by Glen Cook
Block told me, "That business with the serial-killer spell that kept recasting itself made the prince love me. I'm almost untouchable. Almost. My cynical side says that's because nobody else wants the job. It certainly is thankless. But business is good. New villains jump up as fast as we harvest the old ones. They're like the dragon's teeth in that old myth. I'm endlessly amazed that so many of them survived the war."
I shrugged. I didn't know the one about the dragon's teeth.
Block is a compact, thin man with short brown hair quickly going gray. He needed a shave. He'd make a fair spy because there was nothing remarkable about him. You wouldn't notice him unless he yelled in your face. When I first met him, at a time when the law was honored more in the taking of bribes than actual enforcement, he'd had a mouth as filthy as the Goddamn Parrot's and all the manners of a starving snake.
I wasn't sure I liked the new, improved, mannered and unantagonistic, dedicated Block better than the angry old one.
I told him, "In the old days you never seemed like the dedicated type. You only did what you had to to get by."
A shadow brushed his features. "I got religion, Garrett."
"Huh?"
"I let Relway talk me into putting him on full-time. Big mistake. His conviction infects everybody around him."
"It does." Given his head Relway will exterminate the concept of crime by the end of the year. He's a man with a holy mission. He's scary.
"So what's up? Going to collect favors owed?"
"Not entirely. I want to ask about The Call. And I want to talk about Max Weider. Somebody's trying to squeeze him." I betrayed tradition and fed him all the details.
He was suspicious. "Why tell me?"
I would have been suspicious, too. In the past I'd kept him in the dark on principle.
"My partner insisted. And I owe Weider. It would be handy if somebody official was watching if something happened."
"What could happen?"
"With these rightsists? Anything."
"No shit. You heard about those people burning up on the north side?"
"I heard. I didn't pay attention. I've been busy."
"They're people with no connection to each other, drunks and no-accounts who couldn't make an enemy on a bet. But they've been burning up."
"You're pulling my leg."
"No. It's happened six times. It's got to be sorcery. Relway wants it to connect with the rights business but I don't see it. I can't see some teetotaling sorceress setting drunks on fire, either, though."
"You think it would be a woman?"
"If it was a teetotaller. You know any men dead set against spirits?"
"Only one." And I have to live with him. "So what about it? Is The Call moving into the rackets?"
"I haven't heard that. Jirek!"
The door opened. A creature limped in. He wasn't human. Not much, anyway. There was a little of everything in him but the three main ingredients appeared to be ogre, troll, and ugly. The whole was complicated by birth defects and wounds. Jirek moved sort of sideways, stiffly and bent, like his back hurt all the time.
"Jirek was injured in the ambush at Council Wells."
A veteran, then. Yet not human. Another one of those inconvenient complications I'd pointed out to Carter and Trace. Some of our biggest heroes aren't even human.
"Council Wells. One of our great victories," I observed.
"Do I detect the odor of sarcasm?"
Council Wells was supposed to have been a preliminary peace conference. The Karentine army concealed commando forces in the surrounding desert. Those patriots murdered the Venageti delegates in their sleep.
Another of those little triumphs that, when totalled, helped Karenta win the war.
"Me sarcastic? The gods forfend."
Jirek's great knobbly green mess of a face twisted and wriggled into a grotesque smile. Then he guffawed. His breath could gag a maggot. But he had a sense of humor.
Block told him, "Relway should be in his cell. Tell him I need him."
Jirek told me, "Good joke," then left.
"What was that?" I asked.
"Jirek. A unique." Which was slang for a breed who had extremely complicated antecedents. "He saved my ass a couple times in the Cantard. He was a perfect soldier. Too dumb to question authority. Just did what he was told. And was one bad boy in a fight."
"I just might change my mind about you."
"Don't brag about it. People might wonder why it took so long to rid yourself of the old, clogged one."
"And I thought I was developing a new relationship with the minions of the law."
Relway arrived. A little guy, he sort of oozed into Block's cell, no knock, like a shadow that didn't want to be noticed.
