by Dilloway, PT
“Amazing.” Lindsey waded back to the shore and sat down on the beach. As she watched Max float across the water, her eyes widened. “You can walk on water? What else can you do?”
“Pretty much anything.”
“Show me.”
“All right. Don’t be scared. I’m not going to let anything happen.” He wrapped an arm around Lindsey’s waist and took off into the air. She screamed as they zipped across Lake Michigan, going faster and rising higher until they were above the clouds into clear blue sky.
“OK, you made your point. I’m starting to feel a little airsick up here.”
“Sorry.” He flew her back slower, feeling her hands digging into him. “I’m not going to drop you.”
“I’m sure you won’t. I just don’t like flying unless there’s a stewardess to get me liquored up.” When they reached land again, she collapsed onto a rock. He sat next to her to stare at the gray water. “So I suppose this is the sort of thing you’ve been doing with Sarah Gladstone. What exactly have you done with her?”
Max explained the world he had created for Sarah. He described Sarah’s nightmares, his initial attempts to make her happy in a realistic world, the disastrous lovers he created, and then their relationship after he revealed himself. When he finished, Lindsey was silent for a long time. Then she said, “Max, you realize none of this is real. It’s all an elaborate fantasy. By continuing it, you’re only prolonging the suffering for both of you.”
“I’m not prolonging her suffering. I’m relieving it.”
“I know you want to help her, just like you wanted to help me, but you can’t. The world you’ve created for her sounds like a paradise, but it’s a trap. It’s a way to keep her mind from having to deal with the trauma.”
“But she’s in a coma.”
“Yes, and she’ll never wake up if her mind is so engrossed in the illusion that it becomes real to her. If you really want to help end her pain, then let her go.”
“I can’t do that. I love her.”
“If you do, then you’ll do what’s best for her, not what you want for her. Until she faces the reality of what’s happened to her, she’s not going to emerge from that coma and eventually the doctors will pull the plug on her.”
“You’re just jealous of us.”
“Max, I want to help you. But you have to understand she’s going to die unless you let her go.”
“No! You’re just like all the others.” Max began to rise into the air. “I’m not going to let you ruin everything.”
“Max, wait! Come back. Let’s talk about this.”
Max continued rising, the air turning colder in his wake. When he stopped, dark clouds formed all around him, exploding with waves of snow spread by screaming winds that froze the lake in an instant. Before Lindsey could escape into the forest, three-foot drifts hemmed her in.
He shouldn’t have asked for her help. He should have known she was no different than the others. If she woke up, she would make sure he never got to see Sarah again. She would keep him in Gull Island Psych forever while Sarah’s nightmares returned to torment her. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t lose the woman he loved.
The snow now reached up to Lindsey’s neck. She flailed her arms around in an attempt to keep her head above the drifts. “Max!” she called. “Max, don’t do this.”
Max rose higher into the air until she was only a speck of red against the snow. Another minute and the drifts would rise over her head, burying her. Then he would be free of her.
“Max!” Lindsey screamed. Before the snow rose over her head, she said, “Is this what happened to Alberto Conte? And your parents?”
His parents. Maybe they hadn’t died because he got scared. Maybe they had died because he wanted them to die, just like Conte and now Lindsey. He was a monster. “Oh God, no,” he whispered.
As he sank back to the ground, the wind fell silent and the snow melted. Max collapsed onto the beach, resting his head against the sand. “I’m sorry,” he moaned. “I’m sorry.”
***
Lindsey coughed up the last of the melted snow and then tried to catch her breath. The whole world had turned first white, then black, until the snow smothering her melted. She opened her eyes to watch Max, his entire body glowing like a star, crash to the ground. She wanted to help him, but could only lay in the sand like a beached whale to cough up water.
Once she could breathe again, she wobbled to her feet and staggered along the beach to where he rested, sobbing into the sand. She heard him say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident.”
