by Kylie Parker
“Seriously?” I ask, licking my lips, really enjoying the blueberry taste that is in the syrup as well as the pancakes. I make myself a plate also. “Who knew you could cook?”
“I am French.” She says, “Of course I can cook!”
We eat, and about halfway through our breakfast I am practically begging her to get back to the bedroom. She smiles and touches my bare chest, “Finish your breakfast.” She stands and comes behind me as I am seated. She leans on my back and reaches her hands around to stroke my chest as well as the outside of my pants. “I’ll be right back,” she whispers in my ear and departs to the bedroom
Damn that woman! I start to wonder if perhaps she has an outfit or something packed that I did not know about last night. She returns to the kitchen, and I am gravely disappointed to see that she has gotten dressed and ready for work. “Awe, come on, Éclair!” I snap, not at all appreciating the tease.
“What can I say?” she laughs, “I have to work. So unless you want to talk to me about selling your company, I am not sticking around.”
“You know,” I say, “Have you ever considered that the two of us would make a good team if we merged?”
“Ha!” she laughs, “I do not do partnerships.” She jokingly jabs me in the arm.
“Fine.” I say, “So tell me, are you free tonight?”
“Feisty, aren’t we?” Éclair laughs, “No, I have a date this evening.”
I roll my eyes, “Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Some fool my sister is trying to set me up with. We will see how it goes.” Éclair huffs and hurries out the door.
I shake my head. She is certainly one of a kind. I stuff my face full of blueberry pancakes as I muse about this wonderfully insane woman, Éclair.
3
Wonderful my ass! Bitch did this on purpose!
After Éclair had left, I started casually getting dressed to get ready for work when I came across my cell phone with twenty-seven missed calls from my older brother. Twenty-seven! I completely forgot that today was the grand opening of our gym and that I am supposed to be there in twenty fucking minutes!
As I am throwing on my clothes, I call my brother back and place the phone on the counter on speaker. “You son of a bitch!” I hear him scream as soon as he picks up, “Fucking moron! Where the fuck are you, you dick?” Well, he certainly is pissed.
“I’m in the car,” I lie, “Ten minutes away, I swear.”
“Fuck you!” he shouts, “You’re a fucking liar, James!”
“Easy, Eddie.” I say, “I swear; I’m on my way.”
“You better be, or I swear I will rip your fucking ears off!” that was a weird threat, but I run with it.
“I know, I know –I’m running late. I was with Éclair.” I say, and that only makes him angrier. I forgot how much he hated her.
“Fuck that bitch!” Eddie shouts, “The press are getting antsy. Get your ass down here now!”
“Hold them off for just a few more minutes. I am heading out the door right now-” shit, what did I just say?
“I thought you were ten minutes away, you asshole!” He screams.
“No, but that’s what you need to tell everyone.” I say, “Got to go; I’ll be there soon.” I hang up before I get another earful of cusses thrown my way. I take the elevator down and rush to my car before zipping out into the street.
Eddie is probably about ready to kill me. There is not much I can do to make the drive any faster with the LA traffic. I can’t believe this happened. I swear Éclair must have done this on purpose. She knew all about this little PR stunt we’re doing with the new gym to promote our new line of supplements. She has never stayed over before, and she certainly has never made me any food after our… endeavors. She was just screwing with me to make me late.
Éclair and I have an unusual relationship. She is definitely a hit it and quit it type woman. Our relationship is purely sexual –not that we don’t enjoy an intellectual conversation from time to time. Honestly, we are probably made for each other, but we’re both way too stubborn. We use each other for sex for tension relief. Our jobs are pretty hectic –hers more so than mine, so casual sex with no strings attached is just what we need to unwind. We have a lot of fun together, but we’re both too big of assholes to ever make a real relationship work between us. We both have dominant personalities, as is proven by her constant insistence that I sell my company to her. Not going to happen.
I drive by a large billboard that I have seen a thousand times before. It always makes my junk bounce a bit from excitement. It’s a billboard for one of Éclair’s supplements; the model is the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. I’m sure it’s mostly photoshopped, but I don’t really care. The woman has blonde hair, perky breasts, tan skin, is well toned, and is basically the ideal female specimen. There is not anything in any porn mag I’ve ever looked at that could even compare to this random model on a billboard for an energy supplement. Maybe we should start using models that look like that?
I shake the random distraction away. Ten minutes have already passed. Eddie is going to be fuming by the time I get there. How could I forget about this? I mean, seriously? Eddie and I do not exactly get along. I was the little brother, and our dad had left me pretty much everything – the company included. Eddie had been totally blindsided, and truthfully it had come as a shock to me as well. Turned out, Eddie was not biologically our father’s son. We had no idea. Dad had always treated Eddie well; if anything, I had always thought Eddie was his favorite. He left Eddie his summer home and a small fortune, but that was it apart from a rather cruel letter telling him he was the result of our mother’s infidelity and that he was only somewhat sorry for not telling him sooner. Eddie’s inheritance would be considered a lot to most people, but our old man had been positively loaded. I inherited a multi-billion dollar supplements corporation, two houses that I never use, multiple classic cars, his stupid ass horses, his yacht, a crummy baseball team I did not even know existed, any sort of family heirlooms, and a hell of a lot more. After Dad had died and Eddie had been blindsided by him, he had started heading down a dark road. I hired Eddie as my assistant PR guy as well as a head factory worker, but that was the most of my charity he would take.