Relway is another unique, a completely improbable mixture. His interior landscape is a strange, strange land, too. He has a chip on his shoulder big enough to provide lumber for four houses. He's so far into law and order that he considers himself above any law that might restrain his efforts to crush crime. Now his auxiliaries and spies and midnight avengers are everywhere. It shouldn't be long till his name becomes one of the most feared in TunFaire.
Relway the man (using "man" generically, to indicate a sentient creature that walks on its hind legs) is almost unknown. I know him only because chance put me in the right place back when.
He nodded. "Garrett. You been keeping well?" His voice was hoarse, cracking, only half there.
"I'm fine. You pick up a cold?"
"The weather's been strange. I hear you might know something about that."
"Me? I was out there freezing my butt off with everybody else." Why relive my misadventures amongst mobs of low-grade, feuding gods?
He gave me that look all lawmen develop. It says not one word dripping from your filthy mouth is true now, nor ever has been. The power had gone to his head, though there was no denying the good being done. He had the bad guys rattled.
"What's that on your shoulder, Garrett?"
Block had done me the courtesy of ignoring that owl in a clown suit. "My lunch. I'll share. Stoke up the fire."
The Goddamn Parrot—or the Dead Man speaking through the buzzard's beak—had to have his word. "Awk! Jerk alert!"
"How do you do that without moving your lips?" Relway asked.
"It's a trick they teach Marines."
Relway asked, "We got something, Wes?"
They were getting cuddly now?
"Maybe. You've been working the rights gangs?"
"Where I can. They're hard to infiltrate. Mostly they form from groups who knew each other in the Cantard."
I still hang out with guys I knew down there. We don't spend good beer-drinking time trying to figure out how to hurt people, though.
Relway continued, "Big mobs like The Call are more vulnerable. Everybody doesn't know everybody. The Call proper is organized like the army. And Marengo North English is building a real private army. Freecorps Theverly, they're calling it."
"Is Colonel Theverly with them?" I was surprised, though I hadn't known Lieutenant Colonel Moches Theverly well enough to make sound assessments of his feelings toward nonhumans. He treated everybody the same in the zone. He was one of few officers who didn't go around with his head firmly inserted in a dark, stinky place.
"A man of conviction, the colonel." Shadows stirred behind Relway's eyes. "You know him?"
"I worked for him in the islands. Briefly. He got hurt and they pulled him out just before the Venageti overran us. The wound cost him a leg if I remember right. He was a good officer."
"That's not why you're here?"
"No. I didn't know about that."
Block asked, "Is The Call moving into the rackets, Deal? As a fund-raising activity?"
Relway frowned. "You have a run-in, Garrett?"
"I have a client. Max Weider. The brewery Weider."
Relway nodded. My relationship with Weider was no secret.
"His daughter Alyx says somebody claiming to be from The Ca
ll took a run at her brother Ty. They wanted a piece of the gross. That didn't sound like The Call. But if they need money to conjure up their own army, they might try more creative ways of getting it."
"They might," Relway agreed. "I haven't heard of it being discussed seriously. Yet. On the other hand, they have discussed other areas traditionally associated with the Outfit—where those exploit nonhumans."
"Two birds, one stone?"
"Exactly. The Call's Inner Council put it, ‘We deem it fitting that the disease provide the means of sustaining the cure.' "
Interesting. Sounded like he attended Call council meetings himself. "They're pushing Chodo and they're still healthy?" I wouldn't have thought even the most fanatic member of The Call would dare jostle Chodo Contague. Chodo was the king of organized crime. Nobody poached in Chodo's territory. Nobody, that is, who wasn't ready to fight a major war. It's impossible to imagine a deadlier enemy than Chodo Contague.
I knew the real head of the combine more intimately than Relway suspected. Chodo's daughter Belinda is young but so hard she can cut steel.
Relway smiled his nastiest. "That'll be temporary. You know the Contagues. And what they can do."
"O evil day," I said.