She reached out to put a hand on his back, hoping she didn’t startle him. Just because he had stopped from killing her didn’t mean she was out of the woods yet. “Max? Max, it’s all right. I’m fine. I know you didn’t want to hurt me.”
He looked up at her, tears still running down his cheeks. “I killed them,” he said. “It’s my fault.”
“Max, what happened that night? Did you see into their dreams like mine and Sarah’s?”
Then Lindsey found herself plunged into darkness. For a moment she thought Max was trying to kill her again, until she felt a sleeve brush her face. She must be in a closet.
“This isn’t fair!” a boy’s voice shouted. Lindsey opened the closet door a crack and saw a younger version of Max sag onto his bed. “Why can’t I go?”
Lindsey saw a petite woman with long hair the same color as Max’s in the doorway. “I’m sorry, Max, but I don’t think you’re ready yet for a boy-girl party.”
“Everyone else is going.”
Max’s father came up next to his mother. Except for the light brown hair, he looked identical to the adult Max. “Young man, you know that’s no reason.”
“Alicia’s parents are going to be there. No one’s going to be drinking or using drugs or anything.”
“I don’t trust Alicia’s parents,” his mother said. “That older daughter of theirs got herself pregnant at sixteen.”
“Mom, please, nothing is going to happen. Just let me go for a few minutes, please?”
“I’m sorry, Max.”
“This is because I’m blind, isn’t it? You think I’m a helpless little baby that can’t take care of himself.”
“Of course not—”
“I hate you!” Max screamed. “You’ve always treated me like a baby. I wish you’d just leave me alone.”
Lindsey jumped back as Max’s mother charged forward to slap him across the face. “How dare you say that after everything we’ve done for you!” His mother raised her hand to strike again while Max defiantly looked up at her without touching his cheek. She lowered her hand and then ran from the room in tears.
“Max, go apologize to your mother,” his father said.
“No. I’m not sorry.”
“Fine. You can stay in here until you’re ready to act like a mature person instead of a spoiled child.” Max’s father closed the door, leaving Max alone to bury his head into his pillows. From the closet, Lindsey wanted to comfort Max, but she knew she had to let this run its course for Max to work through the pain of the memory.
Max lay on the bed for hours until Lindsey heard a door across the hall shut. Then Max rolled out of bed and crept to his door. He rested there a few minutes, waiting until his parents fell asleep. After a while he opened the door and crawled across the hallway. Lindsey followed, staying out of sight as Max opened the door to the master bedroom.
His parents slept in a tangle of arms and legs with Max’s mother’s head on his father’s chest. Young Max crawled across the room, taking up station between a dresser and the wall. Lindsey crouched in the doorway, dreading what she suspected would happen next.
The bedroom disappeared, replaced by a lush green hilltop overlooking the harbor. Lindsey found herself hovering over McAlbee Point, before commerce overran the area. Max’s parents sat on a checkered blanket with a picnic basket, enjoying the sunset while a sailboat drifted along the water. Then she smel
led smoke.
Max’s parents drank a toast, oblivious to the fire that had started at the base of the hill. They set aside their wineglasses to kiss passionately while the fire continued burning its way towards them. Lindsey tried to scream a warning to them, but they didn’t hear her.
At the end of the kiss, Max’s mother crinkled her nose. “Do you smell something?” she asked. “It smells like smoke.”
Max’s father must have noticed the smell too; he crawled over to the edge of the hill. Lindsey saw his eyes grow wide as he stared down at the growing inferno ready to swallow McAlbee Point. “Oh my God,” he said.
Max’s father took his wife’s hand and then they scrambled to find some way down, but they were trapped on all sides by fire. “What do we do?” Max’s mother said.
“Someone will see the fire and rescue us,” Max’s father said. “We’ll just have to wait.”
Lindsey searched the sky for Max, but she didn’t see him anywhere. On the ground, his parents huddled together at the base of a tree. “I can’t leave you down here,” his mother said.
