by Dilloway, PT
As she looked through her jewelry box for a pair of earrings, Mom opened the door. “Sarah, what’s going on?”
“I have a date.”
“A date? With who?”
“A man I met at the aquarium.” She found a pair of diamond studs she didn’t remember owning.
“Oh, honey, you look so beautiful.”
“I guess.”
“How late do you think you’ll be out with this date?”
“Christ, Mom, not this again.”
“I’m sorry. I suppose you won’t be wanting dinner either.”
“No, he’s taking me out to dinner.” When the doorbell rang, Sarah froze. “That’s him! What do I do?”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, your father will get the door.” Sarah nodded and turned to the mirror. Rosie’s hairdo was already starting to come apart; Sarah scooped a few strands of hair back into place. “Don’t be out too late.”
“Mom, don’t worry.”
“I know. Have a good time.” Sarah kissed Mom on the cheek and then bounded down the stairs. Instead of Melville, she found a woman in a chauffeur’s outfit.
“Mr. Melville will meet you at the restaurant,” the chauffeur said in a New England accent.
“Oh.” She followed the chauffeur out to a stretch limousine and crawled into the backseat. By herself, the back of the limo seemed cavernous and lonely. She sank deeper into the leather upholstery and closed her eyes as the limo glided along the streets of Gull Island.
“Ma’am, we’re here,” the chauffeur said. Sarah opened her eyes and realized she’d slept through the ride. The chauffeur held open the door. Sarah stepped out of the limo and found herself standing in front of the Gull Island Country Club. “Mr. Melville is waiting inside.”
“Thank you.” She went up the front walk, jumping with surprise when a doorman held open the front door. “Sorry.” The maitre d’ showed her through the elegant dining room with its white tablecloths, wood paneling, and soft light coming from a crystal chandelier. Melville looked as out of place in the restaurant chair as in her office. He stood up as she approached and held out her seat.
“You look wonderful,” he said.
“Oh, thanks. So do you.” As he sat down, she took a look around to see how the rich women around her behaved. She unfolded her napkin and tried to remember which fork to use for which course.
She hadn’t been to a country club since she was seven years old. She squirmed the entire night in a lacy white dress with a bow in her hair that made her look like a baby. When the main course of grilled salmon arrived, Sarah made a face, threw down her fork, and crossed her arms. “Sarah Louise, eat your dinner,” Mom said.
“I don’t want to. I want a cheeseburger!” Sarah said.
Mom leaned forward, lowering her voice. “Sarah, eat your dinner this instant or you’re going to get a spanking.”
“I don’t care. I hate this place!” At this, Mom grabbed her by the collar to drag her to the bathroom. Sarah winced at the memory of Mom spanking her in the stall. Afterwards, Mom straightened Sarah’s bow and wiped tears from her eyes. “You stay here until you can behave,” Mom said and left her there. She took off the stupid bow, tossing it in the garbage, and then went back to the stall for the rest of the night until Mom collected her. After that night, Mom and Dad always went to the country club alone, leaving her and Danny with a babysitter.
“Are you feeling all right?” Melville asked.
“I’m fine. Let’s order. How about a bottle of champagne?”
“Yes, good idea.” Melville signaled for the waiter to come over and ordered the most expensive champagne. “Now then, let’s talk about the aquarium.” He began with a detailed analysis of property values in the area and the cost to buy a parcel of land to increase the aquarium’s size. When the champagne arrived, he poured a glass for each of them. “To our new partnership.” They clinked their glasses together and she took a cautious sip.
After he began to discuss building permits, she finished her glass and then poured another. As he went into various architects he knew, she interrupted to say, “You said you dove to the Great Barrier Reef. That must have been really interesting.”
“Yes, of course.” She leaned her chin on one hand as he described the gear used to make the dive and his training with a world-renowned instructor. When the waiter returned to take their orders, she let him order for both of them.
“What kinds of fish did you see?” He ran through an encyclopedic list, describing each type of fish to the smallest detail. By the time her filet mignon arrived, she wanted to get back into the limo and fall asleep again.
She ate her steak with careful bites so she wouldn’t appear unsophisticated to Melville, if he would even notice. Why hadn’t he been this dull back at the aquarium? There he’d seemed warm and charming. Maybe there was something in the country club air to make people dull.
Through the entrees she made interested-sounding noises at the appropriate times and finished off the bottle of champagne, plus two glasses of scotch. His tour of the Great Barrier Reef finally wound down when the waiter came around with the dessert cart. “What would you like?” Melville asked.
“I’d rather skip dessert.”
“A woman like you doesn’t need to worry about one little dessert. Try something.”
She accepted a piece of cheesecake, gulping it down in three undignified bites. She could already see that a future with Melville meant a lifetime of boring restaurants while she listened to him drone on. She should cut her losses now, but after months of celibacy, she wanted to at least make it back to his hotel room.
He was midway through his dive to the Titanic, when she interrupted to suggest, “I’m getting a little tired. How about we go back to your place?”