"Cute. The short answer is, The Call have shown no interest in extortion. But this could be a test case. If Weider knuckles under and they get the brewery in their pocket, Weider's peers will fall in line."
"I know Max. He won't give in even if it costs ten times as much to fight. Most of the commercial class would agree—even where their political sympathies belong to The Call. They won't want the precedent set. They didn't get rich by being easily intimidated."
Tinnie and Nicks running with Alyx might be as much business as friendship. The Tates were big in shoes. The family Nicholas, in its several branches, were involved in winemaking, coal mining, and inland shipping.
In each case, possibly even including that of the beer baron, I would have been reluctant to listen to a standard appeal. But send a beautiful girl and you can get Garrett's attention every time.
I'm too damned predictable. But they keep on making pretty girls.
The shadows still swirled behind Relway's eyes. And those focused on me while the darkness pranced. "We have a basis for a deal, Garrett," he mused.
"Uh... "
"Apparently you don't approve of my methods. You don't need to and I don't care if you do. You're a textbook case of inflexible goodguyitis." He chuckled at his own neologism. Scary, a Relway with a sense of humor. Maybe this one was a changeling. "But that don't mean we can't help each other."
That's why I came back to see Block. "I'm listening."
"Overwhelm me with enthusiasm."
"I'm a regular ball of fire. Everybody says so."
"You'd fit with the rightsists without any effort. You're the kind of guy they want."
Must be. Else yahoos like Stockwell and Wendover wouldn't come pounding on my door. "I'd only have to shuck about half my beliefs."
Relway's grin revealed teeth definitely not human. "You served with those people. You know how they think. You've heard all their knee-jerk crap. How hard could it be to parrot it?" His grin got bigger. He stared at Mr. Big. "Put some words in your own mouth."
I grunted, hoped Relway and Block didn't think too much about the bird. I didn't need them figuring out the fact that the Dead Man was riding my shoulder by proxy. "I could. But why should I?" This was starting to sound like work.
"I can't get my people inside. These crackpots are abidingly paranoid. If a man has even a tenth part nonhuman blood, he's a breed and part of the problem. Never mind he might have been a war hero. The spiders spinning the web of hatred are sure humankind can be redeemed only through the extinction of the rest of the races. Even to the extreme of hunting down and expunging every drop of nonhuman blood. Otherwise us uniques might breed back to original stock."
I guess my mouth was open. Luckily no flies were working the cell. "That's so damned ridiculous—"
"What does ridiculous have to do with belief? Those people are out there, Garrett."
I wanted to argue but my last case had involved several religions, each more unlikely than the last.
People will believe anything when they need to believe something. A lot have to believe in something bigger than themselves, whether that is a cause or a god. What doesn't necessarily matter as long as something is there.
"I understand."
"You don't have to sign a pact in blood. Just drift farther inside than you planned, then let me know what you find."
"And what'll you do for me?"
"Keep you posted on what I learn. And protect the Weiders—if it comes to that."
I owed Old Man Weider a lot. I owed the Tates some, too. "Could you keep an eye on the Tates while you're at it?"
Relway sighed. "I suppose I can do that." He smiled. Pity about those teeth. "You make peace with your friend?"
My life is an entertainment for all TunFaire. Everybody knows every time Tinnie winks at me. "They're special to me."
"You have a deal. Wes, I've got to wander, see what's new on the street." He can do that. Little scruff like him, nobody would believe he's Relway.
"Wait up," I said. "Couple things more. Ever hear of Black Dragon Valsung?"
Relway shrugged, showed me his palms. "Which is what?"
"Supposed to be a new freecorps. Colonel Norton Valsung commanding, lately of the Black Dragon Brigade."
Relway shook his head. Block said, "Never heard of either one."
"Me neither. That's what made me wonder."
"What?" Relway wanted to know.
"Two squeaky-clean clerk types named Carter Stockwell and Trace Wendover came to the house today. Wanted me to join their outfit."
Block and Relway glanced at each other. Block said, "Means nothing to me."
