by D. Kelly
As his voice trails off, his chin rubbing becomes constant.
“But what? What are you thinking?”
“Well, that last text said she paid your parents off. I’m not sure what she paid them off for but that could be the likely cause for her issues with you lately.”
“What are we going to do, Zack?”
“We’re going to love each other until the day we die. That’s what we’re going to do. Whatever this issue my mom has is, she’ll get over it. And if she doesn’t, it’s her loss. She’s my mom. She did her job and raised me to be the kind of man who makes his own decisions and doesn’t back down. You’re my future, Cassidy, end of story.”
His lips crash onto mine with a lot more force than our first date and I don’t know if it’s the effects of his words or the fact that I almost lost him, but my body needs to be close to his. Without breaking the kiss, I fling my leg across the couch and straddle him. My hands immediately work their way into his wavy, jet black hair and I cry out in ecstasy.
I feel his erection growing against my heat as his arms wrap around me and pull me closer. After a few minutes of practically fucking through our clothes, he pulls away from me. As gently as he can, he pulls me off of him, stands, and begins pacing. I’m trying not to feel hurt but I do. Zack’s never pulled away from me before, not ever.
While he paces, I pull my feet up and tuck my chin into my knees and watch him. Eventually, he notices how hurt I am by his actions and drops to his knees in front of me. After prying my legs open and situating himself in-between them, he hugs me close and whispers in my ear.
“I’ve never wanted you more than I want you right now. We’re taking this one day at a time, though, and today is a day for innocent and maybe some not so innocent kisses. We can’t take this further until it’s time. You need to trust me, okay?”
His eyes are pleading with mine to understand him. And I do.
“Okay,” I reply, placing a tender kiss on the tip of his nose. “Just innocent kisses… for now.”
“Thank you for being agreeable. Now, not to put a damper on this date, but I need to make some calls and you need to call Rylee.”
Releasing a sigh, I weigh my options. I don’t want to turn on my phone because then I’ll have to see their texts and listen to Zack’s messages from yesterday. I already know how much I hurt him but I really don’t want to have to hear it.
“Hey,” he says, tilting my chin up to meet his eyes. “No matter what is on your phone, it doesn’t matter. I’m here and we’re together. Besides, I didn’t leave you any sad messages or any mad ones yesterday. I was hurt and I was worried, but I also knew I was coming after you so there’s nothing on there you need to fear. At least not from me.”
Feeling as if a weight has been lifted from my chest, I give him a small smile. “Okay, let’s go get this over with so we can enjoy the rest of our day.”
Zack gave me a kiss on the forehead and went downstairs to talk to Pete and make some calls. Within a few minutes, he came back up and dropped off my purse so I could call Rylee. Guess he doesn’t want me putting it off. I can’t, anyway. I know Zack told Rylee he’s here but she won’t be happy until she talks to me herself.
After powering on my phone and listening to all the notifications ding, I make myself comfortable in one of the reading chairs and look out the window. Once the notifications stop, I scroll through all the missed calls and text messages. Other than the last message from Priscilla, there is nothing further from her. There are multiple messages from Ry freaking out on me but most of them are just her being worried about me and begging me to call her.
Zack’s messages are simple and strong—mostly telling me to call him and letting me know how worried he was. Reading them makes me feel awful. Knowing how much pain I caused him yesterday is just another reminder I need to grow stronger for him. I’ve been selfish and he’s been wonderful. It’s time for me to be the woman he needs.
Time to pay the piper. I pull up Rylee on speed dial and hit ‘talk.’ I don’t even think the phone completes one ring before she’s screaming in my ear.
“Cassidy! Oh my god! It’s about time! Where are you? Are you okay? Is Zack with you? Babe, why did you run away? Everybody was so worried.”
I can’t help letting out a laugh with all the questions she’s throwing at me.
“Cassidy, this isn’t funny! I was really scared, you should have called me.” I can hear her pout through the phone.
