* * *
C aroline awoke to the sound of feet scuffling and slowly opened her eyes, to a sight that made her breath hitch in her throat. Conner was up and rummaging through his dresser. His back was to her, and she took the opportunity to stare, watching his muscles flex and release .
When he turned around she quickly closed her eyes to pretend to still be asleep .
"I know you're awake," he said and she cringed inwardly .
Embarrassed she opened her eyes and sat up, consciously touching the rat's nest that was stuck to her head .
"Good morning," she said groggily .
"Morning."
"Did you sleep well?" she attempted for small talk .
“I slept as well as I was going to, given that I was on a floor .”
Scratch that plan, she thought. It was really no use to try small talk, his brain wasn't wired that way, it had never been. If she was going to go through with Mary's plan for her to stay a week and try, she was going to have to consider a direct, straight forward approach. No bells and whistles or pretty, little packages with glittery bows .
"I've been thinking..." she started .
"That must be quite a challenge," he retorted sarcastically .
Caroline bit her tongue to keep herself from reciprocating with equal sarcasm .
“Can we start over ?”
Conner cocked a brow and looked at her suspiciously, "Start over, are you kidding me ?"
Caroline played with the blanket in her lap, "You should know that I had no idea that it was your mother who invited me. I honestly thought you wanted to see me ."
"And pray tell sweetheart, what reason would I have had to see you?" He crossed his arms over his broad chest as he leaned back against the chest of drawers, regarding her with the deadpan expression of a bull frog. A pissed off bull frog .
Caroline shrugged, "I always felt guilty about how things ended and I thought this would be my chance to apologize for all the hurt I caused you ."
Conner appeared to be considering it for a second before running his hand through his hair .
“Yeah, well I wasn’t completely innocent in what happened either. If what you say if true, I can’t begrudge you for wanting to make amends .”
“So, friends?” Caroline asked hopefully .
She needed to see that Conner would be willing to work things out with her. While she knew that they could never be what they used to be, at the very least she could start the build up to telling him about Lizzi .
"It's not exactly that simple. Being friends requires trust, and right now there's none of that," Conner said and pulled his shirt on. "Anyway I have to get going now, Pa is already going to be pissed that I slept in. I'll bet anything that he is going make me shovel the horse stalls again .”
Caroline wrinkled her nose but nodded as Conner walked out the door. Then she remembered Mary's proposal. She propelled herself out of the bed and ran to the door .
"Conner... um, your mother invited me to stay the week," she informed him .
"That so?" Conner said raising a brow as he turned to look at her .
Caroline nodded, “I’m going to take her up on her offer .”
Conner regarded her for a moment, and then simply turned and walked down the stairs .
Caroline watched him until he disappeared downstairs and then she retreated into the room .
If she was going to stay here for an entire week, Mary was going to have to let her sleep on the sofa, or she was going to have to sleep with Macy in the guest room. She groaned and flopped back on the mattress. She tried to tell herself that she was only staying so she could eventually conjure up the courage to tell him about Lizzi. It was, at least, partly true, but she didn't want to admit that deep down she was hoping that they could rekindle the flame that once raged like an out of control wildfire .
She eventually managed to motivate herself to get up and get dressed, and when she finally made it downstairs, Mary was the only one in the kitchen .
"Morning darlin' saved you some breakfast. I assumed you were still getting used to the time change so I let you sleep in ."
Caroline said her thanks and sat down to her eggs, bacon, and toast, she looked around the empty kitchen .
“Where is everyone?” Caroline asked .
"Well the boys are out with the cattle and the girls are in the garden," Mary said while she buzzed around the kitchen .
Caroline wasn't very hungry and picked here and there on her food, "Is there anything I can do to help around here ?"
Mary nodded, "It's almost lunch time for the fellas, you can come with me to hand out the food and drinks ."
"I would love to," Caroline smiled and got up to empty her plate of leftovers, "Thank you for breakfast but I wasn't really that hungry ."
Mary regarded her and then picked at the dress by her waist, "You're just skin and bones young lady, you shouldn't starve yourself ."
She liked Mary, but here and there, there were a few things that she could pick up that made her understand the way her mind worked. Mary liked to be in control, she preferred to be the last one to have the last say and she loved her children more than anything. For a moment, she wondered what it would have been like if her own mother was so fiercely protective .
While they were preparing lunch, Mary and Caroline talked about everything under the sun. Mary told Caroline how Conner had been such a free-spirited young man, always doing the opposite of what everyone expected. And Caroline could see how much she loved her son. Caroline told Mary how they two of them met, and how they hit it off from day one .
"So why did things not work out?" Mary asked curiously .
"I suppose I was just insecure in a big way," she started, "We had a good thing, but then he had to go away. I preempted that I won't ever see him again, so instead of talking to him about my fears, I thought to protect my own heart first. I left him a note to set him free ."
