by S. L. Scott
The burn is instant in my throat when I sip the cognac. I can’t help but feel that burn is indicative of things to come, so I cough, trying to ease it, trying to ease my fate.
“It’s disrespectful to gulp expensive cognac,” my dad says lightheartedly. “And probably burns your throat more that way.”
With a croaky voice, I say, “Oh, trust me, the cheap shit will do the exact same thing.”
“Please don’t swear, Evan,” my Mother scolds. She sets her glass down and hugs me. “I’m off. I have lots of work to do on the Ashford Gala in December. I’ll leave you two gentlemen to discuss business. A reminder, Evan, tomorrow is The Metropolitan Opera House Charity Ball.” She stops in the doorway, turning back. “Will you be bringing a date? I need to confirm our reservation.”
I watch her carefully as she tries hard to sound like this is an afterthought when in actuality she has probably been thinking about this question for weeks.
“No, no date.” I keep my tone flat, not open for discussion.
She clasps her hands together in front of her face in excitement, and says, “Very good. I’ve already emailed your secretary the details. Black tie and I’ll see you there. Oh, and Evan, please don’t be late. Thank you, darling.”
“I won’t be.” I swirl the cognac before looking at my dad and asking, “How are you feeling about the board meeting?”
“More importantly,” he asks, “how are you feeling?”
“I, uh, I’m a bit anxious. I’m ready for it to be over and to move on.”
He chuckles to himself. “Yes, I couldn’t agree more.”
“Do you really want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Good. It makes me more nervous to talk about it with you.” I laugh, but quickly add, “This has been Kate’s full focus for two weeks now. She was reading files and stats all summer.” I walk to the large window overlooking the city and stare out for a solid minute before I speak again. “She’s doing a good job.” I turn to face him. He’s seated at his desk, looking almost regal. “You know, she’ll put in the hours and she has the drive—”
“Kate’s already working for the company. Of course, I know she’ll do a good job or I wouldn’t have her there, daughter or not.”
“I’m just saying—”
“I know what you’re saying. You want me to consider her for what I have planned for you. Correct?” He sits forward, his posture tense as his eyes lock on mine.
“Yes.”
“I saw how good you felt when you closed Pinho, so before you go throwing away opportunities, I want you to give me more than a hundred percent over the next couple months. I think you will find this business even more rewarding than today.” He stands, setting his glass down, and walks towards the door. “In many ways, but you have to give it a chance.”
He leaves me there with over-priced cognac and a lot to think about. I down the drink to spite his previous warning. Standing, I set the crystal glass on the side table and go back to my apartment across the hall.
When I open the door, Kate is sitting at the dining table with combed wet hair, a robe on, and her glasses. She looks up from a stack of papers lying in front of her, and says, “Hey, how’d it go over there?”
“Fine.” I walk past her tugging at my tie to loosen it. “I’m going to bed.”
She follows me down the hall to my room. “What’s wrong?”
Maybe it’s the cognac or feeling like I was under a microscope all night. Or maybe it’s all the pressure everyone’s putting on me, but I snap. “Shit!” I go inside my room, hearing her trail behind me. “What am I doing here, Kate? This isn’t me,” I state, disgruntled, as I pull off my tie and throw it on the bed.
“What’s not you? The business, the clothes, the city? Evan, it might be time to grow up.”
“I don’t want another fucking lecture in the form of ‘advice’ if that’s okay with you.”
“Try this on for size then. What you’re doing here is important. It’s important to more than just you. You’re a part of something here.” She walks to my bed and sits on the edge as I remain standing, arms crossed, and listen. “Hawaii is great. Murphy is great and Mallory is great, but they have chosen their path and you have one that has chosen you. You need to stop thinking about only the here and now, and start thinking about the future. I’m not trying to lecture you, but you really do need to think of the big picture.”
“Nice,” I start, having trouble keeping the sarcasm at bay. “So you’ve moved back here with the go-getters and ladder-climbers and you fall in line and forget all about Murphy? Just like that. That easy, huh, Kate? Well, I’m sorry, but I refuse—”
She’s looking down at her feet when her head bolts upright. “I’m not forgetting about Murphy! I love him, but he’s in school and I’m working. We’re trying to make it work the best we can and right now that means we’re apart. We’re doing what we have to do in the present. Sometimes that’s not the easy route, but it’s the mature thing to do. What’s wrong with that?”
I sit down next to her, looking at the wall straight ahead, my gaze following the lines of the plaster. “There’s nothing wrong with that if you have to do it, but don’t you miss him?”
“More than anything, but me being in Hawaii doing nothing wouldn’t help either of us.” I see a half smile cross her face, and with a light laugh, she says, “It would probably tear us apart.”
Keeping my voice as low as I can where she can still hear me, I let her know my inner thoughts. “I love her. I love Mallory.”
“I know you do, but you still need to live your life. I’m not saying you have to date someone else. I’m just saying that you have to be able to function and work and play and live even when you’re not together.” She wraps her arm around me and leans her head on my shoulder. “Mallory should be going to parties and class and hanging out with her friends. She deserves to have the full college experience while she can. You don’t really want her to miss out on the fun that she should be having because she’s at home pining over you.”