Now Eddie takes his job very seriously –a lot more serious than I do, I’ll admit. He is probably fuming right now. I speed along the road as quickly as the traffic allows, hoping that I’m not going to be too terribly late –knowing good and well that that is probably a false hope.
4
I am more than just a little late. I’m jumping out of my car as fast as I can, and I see Eddie bolting in my direction. “I ought to kick your ass.” He snarls and closes my door for me. The two of us begin to speed walk through the parking lot towards the front of the building where a group of impatient people are waiting to get inside. “Do you realize how long these people have been waiting? Seriously, James, you’re so irresponsible. I can’t believe you are a fucking hour late! An hour! All because you were boning Éclair again. You know that woman is our competition, right? Or have you forgotten that little fact? Well?”
“Would you just shut up? Seriously, man. I am sorry I’m late but damn!” I shove him, so he’s not walking so close to me.
“You’re the face of the company,” Eddie reminds me, “People are buying you. You can’t act like a selfish asshole when we put your face on everything. People are buying that stupid pretty face of yours.”
I laugh, “You think I’m pretty?”
“It’s not funny!” Eddie snaps, “I’m serious, James. You can’t keep blowing stuff off like this. We’ve sunk a lot of money into this gym. If the company is going to expand it’s Healthy Living line, we have got to make this work. This is just going to be the first of many if it works out, and I don’t know about you, but I rather not have this become a giant money pit. I can’t believe you just-”
“Okay, pause,” I say and stop walking. We wind up standing in the middle of the parking lot star
ing each other down. “I’m sorry. You need to take a breath, though. I’m here. People are still here. The reporters are still here. This is something we can settle easily. Got it? What’s done is done. I’m going to walk up to that little podium, give my speech, and cut the damn ribbon so people can go inside. Then you are going to shut your damn mouth. Got it?”
“Don’t fucking talk to me like that!” Eddie hisses.
“I’ll talk to you however I damn well please,” I say, feeling angrier than I probably should. I’m mostly angry at Éclair for screwing me over, but I guess I’m just going to take it out on Eddie, “I’m your boss. I own your ass, remember? Honestly, you’re lucky you even have a job.”
“Excuse me?” he looks like he wants to punch me, but I know he won’t.
I poke my finger in his chest, “I know you’re in debt. That’s why you’re freaking out over this shit. I’m not going to let the company take a fall, Eddie. You’re going to be fine.”
Eddie looks furious, “How did you know I was in debt?”
“Your skanky sister. That’s how.” I say, and he stiffens. Eddie’s biological father was apparently notorious for getting married women pregnant; he just found out about a few half-siblings about a year after our dad died. They’re all a bunch of losers who are always taking his money. Apparently of all the children, his biological father created, Eddie is the only one who turned out to be even half-descent. By the look on Eddie’s face, I can tell he had no idea I had spoken with any of them at all.
“Why are you even talking to them?” he snarls. “They’re not your family.”
“No, but you are.” I say, “And I’m not going to let you sink down any further, man. The company is fine. You just got to stop giving out loans to all of those idiots. You’re too prideful to take any money from me, but you’re more than happy to write a check to bail one of those morons out of jail. You got to cut back on your family charity, or you’re going to wind up losing your shares and everything else.”
He grumbles slightly, but the sad look on his face tells me that he is admitting defeat, “I don’t know what to do, James.”
I pat his shoulder, “You’ve looked after me pretty much my whole life. I got your back, Eddie. I know taking financial advice from your little brother is a low blow, but maybe try listening to me for once.”
“Fine.” He says under his breath.
“Good.” I say, “We’ll talk afterward about what we can do, all right?”
“Fine.” He says again, “Don’t forget, you’re meeting Tiffany after this.”
“Right,” I say, having completely forgotten he wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend today. He’s been dating this Tiffany chick for a couple of months now, and he seems to really like her as far as I can tell. I’m glad we got the whole debt thing out in the open; I’ve meant to talk to him about it for some time now.
Looks like it’s time to get the show on the road.
5
I am more than just a little late. I’m jumping out of my car as fast as I can, and I see Eddie bolting in my direction. “I ought to kick your ass.” He snarls and closes my door for me. The two of us begin to speed walk through the parking lot towards the front of the building where a group of impatient people are waiting to get inside. “Do you realize how long these people have been waiting? Seriously, James, you’re so irresponsible. I can’t believe you are a fucking hour late! An hour! All because you were boning Éclair again. You know that woman is our competition, right? Or have you forgotten that little fact? Well?”
“Would you just shut up? Seriously, man. I am sorry I’m late but damn!” I shove him, so he’s not walking so close to me.
