by Ava Ashley
My heart sinks—I had actually thought Rafe came back to talk to me, that somehow seeing me tonight broke through to him.
“Lily, can we talk for a minute?”
I narrow my eyes at him. I’m the one who needs to talk to him about the tournament. Before saying anything, I step outside and shut the door.
“What the hell happened out on the sand today, Liam?” I burst out in a harsh whisper as I try to control myself. I really don’t want everyone hearing this. “I don’t need you fixing the show for me. I have enough problems as it is. The others have it out for me, and now they think I cheated to win the tournament.”
He shakes his head like I’m overreacting.
“Now, now, Lily—”
“Don’t patronize me, either.” I poke his chest with my finger, then remember he’s basically my boss. It sends him back a step, though, a little farther away from the door.
“You won by playing well. And didn’t you hear Rafe? He thought deciding by overall points was fair.” Liam tilts his head, trying for a little boy smile.
I sigh, not sure how to push this any further. Then I add, “Please don’t do that again. I don’t need help. I can hold my own just fine.”
“That’s what I came to talk to you about.”
“The volleyball games?”
“No, Lily... about doing your part for the show.”
I stiffen.
“You just said I got to the top by playing well. I was doing my part. I played my heart out so I could win that date.”
“Exactly. You won that date and then didn’t use it.”
“How’s that? I thought I did pretty well tonight.” Where was this coming from? Did Rafe talk to him?
“You’re the old flame. We have our rich blonde and a desperate brunette, a bubbling redhead... You’re his past trying to reclaim him. You need to chase Rafe more.”
“I am! What else can I do when he won’t talk to me? He hates me.”
“Well, change that. Change his mind somehow. Figure out a way to fight for him if you want to stay on the show.”
“Apparently, you didn’t watch tonight’s footage then,” I snap, my hand going to my hip. I want to poke a finger at him again but hold back so he’ll listen.
“I did,” he cuts me off. “I got the report at least. You didn’t say a word to him at the table.”
“I was on the dance floor getting his attention. He danced with me. And he talked to me on the way back here.”
“A sentence.” Liam sighs. “What happened when you said good night? What did he say to you?”
I shrug. “Basically good night. We didn’t say much.”
“It looked like a fight. I like that, but not if you can’t win him over. We have big dollars riding on this show, and that’s why we let you in.”
“And I’m working my ass off.”
“We need more. Make it happen.” Liam turns and strides down the hallway.
Well, thanks for the helpful suggestions! What does ‘make it happen’ mean?
Mel’s head is sticking out of her door just enough for me to catch her sly smile. I scoff and go back inside my room. Kara and Annabel glance guiltily at me, their expressions letting me know they heard it all.
“Tough break,” Kara says. With just one lamp on at this late hour, I can’t read her face clearly.
“Yeah, that’s hard,” Annabel pipes in. “Sorry, Lily.”
“Thanks. But don’t worry about me. I got this.” I slide into bed and roll away from them, my thoughts swirling and my heart pumping hard. Hopefully they can’t hear or see me shaking.
Make it happen?
How the hell do I do that? What more can I do? He actually looked at me and we talked tonight. His eyes...that look he gave me on the dance floor. He wanted me.
And I wanted him. His touch can still send me into overdrive as hormones speed through my veins and make my body throb for him.
The lamp switches off and I close my eyes, trying to force myself to calm down.
“Want to talk about it?” Annabel’s soft voice asks.
“No thanks,” I say in the nicest voice I can manage. “I just need some sleep.”
I try counting in my head and listening to them breathe, hoping I can clear my mind of Rafe. The night stretches on forever as I fail at that, and instead, think about nothing but how Rafe looked and how it felt to dance with him. How his hands felt on my hips. How one slid up to mold around my waist. How he watched me, really watched me and the way I moved. I could tell he liked it, even if he’s mad and doesn’t want to talk to me.
I tried to notice if he noticed the other two as much but I got too focused on him and I can’t tell now. He sure talked to them. I knew this would be hard and possibly break my heart, so it doesn’t make sense that I want to give up sometimes.
I can’t take it anymore and slip out of bed as quietly as I can. I change into running clothes in the dark and creep out the door. It shuts silently. I might have escaped without alerting them. I don’t think they’d follow me, but I don’t want to answer their questions tomorrow either.
There’s a half moon lighting the beach just enough that I can run. The world is black, white, and silver as I pound down the beach, letting myself imagine I’m running away from my problems. At some point, however, you always have to turn around. Even then, I keep up my pace and pretend the same thing...until it dawns on me that I’m running back toward Rafe.
When I reach the house, I do twenty pushups on the beach and stretch for a while. There’s a pool house, so I slip in there for a quick shower. I still don’t feel like going to bed, and when I walk out into the cool air wrapped in a big beach towel, the pool calls to me.
It’s early morning by now, maybe two. The house is dark and there’s just a light by the pool house illuminating the patio area, but the pool lights are off. I walk to the edge and drop the towel before diving in. My momentum shoots me across the pool. I surface and push my hair back to get the water off my face. At first, I swim a few laps but find my body is tired from the run. It feels nice to just relax against the edge, my head leaned back on the lip of the pool.
A splash surprises me. I almost gasp but catch myself. I don’t want someone wondering why I’m so startled and seeing that I’m naked.
It’s Rafe. We stare at each other across the pool. That really surprises me. I would have thought he’d take off as soon as he saw me here. He swims up to me, something else I really didn’t expect, and stares me down.
Maybe his feelings toward me are changing? But then I see how hard his eyes look.