Relway said, "There're always new gangs. I'll keep an ear open."
Block waved. Relway headed for the door. I started to go myself. Block told me, "Hang on, Garrett."
"Uhm?"
"If you do get involved, you be real careful. These people are nasty."
"I've been playing with the bad boys a long time. I don't make mistakes anymore."
"Only takes one, Garrett. Smart guys get dead, too."
"Point taken. Thanks."
"One more thing. Relway gets too focused sometimes. Doesn't think about whatever don't bear on what interests him right now."
"You leading up to something?"
"Yes. His people saw Crask and Sadler yesterday. Remember them? You should. They're back in town and too stupid not to be seen."
"Never heard either one accused of genius." I shivered. Not much scares me but Crask and Sadler are stone-cold professional killers of the worst sort. The sort who want to hurt Mrs. Garrett's only surviving son. They're that lucky kind of professional who get to do work they really enjoy.
Crask and Sadler have a sack full of bones to pick with Mama Garrett's favorite boy. I helped run them out of town. I helped fix them up with a Combine price on their heads.
"I'll watch out."
"Do. Hey! Teach that ugly sack of feathers to scout for you."
"You hear that, bird?"
The Goddamn Parrot kept his beak shut. A remarkable state of affairs.
10
Crask and Sadler. Damn! I thought those double-uglies were out of my life for good.
They tried to take over when Chodo had his stroke—which few people knew about. Most think he's still in charge. They wouldn't if Belinda hadn't outfoxed Crask and Sadler when they made their grab. Them knowing about Chodo, and their deadly enmity, explained Belinda's eagerness to elevate them to the next plane.
Nowadays Chodo is a lump of meat imprisoned in a wheelchair. Belinda has no use for him except to pretend her orders come from him.
Block again told me, "You take care."
"You too." I decided to say it. "I like this Westman Block better than the old one."
&
nbsp; That got me a sour look and, "Might be smart not to turn up here again. You go out on the fringe, you'll never know who's watching or what their real loyalties are."
I paused outside the jail, studied the street. At the best of times watching your surroundings closely is wise. Our great city never lacks for characters willing to steal your gold tooth in broad daylight while you're watching.
Nobody was interested in me. I didn't appear threatening, nor weak enough to be an easy victim.
I felt good. I had an accommodation with the law—which would work for me because Max Weider is a municipal treasure.
It was a gorgeous day, a tad warm but with a nice breeze, a few scurrying clouds dancing on a sky so blue it defined the color for all time. It was the kind of day that makes us daytime people feel good. The kind of day when people laugh, visit friends not seen for a while, conceive children. The kind of day when bloodlettings are few and even the scroats take time off to appreciate what a wonderful world it can be. It was the kind of day when Relway's crew might get into mischief because they had too much time on their hands.
I headed east and north. It was time I visited an old friend of my own.
The streets were crowded but the activists were having trouble working up much indignation. If the weather held, the coffinmakers and crematoria would catch up and have to cut pieces.
A centaur clip-clopped past. He wore an old army blanket. I couldn't make out the regimental mark. He couldn't be real bright. If that blanket was loot and not a Crown issue to an auxiliary formation, possession could get him killed.
Some days it could anyway.
He was drunk. He didn't care.
The air above swarmed with pixies and fairies and whatnot, the young ones tormenting the pigeons. That wouldn't earn them any enemies who weren't pigeons themselves.
Birds were out courting, too. I noted a few hawks and peregrines way up high. The little people better stay alert... A dimwit peregrine dived at a pixie girl. It drew a flurry of poisoned darts. The wee folk were using the nice day to educate a new generation of predators.
It's a pity people are stupider than falcons. Otherwise, we could teach them not to prey on their own kind.
On days like this, when everyone comes out to soak up the warm, it seems impossible that so many beings live in this city. But TunFaire is really several cities occupying the same site. There are evening peoples and night peoples and morning peoples who never see one another. It is both an accommodation and a way of life. It used to work.