by Angel Lawson
The truth in his words cut deep and to the core of the problem. He’s not only worried about being cheated on but being the cheater. I stroke his cheek with my thumb. “I think we have to trust that we’ll take care of one another.”
“My dad was as bad as my mom. They destroyed one another.”
“It sounds like they had a lot of problems,” I say. “But look at Mom and Richard. They’ve been through the hurt and pain and have come out the other side. I think they both regret the time they wasted. I don’t want a lifetime of regrets. I have too many already.”
He nods. This serious side of Justin is new. Heartbreaking. But something I said must have resonated, because the air around him shifts. His eyes hold mine and when he leans down and kisses me, I’m ready. We’re out of time, we’ve laid everything bare, and I’m willing to take the consequences. It may be my only chance. His lips move to my neck, hot and eager, and I slide my hands around his back, touching the soft skin above his waist.
In the shadowy room, I fumble with the buttons on Justin’s shirt, while he makes quick work of my tank and pushes my shorts to the ground. He’s fast, like most men, his desire dictating his speed. But I’m nervous and exposed, tripping over the shorts—bumping into the table.
“Ouch, crap,” I laugh, rubbing my hip. Justin steadies me—his hands warm against my body.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Very,” I promise. I kiss him again, tugging at his waistband. He hardly notices, as he’s too intent on exploring every inch of my body.
“Bed,” I demand, fumbling backwards. I reach back for the mattress and land with a soft thud. I want to feel him on top of me. Under me. “Inside,” I breathe out the instant he climbs on the bed. I can see his face better here, the light filtering through the tiny, odd-shaped window over my bed.
“Thank god I caught you,” he mumbles, pushing the sweat-slicked hair off my forehead.
“What?”
He only smiles, pressing his hips into mine.
I smile back, feeling him and this moment, because when we join a sudden realization comes over me. Not just the euphoria or relief from the mounting lust. I’d promised myself I’d repair the damage I’d done back at school and rebuild my life in this tiny camper by the sea. I promised I would leave a different person when I left than when I arrived.
I brush the hair out of his eyes, feeling the roll of his hips against the pops and crackle of fireworks down the beach.
Bobby had told me weeks ago that I’d never want to leave this place.
I had no idea then how right he would be.
Chapter Sixteen
Justin places a finger on my lips and says, “Shhh.” He fights his own laugh as we duck past a guy unloading fishing gear from his truck. We walk in the opposite direction, away from the fishing piers, but it doesn’t matter. The beach is silent other than the crashing waves. I suspect everyone is recovering from the long day and night of celebrations.
It’s barely six and the sky has just started to lighten to a hazy gray. I follow Justin over the dunes to the water, holding his hand as he leads the way. Once we hit the hard-packed sand, we drop our towels and strip off our clothes. I guess my bathing suit had more use left in it after all.
“You can do this,” he says. My feet sink into the cool, soft sand bordering the ocean.
I’m not sure why I agreed to this, but he woke me up naked and weak and told me I couldn’t leave unless I tried one more time. What went unspoken is that he needs this from me. Because trust goes both ways.
The water is Justin’s home, like a second skin, so he wades into his knees while I tentatively allow tiny waves to cover my toes.
“I’m coming,” I say, pushing down the panic building in my chest. This fear is unfounded, but real. He walks back and takes my hand this time, slowing his pace to mine.
“This may take forever,” he says several minutes later. The water is only at our shins. I’m not sure he realizes it, but my heart is in my throat; a full-fledged panic attack is not far away.
“Maybe we should just—oooph.” Justin picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. I look over his shoulder at the dark water as he wades in deeper.
“This will be faster.”
I wrap my arms around his neck. “Justin, I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
“I can’t breathe, babe,” he says and I loosen my grip. A little. He takes a couple more strides in and stops. We’re about waist deep and a wave splashes over my butt.
“It’s freezing,” I say. “And scary.”
“Paige, I’m not going to let anything happen, okay?”
I believe he means the words he is saying, but I look at the endless dark water around us. Anything could be lurking under the surface. “What about shar—,“ I start to argue but he stops me with his lips, kissing me, as he walks in a bit further. Once he gets deep enough he sinks in so the water is up to our necks.
“You can’t just kiss me every time I freak out.”
“No?”
“No, because, oh my god,” I squeal. “Something just touched my fo—,“ Again, his mouth is on mine and as much as I want to fight him, his method of distraction is very effective. I relax into his kiss and the feel of his body next to mine as we float in the water.
“See? Not so bad.” His hands wander, slipping beneath the bikini strap across my back.
“It’s horrible,” I say, but there isn’t an ounce of conviction in my voice. A burning heat spreads through my belly and I no longer care that we’re in the ocean, surrounded by sea creatures and other scary things. “You’re kind of magic, you know.”
