I finally exhaled. It felt like the first time I had really taken a full breath since Kai fell. Kai looked at me.
“How long have we been down here?” Kai asked.
“A while, over an hour for sure, maybe closer to two. It’s hard to say.”
Kai’s face was calm, no traceable panic to be found.
“Briggs will come for us, don’t worry,” he said.
“Okay, I won’t,” I lied.
“Did you...did you pray for me?” Kai asked, as if looking back at a distant memory.
I nodded. “Yes, two big things for me today: prayer and tears.”
Kai reached his arm up and pulled my face down to meet his. Though brief, this kiss held new meaning for both of us.
As I raised my head back up he said, “You’re my hero, Tori. You saved my life today.”
My eyes grew blurry again, because I knew it hadn’t been me at all.
TWENTY-FIVE
I could see that Kai was getting stronger, but I also knew the standard protocol of treatment for reactions like his. He still needed an additional dose of antihistamine in his body. That would help to prevent any longer lasting allergic reactions.
Judging by his current state, the two doses of epinephrine he had been given had done their job. He was recovering well, but there was no way to be certain he was in the clear while on the forest floor. I wasn’t willing to take any chances.
“I feel well enough to get up and start the climb to the top,” Kai said.
I stared at him, mouth gaping.
“You’re telling me, that if a patient of yours had just been in anaphylactic shock, that you’d let him climb up the side of a mountain two hours after treatment?”
Kai’s mouth became a tight thin line, his eyebrows narrowed at me.
He wasn’t used to feeling helpless, or being a patient. That much was obvious.
“I didn’t think so,” I said crossing my arms over my chest.
“I know Briggs will find us, Tori. I just think we could be a little more proactive than just sitting down here, waiting,” Kai said.
“Then let me go...I’ll start the climb up,” I said, zipping up my hooded sweatshirt that Kai had forced me to take back from him.
“Absolutely not. If I don’t go, you don’t go,” he said.
I sat down hard, wincing as my sore backside made contact with the ground. I pulled my knees up to my chest. Kai turned slightly now to lie on his side. Apart from some bruising, his slide down the mountain hadn’t seemed to affect him much. I was grateful he didn’t have any broken bones, that would have made our rescue much more complicated. I laid my head down on my knees, feeling Kai’s hand wrap around my ankle.
“I still can’t believe you flung yourself off the side of a mountain for me?”
I lifted my head, “Well you were going down it pretty quickly yourself, there fireman.”
He laughed softly. “I was unconscious. You did it willingly and you hate heights,” Kai said.
I looked out again at the forest that was our makeshift home and thought about his words. I knew why I had done it, and nothing short of God himself could have stopped me.
I could sense he wanted to say more, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear what more was. More would complicate things, more would come with expectations. More would change us.
I pulled out of his grip and walked to a place with good footing, calling out again for help. Finally, it was met with an answer.
“Briggs! Briggs! We’re here...can you hear me?” I called.
I heard a faint reply and tried again. Soon the sound drew closer, cutting the tension in my body with the sweet knife of relief. About five minutes later, Briggs appeared with Andrew, Skyler and Caden.
I ran to him and hugged him the second he was steady, dismissing my usual inhibitions.
“Hey there good lookin’, glad you called out. We passed this place on the trail several times already,” Briggs said, lowering me down and looking at Kai.
“What happened to you, bud?” Briggs asked, going to Kai’s side and kneeling down beside him.
“Bee,” Kai said.
Visibly alarmed, Briggs turned to look at me. He swallowed hard. “Did you use his EpiPen?”
“Yes, but we need to get him some Benadryl, or some other kind of antihistamine back at camp. He was in full anaphylactic shock by the time I got to him,” I said.
Briggs looked to Kai again, “Must be nice having a trauma nurse for a girlfriend, eh pal?”
“She’s a hero, Briggs. She threw herself down the cliff after me and then had to figure out what had happened. I was unconscious,” Kai said.
The three guys with Briggs all had a comment or two regarding Kai’s statement, but I busied myself, trying to find a good walking stick for the climb up. I didn’t respond to their praises. There wasn’t time for that.
“How should we move him?” I asked, looking at Briggs.
I tried to ignore the look in his eyes when he answered me, “We’ll do our best to carry him. There are four of us, so it will just be a matter of footing issues, not strength.”
“Okay...well let’s go,” I said, standing with my new walking stick in hand.
“Alright gentlemen, you heard the lady, let’s get on with it.”
**********
Kai argued and grumbled all the way up the cliff, not wanting to be carried or helped. This was a side of him I had never seen. Finally, though, Briggs put an end to it. He threatened to drop him right then and there if he didn’t shut up and let them do their job. Kai was quiet after that.
My new walking companion proved to be a great help and I found myself almost enjoying the climb up—almost. My backside, which had taken a beating on the way down, burned something fierce with each step.
Finally, we were at the top.
Kai stood on his feet then. He seemed to be pretty steady now, but he remained supported at all times as we headed down the trail to camp. I walked behind them.
