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Suspended Page 19

by Taryn Elliott


  “Lay it on me.”

  “Good sex can color the whole world in sparkles and fairy dust. Wait until the sparkle fades before you own up to love and babies and forever. Sometimes the fairy dust is just a good orgasm.”

  “I must be covered in fairy dust.”

  Evelyn guffawed and slapped her back. “From head to toe, kid.”

  Kendall slammed the lid on the box again. It wasn’t time to take New York out of its box and look at it too closely yet. “I think I’m going to enjoy my Tinker Bell status for a bit.”

  “I don’t blame you. I’ve seen your boy, and he looks like he’d be very good with the, um…fairy dust.”

  Kendall’s lips twitched. “He’d kill me if he heard the analogy.”

  “I have a feeling you know your way around his growly nature.”

  For some things she did. And other ways, she wasn’t sure how she’d ever reach him.

  Chapter Twelve

  Kendall flexed her tight shoulders and slammed a hook into each end of the hay bale so she could load it into the large cart. She sawed down the sides until the straps snapped and loosened the whorls of golden straw. She repeated the process six more times until she had a massive pile ready for the yearlings and colts. She hopped into the little tractor and slapped it into gear.

  Day three and she was finally getting the hang of her small chores. She hadn’t been delegated to mucking out the stalls, but she had a feeling that had more to do with Shane’s station in the pecking order this week than anything she was doing on Doyle’s horse farm.

  She hadn’t seen Shane for more than a few minutes in the evening before he poured himself into the shower and bed, returning at daybreak to do it all over again. Most nights he stayed down at the barracks with the other workers, checking in on her between whatever projects he was working on.

  Keeping busy had been the deal of the day for her since the first night. She understood that he wanted to wrap up the job as quickly as possible, but with each day that passed, it was becoming clearer that her fantasy was falling apart. She avoided her mother’s calls and didn’t have it in her to talk to Bells about her situation.

  She worked herself into exhaustion just so she didn’t have to analyze whatever it was between her and Shane. Cross-country sexathon, fling, or was it more? She couldn’t lie to herself anymore.

  It was more for her.

  Was she deluding herself? They’d known each other for little more than a week, and already she felt more for him than she had any other man in her life. Was it just fairy dust like Evelyn said, or was it that once-in-a-lifetime connection that everyone looked for?

  She dumped the feeding station into the middle of the pasture and waved to Evelyn, who was putting Porthos through his paces. Besides the baby foal, Porthos was her favorite horse. The ring created in the paddock was filled with jumping fences and agility barrels. She hooked her arms over the sun-bleached fence around the perimeter.

  This was her favorite part of the day. With three days under her belt, she still marveled at the horses’ grace and beauty. Not to mention she had a healthy respect for the fact that most of them towered over her.

  “Beautiful, aren’t they?” A man’s voice came from over her shoulder.

  Kendall smiled. “He’s going to be one helluva show horse.”

  The man leaned against the post and definitely hadn’t gotten the memo about invading a woman’s personal space. “I can show you how to ride.”

  She kept her smile in place but focused her attention on Evelyn and the barrels she raced around. “Evelyn already gave me a few lessons.”

  “Ah. She’s a damn good rider. I could take you for a ride out to the meadow, maybe have some lunch. I’m Lon Mackie, by the way.”

  “No, thanks.” She gave him a sideways glance. “You’re on Shane’s crew, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Thought so.” And she’d seen him watching her when she went in to visit Shane during her midday break. “I’m sure Shane keeps you too busy for a picnic.”

  “Work is never more important than a pretty girl.”

  Kendall arched her brow. “I’m sure another woman would be very happy to hear that.”

  “But not you?”

  She jumped down from the fence. “Not me.” She peered up at the tall man. He was still handsome, but she had a feeling he’d been truly devastating before ten years of liquor and cigarettes had done their damage. There were dozens of Lons in Bradley.

