Sasha's Dilemma (The Dilemma Series)

by Smith, T. L

  "What a load of bullshit, Lola! You don’t go that crazy if you don’t like the man more than you’re letting on. You like Blake a lot, and she was flirting with him! Don’t tell me not to read into it. I am reading you like a book, and the name of the book is ‘I’m in Denial’. Am I right?"

  She looks up at me with softer eyes, but then huffs, "I don’t like that book, Sash."

  "Have you spoken to Blake this morning about last night?"

  "Yes, who do you reckon woke me up?"

  "When are you going to wake up and realise that you guys are crazy about each other?"

  "We’re just mates with benefits."

  "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Lola."

  I decide this is a dead end of conversation. They’re both too stubborn for their own good. I go back to my room to see who is texting me. I’m surprised to see it’s from Josh.

  Stallion:

  We've got a situation.

  I can’t stop thinking

  about you ...

  Me:

  Well, clearly that’s not

  OUR situation. That’s your

  situation. Deal with it.

  Stallion:

  It’s our situation when

  I saw how you looked at me

  when those blondes were

  dancing all over me.

  What am I going to reply to that? I don’t know where I stand with Dylan, and Josh is a man-whore. He could have sent that first message to plenty of other women for all I know. I decide to just not reply, and take a nice long shower. When I come back out, I have more text messages from Josh. God, he makes me laugh. He has a gentler side to him that I like, but he doesn’t seem to bring it out very often.

  Stallion:

  Sasha, I know I’m irresistible.

  Don’t you want to taste me too?

  Stallion:

  Actually, you look like

  you could do with a

  solid piece of meat.

  Stallion:

  Maybe, just maybe,

  I’ll have a dinner party.

  Do you want to Cum?

  Stallion:

  ENTRÉE: with light

  kisses down the neck,

  nibbles on the ear.

  Stallion:

  MAIN: Breast wrapped in

  a la hands with a side of

  fingers dipped in heavenly

  sauce.

  Stallion:

  DESSERT: To top off a

  delicious dinner I was

  thinking… Something soft

  and sweet that I have to lick

  slow & torturously to

  savor the flavor. Sorry, Sash,

  maybe dessert is just for me,

  I’m greedy like that.

  Where does he get this stuff from? I decide to play his game too and write back.

  Me:

  Would you like me to

  bring a bottle of

  “You’re forgiven”? That’s

  if I can make it. I think

  dessert just melted.

  "Sasha. Sasha, come on, let’s go to the library before I change my mind and go back to bed." Lola threatens from the doorway.

  *****

  I spent the day with Adam and Brit at the coffeehouse. We chatted most of the day before I came to work at Chica’s and it was a relief for my mind not to be thinking of the two men who currently are taking up too much time in my mind.

  "Hey, Sasha."

  "Hey, Joe. We going to be busy tonight?"

  "Yeah, looks like it. We have a work party booked in for the night. You’ll be looking after them."

  Oh, the joys...

  I’m walking around taking orders when in walks the ‘Stallion’ himself. Does this guy not know how to dress bad, or does everything look good on him?

  "Hey, beautiful, had to visit after that text message," he says to me in greeting.

  "Hello, Josh."

  I don’t understand why he would come to my work and act like we’re great friends. Josh is here with a few people I haven’t seen around before. I’m guessing they work with him considering the number of tattoos and piercings they have. One of the girls is giving me the death stare, like she might pummel me if I talk to Josh for much longer. I don’t even bother acknowledging her. I simply ignore her and get back to it. I look back up and his two other mates are smirking at me as if they know something I’m unaware of. I quickly take their orders and rush back to the bar, wanting to get away from Josh and his friends. Lost in thought while making their drinks, I’m surprised to find the girl who came in with Josh standing in my personal space.

  "So, you’re the flavour of the month?" she sneers at me, and by the tone of her voice, I know she isn’t here for friendly conversation.

  I whip my head around to stare at this girl. Who does she thinks she is?

  "No, I’m not the flavour of the month. What’s it to you anyway?" I ask defensively because it sure ain’t her bloody business.

  "Well, if you’re not his flavour, why are you giving him puppy eyes every time he looks at you?"

  That’s it. I’m about to jump over this bar and knock her and her smart-ass mouth out the bar. I lean over so I’m in her face and whisper, "What is your problem? If you have a problem with me, just come out and say it. Otherwise, keep your smart-ass comments to yourself."

  She looks up at me and smiles. I really don’t understand this girl. First, she is baiting me, and then she is smiling the friendliest smile at me like we are best friends.

  "Hey, ladies, you need a hand?" I hear Josh’s sexy voice ask.

  I look back and forth from Josh to this girl, understanding her quick turnaround.

  "No, I’ve got it. Your lovely friend here was just introducing herself to me." I smirk at her.

  "Well, I wouldn’t call Pixie lovely—" Josh says, causing Pixie to turn around and smack Josh it the gut. She turns around to actually introduce herself.

  Josh walks away and Pixie is still smiling at me. I look at her with my eyebrows raised.

  “Just making sure you weren’t another plaything trying to use him.” She copies my reaction and raises her own eyebrows.