After Briggs rotated out of the mix, taking a break from bearing Kai’s weight, he waited for me to catch up. We walked together quietly for some time. As we passed the lake, Briggs finally spoke.
“You saved his life. You know that, right? He would have died if you hadn’t done...if you hadn’t done what you did for him,” he said.
“You would have done the same, Briggs,” I said.
Briggs stopped me, his grip firm on my shoulder. Looking at my face, his eyes grew intense.
“What you think someone else might have done doesn’t matter. They weren’t there...you were. You chose to go after him at the risk of your own life and it was you who saved him.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I swallowed hard, refusing to cry any more tears now that Kai was safe. I stared at the ground waiting for the moment to pass.
“Thank you, Tori. If there is anything I can ever do for you-”
“You’re a good friend, Briggs. He’s lucky to have you, and we’re both lucky to have him,” I said.
We walked to the end of the trail and into the campground.
All kinds of chaos was unleashed the moment Kai was spotted. Mrs. Julie cried out in relief at the sight of him, busily working to prepare a spot for him to rest in his tent. I found something even better than the oral antihistamine I had hoped for in the first-aid supplies—these EMTs didn’t mess around. They had the steroid shot that Kai would have received at the ER. I was more than relieved.
He was propped into a sitting position by several donated pillows, when I entered his tent. He smiled as I went inside. He rolled his eyes at the sight of the steroid shot, but was a good sport as I administered it. I nestled into his chest and listened to the strong beat of his heart.
It was the best sound I had ever heard.
“That’s gonna knock me out for the night,” he said, regret filling his voice.
“It’s better that way, you need to rest. We’ll still have some time left here tomorrow.” I wrapped my arms ar
ound him and squeezed him tight.
“True, are you going to sleep in here again tonight?” Kai asked.
“I don’t think I have another option, everyone else has a tent-mate...except Briggs-”
“You won’t be rooming with anyone else but me, Pele. I want you here. I’ll be passed out, so you might have to fight for space once you’re in here, but at least you won’t be cold,” Kai said.
“I’m never cold when I’m near you.”
He lifted my chin and kissed me deeply. All my anxieties of the day, all my worries, all my fears were released in that one kiss, and I never wanted it to end. Kai held my face, pushing his mouth away from mine, gently. He moved his lips to kiss my cheek instead, then my forehead, then my chin. My pulse quickened as my desire for his touch intensified.
I opened my eyes to search his face. I wanted to memorize it, to burn this moment into my mind forever.
He was alive. He was safe. God had given him back to me and I’d never forget it. I scooted away from him, determined to let him rest, when he reached for me again, catching just the tips of my fingers.
“Tori...I-”
“Shhh...just rest, Kai. I’m gonna go help Mrs. Julie with dinner. I’ll come and check on you in a bit,” I said.
He nodded reluctantly.
He was asleep within minutes.
I helped with the massive taco feed at dinner, serving each man and woman as they came through the line. I had to beg Mrs. Julie to let me assist her. I continued to keep myself busy with tasks during the dinner conversation. I didn’t want to hear it—much less be a part of it. I had received enough validation for the events of the day, and I was more than done being the focus of questions and commentary.
Due to Kai sleeping in a nearby tent, the regular campfire festivities were cancelled. Poker however, was plan B. It had been set up on the two large picnic tables which were now lit by heavy lanterns on each end.
“Come have some fun with us, Tori,” Briggs said.
“I should probably go check on Kai again,” I said, avoiding his gaze.
“Yes, because a man heavily doped up for the night might suddenly be in need?” Briggs asked, raising his eyebrows at me.
I sighed, “Fine, one game only though, Briggs.”
He smiled and said, “As you wish.”
Briggs was likely the wittiest person I knew, but that also made him fairly annoying at times. He dealt to our table of six and called for Texas Hold-em to be the game of the hour. He knew I had played before as I waved off his entry-level instructions, but what he didn’t know was that Jack had spent a good two summers teaching me everything he knew about the game.
I was no lightweight when it came to cards.
The first two rounds I folded. But on the third round I held out to the bitter end, taking the pot and earning the respect of the men Kai called, his brothers. Three more times I won and three more times fists slammed down on the table in exasperation as I laughed.
“Weren’t you only going to play one game?” Briggs asked me, his tone flat.
“Oh? So now that you know I’m awesome you don’t want to play with me anymore,” I said.
“I already knew you were awesome, but yeah...you’re kinda crampin’ my style,” Briggs laughed.
I stood up from the table and stretched, twisting my back to release the tension. I grabbed a flashlight and walked out past the fire into the inky darkness beyond. I could hear an owl up above and somewhere nearby a group of cicadas hissed. They quieted each time I shifted my weight.
I was alone, and yet my heart was heavy.
Shouldn’t I be happy?
Kai is alive, safe. So why do I feel this way?
Stop Running.
The words finally had a source; I knew that voice.
“Why do you keep saying that? I’ve stopped! I’m getting help now—treatment, even! Isn’t that why Kai’s in my life? To help me trust again—to help me trust in you?”
I kicked some bark near my feet, silencing the cicadas for a minute more.
I searched the sky.