“Don’t worry about me. Just climb as high as you can.”
His parents kissed again, a brief yet tender kiss before his father helped his mother into the lower branches of the tree. Then his father took the picnic blanket to swat at the flames climbing the hill. Still the fire kept coming, crawling inexorably to the top of McAlbee Point. Max’s father retreated from the heat and smoke until he stood at the base of the tree. From the branches, Max’s mother screamed.
Then Lindsey saw Max at last. He stood among the flames, not bothered by the heat or smoke, staring at the scene unfolding with a look of shock. Lindsey waited for Max to do something, but he stood in place as his father climbed up the tree to hold his mother before the inferno consumed them both.
When the tree toppled to the ground, McAlbee Point disappeared and Lindsey found herself in the bedroom once more. Max stood in the corner, his body perfectly still. Then he crept forward to the bed, where his parents lay motionless. He ran his hands over their faces, a look of pain coming to his face at the realization they were both dead.
He brushed past Lindsey as he raced down the hall to the kitchen. His fingers clawed at the cabinets and appliances, knocking dishes to the floor. He found the door for the pantry and collapsed inside. Lindsey followed him, sitting next to him while he cried.
“Max, it’s all right. It was an accident,” she said.
“I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t.” Max sniffled and then turned to her. “Maybe I didn’t want to stop it. What if I wanted them to die? Maybe that’s why they didn’t wake up. I wouldn’t let them.”
“No, that’s not true. You were just an angry kid. You wanted to teach them a lesson. You didn’t mean for anything bad to happen.” As she said the words, she knew she meant them for herself as much as for Max. She had never intended for Daddy’s car to go off the road into the ravine. She had just been angry with him. Just an angry, stupid kid. “Max, you can’t keep hiding from the past. You have to let go of this guilt you’ve been carrying around for twenty years and start living in the real world.”
“I can’t.”
She took Max into her arms. “Don’t worry, Max, I’m going to help you through this. You don’t have to face this alone anymore.”
Chapter 30
Pastor Robbins sat down in the backseat of Lindsey’s Explorer next to Max. “Thanks for your help,” Lindsey said. “The next time the church is holding a fundraiser, you can put Max and I down for a big donation.”
“If this helps get our star pianist back, I’m more than willing to help,” Pastor Robbins said and then patted Max’s knee. “What you’re doing isn’t illegal, is it?”
“Not really, no,” Lindsey said. Max said nothing, letting her do all the talking. He didn’t have any idea about the specifics of the plan. After spending the night in Lindsey’s mind, Max had to wait a full day before she came back with a temporary order for his release. He didn’t know how the pastor had gotten involved with all this. He didn’t like the idea of getting a clergyman in trouble with the authorities if anything went wrong.
“Where are we going?” Max asked.
“We have to drop the pastor off at the church, then we’ll go to the hospital,” Lindsey said.
“Oh.” He turned his head in the pastor’s direction. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course, my son.”
“If you try to help someone and instead you wind up hurting her, does God punish you?”
“Since He created us, He knows we’re not perfect. What’s in our hearts is more important than the success of our actions. As long as you truly want to help your friend, He will understand and embrace you for trying.”
“Oh. That makes sense. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” The Explorer came to a stop and the pastor opened the door. “I expect to see you here tomorrow, Max. Then you can tell me all about this undercover business.”
After the door closed, the SUV began moving again and Max leaned forward. “How are we going to get inside the hospital? As soon as security sees me, they’ll throw me out.”
“I’m not sure about that, but we’ll think of something when we get there.”
“Why did Director Burante agree to let me out? No one is supposed to leave the isolation room early.”
“Pastor Robbins was very persuasive,” Lindsey said. “It helps that he plays in the same foursome as the director.”
“Foursome?”
“They play golf together. That’s part of the reason you got the job there in the first place.”
“Oh.”