“You’re the face of the company,” Eddie reminds me, “People are buying you. You can’t act like a selfish asshole when we put your face on everything. People are buying that stupid pretty face of yours.”
I laugh, “You think I’m pretty?”
“It’s not funny!” Eddie snaps, “I’m serious, James. You can’t keep blowing stuff off like this. We’ve sunk a lot of money into this gym. If the company is going to expand it’s Healthy Living line, we have got to make this work. This is just going to be the first of many if it works out, and I don’t know about you, but I rather not have this become a giant money pit. I can’t believe you just-”
“Okay, pause,” I say and stop walking. We wind up standing in the middle of the parking lot staring each other down. “I’m sorry. You need to take a breath, though. I’m here. People are still here. The reporters are still here. This is something we can settle easily. Got it? What’s done is done. I’m going to walk up to that little podium, give my speech, and cut the damn ribbon so people can go inside. Then you are going to shut your damn mouth. Got it?”
“Don’t fucking talk to me like that!” Eddie hisses.
“I’ll talk to you however I damn well please,” I say, feeling angrier than I probably should. I’m mostly angry at Éclair for screwing me over, but I guess I’m just going to take it out on Eddie, “I’m your boss. I own your ass, remember? Honestly, you’re lucky you even have a job.”
“Excuse me?” he looks like he wants to punch me, but I know he won’t.
I poke my finger in his chest, “I know you’re in debt. That’s why you’re freaking out over this shit. I’m not going to let the company take a fall, Eddie. You’re going to be fine.”
Eddie looks furious, “How did you know I was in debt?”
“Your skanky sister. That’s how.” I say, and he stiffens. Eddie’s biological father was apparently notorious for getting married women pregnant; he just found out about a few half-siblings about a year after our dad died. They’re all a bunch of losers who are always taking his money. Apparently of all the children, his biological father created, Eddie is the only one who turned out to be even half-descent. By the look on Eddie’s face, I can tell he had no idea I had spoken with any of them at all.
“Why are you even talking to them?” he snarls. “They’re not your family.”
“No, but you are.” I say, “And I’m not going to let you sink down any further, man. The company is fine. You just got to stop giving out loans to all of those idiots. You’re too prideful to take any money from me, but you’re more than happy to write a check to bail one of those morons out of jail. You got to cut back on your family charity, or you’re going to wind up losing your shares and everything else.”
He grumbles slightly, but the sad look on his face tells me that he is admitting defeat, “I don’t know what to do, James.”
I pat his shoulder, “You’ve looked after me pretty much my whole life. I got your back, Eddie. I know taking financial advice from your little brother is a low blow, but maybe try listening to me for once.”
“Fine.” He says under his breath.
“Good.” I say, “We’ll talk afterward about what we can do, all right?”
“Fine.” He says again, “Don’t forget, you’re meeting Tiffany after this.”
“Right,” I say, having completely forgotten he wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend today. He’s been dating this Tiffany chick for a couple of months now, and he seems to really like her as far as I can tell. I’m glad we got the whole debt thing out in the open; I’ve meant to talk to him about it for some time now.
Looks like it’s time to get the show on the road.
6
“What can I say?” I laugh as I speak into the microphone at the podium, “Traffic.” I’m getting pretty agitated with the reporter in the front row with the purple stripe in her hair. She keeps asking some pretty obnoxious and kind of personal questions. I’m kind of a businessman-celebrity type, and she is clearly trying to pin me as a flake after being an hour late for my own event.
“Mr. Caldwin,” the same woman asks, “Would you care to comment on last week’s incident at El Ranchero Grill?”
Well, isn’t she just lovely? Last week I got into a bar fight, and it made the local news. She’s nailing me hard.
“Tell you what, sweetheart, you and I can talk privately about that later. Let’s get this show on the road –how about it, everyone?”
The group of patrons who have been waiting to check out the gym cheer excitedly. I cut the ribbon and everyone heads inside. It’s a pretty impressive gym. Rock-climbing walls, pools, sauna’s, a smoothie joint, and a hell of a lot more make up the unique perks our memberships allow. People are going to really dig this place. There are fliers promoting our supplements all over the place. I smile somewhat vainly at one flier that is pretty much just a shot of my chest that reads Get Shattered.
“Prideful little asshole, aren’t you?” it’s the petite reporter with the purple stripe in her black hair.
She snuck up on me. I frown, “What can I say? I suppose you hit the nail on the head. Who are you, exactly?”
“Call me Tiff Lovely.” She says.
Lovely? Well, that’s an interesting last name. “Well, Ms. Lovely, tell me, who exactly do you work for?”
“I’m a blogger.” She says, and I laugh –loudly.
“You must be joking.” I say, “And here I thought you were a real reporter with the way you were grinding me.”
“Cute.” She says, clearly not at all pleased with the real reporter jab. “I make good money doing what I do, Mr. Caldwin.”
“What blog?” I ask curiously, “Maybe I heard of it.”
“LA Unbound.” She says, and I’m impressed. I have heard of it. I think Eddie reads it or something.
“That’s your blog?” I ask.
“That’s my blog.” She says, “You promised a private interview.”