“Ah, oh, sure, yeah, okay .”
He wants to go to lunch with me. Air is getting thinner .
Wait. Hold on .
“Wait. Homeschool? Maddie said yesterday she was looking forward to going .”
“Yeah, I know. I meet with the principal and advisor tomorrow to find out if they decided to let her attend this year. Last year for preschool they said, ‘she wasn’t ready’. There’s a chance she can now, but I’m not holding my breath .”
I think the tone of my voice was something new to him, because he took a small step back at my next question .
“What fucking time tomorrow ?”
Rob
T he thick skin I was worried about Amy having was beginning to look like plates of armor sitting in the office of the elementary school .
“Excuse me? Can you repeat that please ?”
The woman advisor looks down at the wording of her paperwork and repeats her verdict, “We don’t feel Maddison has the necessary social skills or self-control to succeed in a normal classroom environment .”
Amy crosses her curvy legs and sits back. But her tone is anything but casual, “Oh, I understand. And how would the school recommend she learns social skills at home by herself ?”
“There are many programs for children with special needs to learn life skills .”
“Ah, I see. So she is supposed to learn the skills to succeed in the real world in a non-real world environment ?”
The advisor is taken aback by this and looks to the principal. Since he also has nothing to offer, the woman resorts to another tactic, “I’m sorry Ma’am. But what relation are you to the child ?”
Although I have stayed relatively quiet up to this point, I think maybe this is a moment to step up, “Oh, she’s her… uh, well, she’s - “
Amy corrects my stumbles without missing a beat, “I’m her care-giver and disability advocate, which is why I’m here, to make sure she isn’t the victim of discrimination .”
The tension in the air is almost touchable as the advisor shifts in her seat, “I assure you we reached our decision with Maddison’s best interests in mind .”
Amy laughs, but not her real laugh, this was borderline condescending, “No, I don’t think you did. I think the accommodations she would require are an inconvenience and it is easier to turn her away than put in the time and effort to make this an environment she could thrive in .”
“Ma’am, you misunders - “
“No, I don’t think I do. But I do want to make sure YOU don’t misunderstand. I fully intend to get the support of the ADA to back up Maddison’s disability rights lawyer in the case we make against this school. May I please have a copy of your decision and the reasons you created for not being able to accommodate her condition in writing ?”
The advisor begins to shuffle through her papers nervously and I can see the sweat begin to bead on the principal’s forehead. Aim is winning. Holy shit .
The truth is, I don’t have a lawyer for Maddie, though I guess I probably should. But the way Amy said it, I almost believed I already did. The elementary school office staff certainly believes it .
Finally, the silent rotund principal clears his throat, “We didn’t realize how strongly you felt about Maddison attending Sam Worth Elementary. Taking that into consideration, we will assign her to a placement specialist and enroll her in our Individualized Education Plan which should accommodate any challenges she may face here. Do you find that satisfactory ?”
Amy uncrosses her curvy legs, which are apparently clad in thicker skin that I could have ever guessed. It doesn’t happen often, but Marce was so right .
“Absolutely. Thank you both, I’m glad we could come to an understanding .”
I follow Aim’s cue and shake the two sweaty and almost trembling hands extended over the desk to me and follow her out of the building. When we get to my hybrid she’s midway through a rant .
“Who else have they treated this way? What makes them think they can just brush off any child who isn’t a cookie cutter version of what they expect a student to be. I swear if they give her any trouble while she’s attending I will -
I end her speech by slamming her against the passenger door. I can’t tell her how I feel about what she just did with words, I’ve never been eloquent - so I let my body explain. I press against her hard and grab the side of her face with both my hands as I kiss her. I kiss her hard and deep. It was rude, really – I didn’t ask or even give her any warning. But she doesn’t resist. In fact, the way she kisses me back makes my whole body ache .
My hero .
I’m a martial artist, a successful business owner, and a grown ass man… and this woman just saved me .
Amy
I didn’t know it was possible to cycle through emotions so quickly. I was happy they let Maddie in the school, I was furious they tried not to and now… I was… well, in a wet dream .
It has to be a dream. There’s no way I’m making out with the infatuation of my life in an elementary school parking lot .
Is there ?
When he pushed me against the car and grabbed my face I was almost afraid. Maybe I had crossed the line and made him angry – the look in his eyes was so intense – I had never had anyone look at me that way. All I could relate it to was anger .
I was wrong .
When he finally pulls his lips away from mine and lets my face go I don’t move. I don’t even open my eyes. I’m afraid if I do… I might wake up .
“Aim? Are you okay ?”
I still don’t open my eyes, but I manage to nod .
“Amy?” I feel the back of his hand against my cheek .
Okay. I let my eyes flutter open and meet his. “Yeah. Yeah ?”
“Thank you .”
“Oh, um, sure .”
“Do you wanna come home with me ?”
“Yeah? Yeah .”
Yeah.