His face brightened at this. “Yes, I see.” He paid the bill and then escorted her to the limo. Sarah leaned her head against his shoulder as the limousine cruised back to the Gull Island Regency, the island’s only five-star hotel.
In bed she found him just as dull as at the restaurant. Though she had never seen a dick that large before, he seemed to have little idea of how to use it. While she worked, he laid back, doing nothing. Then he came too quickly, leaving her unsatisfied. “Wonderful,” he said before falling asleep.
She laid next to him, staring at the ceiling for over an hour, but he didn’t wake up. Instead, he began snoring with a sound matching his size. She rolled out of bed and found her clothes. After she got dressed, she took one last look at him lying there, so handsome yet suddenly so unappealing. She took the elevator back to the lobby and called for a taxi.
At home, her parents were already in bed. Sarah opened the refrigerator and made a sandwich from leftover ham. She washed it down with a soda, longing for her bottle of bourbon. She opened the freezer to find a pint of triple chocolate ice cream. When some of the ice cream dribbled onto the front of her dress, she didn’t mind; she wouldn’t wear this again anyway.
Chapter 20
After the service on Wednesday night, the church was holding a spaghetti dinner to raise money for a missionary effort in Indonesia. Max wanted to decline, but he knew Pastor Robbins would tell Lindsey, who would in turn bring it up at their next session and threaten to send him back to Gull Island Psych. Visiting hours at the hospital were almost over anyway, so there wasn’t much he could do for Sarah.
He still didn’t know quite where he’d gone wrong with Sam Melville. He’d given Sam money, power, and a substantial penis as Mr. Melville had suggested, but the date had turned into a disaster. Everything had started off so well at the aquarium, but something went wrong at the restaurant.
For the dinner, Pastor Robbins sat him with some of the younger women of the congregation. One was widowed, another divorced, another in college with a fiancée, and another unattached. The unattached woman was named Kelly and about Max’s age who lived above a meat market in Fishtown. He heard none of this from Kelly, but from Pastor Robbins and the others at t
he table while she went to use the bathroom. That Kelly’s mother was blind made everyone seem to think Max and Kelly were destined to be together. For his part, Max listened and nodded, stuffing his mouth with pasta to keep from saying anything.
When Kelly returned to the table, the silence was palpable as everyone seemed anxious for Max to say something. When he only twirled spaghetti around his fork, the widow asked, “So Max, how do you like Gull Island so far?”
Max wondered what Pastor Robbins had told everyone about him. He must have bent the truth by suggesting Max was new to the island. He decided it would be easier to play along than to waste time explaining the truth about where he’d spent the last twenty years. “It’s a nice place.”
“I remember I came here to visit some friends after Harry died and I just fell in love with the island. It’s so beautiful. Water everywhere, not like back in Kansas. Don’t you love the water, Kelly?”
“I can’t swim,” she said in a voice so soft he doubted anyone else at the table heard her.
“There’s always time to learn,” the college girl said.
Silence hung over the table except for the rattling of utensils against plates. “You know what, I just finished the best book yesterday,” the widow said. “It was such a beautiful love story, I used up half a box of Kleenex. The main character was named Harry and he was just like my Harry. I couldn’t believe it, it’s like the author looked right inside my head.”
Max stiffened at the last statement. No one seemed to notice. The divorcee asked for the name of the book and the widow answered. Then she continued, “You see, Harry quits his job on Wall Street after his wife dies and buys a Harley. He starts driving across the country, meeting people and writing what he sees. Then one night he’s going through the desert in Arizona—no, wait, it’s New Mexico—when he finds this girl standing at the side of the road. She has amnesia, so she doesn’t know who she is or how she got out there in the first place. Well, she looks so much like his dead wife that he calls her Jenna—that’s the wife’s name—and they start driving around the state looking for clues. Isn’t it so romantic?”
“My ex would have just left me standing alongside the road. Don never gave a s—” The divorcee stopped herself before uttering the curse word. “He never cared about anyone but himself. It was always him, him, him.”
“My Jackie listens to me,” the college girl said. “Just the other day he came home and asked me what was wrong and listened to me the whole time.”
“Wait until he gets that ring on his finger. Then he’ll turn into a selfish, insensitive pr—” There was another pause before the divorcee continued, “Jerk. It’s like one of those horror movies, Dracula or the Wolfman or something.”
“Well, my Harry always listened to me. He remembered every anniversary and birthday. You know, just before the accident, we were talking about taking a trip like in the book after Linda went off to college. He had all the maps and everything.” The widow began crying and while the others tried to comfort her, Max found himself reviewing Sarah’s date with Sam Melville.
Now he understood the problem. The whole time at the restaurant, Melville had only talked about himself. He’d never once asked Sarah about herself or tried to bring her into the conversation. No wonder the date went sour.
He needed to make someone more caring and sensitive. Someone like Harry, the hero of the book the widow had been talking about. He needed to get to the bookstore. “Excuse me, everyone, but I better get going,” he said.
“Max, we only just started,” the widow said.
“Come on, stay a little longer,” the college student said.
“I really have to go.”
“It’s not because of me, is it?” the widow said.
