by May Dawson
“Mm-hm.” I was wildly curious, but the music was ending. Before the last notes had died away, before Alisa could slip into the arms of another man, I caught her around the waist and pulled her close to me.
There was a beat of silence between songs. She stared up at me, her lips parting in surprise. Those big, luminous eyes were steady and more somber than I’d ever seen them before. I had been growing cold and furious, but something in that gaze made me pause.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” I chided her. I drew her into my arms, her warm, lithe body against mine.
She didn’t answer me, but she pulled back, carefully separating our bodies. Her arms were stiff, holding us apart without any of the grace she’d danced with earlier; she seemed to move mechanically through the steps. Her beautiful lips pressed together tightly, her chin lifting with a spark of that old Alisa I knew so well.
“What happened to you?” I whispered. I’d almost stormed summer territory, convinced that those few terse lines meant she was in trouble. But our kingdoms were in a state of dangerous peace; all-out war would mean the deaths of thousands of Fae on both sides.
Kingdom first.
Even if it broke my heart.
But now, when she was in my arms but somehow so far away, I knew I’d chosen wrong. I should have found a way to reach her and steal her away, even if she claimed she didn’t want me anymore.
She didn’t answer me. Her gaze slid from mine to someplace over my shoulder. We danced as sedately as a man dancing with his granddaughter, though with considerably less joy.
She yanked her hand away from mine as if it burned, the second she could. She curtsied to me and hurried away through the crowd. Males stopped her and asked her to dance—everyone wanted a bit of her sparkling personality—but she made some smiling excuse to everyone. Then she was gone, fleeing into the enormous marble lobby outside the ballroom.
If I knew her, she was running for the gardens. She’d told me when we were lying in bed how the gardens and riding horseback had been the two places she could feel like herself, despite the pressure of being a princess. I’d told her that music and the pitch had been those two places for me. We’d been twined together, her legs and mine overlapping, and I’d stroked my thumb across the beautiful planes of that face, soaking her in as if I might never see her again. Maybe I never would truly see her again.
Maybe Herrick had done something to her.
I knew that Duncan would accuse me of embarrassing myself. Maybe I was—but maybe I should be myself everywhere, royal lineage be damned.
And I loved Alisa, even more than my throne.
I saw Herrick watching me from across the crowd. His dark eyes were flinty in that tan, ageless face; his lavender hair had long since faded to silver. He was tall and thin as a blade, the spires of his crown looking sharp enough to prick. The lavender-haired man who leaned close to him, whispering, must be Faer; he looked so much like Alisa.
When I found Duncan at the side of the ballroom, there were two females writhing around him. They were dancing; he was tolerating being pressed between the two of them, stubbornly drinking his wine with his feet planted solidly on the ground.
“You are the most joyless person I’ve ever met,” I told him, “and I met a Soulsucker once.”
He rolled his eyes. “Are you going after her?”
“Of course I am.”
“Fool,” he accused me. He drained his glass and handed it to one of the girls, pushing past them. They pouted behind him as he walked with me. “I’ll help you get out of here unseen. Herrick’s guards are tracking you.”
“He wanted me to see Alisa and know for myself that she was rejecting me,” I said.
“Perhaps you’ll get lucky and he just wanted to torture you before the murder attempt,” he said lightly. “You look as if you’d like to be put out of your misery.”
“You seem so convinced he’s going to murder me.” Herrick might have been able to style himself High King, but his power was still precarious, no matter what he’d managed to do to the winter court.
“He wants fall territory,” he said, “and you’re ruining his sport.”
We blocked his military from entering our land, so he had to get soldiers through the treacherous mountain pass on our east or sail ships to reach winter territory. It kept him from completely subjugating the land…and the people within it. But our army was too large to defeat easily, and Herrick valued our uneasy peace…for now.
Duncan and I played a familiar trick, changing clothes and faces—we had the same build, the same long dark hair. I stared into his face, now my own. “Don’t start a war.”
