He smiled again and nodded politely, but looked uncomfortable.
“We’ll be next door,” Sebastian said to me.
Then he steered Atash into the kitchen, where I heard him filling the kettle to make the horribly sweet tea that was traditional in Afghanistan, while they chatted away.
“What language is that, Lee?” said Alice. “Is that Arabic?”
“No, that’s Dari. Sebastian says it’s related to Persian not Arabic. He speaks Pashto, too,” I added, proudly.
They looked suitably surprised, and I was pleased that Sebastian had had a chance to impress them with something other than his looks – or his hot temper. I knew that had been bothering him.
“With those language skills, I’m surprised Military Intelligence didn’t snap him up,” continued Alice.
I didn’t answer, but couldn’t meet her eyes.
“Oh,” she said, knowingly, and swapped a look laden with significance with the others.
And then I heard Sebastian’s laughter coming from the kitchen: a long, loud, joyous laugh. I thought my heart would stop.
“Lee, are you okay?” said Jenna anxiously. “You look…”
“Sebastian’s laughing.” I could hear the tremor in my own voice.
“Oh, honey,” said Alice, giving my arm a squeeze.
“You’re doing okay, Venzi,” said Nicole, formerly Sebastian’s harshest critic. “I think you’re both doing okay.”
Atash left soon after, hurrying out of the door, smiling shyly.
“What was all that about?” I said, thrilled to see that Sebastian was grinning broadly.
“Atash wanted to know if I needed some hashish,” he said casually.
Jenna and Alice looked slightly shocked, and Nicole frowned.
“Excuse me?” I said, sharply. “I hope you said ‘no’.”
Sebastian shrugged. “He said it’s good for pain.”
I noticed Sebastian hadn’t answered me directly, and he so wasn’t getting away with an excuse like that – but it was a conversation to have in private.
“And what else?” I said, eyeing him curiously. “What aren’t you telling me, Hunter?”
Sebastian’s grin became wider.
“He was wondering why I was making the tea when I’ve got four wives to do it.”
My mouth dropped open, and Nicole snorted with laughter.
“Well, I hope you put him straight! Sebastian?”
He grinned wickedly.
God, I’d missed that smile.
“I’ll put him straight, Caro. Eventually.”
Jenna started to laugh and then Nicole joined in. Soon we were all laughing our asses off. Damn, it felt good.
“You and I will have words later, Hunter,” I said, in a threatening voice.
“Looking forward to it, baby,” he said, still grinning at me.
After Atash’s visit, we moved outside to sit in my yard, enjoying the nice weather. I’d dug out an old sundress to wear, and had the pleasure of watching Sebastian’s eyes drift up and down my legs. I hitched my skirt slightly higher and raised an eyebrow at him, as his eyes followed my movement and he ran the tip of his tongue over his lips.
“Oh, just stop it, you two,” Nicole groaned. “I haven’t been laid in months and you’re wafting all this sexual tension around. It’s so unfair.”
Alice laughed at her. “Lee got lucky – and it isn’t like she hasn’t put in more than her fair share of waiting over the years,” she pointed out. “Besides, I’ve decided to give up on men: I’m going down the B.O.B. route.”
I could see Sebastian was puzzled.
“Battery-operated boyfriend,” I whispered in his ear.
He smirked at me and sat back to listen. I could see he was intrigued, watching me with my friends, seeing a different side to me.
Alice nodded.
“No offence, Sebastian, but men just take up too much energy. Or maybe it’s just the men I meet. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to dinner parties and listened to them droning on about football, or fishing, or how damn important they are at work. One even gave me a blow-by-blow description of building a model airplane. I mean, come on!”
Jenna agreed.
“Although maybe it’s just men our age: we should do what Lee has done and find ourselves some younger guys.”
“I’d definitely recommend it,” I said, winking at Sebastian, whose eyes were flicking between Alice and Jenna so quickly, he looked as if he was watching a table tennis match.
He grinned at me, while Alice continued.
“Well, I’m a bit out of practice now, I admit it, but food has some serious advantages over sex.”
I laughed out loud, and Nicole told her she was talking bullshit.
“I’m serious!” she said, ticking off the points on her fingers. “Eating: you can do it every day, at least three times a day, with snacks in between; you can do it with as many people as you want, of any gender, and you don’t have to worry about their sexual orientation; there are more good recipes and restaurants than hot, available men around – and believe me, I’ve done some research on this; I’m not going to get pregnant or STDs by eating ice cream; and, best of all, even if you gorge yourself with different people every time, no one calls you a slut.”