“I want her to enjoy herself, but I don’t want to lose her either. And that’s looking very fucking likely if I’m working all the time.”
“She loves you. It’s time to trust her, Evan. Mallory is pretty damn hot and she’s going to get hit on, but you have to trust that the feelings you share for each other are more than a superficial summer thing.”
“Being a grown up is way over-rated!”
Kate bursts out laughing, “You can say that again.”
“Being a grown up…OW!” She pops me in the arm.
“Smartass!” She leaves on that note.
I change into a t-shirt and pajama pants and join Kate at the table. Sitting down, I smile. “Okay, let’s do this then.”
Kate and I ride into work using the car service together. We get to the office right before 6:30 in the morning, the only ones there this early. The lights flicker on automatically as we walk from the elevator to our offices in the back.
After checking our voicemails and emails, we meet in the conference room and place the handouts in front of each chair at the table. Yes, we have people who can hand the files out to each board member, but the easy task helps to calm my nerves.
At seven, the catering company shows up to set up the breakfast buffet. I’m walking back to my office, to return emails and mentally prepare, when I notice light coming from under my dad’s office door. I knock lightly and he responds, “Come in.”
The door has a creak when it opens. I walk inside. “Morning, I didn’t know you were here.”
He looks up from his paperwork spread out on his desk, removes his glasses, and rubs the bridge of his nose. “I’ve been here for a few hours.”
“If I’d known, I would’ve stopped by sooner.”
“I knew you and your sister were busy. I appreciate all the efforts.”
I sit down next to him. “Of course, I know this is serious.” I look at the photo frames on the shelv
es behind him and notice that they’re all of me and Kate. In one photo, I’m sitting in my father’s desk chair when I was two or three. I was happy spinning around. There’s another one of me smiling with pride while holding the varsity jacket letters I earned my senior year in high school. There were six for all the activities I participated in. That was taken before Lani’s death. I look happy and hopeful despite the hard partying I was doing. I’ve been trying to get back to that emotional state ever since, but it’s been a struggle. I have different goals than I did back then. Now I want to do everything I can to help my dad retain his position in his company. After that, I’ll get the hell out of this city to follow my own dreams, which are still somewhat to be determined.
There are other pictures behind him, Kate winning Prom Queen and one of her graduating last May cum laude from NYU. But when my eyes meet his, he asks, “Have you ever seen this picture, Evan?”
He turns an eight by ten silver frame from his desk around for me to see. I nod, recognizing it instantly. It’s a picture of my mother holding me, as a newborn, in her arms with Kate on her hip. Kate is kissing or licking my head, I can’t be sure, but it makes me smile. My mother looks so young which is amazing because she looks pretty damn young now. She’s relaxed and happy. Her hair hangs down all natural, soft waves catching the light from the window. She’s beautiful.
“I’ve always loved this picture of the three of you. It actually motivates me to do my best because it reminds me that I have people relying on me. Have you seen this picture?” My dad hands me a smaller silver framed photo. “That’s all of the New York office employees last year at the Gala. It’s also a good reminder of my responsibilities to this company.”
I look up, meeting his focused gaze and I reassure him, “You’re not going anywhere. Kate and I will make sure of it. I know you’re not ready to retire. We all do.” I stand up, knowing I need to take care of a few things before the meeting starts. Leaning forward, he takes my hand in his and shakes it. His other hand covers the back of mine. He doesn’t need to say anything more. He’s placed his trust in us and I refuse to let him down. Standing up, I hang onto the company photo. “Can I hold onto this one? I’d like to have it in the meeting.”
He nods, puts his glasses back on, and starts flipping through the papers on his desk again.
Kate and I welcome the board members to the offices and she leads the discussion. As representatives of the company and our father, she plans to show that he’s behind all the success of Ashford Holdings.
We listen to eight of the twelve members and the opinions seem to vary based on that individual’s goals for the company or what they want to see happen with the company in the long run.
Lunch is brought in and during that time, we break from the meeting to return emails or call-backs. Kate and I sit on opposite ends of the large conference table and through casual conversation, drive our message home. I glance at the silver frame of the employees throughout the meeting to remind me of the importance of keeping my father in his rightful place, leading this company to further success.
I stand behind Kate as she knocks on my fathers’ office door. Most of the employees have gone home, but my father calls, “Come in.” He’s always the last to leave.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in a tux and across town in an hour?” Kate asks, sitting down in front of his desk.
“Your mother is going to kill me if we’re late to the cocktail party before this ball. As one of the organizers, she is supposed to be there to greet guests, but I had a few things on my mind.” He stands and puts on his jacket, preparing to leave. He looks distant and worried.
“Dad, don’t you want to know the results of the board vote?” Kate asks, watching him look for his keys.
He doesn’t say anything, but stills.
“You’re in. It’s all okay. You’re still in charge, old man,” she says.
His head pops up and looks at her in disbelief. “What?” He looks at me and asks, “What?”
