His deep-set, crystal blue eyes bore into mine. I swallow hard and try to disengage, but I can’t turn away. Julius is attractive. He knows this, and I have felt this way about him since I saw him on Peyton and Noah’s balcony. His attitude that day and the days following should’ve steered me down the path of avoidance, but each time I’ve seen him, I’ve greeted him with a wide grin only to be rebuffed by him. I should be afraid. Leery even. Except, I’m not. I’m interested and curious. Is this truly the Julius Peyton told me about?
“Autumn?” he says my name so quietly, I almost don’t hear him. I snap out of my trance and realize people are staring at us. My eyes blink rapidly, and I look off into the distance to regain my composure. Julius’s arm is still around my back, and his hand cups my shoulder. It’s an intimate gesture. One that I like.
I finally clear my throat and face my co-workers. “You can’t take my job,” I say firmly as my eyebrow raises. I’m challenging Julius to say otherwise.
He doesn’t.
Instead, he smiles so brightly and laughs. “Our girl has spoken,” he says as his gaze leaves mine and his attention is back on the people around us. I feel like I should feel relieved, but the truth is, I’m on edge. My nerves are dancing at the edge of my skin, keeping me rattled. I can’t tell if my speeding heart is because of the situation I’m in now or because of Julius and how I’m starting to feel about him.
My co-workers ask for Julius’s autograph, and he agrees, which means he must let go of me. As soon as he moves his arm, I find myself stepping closer to him so I can continue to feel his presence. Julius tilts his head slightly and smirks. It’s sexy and heart racing. I step back and give him the space he needs to be Julius Cunningham, Wide Receiver for the Portland Pioneers.
After Julius finishes and my work family is satisfied, we walk back to my dressing room. I think I feel his hand on the small of my back every few steps we take, but I most likely imagine his hand is there. It’s one thing to show people you’re grateful for an opportunity, but it’s a whole other thing to openly flirt. I tell myself; Julius is not flirting. He’s being nice.
“Okay, what’s next?” he asks when we get to my dressing room. I honestly hadn’t thought about what we’d do next and figured he would be so angry with me he wouldn’t want to talk to me again.
“Well . . .” I pause and think about what we could do with the rest of the day. I had planned on taking a nap and trying to find a last-minute opening for a massage. “Shopping,” I blurt out. “Yeah, we’re going shopping. You get to see how I normally spend my day.”
“What do you mean?” he asks and then shakes his head. “Shopping, really? You want to take me to the mall?”
I shrug because I don’t know what I want to do, except I don’t want our date to end. This new Julius is fun to be around. “You know I am usually on the evening and nighttime news with Aiden, Selena, and Arthur, right?” he nods. “I made special arrangements today for all of this to happen. When I told them my idea, they wanted to be part of your broadcast, so we all swapped with our afternoon team.”
“I still don’t get where shopping comes into all of this?”
“It’s part of my routine. Once a week, I go into Meyers and work with a personal shopper on the new items they’ve received. They fit me for my wardrobe, find things they think I’ll look good in, and then I usually meet Peyton for lunch before I go to the station to work.”
Julius reaches for my hand. He squeezes it and doesn’t let go. “If I promise to go shopping with you later, can we do something else?”
I don’t know what else to do. “Um . . .”
Julius takes my hand in his and squeezes it. “Do you trust me?”
No, the hell I don’t.
“Okay, wrong choice of words.” He laughs. “Tell me this. Have you done much sight-seeing?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I stay mostly by our complex.”
He sighs. “I figured. Let me take you to my favorite place in the city.”
At this point, I have nothing to lose. It’s not like something is going to happen to me. Everyone knows I’m with him today. “Okay, show me.” My statement is open-ended, and by the surprised look in Julius’s eyes, he didn’t miss the subtle innuendo.
We walk to the parking garage, and thankfully, no one stops on our way out. I’m excited to see where we are going. When we arrive at my car, Julius holds his hand out. “What?”
“I should drive.”
“Why, because you’re a man?”
He chuckles. “Believe me, no. I am all for equal rights. I know where we’re going, and it’s easier for me to drive than give you directions. The one-way streets can really mess someone up.”
Ugh, I hate that he’s right. I dig in my purse and hand him my keys. My hand lingers in his palm for longer than necessary, but I don’t care. He’s watching me, and I, him. There’s an energy between us, one I felt when I first met him but also ignored. I’m not sure I want to ignore it anymore.
Julius walks me to the passenger side of my car and presses the fob to unlock the door like he’s done it a million times. I know it’s a fob, and most are standard, but I like that he’s so confident in what he’s doing. He waits until I’m settled and then closes the door and again goes around the front of the car so I can follow him. The sight of Julius in khaki pants is genuinely something to behold.
He gets behind the driver’s seat and asks me how to adjust it. “There’s a thingy on the side.”
“A thingy?”
I shrug. “I don’t know what else to call it.”
“Thingy, it is,” he says as he reaches down by the door. The seat slides back and he adjusts the seat one more time before pressing the push start button.
