I walk back into the living room and hear Autumn’s voice. I know I’m hearing things because it’s not time for her segment. I grab the remote and turn the volume up on the T.V. There’s a woman who looks identical to Autumn, standing in the rain.
“What the hell?” I listen as she tells viewers about a hurricane bearing down on Houston, Texas. She’s standing next to another reporter. The man comes into the camera, and by the way, he looks at her, I just know. He places his arm around her and then speaks to the camera.
“Autumn, what do you think about your first storm coverage?”
“It’s amazing, Camden. I’m so happy to be back in my home state. I’m praying Hurricane Wanda doesn’t do any severe damage when it makes landfall.”
“I think everyone is praying for that right now. Skip, back to you.”
“Thank you, Camden and Autumn. We’re praying for you.”
My eyes deceive me. There is no way this segment is live. I saw Autumn two days ago. I know a lot can happen in forty-eight hours, but I’d like to think she would tell me if she planned to leave.
Did she move away and not tell me?
I reach for my phone and call Noah, who picks up on the second ring. “Hey, did Autumn move?” My question is blunt. There is just no way to sugarcoat this.
“I’ll let you talk to Peyton.”
“Hi, Julius.”
“Hey,” I say. “What’s going on?”
Peyton sighs. “The Weather Channel is interested in Autumn. She’s in Texas covering the storm for them.”
“And the guy she’s with—that’s her ex, right?”
Peyton is quiet for a moment. “Yeah, Camden Porter. He got her the gig.”
“Fuck,” I mutter and then apologize to Peyton for cursing. “This is all my fault. If I had—”
“Nothing’s your fault, Julius. An opportunity came up, and she took it. You should really talk to her about it though.”
“I won’t tell her you told me.”
“It’s okay if you do. Leon knows she’s there. It’s not a big secret.”
It may not be a secret to everyone else, but she kept it from me. “Thanks, Peyton.” We hang up, and I start to pace. There are two ways to approach this, guns blazing with the woe-is-me- factor, or I can be the not-your-boyfriend-but-wants-to-be-supportive-guy. The latter because I need Autumn to know I fully support her, even if it means she’s leaving town.
“Fuck,” I say aloud. “Why did I wait so long to move things forward?” There isn’t anything I can do about my actions; I can only make better decisions moving forward.
Instead of texting Autumn, I decide to call her. Chances are, she won’t answer, but whatever. It’s worth a shot. By the fifth ring, I’m ready to hang up.
“Hello?” she’s breathless, and my heart sinks because all the wrong thoughts are going through my mind right now.
“Hey, Weather Girl. I just saw you on television.”
“Oh my, I’m a mess. Did I look okay?”
“You’re beautiful, Autumn. When are you coming back?”
“Miss me already?” she asks.
“I do.” As much as I want to ask her why she didn’t tell me she was leaving, I don’t say anything. I’m going to play it cool. There could be several reasons why and each one is likely valid to her. Hell, maybe she forgot or thought she did or figured I’m too stuck in my head to pay attention.
“Once the storm passes. It’s slow-moving so probably a few more days.”
“Please be safe. I worry about you out there in that mess.”
“I will . . .” she fumbles with her phone, and I hear a male voice in the background.
“Ah, my competition is there,” I say jokingly, even though I’m far from joking.
Autumn laughs. “No one can compete with you, Julius. I gotta go back on air. Watch me, okay?”
“I will. Text me when you can chat again.”
“I will. Good night, Julius.” Autumn hangs up but her words linger in my mind. What did she mean when she said no one can compete with me? Does that mean what I want it to mean? That she wants to be with me or is it some other reference because of who I am. Either way, it’s going to plague me until I can get a solid answer.