  “I’m entitled to an hour off with the overtime I’ve been putting in.”

  “And I’m sure you can find someone to do that with.”

  He leaned in again, and she took a step back. “Slim pickings around here.”

  She shielded her eyes and squinted up at him. “Oh, yeah? That makes me want to go all the more.”

  “Now, I didn’t mean it like that, Kendall. I can call you Kendall, right?”

  She ducked under the rail and glanced over her shoulder. “It’s very sweet of you to ask, but I’m not interested.”

  “I’m not good enough for you, city girl?”

  She stopped and stared. “I’m sort of with someone, Mr. Mackie.”

  “Sort of means you’re available. And call me Lon.”

  There’d been no talk of exclusivity with Shane, and yet just the idea of him with someone else made her stomach churn. “I…”

  “Come on, what could it hurt? I know how to have fun, unlike that uptight—” He shrugged and gave her a lopsided smile. “Let’s just say I’m a helluva lot more fun. We could go out after my shift is over. We may be working overtime, but I don’t have to be here all night.”

  “No, thanks, really.”

  “It’s not just me. You gotta be bored staying at the big house. There’s a bunch of us that go out. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m harmless.”

  About as harmless as bees around a hive. He had his heels dug in, and it was easier to make him think her answer was maybe. “I’ll think about it.”

  His blue eyes sparkled. “Great. That’s all I’m asking. We’ll be at Starrla’s on Main Street.”

  “All right.”

  “Great. Don’t forget now.”

  “I won’t.” She strode along the edges of the ring to stay out of the way, waving to Evelyn to let her know she was in the paddock. “See you later, Lon.”

  Fielding the attentions of the men on Shane’s crew was getting to be a full-time job. And Shane was far too busy to notice. She knew how to walk the line between friendly and showing interest. Lon might require her rude card if he got any more aggressive. She didn’t like to pull that out unless it was absolutely necessary.

  Evelyn patted Porthos’s neck and grinned down at her. “Lon sniffing around?”

  “Like I’m in heat, for heaven’s sake.”

  “Well, as far as he’s concerned, you are. He’s persistent. Harmless but persistent.”

  Porthos snuffed at Kendall’s shoulder, nibbling on her ponytail until she tucked it up on top of her head. “I keep telling you I’m not food.”

  “You smell like apples.”

  “Is that what it is?”

  “Evidently he likes your shampoo.”

  Kendall patted his nose. “I don’t mind when you flirt with me, big guy.”

  “He’s not giving you any trouble, is he?”

  “No. Lon’s one of those guys not used to a no. I can handle him. I just don’t want Shane to catch on.”

  “Why?”

  A flash of his possessive kiss after her first day in the stables came back to her. “Things between Shane and I are a little complicated.”

  Evelyn swung her leg off the horse’s saddle and dropped to the ground. She ran a gentling hand along Porthos’s neck. “Now we’re getting interesting.”

  “No, Shane and I are less than interesting.”

  “So you keep telling me.” She clucked at Porthos and led him into the shade of the stable and uncinched his buckles.

  Ken
dall went around to the other side of the horse. They were getting into a routine, and every day Evelyn bugged her for details. And each day she had no idea what to say. “We’re sex and no entanglements, and we like it that way.”

  “That only works for so long.”

  “We have until we get to New York.”

  The saddle slid toward Evelyn, and she hefted it with ease. She slapped it in its holder. “Wait, what?”

  Kendall cringed. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

  “Yes, I think you did.”

  No, she really hadn’t. Crap. “It’s complicated. If I tried to explain it to you, there would be more questions.”

  “I’m good at complicated.”

  Kendall snorted. “No, you’re not. You like simple. That’s why you like horses better than people.”

  “You”—Evelyn pointed a finger at her—“are way too perceptive. But I really am good at complications. I just don’t choose to get involved most of the time.”

  “Why would you get involved with me, then?”

  “Because I like you.”

