by Frankie Love
“I’m just coming through for a few weeks. But right about now, I’m starved. Mind if I cut through here to the bar?”
Dusty nods. “No problem at all. Sadie’s a good girl—even if the two of you were snooping around my club.”
“Sorry, boss. You mad about that?”
Dusty laughs. “You paid the surcharge, right?” When I tell him yes, he shrugs. “I don’t mind who comes, so long as they pay and keep things quiet.”
“And what happens if people start talking? People from Resting?”
“Then there will be problems, won’t there?”
“Suppose so. But you can trust me, sir. I have no reason to tell anyone shit.”
Dusty moves to leave the kitchen, turning to me a final time before he goes. “You looking for work, son? Because I’m short a bouncer for when we open in two weeks.”
I shake my head. “Not sure I’ll even be around then.”
“I see. Well, just don’t take Sadie with you when you go. She knows her way around a bar.”
Dusty leaves, and his words ring in my ears. Like hell, I won’t take Sadie. As soon as we both feel ready, we’re leaving this town and headed South. Mexico maybe. Costa Rica. I just have to tell her that. Seems like she might put up a fight seeing as there is something keeping her from leaving right now. Every time I’ve mentioned it, she tells me she has some unfinished business to tend to.
I’m hoping when we talk tomorrow she will set things straight, and I then I’ll tell her my plan to get the fuck out of this country.
I push open the door toward the bar, and as I do, I just about have a fucking panic attack. Through the open crack, I see ghosts from my past.
What the hell?
My hands shake, my heart pounds.
Cal and Jules are at the bar. Talking to Sadie.
I can’t focus. My knees give out. What are they doing here?
I’ve been playing with fire, acting like there’s no cost to this game I started. The one where I pretended to die, let my fucking friend have a funeral for me.
But I am alive.
He can never know.
If he does, he’ll ask questions that will break his heart if I try to answer honestly.
Questions like, why did you do it?
I’m on the fucking floor, like a traumatized fool, when Sadie comes through the bar, and into the kitchen.
“You have to leave. Now,” she tells me. She reaches for my arm. “Sawyer, I mean it. You need to go to the cottage, okay?”
“Why are they here?”
Sadie exhales, she is shaken too. I see now that her hands are trembling, her eyes darting. Panic rises from both of us.
“Jules said they needed a weekend away from LA. She wanted to bring Cal to her hometown.” Sadie shakes her head. “I don’t know. I pretended I’d only just heard about the pretty supermodel everyone is talking about—which they are talking about. I swear every other conversation in this town is about the girl plucked from the cornfields.” Sadie groans. “Unless you are ready for a shitstorm, you need to go back to the cottage and fucking get your head together. You need to decide how you want this to play out.”
“I want to fucking punch something, that’s what I want,” I tell her. “I didn’t think this through. Fuck.” I pull off the ball cap and run my hands through my hair. “I’m gonna lose my shit, Sadie. I can’t do this.”
She isn’t having it. Taking hold of my hat, she puts it back on my head. With her hands on my shoulders, she squares me up to her. “Enough, Sawyer. You can flip out at the house, not here. Not yet, understand? We can have angry sex tonight. We can fucking cry our little hearts out. But not now. Not yet. Not until you decide how you want this to play out.”
I don’t know what I did to deserve a woman like Sadie. A woman who can put me back together with one swift speech. I was a fucking mess a moment ago and now all I want is to cradle her in my arms and whisper sweet nothings. My anger evaporates with her tough love.
And damn, I swear this is more than tough love right now. It’s real love. The real fucking thing. Because she has every reason to run from me—to say my baggage is too heavy, too much—but she isn’t kicking me out just yet. No, she’s telling me to stay.
“Sawyer, we can get through this, okay?”
I close my eyes, rest my forehead against hers. There is something so real here, between us. I’ve never had a woman who stayed by my side, who saw me as a man, not as a prize. And right now, all I can think about is that I can’t lose this girl.