Mary turned to look at her, "I can understand that, but Conner never breaks a promise ."
Caroline sighed, "It's a matter of once bitten twice shy. Before I met Conner, I was in another relationship. Tourists come and go all the time. It was a young man who promised me the world, he left and a year later I found out he had married. That was the day I decided that it would never happen to me again ."
Impulsively Mary wrapped her arms around Caroline and hugged her, "I"m sorry you had to go through that ."
Caroline swallowed back her tears and plastered on her big-girl smile, "It's all in the past now ."
When they had everything packed up, they set out to feed the hungry cowboys. The men were very grateful for the provisions and tucked into their meals with enthusiasm .
"Thanks, honey," Frank said, placing a kiss on his wife's cheek .
There were other murmurs of thanks from the happy men, but one man was missing .
“Where’s Conner?” Caroline asked .
“Probably still in the stalls,” Frank said, “I told Keith to go get him .”
Keith gave a sheepish smile, “I may have forgotten .”
Frank rolled his eyes and sighed, “I’ll bring him his share .”
“No honey that won’t be necessary,” Mary said, “I’m sure Caroline can manage, right dear ?”
Caroline smiled and nodded. Frank looked at Mary suspiciously but didn’t comment .
“I’ll show her where the stalls are at,” Keith said .
Caroline packed up Conner’s lunch and followed Keith to the stalls. They walked in silence for a little while before Keith finally spoke up .
“Listen I don’t know exactly why you are here, but I know it probably isn’t to marry my brother .”
Caroline was surprised by Keith's forwardn
ess but nodded, "Yes, that's true. I came here thinking that Conner wanted to speak to me, I had no idea that Mary set it all up ."
Keith nodded his understanding, “I figured it was something like that .
They both walked quietly for a while before Caroline spoke up again .
“Does Conner always work in the stables ?”
“You mean, is he always in trouble?” Keith said with a chuckle .
Caroline laughed and nodded .
“No,” Keith answered honestly, “He works on different parts of the ranch but he is usually with the animals some way or another .”
“So he likes taking care of them ?”
Keith nodded, “He’s always been a huge animal lover, never did like working with the cattle. It used to bother him that we would have to slaughter them eventually .”
“He doesn’t wrangle them like the rest of you do ?”
"No, he would put up a fight when Pa made him go out there so he found him another job. We found that he was a whiz at keeping the animals calm when they needed to be stitched up or dipped for ticks and parasites ."
Caroline smiled, she could imagine a young Conner stitching up little animals and nursing them back to health .
He truly was a soulful person with a big heart .
"He never really told me about his family when we were together," Caroline said, completely off topic, "I guess that's what a holiday romance rendezvous is all about in the end ."
"They are the best experiences in life, though," Keith said with a smile .
"So besides working on the ranch, does Conner do anything else to pass time ?"
She was fishing out if he had another woman out there that Mary didn't know of. A few times since her arrival, she caught herself wondering about that, but was too scared to ask. It wasn't her business anyway .
Keith shrugged, "We always thought he would go to school and become a vet, but no, he only works on the ranch when he isn't out gallivanting on his motorcycle, and doing the Lord knows what else ."
C aroline laughed, "Mary doesn't seem to like it much. So why did he not go ahead and study to be a vet ?"
“I’m not sure, but I think he started to turn a little sour when he got to the end of high school. Hung out with a group of kids that weren’t on the straight and narrow and it didn’t help that his temper would always get the best of him .”
They reached the stables, and Keith called him, "Conner !
You planning on moving into the stables ?"
“Shut up Keith,” Came Conner’s voice from inside .
Keith snickered and gestured for Caroline to follow him inside, "Lunch is here! Figured you could use some sustenance," he called out .
The stable was very large with two long rows of stalls on either side of it with a few horses in them. Conner emerged from one of them, looking very dirty with hay stuck in his hair .
Caroline fought not to smile as she regarded him amusedly .
“What?” He snapped .
Keith let out a sigh, walked over to his little brother and pulled out a strand of straw from his hair .
"Did you fall asleep in the stalls again?" he asked, exasperatedly .
Conner rolled his eyes and pushed Keith playfully, "That happened once when we were kids, and now I'll never live it down ."
"Well, how else do you explain the mess?" Keith chuckled as he pointed to Conner's appearance, "Either that you're you've been rolling in the hay," he winked .
Caroline knew exactly what that meant and her heart sunk to the bottom of her stomach. For a moment she half expected a woman to stumble out of one of the stables .
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we are on a farm, Keith. It’s common for real cowboys to get dirty .”
"Says the man who tries to escape his duties, every chance he gets ."
"I never!" Conner snapped, "Every cowboy needs time away from the grindstone ."
"Anyways, get cleaned up, your fiancée brought you lunch ."
Caroline's eyes grew wide and her jaw tensed in anticipation of Conner’s reaction to the word “fiancée”. She felt thrown for a loop herself .