  Kendall choked out a laugh and sniffed at the same time. She tipped her head back to stop the sudden tears. She was good until Evelyn had shown honest concern. There were so few people in her life she’d allowed to get close enough to notice when she was having a bad day.

  “But if there are tears, then we don’t get to talk anymore.”

  Kendall flipped a bucket and plopped down on it. “Crying doesn’t solve anything. I’m just breaking the cardinal rule of a fling.” She sniffed again and patted her eyes with the backs of her hands. “I always sucked at rules.”

  “Ah, so this wasn’t supposed to be anything serious with Oscar?”

  Kendall couldn’t help a small smile. Everyone had taken to her nickname for Shane. He was stern with the men and didn’t try to make friends. It was his job to be the hammer, and he was good at it.

  And she ached for that smile that was imperceptible to anyone but her.

  “We’re business partners—though it doesn’t seem like it. Thanks to a ridiculous will, Shane and I are co-owners in a bed-and-breakfast. The plan was to make it across the country and figure out if we’re going to sell the house and split the profits or run the place together.”

  “That sounds very clinical for something that can’t possibly be that simple.”

  “It’s not. God, even saying it out loud sounds ludicrous.”

  Evelyn crouched in front of her. “Just tell me, honey.”

  She hadn’t told anyone, hadn’t really faced just how much change there would be when they got to Bradley. She’d been so stupid to think she could go on having a fun road trip with him when she got home and everything in her life would change.

  Maybe she really did think she could convince him to share the B and B and start a life.

  Maybe she was an idiot.

  “My father died a few weeks ago.”

  “Oh, honey.” Evelyn covered her hands. Kendall relaxed under her touch.

  “It hurt Shane more than it affected me. Lawrence hadn’t been my father since I was five. But he raised Shane like a son.”

  Evelyn stood and pushed a bucket of water in front of her. “We’ll rub down Porthos, and you can tell me everything.”

  Kendall nodded. “My father left when I was a kid. I never knew why, just that he up and left one day. And then it was just me and my mom.” She’d been young enough that adjusting hadn’t changed her life, and missing Larry had faded over time.

  Doing something so mundane helped. The smooth muscles and warmth of the horse evened her out. They hosed Porthos down and moved on to brushing his coat.

  “So I lived my life, and my father left the house to me and my mom. And eventually we made it into a bed-and-breakfast to help with bills. We had all this land right on the lake. It just made sense.”

  “If I didn’t hate people, I’d agree with you.”

  Kendall laughed and relaxed a little more. “My mother loves being around people. And I’ve learned to enjoy it. After ten years it’s all I know.”

  “I sense a but.”

  The sounds of brushing filled the silence. How did she explain that her mother had loved an undeserving man? That Lily’s heart was the reason change was coming like an uninvited guest. Was she destined to revisit the same mistakes because she was probably mistaking passion for growing feelings?

  Another Justice was changing her life.

  Every day she’d spent with Shane made her want more. The sex and the excitement were enough at first. But now she ached with missing him. She stared at the ceiling each night. She worked herself into exhaustion, hoping that she’d drop into sleep, but her body and her heart longed to curl into his reassuring warmth. The need to pull a smile out of his serious face was more tempting than thinking about the future.

  She was ignoring the facts.

  He didn’t want forever. As much as she hoped he would want to become her partner so that she could keep the Heron, he was probably going to want the money. This was his chance to start over. The fantasy of seeing him in the B and B with her was just that—a fantasy.

  The deep brown of Porthos’s coat blurred. She’d been doing her level best to hold on to the days and create a precious time separate from Bradley, but the reality was leaking into the fantasy.

  “My mother loved my father too much. Even when he didn’t love her back. She never moved on. She never took Larry’s name off the deed to the house. When he died, the only thing left was my house, and everything was split between me and Shane.”

  “So wait, he’s not your brother, but he’s got rights to the house?”