As they headed towards the hospital, Max considered a way to get inside. He could fake an injury, but that wouldn’t put him close enough to Sarah. Maybe they could make him some kind of disguise, but even if they got him as far as the room, someone was watching the door. “Do you still have that mobile phone?” he asked.
“You want to call someone?”
“Henrietta, at the hospital. She’s Sarah’s nurse. She’ll help us.” He didn’t know this for certain after everything that had happened. He’d lied to her about being a friend of Sarah’s and by now she no doubt knew he was a mental patient. She might have police waiting to take him away when he showed up.
“If you’re wrong, we might not get in at all.”
“I know, but there doesn’t seem like any other way.” Lindsey dialed the number and asked for Henrietta before giving the telephone to Max. When he heard her come on the line, he said, “Henrietta, it’s Max. I need your help.”
“Max, I’m not supposed to talk to you,” she whispered.
“I know, but this is important. I have to see Sarah.”
“There’s no way. They have a guard watching the door all the time, plus since they busted you, they’re patrolling the grounds too. You’d have a better chance robbing a bank.”
“I have to see her. I think I can help her.”
“Max, please, don’t start talking crazy.”
“I’m not. Ask Dr. Perry, she’ll tell you I’m not lying. I can help her out of the coma. I can wake her up.”
“Even if I believe you, what do you want me to do? Overpower the guards and barricade the room while you perform some kind of séance? I’ll lose my job.”
“All you have to do is help me get inside the room. Dr. Perry and I will do the rest.”
“Well, I suppose I could open the window and maybe you could climb in.”
“Good idea.”
“But if you do, I don’t know you’re there, all right? I don’t know anything about it.”
“I understand.”
“And afterwards, you owe me.”
“Thanks.” Max handed the phone back to Lindsey.
“Did she go for it?”
“She said she’ll leave the window open. We can climb in, so long as we don’t get caught by anyone outside.”
“Great, a blind man and a fat woman trying to b
reak in through a window. Nothing can possibly go wrong there.”
Lindsey’s sarcasm turned out to be unwarranted. They managed to pick their way between the hedge and wall of the hospital until they found Sarah’s room. As promised, Henrietta had left the window open. Lindsey went first, grunting and huffing until she made it through. Then she grabbed Max’s hand to help him find the window.
The breaking in was so anticlimactic, Max thought it must be some kind of trick. When no one sprung a trap for a full minute, Max took his seat next to Sarah’s chair. “Does she look all right?” he whispered to Lindsey.
“She looks the same as usual,” Lindsey said. “I guess I’ll just stand here and let you do your thing. Good luck.”
Max nodded and then let Sarah’s mind draw him in. He didn’t know whether the world he’d created would still be intact or not. As he descended through an evening sky, he found everything running almost as if he’d never left.
***
Sarah patted Koo’s snout and then tossed the whale a fish. Max had been gone for a week now. No one knew where he’d disappeared to, not even his parents. The police had taken a report and the media had put up Max’s picture, but no one came forward with any information. It was as if he’d vanished.
She didn’t understand why he’d taken off after saying he loved her. “That’s what men do,” Alicia said during one of their walks. “They use you and then throw you away like a piece of trash.”
Perhaps, but Max hadn’t seemed like any other man she’d ever known. He was so sweet and shy, as innocent as a schoolboy. He wasn’t like the guys in the bars who only wanted to get laid, the kind of man she’d been interested in for too long. Max loved her. He didn’t just say the words; she heard it in his voice, saw it in his eyes, and felt it in his touch. If he’d been lying, then he was the most convincing liar she’d ever known.
She kept waiting for him to show up again as suddenly as he’d entered her life. Every time the phone rang at home or her office, she waited to hear his voice and hung up on the verge of tears. All day while she worked, she listened for the sound of his footsteps. She’d given the security guards and receptionist pictures of Max in case they did see him, but every day she asked and they reported nothing.