I walk toward him and confirm what Kate said. “You’re still running this place. You think you can handle it?”
With his confidence back, he grabs us both into a group hug. “I can definitely handle it.” His face is buried between us and he whispers, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.” It sounds as if he’s on the verge of crying and I hear Kate sniffle. I remain quiet, closing my eyes, and appreciating this moment.
“I love you, kids. Always know I love you.”
I know in this moment he’s speaking from his heart. He wouldn’t have said any different if we would have failed. Kate tells him the same, but I also feel her hand on my back, gripping my shirt to silently let me know she means me too.
“I love you, Dad.” I wrap my arm around Kate’s waist and squeeze a little. “I love you too, Katie.”
After a strong clap to the back, my dad says, “I really have to go before I get my butt kicked by your mother.”
We laugh at this relaxed and rare remark from our dad.
“We’ll see you there. We have some stuff to do before we go home,” Kate says, signaling us to leave.
“Son, you’re still coming tonight, right?”
“Yes, I’ll be there.”
“Good. I don’t like to upset the little missus.”
Once I’m back at my desk in the privacy of my office, I call Mallory.
“Hhhhiiiii, babe,” she answers, sounding a bit relaxed herself.
“Hey there. I just got out of the meeting. It lasted all day,” I say, kicking my feet up on my desk, leaning back, and enjoying my city view. “Long story short, my dad is still President and won’t be retiring anytime soon.”
“That sounds like a curse as much as a blessing,” she laughs.
“Yeah, to me also. So your first week of classes is under your belt. How do you feel?”
“Fantastic. Sarah is here and we’re chatting about it now.”
“Well, tell her ‘hello’ from me.”
“I will. I think we’re gonna go down to The Sink tonight.”
“What’s The Sink?”
“Oh,” she giggles again. “I forget you don’t know about any of the local places here. Um, it’s a bar near campus where a lot of our friends hang out.” As she’s talking, I realize that she has this whole other life that I know nothing about. I look at my shoes, noticing the new scuffs on them and try not to feel bad, when she says, “I get to be the one to introduce all these places to you. Though I have to admit, most of the campus hangouts are pretty dull.”
“They wouldn’t be with you there.”
I smile as her tone turns playful. “Mr. Ashford, you flatter me so.”
“And I always will, my love.”
She’s quiet for a moment then says, “I guess Sarah’s ready to go.”
I take my feet off my desk and sit up straight, remembering how I need to let her have these experiences. “Oh yeah, you go. I have this event I have to attend tonight anyway.”
“An event?” she asks, her voice changing as her curiosity piques.
“Yeah, this ball that raises money for the Met Opera—”
“A ball?”
“Yeah, a stuffy event. It should be a pretty boring meet and greet type thing.”
“Why does it suddenly feel like we’re living in two different worlds? I’m heading down to The Sink in old leggings and a baggy Colorado sweatshirt.” She says exactly what I’m thinking. On the plus side, that outfit she’s wearing might be the perfect guy repellant from the sound of it and that makes me smile. “And you’re off to a fancy schmancy ball.” I hear her swallow loudly. “Are you wearing a tuxedo?”
I smile. “Yes.” I appreciate her jealousy.
Another loud swallow. “Send me a picture of you in that tux, okay? I guess I should go. Sarah’s standing at the door tapping her foot,” she says. “Congratulations to your family and to you, Evan. I’m proud of you.”
I’m not ready to hang up, but I will for her. “Have fun tonight.�
�
“You too, babe.” She sounds like she’s trying to sound happy, but I can tell she’s not.
“Yeah, okay.”
We hang up on that awkward note and I can’t help but feel we’re out of sync right now, living in two different worlds.
Sarah buys two gin and tonics and returns from the bar with a smile on her face. Sliding onto her stool with a mischievous look in her eye, she says, “Everybody is here tonight, Mal. I’m so glad you finally came out.”
“You know you’re able to go out without me.” My sarcasm is on point tonight. I shift on my stool as I’m elbowed from behind. “And yes, I think you’re right. Everybody is out tonight and they are all crammed in here.”
“Perk up, girlie!” she says, poking my shoulder. “No bummer talk. I know you miss Evan, but let’s have some fun. Can we please do that?”
“I feel bad about how we ended our call earlier though.”
“Mallory, I’m sure you were both just distracted. I mean you said he was going out and you were going out.” Her words don’t soothe my concerns. “Now c’mon, let’s enjoy being out. We finished the first full week of classes of our senior year. That deserves a toast!”
We hold up our glasses, tap them together and take a sip. After a few more sips, enough sips to finish my drink, I go to the bar to order the next round. Sarah’s right. A lot of our friends are here tonight and it’s fun to get off campus. I need to relax, so I order two more gin and tonic’s and wait.
Just as the bartender tells me ‘ten even’, a voice next to me says, “I got it.”
Looking to my right, Ryan is standing next to me, handing the bartender cash.
“You don’t need to do that. I have money,” I say, feeling uneasy about him buying the drinks.