I kiss her, softly, with promise. I kiss her, deeply and with intention.
My arms wrap around her, her body warm and open. My heart fucking full.
Dusty walks in, interrupting us, and it’s probably for the best because I am about ten seconds away from pulling her out of this bar, opening the door of my Chevy, buckling her in, and leaving this world behind.
“You know there’s a long line out there, Sadie?” he hollers.
“I know, boss,” she says, her eyes still on mine. “Just finishing up some business first.” She steps away, smacks my butt. “When I get off the clock I’ll bring you dinner, okay?” she tells me.
I kiss her again because I can’t fucking help it.
And when I watch her leave the kitchen, knowing Cal and Jules are just on the other side of the door, I remind myself that there is a reason for everything.
And right now, it took death to give me Sadie.
I’d die for her all over again.
10
After last call, and watching Dusty kick the final customers of the night out, I sneak down to the Fuck Club and poke around for few minutes. With a smile on my lips, I make a plan.
Sawyer needs a reason to smile tonight, and so when I hand him the to-go box of tater-tot nachos, I tell him to eat up. He sets down his journal, the one I find him writing in constantly, and takes the food from me, but I see worry lines etched across his face.
“You doing okay?” I ask.
He half-laughs, and I can see this isn’t funny at all.
“I’m a fucking wreck, to be honest.”
“I can only imagine. If my past came to Resting Hollow I think I’d figure out a way to get my car in working order and hit the highway. To be honest, part of me wondered if you’d already be gone.”
Sawyer runs a hand over his jaw. “If it weren’t for you, I would be. Seeing them really messed with my head.”
“If it makes you feel any better, they didn’t talk to me again all night. They mostly drank beer and played pool with some locals Jules seemed to know.”
“Did Cal look happy?” Sawyer asks the question that must be tearing him up inside. He needs to know he didn’t destroy his best friend's life.
“It’s the first time I’ve ever laid eyes on him, Sawyer, but honestly, he seemed alright. I think he and Jules are pretty serious. They were all over one another most of the night.”
Sawyer nods, staring at the unopened box of nachos as if stuck on what to do next. “That’s good, I guess. I mean, having someone to deal with hard shit with is a hell of a lot better than dealing with it alone.”
I plant a kiss squarely on his lips. “Exactly. And that’s why we need to get out of here.”
“Where are we going?” he asks. He’s in a pair of low-slung jeans, and no shirt. For a moment, I debate following through with my plan. We might have plenty of fun right here, but then I remember the handcuffs, the whips, and the stripper pole.
I want to give my man a good show.
But that isn’t the room I am taking him to. I am taking him some place wet. Very wet.
“I was thinking I could take you on a field trip, considering you’ve been holed up in here all night.” I help him open the box of fried food, covered in cheese, and pluck myself a loaded tot. As I push it into his mouth, he licks my finger, and I’m glad I am approaching the night in a lighthearted way—the last thing he needs right now is an intense conversation.
He’s been figh
ting his own demons over the last several hours, alone.
I don’t want him to be alone with anything tonight.
And I don’t want him to fight either.
I want him to lie back and relax.
“Field trip? At 2 a.m.?” He keeps eating, eying me curiously.
“Oh, I may be new in town, but I can deliver. Promise.” I plant a juicy kiss on his lips. “And I’m gonna change while you eat. Then we can go, okay?”
He shakes his head, but he also smiles. “Whatever you say, boss.”
An hour later, I unlock the bar’s back entrance.
“Where did you get keys?” Sawyer asks.
“Baby,” I tell him, “I have my ways. I’m a girl on the run, remember?”
He reaches around me, his hardening cock against my ass, his mouth on my ear. “Were you ever gonna tell me about why you are running?”
I turn slightly, my eyes on his. “Were you gonna tell me why dying was better than sticking around?”
His eyes flash with something dark, but I’m sure mine do too.
“Not tonight,” I tell him. “Okay? Tonight, let’s just pretend.”