  “Why would I be another plaything? Let alone be using him?” I question in complete confusion.

  “You would be surprised at how many girls try being more than just friends with that man. He is sex on a stick and he knows it. That’s the worst part”

  “Okay.” What am I meant to say to that?

  “You seem like a nice girl. Just be warned, if you hurt him, you will have me to deal with.”

  “Okay. What is your problem? You crushing on him or something?”

  “I have no problem. I care for that man like a brother, and hell no, I am not crushing on him. But I may be crushing on you if you keep talking like that,” she adds with a wink.

  Whoa!

  “Look, I’m just saying, he has never chased a girl before. He made us all come here for drinks. At first, I didn’t understand, but now I see you, I completely understand. So just don’t hurt him.”

  “I wasn’t planning to. Thanks for the word of warning, but I see he is fine over there with that little blonde.” He has some nerve coming to my work and chatting up other girls.

  Pixie turns around to see what I am talking about. She turns back and smirks at me. “That’s nothing, just some girl throwing herself at him, as usual, but as you can see, he doesn’t care.”

  “Look, Pixie, I see that you’re trying to look out for your friend, but there is nothing going on with us and I don’t think there will be. I don’t want to get mixed up with a player.”

  “Okay, that’s your choice. I’m not going to try to convince you otherwise, but he is a nice guy under all that player.”

  Pixie bounces off and heads back to the guys while I continue with work.

  I’m halfway through my shift, and Josh and his friends are still here. I’ve been stealing glances at him all night, and to my embarrassment, a few times he has caught me. I see
him smirk just as I turn away to hide my blush.

  It’s near the end of my shift when Josh comes up to talk to me.

  “So, would you like to go for a drink when you’re finished?”

  I look around searching for his friends and realised they have all left.

  “Yeah, sure, just give me sec to grab my bag.”

  Once I have finished packing up my stuff I head out to meet up with Josh. I find him waiting for me at the bar, and I can’t help but check him out. He has a pair of jeans on with a nice fitted shirt that shows off his wonderful physique and those tattoos suit him so much they look like a second skin. I’m wondering what else he has tattooed.

  We pull up to a gorgeous two-storey townhouse and I’m wondering where we are. I thought he meant a bar, not a house. I look at him with my eyebrows raised in question, and he gives me his panty-melting smile.

  “I thought it would be more comfortable if we chatted in private.”

  He walks around to let me out of the car and I follow him into his house. It’s gorgeous; very bachelor pad, no photos hanging, and very open, with your basic needs: TV, couch, Play Station, and stereo. I follow him past the lounge to the kitchen and, wow, it’s huge and full of everything. It’s very different from the dining and lounge areas. He stands behind the counter and suggest I take a seat on the barstool.

  “So, have you eaten? I’m a great cook and I could make you something if you’d like.”

  “No, I’m good, thanks. They fed me at work.”

  “So, Sasha, what would you like to drink? I have everything from champagne to spirits.”

  “Champagne is fine, thanks.”

  “So, you work at the hospital?”

  “Yes, I’m currently in my third year of midwifery.”

  “You enjoying it?”

  “Yes, I love my job. How about yourself? What do you do?”

  “I own a few tattoo shops, currently looking at expanding.”

  He sits beside me with our drinks, smiling. I can feel his eyes on me. It makes me nervous because I would like to know what he is thinking. Is he attracted to me? Or does he want something more?

  We chat for what seems like hours and have finished off the bottle of champagne, when he asks if we should watch a movie. I agree and we head to the lounge area. He puts on Underworld; we discovered we share a love for that movie. He takes a seat next me, and halfway through the movie, he leans over and takes my hand. At first, I’m a bit shocked sinceit’s such a simple move, but the effect it has on me is not what I am expecting. I can feel the alcohol making me sleepy, so I lay my head down on his shoulder. He grabs me and directs me to his lap. I’m trying to keep my eyes open, but it’s hard when he is running his hands through my hair in addition with that intoxicating smell that is Josh.

  Chapter 7

  I wake with a start. I don’t recognise where I am until I turn around and see Josh lying next me. His arm is wrapped around me, his upper midsection dangerously close to my breasts, and one leg is entwined with mine. I try to get up without waking him, and I realise he must have carried me to bed. I turn around slowly, taking his hand off me, but he stirs and pulls me closer. I nudge him to let me go and he wakes up.

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Looks like we have a pattern of this,” I joke, giving him a smile.

  “Of what? You passing out on me and me carrying you to bed? Well then, yeah, I guess we do,” he chuckles as he tells me this.

  I pull myself from his embrace, needing to take care of my usual morning duties. I stare at my reflection in the mirror expecting to see a panicked face. Instead, I see a content woman smiling back at me. I don’t know where we stand at the moment, but I’m happy taking things slowly and getting to enjoy each other. I have to steal a bit of toothpaste to brush my teeth. When I get back to the bedroom, he is still lying in all his naked glory staring up at me.

  “So, I was wondering if you wanted to go and get some breakfast,” he asks me in his smooth, sexy drawl.

  “I don’t want to sound rude, but what are you expecting from me?” I really need to know what he wants. I don’t want to get in over my head.