“No, I don’t know. Enlighten me.”
“You’re fearless. And determined. You know just how to make me feel comfortable, and you put your family and friends first—even when it’s the harder choice.”
“It’s not a choice, Paige. I refuse to repeat the past. I’m better than my parents. I’m better than this town—but I love it here. And I’ll stay, like Richard, and do my best to make a difference.”
We rise up and down as a wave comes, and I wrap my legs tight around his waist. “You’ve already managed the impossible, getting me out here. In my eyes, you can do anything you set your mind on.”
“Is that so?” There’s a devil’s smirk on his face.
I nod, and his smirk blossoms into a full-out smile. He lifts me out of the water and begins a slow trudge back to the shore. I shiver as the cold air hits my wet skin. “Where are we going?”
He presses his lips to mine. “I only have my mind set on one thing right now, and we’re running out of time.”
Chapter Seventeen
“You’ll never believe who called me.”
I drop the box labeled ‘books’ on the futon and try not to drop the phone. “Who?” I ask.
“Darlene!” my mother shouts. She’s very excited. I’m just not sure why.
“Didn’t we already talk to her?” A lot of things about the summer are a bit of a blur, but I’m pretty sure I remember talking to Darlene about her psychopath uncle.
“Yes, but she called me again and this time I met with her and her mother—direct family contact.”
“That’s great,” I tell her. “Did she tell you anything new?”
“Yes, and she showed me some photos no one had seen or published before. Plus she was at his execution.”
“Oh, that’s…great.”
“It really is. Eyewitness reports can’t be beat. She was really excited about helping with the process. I think it will make the book that much better.”
“So you’re almost done then?” I ask. I left Ocean Beach two weeks ago. Leaving school in such a rush last spring wasn’t such a great idea. Not only did I have a final essay to turn in, I had bills to pay and an apartment to clean up. I had to find somewhere new to live, which wasn’t easy on such short notice. I can’t believe how much of an incompetent mess I turned into due to the Mark situation.
“I start
edits next week. I should have it sent in to the publisher by the end of August.”
“That’s great, Mom. I’m really proud of you.” I start shelving the books from the box in order to clear some space. I’ve rented a one-room studio near campus. It’s tiny, but definitely more space than an Airstream camper.
“Thanks, honey,” she says. “How’s everything there?”
“Good. I’ve got everything moved. Unpacking sucks.”
I hear a man’s voice and my mother laughs. “Richard said to tell you to hurry back. Justin’s climbing the walls without you.”
I smile and feel the heat of an unnecessary blush settle in my cheeks. I don’t know why, but Justin makes me feel exposed. Like the whole world knows who we are and what we’ve done. “My flight leaves at ten. And I miss him, too.”
I hear a knock on the door. “Mom, someone’s here. I’ll call you from the airport.”
“Alright, honey. Love you.”
I hang up and weave through the boxes on the floor to get to the door. I check the peep hole and freeze.
“Paige? I know you’re in there,” she says. Her voice is calm and friendly. Not what I expected.
Nicole. Through the tiny, warped hole I can see her dark hair, long and straight even though it’s 100% humidity. Always beautiful.
“What do you want?” I ask, without opening the door.
“Just to talk.”
I relent and unlock the door. “I can’t imagine that we have anything to talk about.”
She doesn’t seem deterred. In fact, she asks, “Can I come in?”
I look behind me. “No. It’s a mess. I’m just moving in and honestly I’m not really comfortable with you in my house. How did you find me, anyway?”
“I worked in the student affairs office. Or did. I saw your change of address come through the system. I decided to take a chance.” She takes a deep breath. “I wanted to apologize.”
“You want to apologize to me? For sle—being with your husband?” Yeah, not buying that.
She sighs and I see the first signs of her perfect façade cracking. “You own your part of this affair, which I can say is more than Mark. I’m embarrassed about coming after you when it happened. I wanted to blame you and not Mark, when really he’s the one that deserved the blame. I confronted you and not him.”
I grimace. “I think I probably deserve part of the blame although that scene in the student union? Ouch.” She laughs and I can’t help but join her. What a mess. I’m so ready to put it behind me.
“As long as we’re apologizing, I owe you one. A big one. I was stupid and immature. To be fair, I didn’t know about you, but I knew he was a teacher and off limits. I let him manipulate me—and I’m smarter than that.”
“Me too,” she says. “I’m smarter also.”
I decide to find out if Mark was telling the truth when he came to the beach. “I heard you left him.”
“I did. I don’t have time for that kind of deceit and negativity in my life. I loved him, but not enough to live that way. I hope you do the same.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve moved on.” I don’t tell her about his visits to the beach. There’s no need for us both to relive that fiasco.