“I’m sorry, Rylee, really. I just couldn’t bring myself to turn my phone on. I couldn’t bear seeing how much I hurt Zack.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Rylee’s tone is now calm and soothing. “Don’t you get it yet? You just can’t run away from my brother. He’s the most romantic person I’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter what you do to him, he’ll always find you.”
As I try to hold back more tears, I sniffle. “This is the last time, Ry. I’ve got to get my shit together, I’ve got to face my demons. He said he won’t follow me anymore. It’s hurting him too much. I’m breaking his heart because I can’t let him in.”
“Well,” she hedges and then plows straight ahead, “he’s not the only one you won’t let in. Maybe it’s time he put his foot down and I should do the same. We’ve been best friends for twenty-one years and you’ve never confided in me as to why your home life is a mess. You know every single one of my secrets, Cassidy, and I don’t know the biggest of yours.”
She’s right.
“Rylee.” I’m scared. I’ve always been strong enough to want to deal with this on my own. “Letting out all these secrets is likely to break my psyche. I’m doing it because I love you both and it’s far past time. But when I’m broken, the two of you have to put me back together. Deal?”
With a gasp—as she realizes I’m finally going to confide in her—she agrees. “Deal.”
“When my grandma died, the year before we moved into her house, my dad started to change. He became distant and started getting upset easily. At first, my mom and I tiptoed around him. She said he was sad because his mom died and went to heaven. Finally, he told her he thought he would be better if we moved back to his childhood home. She was reluctant but finally gave in because she missed her husband. We’d only been there a few weeks when I met you and Zack.”
“Go on,” she encourages me gently when I pause to gather my strength.
“The reason why Zack had you come introduce yourself was because the day before he saw my dad beating me with a belt.”
“Cassidy, no!” she exclaims in shock.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Ry, but I was so ashamed and embarrassed. The beatings continued for over ten years until the night Zack and I got mugged. We weren’t mugged, Ry, it was my father.”
“That son of a bitch!” she bites out, but I can hear her crying.
“It’s not even the beatings that were the worst part. With each one… he… he told me with each hit that I was unlovable, unworthy, that love didn’t exist, and that men only want women for sex but their hearts are never on the table.”
Oh God, I can’t believe I just told her all of that. Both of us are sobbing now.
“You know that’s not true, don’t you? Cassidy, please, babe, tell me you know that’s not true!”
“I’m working through it, Ry. My mind knows it’s not true and my heart feels it’s not true but I’ve built up walls over the years so I wouldn’t be hurt. I’m realizing I’ve hurt myself more by having my guard up than I would have if I had just let Zack all the way inside in the first place.”
“How are you so calm about this? I want to drive down the street and plow his ass down with my car. And what about your mom? How did she not save you from him?” She’s so angry. Rylee and Zack guard their loved ones so fiercely. They get that trait from Priscilla.
“When I was six, I overheard a conversation and I didn’t understand it. As I got older, I heard bits and pieces of comments between my parents. I’ll never excuse what he did to m
e, not ever, but from what I’ve pieced together, he was molested by his mother as he was growing up.”
“Holy shit!” she exclaims loudly. “Does Zack know that?”
“No, he doesn’t, but I will tell him.”
“So moving back into that house brought all those horrible memories back to him,” she replies softly.
“I think so. My mom didn’t handle any of it very well. At least, in the beginning, she would try and make me comfortable after he hit me. But she never once tried to stop it from happening. Eventually, I think it became too much for her to deal with. Her drinking started not too long after my beatings did. They started sleeping in different rooms and still do, as far as I know. It’s like after finding out what happened in that house she couldn’t be with him anymore. Once the beatings started, she lost her ability for affection all the way around.”
“Wow. How do you ever begin to get over something like that? Oh shit, Cassidy, I’m sorry. That wasn’t meant toward you. Damn.”