“No, no, I just have some other things to do.”
“You need a ride?” Kelly asked. Max noticed the silence that descended over the table when she spoke, as if everyone else were holding their breath.
“Well—” He was about to refuse, but then remembered how long it had taken to get a cab last time. The bus would take even longer with all the walking he would have to do to and from the stop. At least if he rode with Kelly he would arrive sooner. “Actually, I could. If it’s not too much trouble.”
“No trouble.” When she took his arm, he noticed she was wearing a thick sweater though it was not cold inside the church or outside. He could only imagine what the other women at the table and Pastor Robbins must be thinking to see the two of them together this way. They’ll probably start sending out wedding invitations, he thought.
She led him out to the parking lot to a car much lower than Lindsey’s SUV. “What kind of car is this?” he asked.
“A Gremlin,” she said. She opened the door for him and he ducked into the car.
“Is it new?” he asked once she took the wheel.
“No, I’ve had it for sixteen years now. My older brother drove it before he went into the navy. I don’t drive a lot. Mostly just to church and back.”
“I see. Can you take me to the Barnes & Noble? Unless it’s too far out of the way,” he said.
“No, it’s fine.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate this.” Her arm brushed against his as she reached for something in the space between them. He heard a click followed by music coming through the speakers. He recognized the song right away as the only piece of popular music he learned to play by ear after he lost his sight. Billy Joel’s “Always a Woman.” His father didn’t care for that kind of music, so Max had to practice the song at Rodney Jackson’s house using the electric keyboard belonging to Rodney’s brother. Max played the tape over and over again, straining to identify each note while imagining Alicia Hauptmann’s reaction when Max played the song for her at her birthday party. The music would express everything he couldn’t bring himself to say. But then, after the weeks of practice, he never got the chance to perform for Alicia.
Max’s fingers twitched as he listened to the song, playing the notes on an imaginary keyboard. He hadn’t listened to the song in twenty years, but he knew he could still play every note. “I’m sorry about the dinner,” Kelly said, interrupting his thoughts. “You’re not the first one they’ve done that to.”
“Really?”
“They’re always trying to fix me up with someone. They think I’m lonely, living with Mother the way I do. I’m not.” Before Max could say anything, she continued, “I remember you from school. I sat two seats behind you in fourth grade. I don’t suppose you remember.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right. You were always more interested in Alicia. She was a lot prettier than me, especially back then.” Max heard the click of a lighter and smelled a cigarette. Air rushed in through a crack in Kelly’s window. “She’s a heart surgeon now in Los Angeles, I think. Developed some kind of new technique they named after her. There was a whole big article in Time magazine about it. She might win a Nobel Prize.”
Max was too stunned to say anything. To think he might have married Alicia, if only his parents had let him go to that party. For a moment he imagined her coming home after a long day of saving lives to hear him play something on the piano to calm her nerves. Then the thought of Conte’s dream and what he’d done to her image obliterated the fantasy. Kelly asked him something, but he didn’t hear the words. “Pardon?”
“I said we’re almost there.”
“Oh. Thanks for doing this.”
“It’s no problem. You want me to go inside with you?”
“No, it’s fine.”
“I think I’ll go in anyway. I’ve never been here before. They probably have a better selection than Mrs. Holloway’s shop.” After she stopped the car, she held open the door for him and took his arm again. “Wow, this place looks so fancy. Like the library over in Seattle.”
When Lindsey took him here, his initial reaction was very similar. By now he’d gotten used to the size of the place and knew his way to the audiobook section without assistan
ce. The clerks at the customer service desk already knew him by name. Today, though, he let Kelly show him the way and pretended as if he’d never been here before. “Are you looking for anything in particular?” she asked.
“That book they were talking about at the dinner.”
“Oh, sure, I think they have that one here. I see it. Better make sure it’s the unabridged version. You don’t want to pay full price for less than the full book.” She rummaged around the boxes for a moment and then pressed one into his hand. “Anything else?”
“That should hold me for now. Thanks.”
She took him through the rest of the store, describing everything she saw and always sounding astonished by the selection. “This place is great,” she said. “I could spend days here.”
“So could I.” As they continued to walk around the store, he started turning his head in the direction of the checkout. He wanted to get home and listen to the book so he could visit Sarah tomorrow morning with a new date for her. Kelly didn’t seem to pick up on his hints, leaving him in one of the cushiony armchairs so she could get a basket. By the time he got back to Midway House, he wouldn’t be able to finish the book tonight.
When Kelly finally took him to the checkout, the cashier said, “Max, you’re running a little late today, aren’t you?”
“I guess so.”
“Just one today?”
“Yes.”
“You brought a friend with you today?”
“I brought him,” Kelly said before Max could answer. The cashier took five minutes to process Kelly’s transaction. He wondered if she would have room for all the books, imagining her apartment above the meat market so filled she and her mother used the books for furniture.
As she drove him home, she said, “There’s something you should know about me.”
“Really?”
“I have a boyfriend of sorts. His name’s Luis. He’s the butcher at the shop.”
“Oh.”