  “Nothing at the moment. I’m enjoying your company, and I hope you’re enjoying mine. Last we chatted, you weren’t seeing anyone. Unless that has changed, I don’t see what the problem is.”

  “There is no problem, but what are you expecting? A booty call? ‘Cause I’ve heard you have a way with women.” I ask him this out of my own curiosity, but I probably come off sounding bitchy.

  “Oh, I have a way with women, all right, but I’m guessing you’re not like most of the women I see.” He winks at me.

  “Oh, that’s for sure.”

  I’ve barely made a dent in my food at the local brunch place when a beautiful brunette walks up to our table. She completely ignores me as she starts flirting with Josh. He makes small talk, but keeps glancing back at me. He tries to introduce me, but she doesn’t care that I’m even here. She is practically throwing her boobs in his face and acting like I don’t even exist.

  “Well, I’ll leave you to it. I’m off. Thanks for brunch, Josh.” My mind and feelings are all over the place. He makes me so confused I just want to scream.

  I’m out of there before he has time to comment. I hear my name being called, but I have no desire to hear his excuse for why this has happened again. I feel stupid for thinking it could have possibly ended any differently. I’m already standing near the taxi rank before Josh finally catches up to me.

  “Why did you take off?” He seems genuinely confused.

  “Well, you seem to have had company. I just thought I would excuse myself and give you two some privacy,” I say with a bit of sarcasm.

  “Why do you keep on walking away from me, Sasha? I thought we could give this a go, but you always have an excuse for walking away and it’s getting really frustrating.” He looks pained when he says this, but I can’t fall for the bad boy. He’ll just end up breaking my heart, and I need to guard myself against that at all cost.

  “Look, Josh, you’re a nice guy, but you have women falling out your pockets. And not only that, but I have a lot going on with school right now. I don’t think it’s a good time to get involved with anyone.” He’s laughing by the time I finish my speech.

  “What?”

  “Well, that doesn’t seem to be an issue where Dylan is concerned?”

  “That’s none of your business. I work with him and he is a friend.” I’m furious now, and he just keeps on smiling, which makes me even angrier.

  “A friend you kiss. Why didn’t you say being your friend came with benefits? We could have forgotten all this small talk and gotten straight down to business.”

  “FUCK YOU!” I scream at him and start to walk away. He grabs me by the arm and turns me around. His lips press firmly to mine. At first, I’m angry and just want to smack him, but then he is kissing me. I get goose bumps all over my body. He sure does know how to kiss and I melt into him. I forget all about being angry with him. As my body responds to his touch, he pulls me closer so I can feel him against my stomach. I’m instantly clenching my thighs. He just gets me so worked up that my body has a mind of its own.

  It feels like we have been kissing for ages when I remember I am angry with him. Breathless, I pull away. I can’t help but touch my bottom lip. It’s tingling like crazy from that panty-dropping kiss. I look up and it’s clear he wasn’t expecting it to get that heated either. He makes me so confused; he is acting like he wasn’t expecting a kiss like that. I turn and walk away before he realises what happened. I don’t like having these mixed feelings for him. I’ve never wanted to fall in love, that’s for fools with no self-preservation. I’ve seen it too much in my life from my mother. I don’t want to be alone, but I just want a casual relationship, nothing serious. I just want a career and a happy life. By the way the butterflies go off in my belly when I’m near him, I know it’s going to be more than a benefits kind of relationship. I can see it
when he looks at me.

  *****

  I’m getting ready for my shift at the hospital when Lola comes home from her job as a teacher’s aide at the school.

  “So, you didn’t come home last night. You got lucky, huh?” she asks, flopping down on my bed.

  “No, Lola, I didn’t get lucky. Josh and I watched a movie and fell asleep.” I really don’t want to explain myself to her at this moment.

  “You are so not going there, are you? He’s a total man-whore, Sash.”

  “Lola, I know. Stop lecturing me; I’m getting sick of it. If I wanted your opinion, I would ask.”

  “All right, smartass, but if he hurts you, I will hunt him down, chop off his balls, and then feed them to him, get me?”

  “Yes, Lola, loud and clear, you will rip his balls off.”

  “Good girl.”

  I can’t help reliving Josh’s kiss as I shower. Just the thought of it has me wet. The water is hot on my back and I imagine all the amazing things he could do to me with his talented tongue. I mentally slap myself. I have to stop thinking about it; I don’t need to be all worked up going to work.

  Dylan spots me as soon as I get into work. He walks straight up to me, grabs my hand, and pulls me into a supply closet. I’m surprised he pulls me in. I’m not sure what to expect from him; he isn’t as straight forward as Josh. Immediately, his lips are on mine. He’s a good kisser, just nothing compared to Josh. I mentally slap myself again for thinking about him when another man is kissing me. I’ve got to put him out of my mind completely. I can’t allow myself to fall for him. Dylan would be the safer option. He is more stable, easier to talk to. I know he wouldn’t push me for something I wouldn’t want.

  I put my all into the kiss, and grab his hair for a little more force. He grunts in response and pulls me closer so our bodies are flush against each other. After some time we both come up for air. He’s smiling, as he rests his forehead on mine.