“I don’t know how to know you, God. I’ve...I’ve been on my own for so long that I’ve forgotten how to need you.”
The words were true, but the meaning was far from simple. If I had experienced faith in God this afternoon, then maybe that was the spark that would start the fire.
Maybe there was hope for me after all.
TWENTY-SIX
Kai had slept through the night and was awake before I was. I heard him walking around inside the tent; I snuck several glances his way. I watched as he fished through his bag for a clean set of clothes and a toothbrush.
I kept very still.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, but I wasn’t quite ready to let him in on my secret. The warmth of my cozy cocoon was far too appealing, and so was the sight of Kai this early in the morning.
“You can stop pretending, Tori. I saw you peeking over here a few minutes ago,” Kai said.
“Oh, uh...good morning,” I said a bit sheepishly. He laughed.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
Butterflies took flight in the base of my belly. I’d never grow tired of hearing him say that.
“Are you feeling completely restored today?” I asked.
“Yes, as it turns out I had a very persistent and somewhat annoying nurse yesterday who saw to that.”
“Hmm...She sounds like an excellent professional,” I said.
“Something like that.” He grinned at me and winked.
After stealing a few more moments of bliss, I crawled out of my happy place and stepped into the brisk morning air. Reality was unkind. Zipping up his tent behind me to let him get dressed, I went and did the same.
Mike and Carla had already packed up and were leaving shortly after breakfast. The three guys that had helped carry Kai yesterday—Andrew, Skyler, and Caden, were already fishing at the lake. Mrs. Julie was preparing coffee and eggs as I walked over to the fire, waiting for Kai to join me.
“Good Morning,” Briggs said, handing me a cup of coffee and sitting down beside me.
“Oh, thank you, good morning to you, too,” I said, “Looks like the place is almost deserted. When are you heading back?”
“Probably late afternoon if the weather holds out. I might join the guys fishing down there. I bought all my gear…I might as well use it,” Briggs said with a shrug.
Kai walked over then, bringing me a breakfast plate with eggs and toast.
“Oh, you already have coffee?” Kai asked me.
“Yes, thank you. You have nice friends,” I said, smiling at Briggs.
“Guilty.” Kai slapped Briggs on the shoulder before sitting down next to me.
**********
The plan was to head out a little after two o’clock. Kai had to be back at the station fairly early in the morning. I re-packed my bag and helped him tear down our tents. When I pretended to chuck Stacie’s indoor sleeping bag into the fire, he ran over and ripped it from my hands.
“This, this right here is my new favorite piece of camping gear, but only when it’s brought by you,” he said, winking at me, “Don’t ever get rid of it.”
I blushed and kept working till Kai’s truck was packed and ready to go. Mrs. Julie had made us all sandwiches before she and Chief Max had left for home. Kai and I took one last walk to the lake where we met up with our fishermen friends—Briggs among them.
After many good laughs and stories, it was time for us to go. Kai helped me into the truck and we were off, leaving behind a weekend full of memories—our memories. This camping trip had forever marked my life.
“So I heard you have a few tricks up your sleeve in poker, huh?” Kai said.
“I swear you guys are worse than sorority girls, is there nothing you keep to yourselves?” I asked, laughing.
“Uh, no, not really, especially when it comes to our hot girlfriends.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He laughed, of cou
rse.
We drove again on the same horrid gravel road, but this time I had prepared. I cracked my window and closed my eyes, focusing on the cool wind in my face and hair. I was relieved when I felt the tires hit the smooth, quiet highway.
“Looks like there’s a storm up ahead,” Kai said, pointing out into the distance.
The distant sky was dark and gray—eerie. It was a glaring contrast from the sunshine we had left just an hour prior. My stomach grew uneasy with anticipation. As the wind started to howl, I rolled up my window and shivered instinctively. I hadn’t been in a storm—a Texas storm—since the night of the accident.
“You okay?” Kai asked, taking my hand.
“Yeah…fine.”
“You know, Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away and I was thinking...”
I knew he was talking—probably even asking me questions—but I couldn’t focus on his voice. The clouds ahead were forming into monstrous black masses, and soon they would be overhead. I nodded, trying to stay engaged with him, but after a few minutes, the cab went quiet.
The rain started only seconds after I heard the first crack of thunder. There were no light sprinkles of warning, just hard unforgiving sheets of rain. The force of it was so intense I feared the windshield might shatter.
Kai slowed the truck in order to regain visibility. He glanced back at our gear which was now getting soaked as I clung to the door handle with white knuckles. I could feel my mind shifting.
No, not now. I don’t want to see it...I don’t want to see her!
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Kai gripping the steering wheel with both hands. The truck’s cab had grown dark, the sun, nowhere to be found. I thought I heard him say my name before the hail hit, but I was in a one way tunnel with no way out. I didn’t want to close my eyes; I didn’t want to give in to the memories that were pulling me under, suffocating me.
I was helpless against them.
My chest tightened, restricting the oxygen to my lungs.
I can’t breathe!
My pulse throbbed in my ears, drowning out everything but the relentless beat of the hail. I contemplated my next move as my palms started to sweat. I eyed the lock on the door.
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