“You’re just a food slut!” yelled Jenna.
“We should ask Sebastian’s opinion,” said Nicole. “Where do you stand on the whole food versus sex thing?”
“Nic,” I said, knowing she was deliberately baiting him.
But Sebastian didn’t need my help.
“Caro’s a great cook,” he said, smiling at me. Then he whispered in my ear so no one else could hear him, “but I think you feed me well because you know I’ll need my energy later.”
“Ugh!” shouted Jenna. “I know you just said something really hot,” she accused Sebastian. “It’s so mean of him, Lee! Come on, you could at least tell us what he said.”
I shook my head. “Need to know basis, Jenna, and you don’t need to know.”
Sebastian grinned, not looking the least embarrassed. I was relieved: sometimes my friends could be a real handful.
After a couple of hours, I could tell he was getting tired. He was moving awkwardly, and I knew that sitting so long was hurting him.
“Why don’t you go take a nap, tesoro,” I said, quietly. “We’ll just be yakking out here for a while. You’ve more than done your part.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Of course not. Just take care of yourself and rest.”
He smiled. “Okay, but wake me up before they go?”
“You really want some more?” I said, pretending to be shocked.
“They’re okay,” he said, smiling. “They really care about you, Caro. That’s all that matters.”
He made his apologies and left us alone outside. I knew their evaluation of him would be offered up any second.
Nicole weighed in first.
“Well, he’s even hotter in the flesh, Lee; hot-tempered, too.”
“Both are equally true,” I agreed.
“You guys look good together,” said Jenna, thoughtfully. “I must admit I had my doubts, but it’s obvious he adores you. Hell, that’s as good a start as any.”
Alice nodded. “He needs to find a new direction, Lee. He’s not the kind of man who can just sit around.”
“I know, but it’s still new. I’m not going to rush him. I’m just enjoying having him home and seeing him getting stronger.”
“So when do you think you’ll be getting married?” said Alice
“No, don’t encourage her!” whined Nicole. “This is baaaad. Where are we going to go to ogle hot surfer guys?”
“You can still come here,” I said, laughing.
“What? And ogle your husband? That’s just plain weird!”
“That’s not what I meant at all, and you know it, Nicole! Look, you guys are my friends – you’ll always be welcome here.”
Nicole rubb
ed her hands together. “Well, I’m going to enjoy making you shop, Lee: get you out of your damn jeans for a change, although I see you’ve made an effort today.”
I smiled at her. “Nope, no shopping.”
“What?”
“I’m not turning into one of those Bridezillas: it’ll just be you three and Sebastian’s friends from San Diego. My friend Marc said he’d try and fly in, depending on the date. We’re going to see if we can get October 2nd – it’ll be Sebastian’s 28th birthday.”
“Oh, God! Twenty-eight,” sighed Alice. “That sounds so young! Oh well, at least he won’t be able to forget your anniversary.”
The girls were just getting ready to leave, and I was wondering whether or not to let Sebastian carry on sleeping, when he screamed loudly again and again, a chilling, heart-rending sound.
Alice jumped and Nicole swore, but I was already on my feet and running.
Sebastian was thrashing around, his face contorted, his body covered in sweat. I shook him awake urgently.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.”
He clung to me, his breath shuddering in his chest.
“It’s alright, Sebastian, it’s going to be alright, tesoro.”
“Fuck, Caro,” he gasped. “I keep seeing…”
“I know, baby, I know.”
He covered his eyes with trembling hands. “I can’t go out there, Caro. I can’t see them like this.”
“You don’t have to. Stay here, I’ll see them off. Two minutes, tesoro.”
In the yard, my friends were sitting staring at the backdoor as I came out.
“Jesus, Lee! What the hell was that?” Nicole asked for them all.
“He was blown up, Nic – three people died in front of him, men he worked with. He gets nightmares.”
“Are you sure you know what you’re taking on?” said Jenna, quietly.
I shrugged. “I love him.”
I could see the concern in their eyes and Alice offered to stay, but I needed to be alone with Sebastian. I promised I’d be in touch.
When I went back to our room, the bed was empty and I could hear the shower running. Sebastian was leaning against the tiles, his hands outstretched, and the water pouring down over his head.
I pulled off my clothes, and walked into the shower behind him. He turned, and wrapped his arms around me, and we stood together, letting his fear wash away.