Thirty-Three
Autumn
When I come down the escalator and into the luggage area, I hear my name. I turn and see a bouquet of balloons rushing toward me. At the speed the balloons are moving, I expect to see bodies flying, but people are moving out of the way for the tiny bulldozer heading my way. When Roxy breaks through the crowd, tears well, and I crouch down, waiting for impact. I didn’t expect Julius to come to the airport to pick me up. Last night when we spoke, he asked what time I was due in, and I told him because it’s not a secret, and with the way things have been between us lately, I honestly have no idea where we stand. We both have some communication issues we need to work out.
“Ah-um,” she says my name as clearly as she can. Her tiny arms wrap around my neck, and I inhale the scent of her strawberry shampoo. Until now, I didn’t know I missed her, which is stupid because she’s owned my heart from the day I met her in the park. There’s something about Roxy that just stays with you.
After a long moment, I finally tell her that I missed her. I’m honest with Roxy about my feelings. She has my heart wrapped around her little finger. I spent so much time worrying about her father that I completely opened my heart to her, and now I’m probably in trouble. I realized, while in Texas, my clock is ticking. I know I still have time. I’m young, and my career is taking off, but if I’m going to pursue something with Julius, we need to discuss future children.
I set her down and make eye contact with her father. Damn. My mouth waters at the sight of him. He looks hot in his black slacks, and his naturally tanned skin is like a beacon against the white untucked button-down shirt. Instant flashes of our one night together flash in my mind. How can one night stay with me for so long? My fingers twitch, forcing me to make a fist, or else I’m going to reach for the hem of his shirt and pull him to me. I’ve missed the way his body feels against mine. I didn’t know how much until I saw Camden. As soon as he hugged me, I knew I was in love with Julius Cunningham.
Days ago, I had it in my mind that I was going to become a travel weather person like Camden. This was my dream job, and it dangled in front of me like a piece of cake. Only Julius and the kids weren’t there. I broke down and told Cam about Julius on my first night there over dinner when he tried to hold my hand. Cam’s expression told me everything I needed to know. He wanted me there because he wanted to be with me when I wanted to be in Portland, curled up on the couch with the cutest little girl I know, sleeping in my arms. Once I started talking about the Cunninghams, I couldn’t stop.
Julius leans in, wraps both arms around me, and we hug. As much as I want to resist, I can’t. I breathe him in and get lost in the scent of his cologne. Spice, woodsy, and clean. He makes me weak and fogs my mind up, and that’s a serious problem. I’m already in too deep but need to find a way to pull back until Julius has his life figured out. It pains me to think this because I want to be with him, but not at the expense of my sanity. The baggage he carries—it’s a lot. It’s more than someone my age should get involved with. The thing is, I’m not sure I can walk away with my heart intact.
“I’m happy you’re back,” he whispers. His lips linger against my skin, and I shiver.
I test the waters to see where he’s at. “I missed you, Julius.”
His arms tighten, and he lifts me off the ground. He buries his face in my neck, and his hand cradles my head. “I’m so sorry, Weather Girl.” He’s sorry for what, exactly? Elena? The ghosting? The entire situation? “We’ll talk later, okay?”
I nod against him, and he sets me down. Julius takes my bags from me, and without hesitation, I reach for Roxy’s hand.
“Do you have other luggage?” he asks.
“No, only my carry-ons.” Roxy skips next to me, laughing each time a
balloon hits her dad’s head. I try to wrangle the bouquet in my free hand to keep them from hitting other people. Thankfully, most of the travelers are giving us a wide berth. I’m surprised people aren’t pointing and saying Julius’s name or bugging him for his autograph.
We make it to Julius’s SUV without any run-ins with fans, and we didn’t lose any of the balloons. He takes them from Roxy and tells her to climb into the back seat while trying to get the mylar assortment tucked safely in the back cargo space.
“When Roxy suggested balloons, I thought they were a good idea. I regret my decision making,” he says with a shake of his head.
“I can sit in the back and hold them down so you can drive,” I offer, but Julius shakes his head.
“I want you next to me.”
“Julius,” I pause after saying his name. I’m not sure what I want to say or what needs to be said. I had no idea he planned to pick me up, which I love, by the way. But I don’t know where we stand. I don’t have a clue as to what’s going on in his head. I want to know. I want him to be an open book and tell me everything, so we’re on the same page.