What was it with everyone? She agreed to a week, only to tell him about his daughter, in no way was she planning on getting married, no matter what Mary demanded ."
Conner glared at his brother, “She’s not my fiancée .”
"No, I'm not," Caroline seconded .
"Ma seems to think so ."
"Keith, don't you have somewhere to be?" Conner muttered .
Keith raised his hands in surrender, “Want some alone time to your betrothed, I get it just make sure to clean up after .”
Keith laughed at his own joke as he turned around and walked out. And Caroline averted her gaze, not wanting Conner to see her blushing .
“Is your whole family so brazen ?”
“Pretty much, “Conner said shaking his head .
"Well here you go," She said, handing him his lunch .
She turned to leave, wanting to get out of this place as quickly as possible. The thought of being alone with him here was worse than sleeping in the same room for some really strange reason .
“You can stay if you want,” Conner said .
Caroline turned around and gave Conner a confused look, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea .”
“Why not ?”
“Because we just started being amicable to each other again and I don’t want to jinx it .”
Conner sighed, “I already agreed to start over, what’s the point if you avoid me ?”
“I’m not avoiding you .”
“Prove it, keep me company .”
Caroline looked at him for a moment, confused by his behavior, she was starting to tamper with the idea that he might be bipolar, which explained the random outbursts followed by sudden calm and good behavior. But if he insisted that she stayed, then she may as well .
Conner went to sit down on a bale of hay in front of one of the stalls that held a chestnut colored horse. The horse snorted when he came near and he patted her nose fondly .
“Why are you being so nice all of a sudden? Yesterday you wouldn’t even meet my eye,” Caroline said, sitting down .
Conner shrugged, “I just think that maybe you didn’t deserve the way I treated you. What happened between us was a long time ago and we were both really young. I can’t fault you for leaving, you must have had your reasons .”
Caroline looked guiltily at her hands, she considered telling Conner the truth of why she left and finally telling him about his daughter. She looked over at him and opened her mouth to speak .
"Nice horse," she said instead and cursed inwardly for being such a coward .
"Yeah, she's a real beauty, but not easy to ride, she doesn't like anyone but me to ride her ."
Caroline smiled and sat down on one of the other bales. She had no knowledge of horses, so going into any in depth discussion on why the horse was so stubborn was senseless, "So why does it look like you've tumbled in the hay ?"
Conner chuckled as he bit into a sandwich, "Don't tell Keith, but I did actually fall asleep ."
Caroline giggled at that and shook her head, "I guess you needed it, I'm sure sleeping on the floor wasn't very comfortable ."
"You can say that again, I didn't exactly sleep very well and Lacy is excellent company," Conner said while the horse behind snorted in agreement .
Caroline smiled, “Is that what you named her ?”
"No, Macy did. She's named pretty much every animal on this ranch, excluding the cattle ."
The way Conner spoke of Macy made Caroline smile, “You two are close ?”
Conner grabbed the bottle of water and took a sip, "Yeah, we banded tog
ether when the older ones wouldn't let up ."
Caroline laughed, "I like your siblings, they seem very nice ."
Conner snorted, “Even Rachel ?”
“Even Rachel .”
"Maybe you can take them with you when you go back to France ."
Caroline looked down at her feet, her chest feeling heavy at the thought that she would have to leave soon. But what did she expect? Just because they were starting over as friends, didn't mean he would just take her back into his arms. Our let her be a part of his family. Her heart ached at thought of Lizette being at the center of such a loving family, playing with her little cousin, Rachel’s baby .
"I'm sure they aren't that bad," she murmured, "They all seem to care a great deal ."
Conner huffed and then closed the lunch box, "Thanks for bringing lunch ."
Caroline gave him a small smile, “You’re welcome .”
Conner offered her his hand and helped her to her feet, "I need to finish up here, you head on back to the house ."
She took the lunch box from him and turned away, her heart drumming frantically in her chest. As she walked back to the house, she wondered if she would be able to tell Conner about Lizzi before the week was out .
She needs a papa in her life, Adalene's voice repeated in her head, and she realized that she had no choice. She had to do it, not for herself, but for her child. But what if Conner rejected them both ?
Chapter 5
C onner walked into the kitchen after finishing up for the day, it was surprisingly empty. He grabbed a glass of water and went into the library, where Ma was sitting at the desk going over the accounts .
“You smell like a barn,” She commented without looking up .
“I was actually in the stalls,” Conner corrected .
Ma looked up, “I’ve heard that you and Caroline are getting along better .”
“No thanks to you .”
Ma sighed, “You can’t possibly still be angry with me .”
“You tried to force me into a marriage by threatening to take my trust away .”
Ma waved her hand as if to shoo the comment away, “I wasn’t going to go through with it .”
His Christmas Baby: A Friends to Lovers Romance Page 28