  “Lawrence adopted Shane, raised him as his own.”

  “And now you have to share the house with him?”

  Kendall nodded. “I love the Heron. It’s been nice to be away and see the country, to be with Shane. Everything’s going to change when we get to Bradley.”

  “So what are you afraid of?”

  “That he’ll just want to sell it and walk away.” She swiped at her wet cheeks with the heel of her hand. “I don’t want him to walk away.”

  Evelyn came around and leaned into the horse’s neck, absently patting his broad face as she gave Kendall her undivided attention. “From you or the house?”

  The concern in Evelyn’s voice killed whatever was left of her resolve. “I’m afraid it’s both. And it’s stupid to think that way. We’ve only known each other for a little over a week. I’ve got to be confusing my feelings with the afterglow of great—and I do mean great—sex.”

  “What about him?”

  “Where’s the advice jar?” Kendall forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat. This felt like a therapy session. No more tears. She would not let a Justice make her cry again.

  Evelyn’s steady, dark gaze bored into hers. “Don’t avoid the question, Kendall.”

  “I don’t know. I really don’t. From the moment we got near each other, it’s been like this.”

  “All sex and no talking?”

  She could feel the flush crawling up her neck and flooding her cheeks. High emotions and lust were a terrible combination. She and Shane barely knew how to talk to each other. And she was deluding herself to think they could be anything more than a fling.

  Even if being with him felt more right than anything had ever felt before.

  Porthos nudged her shoulder; his peach-fuzz-soft lips snuffed at her ear. “We’re good at the sex part, but these few days without him being around, it makes me wonder if there’s anything else between us.”

  “I can’t answer that for you, but relationships have been started on less. You’re what? Twenty-something?”

  “Twenty-seven.”

  “Huh.” Evelyn grinned at her. “I was going to say twenty-four. But that’s good. You’re not so young that you don’t know what you want. I was fucking stupid at twenty-four.”

  “I’ve been running the Heron since I was sixteen.”

 
; “Oh, honey. You’ve never been a kid.”

  She shrugged. “No, and that’s why I was trying to have fun with this trip. Hell, I even went to college near home. This is the first time I’ve ever been away for more than a weekend.”

  “Maybe selling the Heron wouldn’t be a bad thing. Set your mom up in a cute little house, and go travel. In fact, I’d take you here in a heartbeat. You’re a natural with the horses.”

  Kendall straightened. “You would?”

  “I would. I love having you around.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Just know that you have options.”

  Kendall nodded slowly. “Thanks.”

  “I have to put this big baby back in his stall. I’ll see you up at the house?”

  “Yes. I need to get cleaned up.”

  “A bunch of us are going to Starrla’s. You should come.”

  “Wow, there are people actually going? I thought that was just a line that Lon was feeding me.”

  Evelyn laughed. “It’s the only place to go, really. I feel like dancing tonight.”

  “Maybe I will.” She stroked Porthos’s neck one last time, then headed toward the new stables. The whir of a skill saw and the echoing snap of the nail gun almost made her turn around. Her head was already slamming from being out in the sun too long.

  A coating of hay dust made her itchy, and all she wanted to do was pop a few ibuprofens and stand under the shower spray for an hour, but she hadn’t seen Shane all day.

  She liked seeing how much the space transformed from the morning through the afternoon. The crew worked hard, and despite Shane’s growly nature, she spotted him smiling at the top of a set of scaffolding outside the stables. With a blowtorch in his hand?

  “You’re not going to burn down this almost perfect establishment, are you, Oscar?”

  He smiled down at her, his teeth a slash of white against the grime on his face. A sweat-soaked black tank hugged his chest and tight abs. Battered jeans hung low on his hips with a heavy leather belt keeping everything in check. Too bad. She liked the dimples just above his truly spectacular ass.

  He dragged his leather-clad hand across the toasted wood. “Just accenting some carving.”

  “Is it safe to come up?”

 

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