That gets a mischievous smile out of him. “Pretend?”
I don’t answer. Instead, I take his hand, leading him to the supply closet and punch in the code 599. It still works, and I’m guessing it’s just changed before the next club opens.
“Careful,” I tell him, reaching for the lights I had found earlier. Flicking them on, the steps leading to the Fuck Club are lit.
“Now this is a field trip I can get behind,” Sawyer growls, his hot breath on my neck, my pussy already responding to his call.
“Oh, you’ll get behind it alright,” I tell him.
At the bottom of the steps, I lead him to the side where there are empty rooms. “Remember the bouncer telling us that there were playrooms back here? Well, I wasn’t all that interested in playing when other people might get involved, but with you?” I reach up and toss his ball cap aside. “I thought if we were alone we might have some fun.”
When I turn on the light for the playroom, I hear Sawyer’s sharp inhalation and can’t help but smile. This playroom has a bed, sure, but that’s not what I’m interested in tonight.
There’s a shower in here that’s the biggest one I’ve seen in my life. Eight shower heads, tiled walls, and a soft, cushioned floor.
Tonight Sawyer and I are going to wash one another clean.
“I know you like to get nice and wet, but I had no idea, Sadie,” he says laughing, wrapping his arms around me again, his cock against my back the same way it was outside. His body forms so perfectly against mine and every time our bodies connect, my pussy gets wet and my heart starts to race.
He does something to me I hardly understand.
He makes me feel alive and hot and wanted. I close my eyes and exhale, as Sawyer’s hands run over my breasts, cupping them.
I feel like I fit with him. And there’s no reason that makes sense. Our lives are opposites, our pasts so disjointed. Yet somehow, we both ended up here. We were brought to this moment.
To this sleepy town.
To this dive bar.
To this shower room.
“Tell me the dirtiest thing you’ve ever done,” Sawyer says as he unbuttons my jean shorts, yanking them to my ankles and reaching under the waistband of my panties—he has one destination in mind. My pussy.
“Mmm, are we playing Truth or Dare?”
“Do you like playing games like that?” Sawyer asks as his fingers press against my mound, inching closer to my opening. He likes it when I’m nice and wet for him, and right now, as he groans against me, I know I’m giving him everything he wants.
“I like the idea of playing games with you,” I tease. I arch my ass against him, hard against his cock. He groans in pleasure.
“Damn, girl, it’s been a hell of a long day. You have no idea how badly I needed this.”
I spin around, looking in his eyes,
“I have an idea. I have an idea about how hard it’s been. I’ve seen hard too, Sawyer. And tonight, I don’t want there to be anything hard except your cock. Right now, things are gonna be soft and easy. Things are going to be fun.”
Sawyer lets his head fall back, his hands cupping my ass. “What the fuck did I do to deserve you?”
“I don’t think either of us did anything good, but somehow we did something right.” I kiss him gently like I promised. Nothing hard. Not now. Not yet. Maybe when we get in the shower things can get intense, but before we start fucking, I need him to know that things don’t only need to be rough between us. I need him to know there is space for tenderness too. “You and me, Sawyer. We are right.”
He manages to make me melt between kisses. “Right time. Right place.”
“Exactly,” I say, smiling. “Now, don’t you want to hear all about the filthy things I’ve done? Things I’ve thought about?”
He nods, a smile spreading across his perfectly dimpled face.
“You need to come right here… closer, like a good boy, and let me tell you how I’ve been a dirty, dirty girl.”
I push him to the edge of the bed, and he leans back on his elbows watching as I lift my T-shirt over my head and drop it to the floor. I reach back and unclasp my bra, throw it aside, and pinch my nipples, holding my breath, letting go and allowing one hand to travel to my pussy. I lift one foot to the bed, giving Sawyer access to my juicy cunt.
I press a finger to my folds, moving over my clit in a practiced motion.
“I love to touch myself,” I tell him. “I love to get myself off. I read dirty novels with my thighs spread apart, touching myself until I come all over my hand.”