The next day Sebastian was in a foul mood. He was embarrassed that my friends had seen, or rather heard him, at his most vulnerable, and he blamed me. When I’d had enough of his sulking, I went for a long walk on the beach, and took my time sipping an espresso at a café on the boardwalk.
After a couple of hours to myself, I felt ready to go home and face whatever emotional grenades he’d be tossing at me today.
I think he must have been watching out of the window, because when I walked in, he was waiting by the door.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he said, pulling me in for a hug and kissing my hair. “I know I’m being a dumb-ass.”
“That’s one of the words I had in mind.”
He smiled. “Yeah, I bet. Hey, I’ve got something to show you.”
He took my hand and tugged me into the living room.
“What’s that?”
A beautiful, red cedar Spanish guitar was lying on the coffee table.
“Your friend Nicole dropped by.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, apparently you told her I wanted to learn guitar. She said she didn’t need this, so she’s given it to me. We talked for quite a long time – seeing as I’d pissed you off and you weren’t here…”
He arched an eyebrow.
I decided to ignore that comment.
“Nicole isn’t quite the ball-breaker you thought she was?”
“I didn’t say that… but she was… okay.”
“Praise indeed.”
“Yeah,” he said, with a smile. Then he paused. “Baby, when did I tell you I wanted to play guitar?”
“A long time ago,” I said, softly. “Ten years ago.”
He stared down at me, his eyes filled with love.
“You take my breath away, Caro.”
He pulled me into a tight hug and I stood there drinking him in. He kissed my hair, nuzzling me softly.
“Oh, hey. You got mail.”
He let go of me and reached over to pass me an envelope that had been tossed onto the table.
“On a Sunday?”
“Yeah, it went to Mrs. Levenson’s house by mistake; she just got back from her grandson’s today and she brought it over.”
I turned the envelope over, looking at the sender’s address.
“It’s from England.”
I frowned. I didn’t know anyone in England – not any more.
I tore open the thick, parchment-type envelope and read the typewritten letter. As I took in the meaning, I couldn’t help gasping with surprise.
Sebastian looked concerned. “What is it, baby?”
I slumped down onto the couch, and handed him the letter without speaking.
“Lawyers?”
He sat down next to me and read through the pages.
When he’d finished, he set the letter down and wrapped his good arm around me, pulling me against his chest.
“I didn’t know,” I whispered. “She never said anything. I knew Liz didn’t have any family, but I never thought…”
“It’s a lot of money, baby. What are you going to do with it?”
I shook my head. I was still trying to process the information.
The letter was from Dougal and Bright, Liz’s lawyers. She’d named me in her Will and had left me everything – her entire estate. She hadn’t owned much, but her small apartment in north London was worth over $550,000.
“Why did she leave it to me? We were friends, but… I don’t understand.”
“What don’t you understand, Caro? She loved you. Why do you always have a hard time realizing that, baby?”
I shrugged.
“This is good news,” he said, stroking my hair. “Out of all of this shit, it’s something good.”
“I know. It’s just… so unexpected.”
He hesitated before he spoke again. “It’ll pay off your mortgage: you wouldn’t have to work overseas… if you didn’t want to…”
I knew what he was trying to say, but I couldn’t make a decision like that here and now.
“Anyway, it’s our money,” I said quietly.
Sebastian shook his head angrily.
“I’m not going to take your fucking money, Caro!”
I placed my hand over his mouth, cutting off his stormy words.
“I mean it, Sebastian. Either we’re in this together, or we’re not. If you won’t accept it, then I won’t accept it. I’ll give it to the Journalism Without Borders charity before I let this money come between us. You said yourself we deserved some good luck.”
He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
“She didn’t even like me, Caro. There’s no way she’d want me to have anything to do with your inheritance. Hell, as far as she was concerned, I was just fucking you for something to do and…”
“You’re wrong. She knew all about us.”
His rant ground to a halt; he looked stunned.
“She did?”
“Of course. I told her everything – and I told her we were going to get married.”
Sebastian leaned back and stared at me. “You told her? Everything?”
“Yes, tesoro.”
He scratched his eyebrow thoughtfully. “What did she say?”
I gave him a small smile. “She wanted to know if you were as good in bed as she’d heard.”
I thought he was going to choke, but then I saw a wicked gleam in his eye. “And what did you say?”
I gave him a prim look. “Nothing, of course… although…”
“Although what?”
“I may have winked at her.”
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