Julius pulls out of the parking lot and turns away from the downtown area. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I thought we’d head toward the stadium or the waterfront. He continues to drive on the side street. Multi-colored leaves hang from trees, creating shadows with the sun. It’s a beautiful day out. If I had paid attention to the forecast I delivered last night, I would’ve planned a picnic or something. Julius was right, shopping can wait.
We make idle chit chat during the thirty-minute drive. He asks me what I like best about my job, and I tell him that I’m fascinated with the weather. I pose the same question to him, and he tells me his career is fun, for the most part, but that he loves his teammates and the atmosphere around game day.
“Did you always want to be in the NFL?”
“Yeah, for sure,” he says as he maneuvers a turn. “My dad, brother, and I would watch football all the time, and my brother and I would always toss the ball back and forth. In high school, I was a standout player, in basketball too, but football got me to college for free, and then to the NFL.”
“Do you ever wonder what you’d be if you didn’t have sports?”
Julius thinks for a moment and then shakes his head. “Not really. It’s always been my life. What about you?”
“Oh, well, let’s see. I wanted to be a princess, of course. Thought about being a lawyer because I used to love being on the debate team.”
“How did you end up being a meteorologist?”
“My junior year of high school, I took a media class. We had our own television station, mostly for announcements and other important school things like the sports scores, weather, birthdays, and such. I worked the lunch gig and figured out I loved being in front of the camera.”
Our conversation ends when we pull into a parking lot. Julius puts my car into park and pushes the ignition button to turn the vehicle off.
“Where are we?”
“This is an observatory.” He gets out and rushes over to my side, opening the door for me. Julius extends his hand, waiting for me to take hold. I do. The gravel parking lot crunches under us until we reach a paved path. “This is my favorite place in the city.”
“I expected you to take us to the stadium.”
He looks at me od
dly and then shakes his head. “I come here when I need to think.”
When we get to the ticket booth, Julius leans down and has a hushed conversation with the clerk. I step back and let Julius conduct his business. Every few seconds, Julius looks over his shoulder and smiles at me. As I stand there, waiting for him, it dawns on me that this is precisely where I want to be right now.
Sixteen
Julius
I’m a fool for ever thinking such asinine things about Autumn. Not once today has she been the person I tried to make her out to be. I feel as though I need to apologize repeatedly for everything I said and did to her, especially making her feel like less of a person. I only hope she can forget the guy she met and like the real me because I like her a lot, even though I shouldn’t.
I love that Autumn isn’t from Portland. It gives me an excuse to see her again because I’m officially dubbing myself her tour guide. I’m going to show her everything I can when our schedules allow for it. I can’t wait to take her to the beach. First, we’ll go to Seaside, and then we’ll drive south to Lincoln City or north to Astoria. I hope she’s a fan of Goonies so I can show her the house where they filmed the movie. It’s a bold assumption to think she even likes the beach. The mountains might be more her thing, although if I remember correctly from one of my numerous eavesdropping conversations, she’s not a huge fan of the cold. Either way, I am looking forward to getting to know her more and am thankful she bid on me. Even though I know she did it out of spite. Whatever she would’ve had me do today, I would’ve taken the punishment like a champ because I deserve it after the way I treated her.
Throughout the drive to the observatory, I watch her as she takes in the scenery. She loves the old houses and how they’re strategically built on a hill, and how the landscaping is mainly made up of roses and other perennials that have held onto their petals into the fall. Every so often, I have the urge to reach over and take her hand. I’ve done it a couple of times today and love the way her hand feels in mine. Except, I shouldn’t feel this way. My heart should be cold and dead inside after the things Elena has done. It should also feel a pang of longing for my wife, and it doesn’t. My heart jumps with excitement when I think about Autumn. It has since the night I met her on the balcony, and the rapid beating I feel when I’m with her—I can’t ignore. I don’t even want to, but a part of me is leery of pursuing anything. What if Autumn has an issue with the fact that I haven’t filed for divorce yet? I might if I was in her shoes. Maybe this is the push I need to get the paperwork filed, and the process started. My future could be sitting next to me, and if I don’t act accordingly, I could lose her. Something deep down tells me I don’t want to lose Autumn.
As soon as I pull into the observatory parking lot, it hits me that she might have been here. I know I asked if she’s done any sightseeing, but I never considered the weather station not far from here. She’s probably been up here a million times already. I don’t give her time to tell me she has. I’d rather not know and continue with my plan. After I park and shut off her car, I get out and go to her side to open her door. This is another excuse for me to hold her hand, which she doesn’t seem to mind.
When I get to the ticket booth, Autumn lets go and walks to the edge of the pavement. I wish it were spring right now because the colorful roses are a sight to behold. “Good afternoon,” I say when the clerk sits down. “I’d like to rent the upstairs of the observatory for an hour, please.”
“We only allow this with a reservation and a monetary donation.”
I nod, knowing this policy as I’ve done this more often than I care to admit. I pull out my wallet and slide my credit card through the slot. “How much on very short notice.”