Rylee is still crying and choked up. I don’t blame her; what she’s asking isn’t something I haven’t asked myself a million times.
“It’s okay, Ry. I really don’t know. I guess the obvious answer is you don’t, especially when you put yourself back into the same circumstances and relive it in your mind again and again. I’m sure he felt unloved or was maybe told the same as he told me. It’s a vicious cycle I’d never want my kids exposed to.” And there it is. My biggest fear. Will I be able to keep my children safe from my own demons?
“You listen to me, Cassidy Pope soon to be Stafford. You are nothing like your parents. Eighty percent of your childhood was spent at my house, anyway. Your spirit is full of love and light and it shows in the way you treat everyone around you, including your students. You need to work all this out with a therapist. Your dad should have manned the fuck up and done that the minute his mom died. He didn’t ever touch you, did he? He didn’t molest you?”
She’s waiting for the answer with baited breath.
“No, he didn’t. He never took it that far.”
“Oh, thank goodness.”
“So, what is the plan? Are you and Zack working things out? Will there be another wedding?” Rylee’s moods are so mercurial, it’s hilarious. You’d never know she was crying a few minutes ago as excited as she sounds right now.
“All I know is we’re spending two weeks here and we’re trying to work things out. Today, he recreated our first date.”
“Awww, that’s adorable.”
“Yeah, it was really sweet.”
She exhales loudly and I know that sound—there’s something she needs to talk about.
“So now that I know my brother is going to sweep you off your feet and slay your demons, I need your help.”
Now this is something I can get on board with. I need to take my mind off myself and focus it somewhere else.
“What’s going on, Ry? Talk to me.”
“I slept with Nick again,” she says in a rush.
“Again, Ry? If Zack finds out, he’ll kill him!” This is so not good.
“I know,” she whines dramatically.
The last time the two of them slept together we were in high school. It was a very significant night for all of us. It was the night Angelica tried to convince Zack she would be his mistress. Ugh. Whoever heard of a mistress in high school, anyway? It was also the night Nick and I finally admitted our love for each other.
Zack and I walk up the stairs from the basketball court and into the backyard. He was right, the party is over and I couldn’t be more thankful. After all of my crying and our talking, I really need some water and then I want nothing more than to curl up in bed with Zack and let him make love to me.
“I’m going to go get some water,” I tell him as we enter the house. Nick is in the living room, sitting on the couch, and Zack heads toward him. “Can I get you something?” I ask before walking away.
“A bottle of water would be great. I want a clear head when I make love to you,” he replies with a sweet smile.
“Oh, please, you guys are so ridiculous. Can’t you ever just fuck? It might do you both some good. All that making love you do has got to be boring as fuck.” Nick’s bitching never stops. I roll my eyes but Zack just laughs at him.
“One day you’ll know what it’s like, Nick, and then we’ll talk. Until then, shut the fuck up.” At least Zack has no problem defending our love, I think to myself as I walk down the hall to the kitchen. Once I reach the door, I hear giggling and whispered voices. I peek around the corner and see two of Angelica’s besties—Bethany and some other chick whose name escapes me right now. They’re up to something; I see a bottle of pills on the counter and they’re opening cupboards left and right.
“Found it,” Bethany tells her friend as she pulls a bottle of vodka from the cabinet. Her friend giggles and takes it from her. They’re already wasted and have no idea I’m watching them.
“What are you doing?” Zack whispers in my ear. I turn around and put my finger to my lips in a ‘shh’ motion and his eyes narrow as he focuses on what I’m watching.
“Perfect,” the redhead tells her with slurred words. “Now, this is what you do. We’re going to mix a few of these pills in the vodka and tonic water. He’s already wasted and he’ll never even taste it.”
“Okay,” Bethany giggles. “Then what?” she asks as she sloshes vodka on the counter, completely missing the glass.
“You’ve got the condoms, right? Did you poke holes in them all?”