He flashed me a smile; it was jarring to see his smirk on my own face. “No promises.”
I promised myself I wouldn’t smirk anymore as I made my way through the crowd. It’s not a good look. Smirking faces are punchable faces.
I waited until Duncan was talking to Herrick, until the guards’ attention had wandered, and then I slipped out into the cool quiet of the hall.
I searched the gardens, passing elaborate statues—I stopped and stared at a marble princess riding a unicorn, that looked so lifelike I wondered if Herrick had transformed someone who crossed him into a statue—and lush, hanging fruit trees. In the distance the ocean thundered against the base of the castle, and I caught glimpses of moonlight shining off the furious, white-capped sea. The night was crisp and beautiful, but a storm was coming.
When I didn’t find her, I thought I’d missed her. I thought about going back to the party, sure that the clock was ticking until I’d be missed. Besides, it was a terrible idea to leave Duncan unsupervised at parties. But I kept searching for her. I’d spent a year staying away doing what was best for both our kingdoms; now I couldn’t tear myself away.
I found Alisa deep in the tangled woods. A wide swing hung from a wide, broad branch, and white flowers crept up the old trunk. I knew she’d loved this swing, if it were the same one. I ran my hand over the smooth polished wood, imagining her laughing in this swing, her long hair flying behind her. Was she happy now? Without me? Because if she was, then I would let her go.
I felt warmth on my skin, warmth like sun, and I looked up, searching through the thick greenery.
The princess of summer was perched up in the branches, her silver-embroidered blue gown ripped and torn. I still wore Duncan’s face, and yet from the look in her eyes, I had a feeling she’d seen right through the disguise. I raised my hand, covering my features, and then I was myself. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at me, a faint smile playing over her lips, and she shook her head at my trick.
There was a flash of familiar mischief in her gaze when she peered down at me from between the branches.
Right before she released the apple she’d been eating. It fell through the leaves and I shifted to one side, or it would’ve hit me.
I raised one finger to beckon her down. Her lips parted in a laugh and then she easily skimmed down the tree. Her skirt stuck on a branch, and she paused to jerk it free, ripping it worse in the process. Then she dropped down beside me.
“You’ve been ignoring me all night,” I said. “Avoiding me.”
She spread her hands as if to say, well, you caught me.
“Did you get my letters?” I demanded. When her replies had been so brief, I’d taken other tactics; I’d bargained to have swallows and hawks and owls carry notes to her, and they’d waited for replies. Only the first one ever came, to say not to write again. The other birds never returned, and I wondered if they’d been slaughtered by someone in her court.
She was too silent, and I said slowly, “Herrick enchanted you. You can’t speak to me.”
She didn’t answer. But she leaned forward and brushed her lips against my cheek.
A goodbye.
That feathery soft kiss made my heart crack into two. Alisa’s kisses had been so passionate and fierce, just like she was. That kiss felt like a mockery of the girl I loved.
“Gods damn i
t, Alisa,” I exploded. “If you love me as I love you, don’t just give up. We can find a way.”
She shook her downturned head. She couldn’t tell me what Herrick was plotting, but I was sure that she was trying to protect me or her kingdom, or both, or I doubted she could’ve been so cold when I said I loved her.
I stepped closer to her, catching her chin and turned her face up to mine. Her beautiful eyes swam with tears, and another one was making its way across her sharp cheekbone. Regret and fury clutched my chest, emotions more powerful than I’d felt in my life.
“I’ll kill anyone who makes you cry,” I said fiercely, knowing it was ridiculous, but at least it made her smile through her tears. I swiped those tears away with my thumb. “Alisa, if you want me to let you go, I will. If you want me to try to break the curse, I’ll do that too.”
Her chin rose at the promise and I went on, “We can play this the smartest way we can. But whether we fight or whether we play a long game… you need to hear this.”