The clerk looks at me, probably wondering if I’m serious. He has no idea how serious I am. He tells me he has to ask his manager and leaves me standing there. I use this time to spy on Autumn, to see what she’s doing. I peer around the bend, catching a glimpse of her standing there, facing the city. I wonder what is going through her mind right now. Is she in awe of what she sees or completely bored?
“My boss said the minimum on such a short notice is two thousand.”
“You have my card,” I remind him. The clerk's eyes go wide. Again, I want the time alone with Autumn and am willing to pay for it. He processes my credit card and tells me his manager has gone up to close the observatory for us and says we can go up now if we’d like. “Thank you,” I say as I take my card and receipt from him and head toward Autumn.
She’s standing not far from me, resting against one of the columns. The way the sun beams down onto her hair makes her dark waves look red. I don’t know how long I stand there, watching her, but when she turns around and sees me, I swear her eyes light up with excitement. I’m not going to tell myself otherwise because I don’t want self-doubt to dampen my mood right now. I’ll save those moments for later when I’m in bed, staring at my ceiling and asking myself what the hell I am doing right now. Pursuing the woman in front of me, that’s what.
We both take steps toward each other, and both pause at the same time. Autumn throws her head back in laughter, and instantly another image comes to mind, of her on top of me and my hands cupping . . . I shake my head to clear my thoughts. This is not the time to let my imagination run wild. Autumn steps forward again, and this time I stay where I am.
“How do you like the view?” I ask her.
“It’s amazing. I have so much exploring to do. I want to see every part of the city.”
I like this idea, more so because I want to be the one to show her everything, all of the Pacific Northwest if she’d allow me to.
“Come.” I motion toward the building. “There’s something I want to show you.” I hold my hand out, and thankfully she takes it. At the entrance, I hand over our tickets and give Autumn her stub. “I don’t know about you, but I save all of mine.”
“Me too,” she says. Her smile is bright and infectious. “What is this place?” she asks as soon as we step into the elevator. Because we are already high above the city, we only go up three floors. I stall on my answer until the doors open, and we’re in a glass room. Her audible gasp brings an insurmountable satisfaction to me.
“Oh my . . .” Autumn walks to the farthest wall. I hang back, taking in her pure enjoyment. “This is incredible.” She rests her hands on the railings and looks out over the city. I stand behind her, softly pressing my front to her back and breathing in her perfume. God, she smells fucking amazing. Like sunshine, happiness, and the beach.
“This is my favorite place. Lately, I’ve come here a lot to think. It’s peaceful and quiet, but you can see every aspect of the city from here, and I love it.” I angle her in a slightly different direction and point. “There’s the stadium, and if you look over here.” I move her again. “You can see the antenna from the station.”
“How do you know where everything is? I feel so lost, yet oddly at peace.”
I chuckle. “Lots of practice.”
She eyes me warily, calling my bluff.
I give in rather quickly and pull my phone out and tap the screen a few times. I hand it to her. “Hold it up to the glass and tap a section on the screen.” She does as I say, and the map changes. It now shows her exactly where the landmarks and businesses are.
“I’m surprised Leon hasn’t brought you up here yet.”
“Why would he?” she asks as she moves around the room, tapping on my phone. Every so often, she finds a place and tells me about it. I don’t have the heart to tell her I have the cityscape memorized, so I play along, although something tells me she knows.
“Because there’s a weather station not far from here. I figured you would spend a lot of time there.”
She drops her hands, and her eyes squint with confusion. “There’s a weather tower?”
Had Leon seriously not told her about this? I nod and reach for my phone but end up taking her hand instead and walking her to the window. “Point in that direction, and you
’ll see it.”
Autumn does as I say and mutters, “What the fuck,” when she sees it.
“I can take you there if you’d like.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll ask Leon about it. Maybe he forgot.”
Let’s hope he did. I may not know anything about reporting the weather, but I think a weather tower might be necessary for a meteorologist.
Autumn and I continue to walk around. I stay close to her, using every opportunity I can to touch or brush up against her. When she asks where a particular place is, I stand behind her to show her and do everything I can to hide the fact that I’m giddy as fuck when she leans into me.
When she has looked over every inch of the city, I expect her to tell me she’s ready to go, but she doesn’t. She rests her head on my shoulder and sighs. “You’re right. I feel at peace up here. It’s like the view washes away your worries.”
“During the summer, it’s crazy, though. Lots of tourists and summer camps. The zoo and science center aren’t far from here either.”
“I want to go to the zoo. I hear it has one of the best elephant exhibits.”
“It does. Roxy loves the elephants. They have a program where you can spend the night in the zoo, like a giant slumber party. I did it with Reggie a year ago and stayed awake all night long. I don’t care that the animals are locked up. I feared for our lives that night.”
“But you’d do it all over again for Roxy?”
“Without a doubt. Being their dad is the best part of my life.”
“I feel like I should ask you about your ex, but then I feel like it’s none of my business. I’m torn.”
I shift slightly, so I’m in front of Autumn, and she’s leaning against the railing. “There’s time,” I say. “Or at least I’m hoping there’s time. I’m having an amazing time with you, Autumn. I want to see you again.”
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