“I just wanted to stop by on my way out of town. I had applied and was accepted at Purdue for a graduate program. Originally I was going to pass it up to stay here with Mark, but I realized I would be a damn fool to do that. School starts in two weeks.”
Relief floods though me. This may be a sociable visit, but I wasn’t looking forward to seeing her on campus. “Congratulations and good luck.”
“Thank you, Paige, and good luck with your life.” She smiles like she means it. “Oh I have something for you.” She reaches into her bag and pulls out an envelope. “It’s the photos and the memory card. Destroy them. Frame them. Blackmail him. I don’t care. I just don’t want them in my possession any longer.” With that, she turns and leaves.
I shut the door and press my back against the wood, clutching the photos to my chest. I didn’t expect that moment, but I’m already glad it happened. From my spot on the floor I survey the room around me. Boxes of clothes and trinkets. A purple velvet chair from my grandmother’s house and a futon couch I’d bought off of Craigslist. The apartment symbolizes my freedom. My maturity and growth. Independence.
These are the things I have, but there’s something else I want. I pick up my phone and call Justin.
~*~
“Whose bright idea was game night, anyway?” I ask.
“One guess.”
“Anita?”
“And Sugar. It’s tradition. Once a month.” Justin fastens the button on his jeans while I straighten my skirt.
He eyes my fumbling hands and notes, “You should wear dresses to every game night.”
I smooth my hair back into a neat ponytail. Well, as neat as I can get it. “You’d like that.”
“Yep.”
Laughter floats from the patio below. Bobby’s voice rises above the others. It sounds like he’s challenging some rule or the other. “Does this happen every time?” I ask, meaning the argument downstairs.
“Bobby thinks everyone cheats. Really, he just sucks at strategy.”
“I’m surprised you passed up on playing. You’re awfully competitive.” Justin and I excused ourselves from the latest round to ‘look for something’ in his apartment. Apparently he found it. Up my skirt.
“I’m not spending my limited number of minutes with you playing games.” He sits on the top step of the stairs and pulls me down onto his lap. “Those two weeks almost killed me. Saying goodbye for longer is going to suck.”
He’s right. It’s going to suck. “I’ll come down for the Vandy-Clemson game.”
He nods. “And I’ll come up for your mom’s book thing.” Her publisher put the rush on her book. She’s expecting a Christmas release, because everyone loves a little serial killer with their eggnog. “And then you’ll have spring break,” he continues.
I brush his hair out of his eyes. “And then it’s summer again.”
“From there we’ll decide.” That was the deal. We get through the year, see if this sticks and make other decisions. Like transferring south. Or moving north. Or maybe something entirely different.
“We can make it work,” he says. I believe him, but I’m nervous.
The fighting below gets louder and we both laugh when we hear Maggie start in. Justin stands, pulling me up with him. “Let me try and get Bobby to settle down. “
I follow him down the steps and we can see the fireplace roaring and lanterns all around the patio. Mom, Richard, Sugar and the others are partnered off around a big table with a game on top.
“Oh, did I tell you?” I ask, once we reach the bottom. “Mom’s leaving the Airstream at the campground.”
“Really?”
“I think she wants to have somewhere nearby also. I don’t know how he did it, but Richard won her back. I suspect she’ll move down here full time before next summer.”
“Hawkins charm,” he says, waving me off, but then I see him furrow his forehead. “Wait, so if Richard and your mom get married, what does that make us?”
I think about it for a second. “Lucky?”
He leans in and kisses me soft on the lips. “I like the sound of that,” he says, steering me toward the others.
We reclaim our seats around the table. Justin jumps in and starts battling with Bobby over imaginary injustices in the game. Anita rolls her eyes, aware of what we’ve been up to. I ignore her and instead look at my mom. Her eyes sparkle from the fire and she’s happy. We both are.
“Dude, I’m not cheating!” Bobby shouts at his brother, but he winks at me before he throws his cards on the table. “Like you were even down here to notice.”
My cheeks flush red, but I don’t care. I’m just happy to be part of this family and thankful my mother brought us to this edge of the world, one I never knew existed. For a second, I wish she had come back sooner
to heal, but I know in my heart now is the right time.
The best time.
Acknowledgements
Special thanks to Sam and Vanessa for helping me with formatting and editing Serial Summer. To all my readers who have made self-publishing an exciting journey and for my cousins and the many summers we spent at the beach were I drew inspiration for this story.
About the Author
Angel Lawson lives in Atlanta with her family reading, writing and creating art of one kind or the other. She can typically be found preparing for the zombie apocalypse or cleaning the glitter out from under her nails. Angel is the author of Young Adult Novels, Wraith and FanGirl. Serial Summer is her first romance. Her next book, the sequel to Wraith, Shadow Bound, will be released in December 2012. Check out her Web Site at http://www.angellawson.com/