I cupped her jaw with my hand, willing her to believe me, to keep the strength to fight whatever Herrick was doing to her. “I love you. I always will. And sooner or later, you and I will find our way back together.”
She stared at me with those wide, luminous eyes.
Then she pressed against me, kissing me fiercely. I smiled against her mouth because of the way she kissed me fiercely, claimingly. My Alisa, still. My Alisa, always.
Then she took all my attention and the smile fell away. Her lips stole my breath, the two of us trading wild, fierce kisses. She pushed me against the tree, her body pressing against mine. I bent my head forward, twining my arm tightly around her waist, yanking her fiercely against me. We held each other as if the sheer force of our passion could keep us together, even if the world conspired to tear us apart.
I yanked that damned gown from her body. The bodice tore under my hands, and she huffed a laugh into my mouth. It was the closest I’d come to hearing her voice, and that laugh drove me mad. My hands delved through the torn fabric, caressing the hard points of her nipples, the flat, taut planes of her stomach. My thumb stroked over her soft, downy hair, then lower, caressing her cleft. Her hips jerked against my hand. I twisted the two of us, shoving the gown down to pool at our feet, then drawing her ass against my hips. Her smooth curves pressed against my cock through my trousers, and her lavender head was under my chin so I could breathe in the honeysuckle scent of her hair.
I pinned her there, devouring her bare throat and neck with kisses and gentle bites as she tossed her head. My hand slid again between her thighs, my fingers stroking through her wet heat as she jerked helplessly under my hands. My fingers pulsed over her clit, over and over, until she moaned.
That sound… if that was the only way I still heard her voice, at least I could make her cry out in pleasure. I slid two fingers deep within her, feeling her body shudder with the movement. She bit her lower lip, her head falling on my shoulder. She was so beautiful, under the moonlight, and I paused for a second. It was so quiet in the night that I could’ve sworn I heard her heart beating and mine, the two of us in time.
Then I began to pulse my fingers in and out, my thumb stroking over her clit. Her thighs began to shake, and I teased her faster. She groaned, shaking her head back and forth with the power of her building orgasm. I worked my hand faster, feeling her hips try to buck under my touch but pinning her against me, until I felt her knees go weak, her channel pulsing around me. I held her up easily against my body as she cried out, her voice shattering the depth of the night.
For a few long seconds, she stayed pressed against me, her body shuddering against mine.
Then she twisted in my arms, kissing me fiercely. Her hands slid between us, trying to work my trousers. I let her shove them down, and then she was pushing my jacket from my shoulders. I helped her with the buttons as she tried to tear my shirt off, then gave up. There was a ripping sound as some of the fabric was torn, as a button sprang loose and fell into the leaves. I trampled it carelessly. She looked so gorgeous, naked in the forest as if she were the wildest of things.
I nipped at the pouty lower lip of hers, and her lips parted; my tongue swept into her mouth as my knee nudged between her thighs. I cupped her thighs, pulling her up until her legs wrapped my waist, her arms closing around my neck. The two of us kept trading kisses as I carried her toward the swing. I set her ass on the high swing, and she laughed as it swayed back and forth.
I grabbed one of the ropes to steady the swing. She leaned back, dangerously far, giving me a smile as she reached for me. She pressed my cock, tracing the places my fingers had explored earlier. My cock throbbed as she teased me in circles around her entrance, gliding easily because she was so wet.
I reached down, teasing her glistening pink clit with my thumb, and she bit her lower lip. As if she couldn’t take it anymore, her thighs tightened around my waist, her bare feet pressing into my calves as she tried to reel me toward her.
And I couldn’t resist. I went with her, slowly filling her. She was so tight and smelled so good as I buried myself deep into her, until my balls brushed the sweet curve of her ass. She clung to the ropes of the swing, her head falling back, exposing those small perfect breasts and sharp-looking nipples and the curve of her throat, glowing under the moonlight.