Rob
O n the way to my house it’s all I can do not to kiss her again, every red light and stop sign was an opportunity I had to resist. I wanted her to know how she made me feel. How proud I was of her, how I have always thought she was beautiful. The primitive side of me could only show it with my body. The non-primitive side of me tried to explain my gratitude .
“You were incredible in there .”
“Oh, thanks. I don’t get upset often, really, but they just made me so mad .”
“You were a force of nature. I never know what to say when people are assholes. If we could just fight about it I’d be fine, but civilized society or whatnot frowns on that .”
She laughs but says something profound, “Oh well, we all have different weapons .”
And her weapons have slayed me. I reach over and take her hand and pull it to my mouth. I kiss it longer than I should. I can feel the race of her heart in her wrist and the way her breathing quickens. I wonder if she could possibly want me as badly as I want her in this moment .
Who am I kidding? This moment? Every moment. Every moment for as long as I could remember .
I speak against her hand. “Oh, Aim .”
The loud blare of a car horn behind us snaps me out of my heaven and reminds me I’m still in traffic and the light is green. I focus on the road again, but don’t let her hand go. I just can’t. Her skin on her arm is so soft. I begin to imagine how the rest of her feels. I inhale that wonderful smell that only comes from her, not soap, not perfume, just her .
I kiss her hand again before I continue, “Marce has Maddie for a few more hours. I hope you can stay till then .”
“Oh, sure. Yeah .”
The hesitation in her voice makes me release her precious hand, “Are you sure ?”
“Oh, um, yeah, I want to… it’s just …”
“What’s wrong, Aim ?”
“Nothing! No, no, nothing. I just, no guy has ever asked me over, or kissed me or anything before so …”
I almost choke. Playing it cool with everything I have, I ask her t
o clarify, “So, you’ve never been intimate with anyone is what you’re saying .”
“Yeah. I mean no. I mean I haven’t, no .”
I am such an asshole, she got her first kiss slammed against my car in a parking lot. How romantic .
“Oh, geez, Aim, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t’ve -”
“Oh, please don’t be! I’m so glad, I’ve always…um …”
“Yeah… me too .”
I reclaim her hand. But I promise myself I’m not going to claim the rest of her today, I’m going to go slow and treat her the way she deserves .
I have to resist the irresistible .
And then, in time, if she lets me, I am really going to treat her the way she deserves. The way I should have don’t long ago. For as long as she’ll let me .
Amy
I wonder if he can feel my heart pounding in my hand. The way he just leaves his lips against it makes me sure he can. I try not to pant and shake as he speaks to me the way I always wished he would .
What I did at the school wasn’t even my proudest moment. I got angry, which I almost never do, I even threatened people. Honestly, I acted crazy. Under normal circumstances I would be ashamed. But Rob was acting like I was some kind of hero. The thought of being alone at his house with all this affection coming my way was making me both thrilled and nauseous .
Shit! Why didn’t I shave above the knee ?!
I try to remember which pair of underwear I have on, I get sicker as I realize I have on an old comfortable pair with holes along the waistband .
Shit.
I calm down at his next words, “Don’t worry, Aim. We’ll take it slow, okay? I just wanna be with you .”
“Okay, yeah, thanks. I wanna be with you too .”
And I do. I always have. It makes me hate the little voice in the back of my mind trying to make me doubt everything that’s making me so happy .
Why now? Why after all these years are you suddenly desirable? So you won’t quit? So you will be a permanent babysitter with benefits ?
Stop. You know Rob. He is a good guy, a good man. If he likes you then he likes you. He knows you. Just stop .
When we get to his house I expect that slowness he talked about. But apparently our versions of slow are a bit different, because the front door wasn’t even fully closed behind us before he was kissing me again. For the first time in my life, both my feet came off the floor at once. Although I was sure I was too heavy for anyone to lift, he picks me up like I was a much lighter woman and brings me to the couch that is still draped with sheets and blankets on every side .
There in the middle of the fabric palace he kisses me the way they kiss in movies. The voices of worry and nervousness in my head fade into passion as I kiss him back. His mouth begins to drift down my neck and send shock waves through my whole body. Suddenly I understand what everyone was always going on about. This is the most perfect feeling there is. His full beard is so soft and his hands on my back are so gentle .
Then one of his hands slides from my back around my waist to my belly. Before I can become self-conscious, I gasp into his mouth as he moves it up to hold my breast. His huge hand tries to envelope all of it - an impossible task, but the kneading motions he makes as he tries sends waves of pleasure through me. Now his trail of kisses traveling down my neck continues until he reaches my chest .
The sound of the front door opening almost makes us both fall off the couch. Marcy’s face instantly registers what she interrupted. “Oh! Sorry! So sorry ! “
Rob and I both try to act normal, but our hellos are oddly high pitched and tense. I try to straighten out my clothes and smooth my hair and, well, not look like I was just having the time of my life .
“I forgot my headphones.”, Maddie casually walks to her room, totally unaware. Readjusting himself, Rob scrambles after her. “Oh, I think they’re in the kitchen, actually .”