“Don’t,” he says as he steps forward. He curls his fingers around mine and brings my hand to his mouth. “If you’re going to tell me to take a hike—which I deserve—please wait until we’re back at the apartment. I don’t want that tension to be between us on the ride downtown. If you’re willing to hear me out—which I hope you are—just know that I plan to tell you everything once we’re home. The kids and I would like to have dinner with you, and if you’re up for it, I’d like for us to talk after they’ve gone to bed. I suspect you’re probably tired, so I promise not to keep you long.”
Julius and I make eye contact, and I can feel the sincerity in his words. I close the small gap that exists between us and press my lips to his. “I meant it when I said I missed you.”
“I missed you more,” he says. Julius guides me to the passenger side of his car and holds the door for me until I’m safely inside. I turn and rest my elbow on the console. Roxy is swinging her legs back and forth, her little ankles hitting the edge of her car seat.
“What’s for dinner?” I ask her.
She smiles and then lets out the cutest giggle. “Chicky nuggies.”
“My favorite,” I tell her.
The entire drive to the complex is a full-on karaoke session of little kid songs. Most of them I know from watching various programs while growing up and happily join in, but some are new to me. Julius surprises the hell out of me when he belts those out.
After a quick pit-stop to drop my bags and balloons off, Roxy dubs my apartment the best place ever. I happen to like where I live and love the view, but this little girl lives in a freaking penthouse. I suppose when you see your own place, day in and day out, something different is like a shiny new toy.
When we get to Julius’s, I’m shocked to find out that Reggie isn’t there. Julius shrugs and says, “He’s staying at his mom’s.” I can hear the hurt in his voice and know there is more to the story and figure Julius will tell me if it’s something he wants me to know.
In the kitchen, he busies himself with cooking the dinosaur chicken nuggets and a tray of fries. It’s not my ideal dinner, but Roxy loves it. Besides, I ate so many tacos while in Houston, I honestly can’t stomach much more food. While Julius tends to the food, I follow Roxy to her room. It’s as big as mine with a white four-poster bed, light pink canopy, and matching comforter. In the corner, there is a life-size cutout of her father, carrying a football.
“Dat Daddy,” she says, pointing to him.
“Did he buy it for you?”
She nods and laughs. “He funny.”
“Yeah, he is.”
Roxy continues to show me around her room. After she points out all her toys, she tells me to sit at her table and pours me a glass of tea. She scolds me when I pick my cup up though, because my tea is very hot, and I’m going to burn myself. I wait for what I think is an appropriate toddler time before picking it up again.
“This is delicious,” I tell her.
“I make it.”
“Your tea skills are perfect.”
“Fanks,” she blushes. “Hab dis.” Roxy hands me a plastic chocolate chip cookie. I take my pretend bite and tell myself to think that it's real. Maybe if I do this, I can kick my sugar addiction.
“Ahem,” Julius clears his throat from the doorway. He stands there, leaning against the jamb, with his hands in his pockets and one ankle crossed over the other. His once buttoned-up shirt is now partially open, with one side of the shirt dipping just enough that his pec is showing. I swallow that hard plastic pretend lump of a cookie and try to force a smile, but I probably look like some drool bucket trying not to get caught staring at the man in front of me.
“I hate to interrupt your party, but dinner is ready, and Miss Roxy needs to go to bed soon.”
She groans but grabs my hand and does her best to try and help me up from the chair. I’m going to have to work on my core strength if I’m going to have any more tea parties. Roxy holds my hand until we’re in the kitchen at their four-person table. It’s small, but I know Julius has a bigger, more formal one in the other room.
Formal.
The word plays in my mind. Everything about now feels incredibly formal. Almost like Roxy is putting on a show. To give me a glimpse of what life would be like here. Did Julius put her up to this? Or is she doing this because she likes me and I’m a guest in her home? I’m going with the latter because I can’t imagine Julius using his child to get my attention.