I leaned forward and captured one of those nipples in my mouth, staying buried deep within her as my tongue teased over her nipple. She let out a gasp, her thighs taut on my waist as I teased my mouth over her nipple, over and over, swirling my tongue around it. Then to be symmetrical, I moved to the other side, paying it equal attention.
She fisted my hair in her hand, pulling my head up roughly to hers, and capturing my lips with hers. The two of us kissed fiercely as I began to move, shoving deep into her over and over. She began to shudder around me again, her hair flying until she screamed and I shattered inside her, the two of us going to pieces together as the world blurred into something beautiful.
Then the two of us collapsed off the swing into the sweet-scented, thick grass beneath the tree. We lay in a naked heap, her face pillowed on my shoulder.
“I have to tell you,” I murmured, “Rowen is safe with me in the autumn court. She’s happy; she’s going to be one of my knights. You took care of her, Alisa.”
Her eyes flooded with tears, but she nodded. I held her close in my arms, savoring her body against mine, knowing we had little time left.
But I’d never give up on my summer princess, and I’d never surrender our happily-ever-after.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Alisa
“You need to think carefully about whether you really want to do this,” Azrael warned me as he sat on my bed. He seemed to be making himself at home.
The other two had gone to prepare for our journey; Azrael had stayed behind. His primary purpose was to antagonize me while I packed, apparently.
He continued, “You’ll anger Faer. If you don’t return home with your memories, you’ll have raised the stakes without raising your ability to cope with them.”
“The Delphin said my memories would be restored at the cave,” I reminded him.
“And what if the Delphin is wrong?”
“Then I’ll have you to help me with Faer,” I said.
He tilted his head back, studying me with those eerie eyes. The light caught the red and gold flecks in the purple, reminding me he wasn’t mortal. “As far as you trust me.”
“As far as I trust you,” I repeated.
“I think no matter what you say, Princess, you trust me far more than is wise.”
“Funny, because before I came into this world, you promised I could trust you. You said you’d be right by my side.”
“And I am, in a way.” The faintest lazy smile tilted one corner of his lips. “I’m your very own knight now. Loyal to you.”
I jerked an armful of plain training shirts out of my dresser. “What is it that Faer has on you? Besides Zora and the autumn cou
rt? Is there something else he holds over your head?”
He shook his head. Rejecting my question, rejecting me.
“God damn it, Azrael.”
He was always so controlled, so careful. It made me crazy. Even when I hit him, he hadn’t hit me back; hell, he’d let me. I wanted to see him driven to enough passion to lash back at me.
“Tell me what happened before! Tell me what I did to you.”
“When we get to the caves, you’ll know,” he said, his voice low and quiet. “You won’t believe me anyway, Alisa.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because you never do,” he said, his voice heating. He suddenly rose to his feet, pacing toward me. “You want me to tell you the whole story of how things fell apart between us? Well, you can’t even abide it when I suggest you were an imperfect girlfriend.”
“You’ve made it very clear that Fae don’t even have girlfriends.”
“You know what I mean,” he growled. “You won’t believe me anyway, so why should I bare my heart to you?”
Oh. There it was. My lips parted, my own heart stuttering over his words.
Fearless prince Azrael, so dangerous with a sword and so competent in every way, was afraid I’d hurt him again.
Because I’d hurt him before.
I should say something gentle, something comforting, but when he pressed his lips tightly shut, his jaw tense, I felt my own spike of answering fury.
“Don’t be a coward, Azrael,” I said, my voice just as calm as his had been, even though my heart was beating fast.
“Why are you always trying to push me?” he demanded, as if he’d seen right through my cruel words. “Are you trying to push me away?”
“We were never supposed to be together anyway,” I repeated his words from before. “I’m not pushing you away, Azrael. You and I aren’t together now.”
His jaw tensed. “It might have saved me a kingdom if you’d said that five years ago, Princess.”
“I only get so mad at you when you talk about the past because that is all you say,” I shot at him. “Just little one-liners about how I ruined your life. Tell me the whole story from beginning to end. Convince me.”