Marcy’s wide eyes are a mix of shock and glee. She doesn’t say a word, but comes right over and punches me in the arm. It hurts, but I still laugh, “Shut up .”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take her to the movies .”
“Oh, you don’t have to. We have good news .”
“They are gonna let her go ?!”
“Yep!”
Marce and I are beaming like kids ourselves when Maddie comes back in, “What is it ?”
“Your Dad has something to tell you .”
Red-faced, Rob peeks around from the hallway, “Actually, you should tell her Aim. You made it happen .”
“Oh no, you should .”
Marcy throws up her hands, “Oh good grief! Maddie, you are going to Kindergarten next week !”
Maddison’s stoic little face curls into a smile for a moment. Then she promptly climbs into her Bird’s Nest Palace. “Okay .”
Rob smiles and shrugs at us, we both laugh and I’m not totally sure, but I think I hear a little giggle from inside the blanket fortress too .
Rob
“A gh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW !
My mouth falls open .
I had almost gotten used to arriving home to the surprise of my life. Amy was coming up with something amazing and wonderful on a regular basis for me to open the front door to after work .
But what I walk in on today tops them all .
“Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW !
My little lady has tiny gloves strapped on her hands and is throwing combinations into an equally tiny punching bag. Both are, you guessed it, pink .
Aim notices I’m there but doesn’t stop calling out combos for her to throw .
“Two, two, three !”
Maddison fires off a pair of double left hooks and a right uppercut .
“Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW !
“Remember your feet! One, two, three !”
Maddie hops and bounces a bit before landing a jab, hook, uppercut .
“Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “ Agh!” POW !
I can’t keep my mouth shut for another second, “That’s perfect !”
Maddison doesn’t turn around, keeping her tiny eyes focused on the bag, waiting for her next combo .
“I kuw.” I recognize the slur, Amy has also found a tiny mouth guard .
Aim gets up, “You can pick your combinations for a bit, princess, just remember to pause between them .”
“Ugkay”
“Great, and where do they start ?”
“Muh fuet .”
“That’s right !”
They tiny yells fade as I walk with Aim down the hall – when I’m quite sure we are far enough away from the living room I press her against the hallway wall and plant my gratitude on her lips. I’m pretty sure she was starting to assume no ‘thank you’ could come from me without also tasting her .
I make myself come up for air and for an explanation, “How’d you do it ?”
“What do you mean? I just showed her like you showed me .”
I had always assumed there was no way to teach Maddie martial arts without touching her. But seeing the confusion on Aim’s face makes me realize that striking doesn’t have to require any touch from another person at all .
I feel like a royal dumb ass. Once again, I lean in to plant my gratitude on her, but she ducks under my arm .
“Sorry, I have to go .”
“You don’t wanna stay for dinner ?”
She was already headed back down the hall, “Sorry, I can’t. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye .”
“Aim.”
“Bye, princess! See you tomorrow !”
“Buh”
“Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW !
Before I can think of something else to say, she has scooped up her purse and gone. I stand staring at the closed door until a less muffled voice comes from directly behind me .
“Can you take these off?” I turn to see Maddie holding out her gloved hands .
Doing my best impression of a statue, I study the glov
es, trying to analyze the best way to ensure I don’t touch her getting them off. The other thoughts in my mind – the ones screaming at the top of their lungs – make it hard to think .
Finally, she takes the initiative and uses her teeth to pull open the Velcro at each of her wrists before holding her hands back out. I’m grateful for the solved puzzle and simply grab onto the ends of the mitts and pull. When they pop off, she sits on the floor and starts to unwrap her hands .
I swallow and try not to sound shaken up, “I’m gonna jump in the shower before dinner, okay ?”
“Okay”, she doesn’t seem to notice my inner turmoil, putting in her earbuds and planting in front of the TV .
“Okay.”
When I walk past the spot in the long hallway where I had last kissed Aim, my chest tightens up and it gets harder to take deep breaths. The edge of my bed seems like an eternity a way, but I manage to get there before my legs go into total noodle mode .
Shit. Shit. Shit .
What did I think was gonna happen? I told myself years ago that no woman was going to be willing to sign up for my crazy life. No one wanted to pick up all this baggage. Okay, she is an amazing babysitter, but that doesn’t mean she wants this mess twenty-four/seven .
That doesn’t mean she wants me .
The hot water steams up the glass walls of the shower, and while normally I’m an in-and-out kind of guy, right now this is where I need to be for a while. I sit on the large stone bench that I normally ignore or use for a shampoo stand, and lean my head against the marble wall .
Amy
I don’t fall apart until I make it home .
Walking out of there was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Being with him is all I’ve dreamed about since I was thirteen and now that I have it, I know I can’t enjoy it .
I know it’s not real .
His affection always came after I did something good for Maddie. While I understand why it moved him the way it did, it really had nothing to do with me. If he liked me he would have kissed me long ago. He may be grateful, he may be happy about what I do, but that would never last, because he’s not really attracted to me .
His Christmas Baby: A Friends to Lovers Romance Page 33