The three of us sit around the table, sharing a plate of nuggets and fries. Julius set out different dipping sauces and gave Roxy her very own bowl of Ranch. When I looked at it questioningly, he shook his head and said, “double-dipper.” That’s all I needed to know.
While Julius bathes Roxy and puts her to bed, I sit on his balcony with a glass of wine in my hand. I check my phone for the first time since I landed. Camden has called twice and texted twice as much. He wants me to take the job and is confident I’ll have an offer by tomorrow morning. As enticing as the opportunity is, I don’t know if I’m ready. For one, it means moving. My mom texted to see if I made it home safely. She is another person I needed to check in with, and finally, Peyton, she wants to know if I’ve spoken to Julius. I’m about to reply to everyone when Julius steps out onto his balcony, only now, the white shirt that looks so good against his skin is completely undone.
“Sweet Jesus,” I mutter and quickly take a sip of my wine in hopes Julius didn’t hear me correctly and will have forgotten to ask me to repeat myself.
“We should talk,” he says and motions toward the living room. He waits for me to step inside and then closes the door behind us. “It’s a nice night, but the neighbors like to eavesdrop, and I’d rather keep my personal life personal.”
“I understand,” I tell him.
Julius sits down beside me and takes my hand in his. “I’m just going to talk because I have so many thoughts running through my head right now.”
“Okay.” I turn to face him and pull my legs up onto the couch.
“Elena and I are getting a divorce. I’m not interested in rekindling anything with her. She showed up here because she saw the writing on the wall when the process server handed her the papers, and she thought she could sweet-talk her way back in. The shit she pulled when you were here, unacceptable. I’ve told her to apologize, but don’t hold your breath.”
“It’s not just Elena,” I say and then shake my head. “I’m sorry, please continue.”
“No, you’re right. It’s not. It’s me too and the panic I felt. At first, I thought everything going on was second-guessing, when in fact, it was relief. I wasn’t nervous about filing for divorce. I was nervous because I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t worth this headache. It seems that’s all I’ve been, and I couldn’t change it. I should’ve never gone two days without talking to you, especially after we spent the night togeth
er. That was the biggest mistake I’ve made in a long time. Complete stupidity. If I could get that week back, I would. If I could make it so Elena didn’t randomly show up and say shit to you, believe me, I’d erase it all. I’m an idiot. There really isn’t another way to sum this up.
“I’m not sure how I can make any of this up to you, but I’m willing to try. I want you, Autumn. I want us to walk down the street, holding hands. I want people to know we’re together. I want our families to have Christmas together. Most importantly, I want you in my life as my girlfriend. I know we have this age difference. The guys on the team tease me, calling me your grandfather, but I’m not that much older. You were just in high school when I graduated college. It’s a doable difference.”
I laugh at his hang up when it comes to our age.
“What I’m saying is, if you’re with me, there’s this role you’ll fall into. Roxy loves you and she’ll start seeing you as a parent if we’re going to be together. If that’s not something you want, please tell me. I don’t want to hurt her. Her mother is doing enough of that.”
“What do you mean?”
Julius sighs heavily. “Elena wants to take Reggie back to California with her.”
“And not Roxy?”
He nods and my mouth drops open. “I’m not even okay with Reggie going but he wants to, and I told him he could choose. Elena . . . she’s not doing this in his best interest, only hers. If she has him, I have to pay her child support. Because she had an affair, she doesn’t receive any other support from me. This is the only way.”
“And she’ll use her son to get it?”
Julius shrugs. “She’s desperate and right now my lawyer says I should let Reggie go. I’ll make sure he has a nanny available because I’m not confident his mom will take care of him.”
“What about his football team?”
“Elena told him they’d stay here until the season is over and then they’ll go back. Elena is living a few floors down, which by the way, is not to her standards. We have a mediation appointment tomorrow to hammer out some details of the divorce settlement.”
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