“Yup,” she replies, nodding her head. “I even got his key to use his bathroom and poked holes in all of his, too.”
“Oh, hell no,” Zack snaps in my ear and I place my finger over his mouth. I think I’ve got a plan. Bethany has always liked me despite Angelica and she doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut. I push away from the wall and stroll into the kitchen.
“Hey, Beth, what’s going on?” I ask with a smile and she actually gives me a big hug. Silly girl.
“Cassidy, I’m so sorry Angelica was such a bitch and fucked your man in the garage earlier. Are you okay?” Her friend is eyeing me suspiciously but I just play it off.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Zack loves me, you know? I just don’t have the money he has so Angelica is playing the social class card with him and it’s starting to work. I can forgive his indiscretion but I’ve got to come up with a plan to keep him or I’m going to lose him.”
Bethany looks pleadingly at her friend and the friend just shrugs her shoulders as if saying it’s up to her. She bites down on her lip and then pulls me close.
“You want to keep Zack and make some money?” she asks, slurring her words. Bingo, she’s going to spill.
I nod my head. “More than anything.”
She pulls two condoms from her purse and hands them to me. “Put those in your pocket and make sure to use them both tonight. You’ll have a good shot of getting pregnant. Then you can keep the baby and marry Zack and his billions or you can have an abortion and rake in a hefty amount of hush money to stay quiet. Your choice.”
“Seriously? That is such a great idea!” I squeal excitedly, still needing to stay on her good side until I figure out how to stop them from drugging Nick.
“You’ve got a better chance of it if you don’t use a condom. Do you and Zack fuck without condoms?” This time it’s her friend asking me and I shake my head no.
“Neither does Nick, but the odds are so much better if they do. So, since we’re tag teaming him tonight, we’re giving him a little medicated cocktail. He won’t remember a thing. But in case it doesn’t work on him the way we hope, we’ve got holes in the condoms just in case.”
“That’s brilliant!”
They both smile at me and the girl I don’t know flashes an evil smirk “My brother sells the date rape drug on his college campus. I just stole a few pills from his stash. We only need two but I have three, do you want the last one?”
I nod excitedly and Bethany go
es back to mixing the drinks and the girl drops the pills in the cups while Bethany keeps stirring.
“Cassidy, do you mind giving the drinks to Nick and Zack? We’re a little drunk and we don’t want to spill them since it’s all we’ve got.” This bitch with her evil smile knows exactly what she’s asking me to do. If anything comes back on this night, she wants me to take the fall for giving them the drinks. It’s all good; it couldn’t have worked out any better had I planned it.
When I pick up the drinks, the two of them start walking out of the kitchen and that’s when I head straight for the sink and dump the drinks down the drain.
“You fucking cunt!” the evil smirker screams as Bethany’s jaw drops to the ground when she notices what I just did. They both fly at me and that’s when Zack and Rylee both jump into the mix.
“I think it’s best the two of you get the fuck out of this house right now,” Zack tells them furiously. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him so angry.
Bethany tries to blame it all on me. “It was her idea, Zack. She wanted to trap you with an unwanted baby and extort you for money. We were just going to see if she was actually going to try and go through with it but were planning on stopping her before it went too far.”
Rylee is biting her lip so hard I think she might draw blood, but she’s letting Zack handle this one all on his own. Nick is standing at the door now, looking more pissed than I’ve ever seen.
“First, let’s clear a few things up, Bethany. You, too, Belinda,” he snaps at her as she tries to skulk away. At least he knew her name; that was bugging the hell out of me.
“Cassidy doesn’t need to trap me with a baby because if I thought she’d let me, I’d knock her ass up today and marry her tomorrow. Even if we broke up right this second, if she ever needed anything, and I mean anything from a pot to piss in to a billion dollars, I’d give it to her, no questions asked. That’s what you do for your friends and the people you love.”
Ry can’t hold it in anymore and she jumps in front of Zack and goes off.