Sawyer groans, pulling off his jeans.
“Oh yeah, and where would you touch yourself?” Sawyer asks.
“I’d go to the bathroom and lock the door. I’d run a tub of warm water, then I’d lean back and get myself off in a bath drawn for one. Do you want to see what I mean?” I ask.
His eyes darken, questioning.
“Well, this is the shower room. A place to get all clean. But first I wanted you to know that I was filthy dirty. Now we can get nice and clean.”
“Is this why you brought me here? You wanted to wash me up?”he asks, licking his lips. “You want to take away all the dirty things from my past?” Sawyer asks, his voice low and gravelly.
“No, those dark things from the past are what make us who we are. I don’t want to erase my past.” I shudder as my finger rolls over my clit, and I know I’m close to coming. Sawyer’s bare cock is before me, so big and long, hard and ready. It gets me so fucking horny—so fucking his.
“I’m scared to tell you about it,” I tell him. “But I’m not ashamed. I did what I had to do. I’m guessing the reason you killed yourself was that you needed to do it also. I’m not interested in regret, Sawyer. But if you want me to wash away your sins, I’ll do my very best.”
I bite my bottom lip and close my eyes; my fingers slide out of my pussy and I drop my eyes to his. Everything suddenly becomes intense with just one sentence.
And that is the reality of Sawyer and me. Everything between us can turn into something deep and dark at the turn of the phrase.
“I didn’t mean for things to become heavy right now,” I tell him. He sits up, his hard cock between us, my dripping pussy, his. While I’m standing between his legs, he wraps his arms around my waist, resting his cheek on my belly. My hands thread through his hair.
“Things always get so fucking heavy between us,” I tell him, tears pricking the corners of my eyes. I couldn’t bear to lose Sawyer now, after this time we’ve shared.
He knows me in ways no one else does.
And he doesn’t even know the entire truth.
“That’s not a bad thing,” he tells me. “It’s a good fucking thing. Because what’s happening between you and me, it’s fucking real, Sadie. I don’t want to lose it. I want to hold onto it. I want to hold onto you.�
�� And he does. Sawyer holds me and I hold him and I don’t want to let go.
“I haven’t shown you my scars,” I tell him. “All the dark things I’ve been through, the things that brought me to this moment. I haven’t shared them, but I don’t regret them. I’m not ashamed of my story. Are you ashamed of yours, Sawyer?”
He looks up at me and his eyes hold so much emotion.
“I didn’t think I was ashamed. But dammit, Sadie, seeing Cal tonight, it makes me wonder if I fucked it all up. If I made the right choice.”
“We’ll find out if you made the right choice soon enough. We can make decisions about how we want to move on. What we want to do next. Our choices define us, sure, but that isn’t a bad thing. From where I’m standing you and me, we’re not all bad.”
Sawyer reaches for my hands and we lace our fingers together. In this moment, I feel like I am his and he is mine
“I don’t want to wash away my story, Sadie. But right now, for tonight at least, I want to forget it.”
“Me too,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “That’s why I brought you here. To give you space to turn off your brain..., and me space to turn you on.”
Sawyer kisses my cheek, my nose, my eyelids, my nose. I don’t know what it is about him and me, but whatever it is... it’s real.
It’s ours.
“The showers in this playroom might as well be put to good use,” I tell him.
He smiles, kissing me softly, looking in my eyes. “I come from a city built on lies, but this thing happening between you and me is the real fucking deal. So maybe we’re not going to take a shower and wash away all our sins, but we can wash away some of the pain.”
His words and his eyes and his touch say everything I need to know. They tell me everything.
And then he lifts me up and carries me to the shower.
I will give him everything I have to give.
11
When I turn on the shower, it’s a cascading waterfall, and watching Sadie under the steady stream gets me turned on in seconds.
Her tits glisten from the water pouring over her, her beautiful long hair is that of a mermaid, her entire body drenched, and after the words we’ve just shared, I know she is mine.