thought.
The scent of roses reached her. The moonlight showed a gravel path through the gardens. A walk might calm her down, help her regain her equilibrium.
She moved down the steps, smiling at the lion rampant that guarded the entrance to the rose walk. To her fanciful imagination, he was a large tabby cat rearing on hind legs to catch a butterfly. She smiled and realised with a start that it had been a long time since she had seen anything whimsical in life. If nothing else, falling in love with Hugo had given her a deeper appreciation for everything around her.
She stopped and cupped a large red rose to her face. She inhaled the intoxicating scent.
‘They are most beautiful in the moonlight,’ Hugo’s voice said from behind her. ‘But their smell is strongest in the full afternoon sun.’
She started and moved away. ‘I did not know you were behind me.’
She did nothing to keep the accusatory tone from her words. She did not want him here. It was too painful.
He stretched his lips, showing white teeth. It was a predatory action. She took a step back and caught herself. She was not going to turn tail and run from him.
‘Why are you here, Hugo?’
He gazed at her, his eyes brooding. ‘Because of you, why else?’
‘Then leave. I don’t want you here.’
He closed the distance between them. ‘Don’t lie to me, Bell. Lie to yourself if you must, but not me.’
Her heart thumped painfully. ‘I am not lying.’ But she was.
He grabbed her upper arms and pulled her to his chest. ‘You want me here as badly as I want to be here.’
She stiffened and flattened her palms on his chest and pushed. She didn’t move an inch, he held her so tightly. ‘Have you been drinking?’
He laughed harshly. ‘A little. But that is not what runs hot in my blood.’
The moonlight turned his swarthy complexion sallow and accentuated the hollows of his cheeks. It made his eyes dark pools of passion and pain, his sensual mouth a slash of promised delights.
She drew a shaky breath. ‘Let me go, Hugo. This is not right.’
‘Right?’ His voice was hard. ‘What is right? My engagement to Elizabeth?’
‘No, but necessary,’ she said, her voice weaker than she liked. ‘You must pay the piper for your actions.’
‘Or another man’s,’ he said bitterly.
‘You can’t change the situation,’ she managed to say, through lips gone numb with pain. ‘You agreed to this marriage.’
He groaned, his fingers tightening until she knew she would have bruises the next day. ‘I have to, Bell. I couldn’t let her deliver a child out of wedlock.’
‘Why not?’ Even as she asked, she knew why. And she would have thought less of him if he had.
He set her away. ‘Because. Because as much as my father protected me, there were still the sly glances and quickly hushed words. My father loved me dearly, but I knew with a small boy’s insecurity that my father had not married my mother. I might be in much different circumstances if he had married and had another child sooner than he did. As it was, I was his only child for many years.’ He turned his back to her so she could barely hear him. ‘I would not do that to another child.’
‘Even though you do not love the mother?’ The words were a cry from her heart.
He rounded on her. ‘Even though I do not love Elizabeth. Can you understand?’
She nodded. The hurt he had inflicted did not keep her from understanding what he did and why he did it. But it didn’t make it easier to watch him and Elizabeth Mainwaring together either.
‘Yes,’ she sighed. ‘I can understand.’ He took a step toward her. She put her hand up. ‘Please, Hugo, no more. While I can understand, it still hurts. Please, leave me alone.’
She thought he would refuse, but then he bowed his head. ‘You are right. My pursuing you only makes it harder.’
‘Yes,’ she murmured.
Without another word, he left, taking her happiness with him. Something was
going to have to change. She couldn’t take much more of this. With feet that felt leaden, she made her way back to the veranda, her pleasure in the rose garden gone like it had never been. She climbed the shallow steps and saw a shadow moving, sensed another person.
‘Lady Fenwick-Clyde?’ Elizabeth Mainwaring’s rich, honeyed voice penetrated the darkness of the veranda.
Annabell faced the other woman. ‘Yes, Lady Mainwaring?’
For an instant only, she pondered the inanity of them calling each other by their titles, given to them by men now no longer living. Still, the formalities provided distance that she, for one, sorely needed. This was the woman who had taken Hugo from her. Plain and simple, nothing more, nothing less. She took a deep breath and wished it did not feel as though her throat was closed.
‘I would like to speak with you. If you have a minute.’
Annabell considered her answer. The last person she wanted to talk with was the woman in front of her. Yet, she could not blame Lady Mainwaring without also laying blame on the woman’s partner—Hugo. He had been an active participant in their liaison. While society might wink and turn away from Hugo’s involvement, she would not—could not.
‘What do you wish to say?’ Annabell finally said, suddenly tired beyond imagining.
Lady Mainwaring stopped when she was close enough for her lowered voice to reach Annabell. The full moon sparked off her pale blonde hair and made her skin appear like the finest Limoges porcelain. Her eyes sparkled like sapphires. She was a very beautiful woman.
No wonder Hugo had taken her for his mistress. He was a connoisseur of female beauty even though he had erred when he chose her for his latest dalliance. He had said she was beautiful to him. That had been enough for her.
Pain, tight and breathtaking, took her. She had thought herself past this. She had thought her independence would be enough. Had she been wrong?
‘This is not easy.’ Hugo’s future wife kept her voice low.
Elizabeth Mainwaring’s sensual alto penetrated Annabell’s agony. She forced herself to let go of what had been. The woman before her was Hugo’s past and his future, not her.
An Unconventional Widow Page 21