“What are you doing here, Lily? Really? Why are you on this show?” He’s mad, but he’s honestly asking. It breaks through my walls.
“I wanted a chance to explain things to you.”
And maybe this is my chance. My heart starts hammering at the thought. Where do I start? How do I get him to listen? I want to talk, but he’s so close. I can feel his heat through the water. I could reach out and touch him. Maybe he’ll touch me. Rafe searches my face, his expression changing. He’s close enough to kiss me, and I see that look in his eyes. He takes another step. We are just inches apart and his gaze darts around my face, taking me in. For once, he doesn’t seem angry. It’s the old Rafe.
This is my chance. I can finally tell him. I push myself to say something when his gaze drops and darts right back up to my face. The surprise in his eyes lets me know he can tell there’s no swimsuit under the surface. Thankfully, it’s too dark for him to see anything though. The thought unhinges me. I want him to need me again. I want him.
But the spell only lasts for so long. His eyes narrow and I see the sizzling anger and hurt—the unanswered questions.
“So explain why you took off and left me to rot in jail.”
I open my mouth, wondering where to begin, but he keeps going.
“Do you know what it was like the day I was arrested? Undercover cops and cop cars surrounded me. They had fucking machine guns drawn on me! An
d you know what it does to a person to go to prison?” He grabs my shoulders, unconsciously.
The touch stops us both. His eyes are dark. Intense. The light shining on the side of his face reveals the muscles working under his skin. My breath comes in little catches.
“Ahrrr!” He pushes back away from me and swims to the other side, where he pulls himself out of the pool and stalks off.
I blew it! I can’t believe I blew it. I should have just told him and made him listen.
My breathing is so loud I think it could wake everyone in the house.
Chapter Nine
Rafe
I fly out of bed and onto my feet, yelling, fists up, looking around in the dark. I can’t see a fucking thing. I swing blindly. They’re coming at me from all sides, and I can’t see them!
Voices surround me—quiet, menacing voices.
I turn the other way and swing, hitting air. Where are they?
A blinking light catches my eye. My cell phone. I’m in my room. I’m dreaming. I hear my heavy breathing and feel the sweat beaded all over my body. I bend over to rest my hands on the bed.
I was in a cell again. Caged like an animal. Trapped. Just waiting for trouble that would always come.
“Shit! Fuck!” I stumble into the bathroom and straight into the shower, yanking the water on. The cold spray hits me like ice and then slowly warms up.
The nightmares wouldn’t leave me alone after getting out of prison, but I went to therapy and a group for guys. I had to so I could function. I’ve worked through this shit. I’m out now. Safe. Away from all of that and living the life I’ve always dreamed of. I did it. I paid my time and moved on with my life.
Why would those old nightmares come back now, when I’d finally gotten over them? It’s been what... a year since I had one.
It’s her.
She did this too. Lily brought back all the memories and fear from that time. She ripped it all open again. I scream and slam my hand against the shower wall.
***
An hour later, I drive into town and to the gym. I’m still healing, but I can’t stop myself from working out and training. I need to burn off this energy and clear my head. Of course, it’s a modified workout, still focusing on getting my full range of motion back. A lot of stretching. Taking things slow to see what my body is ready to do. Normally, I can focus on my workout and forget about other things, but I’m meeting with Liam afterward.
This fucking show.
Lily.
And now the nightmares are coming back.
I went to therapy and worked through all that. Or so I thought. It was fixed and the only thing that’s changed is that Lily came back into my life. The show alone wouldn’t do it. That doesn’t make sense. It has to be her, which is just one more reason why she shouldn’t be on the show. One more reason to kick her off.
When I arrive at the studio, I find Liam in his office, Mike and another staff member are there as well. It’s one of the younger staff girls, an assistant or something. There’re so many people involved that I’ve had a hard time keeping up with everyone’s names and titles. Hell, I still need to learn the names of the girls in the competition.
“I thought we could talk alone,” I say roughly, folding my arms. Then it hits me that might be the reason he has other people there.
“If we need to, but let’s all sit down together first. Okay?” He waves to a chair and I sit, only because he asked for a change instead of expecting his way straight out of the gate.
“Okay, fine. What did you want to discuss?”
“Let’s talk about how things are going,” Liam starts. “I’m not sure Lily is pulling her weight.”
I laugh.
“And I need to worry about that? That girl has a mind of her own.” I remember her getting in my face, telling me no way would she lose a competition.
“No, I talked to her, but you might need to give her a little encouragement.”
I make a face, but Mike jumps in. “All of the girls might need a little more from you. They gave up a lot of time to be here to win you over. Flirt a little. I know you’ve got the moves. I’ve seen it.”
“But back to Lily,” Liam says. He’s wearing a dark-blue, silk shirt under a gray sports jacket. Do the ladies actually like this guy? All sleek...and controlling.
“Always Lily.” I sigh.
“She’s the biggest conflict we’ve got going. But you’ve pushed her away and made it clear you hate her. We need to see some movement.”
“Movement?” I ask. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Discussion, some chemistry, arguing, something.”
“You want drama? Great. I’ll kick her off the show.” I grin and dare him to argue with me.
“It might be good for you to talk to her more. Get some closure.” Liam raises his eyebrows. He could be sincere, but I suspect he really hopes I’ll talk to Lily and get attracted to her again, but that’s not the problem. It’s forgiving her.
I run my hands over my head and let out a long, slow breath before saying, “If I talk to her and there’s nothing there, you’ll agree to let me kick her off? Enough of this messing with the show and my shit. I need you to let me make my own choices.”
Liam considers it for a long minute. “Okay, deal. You give it a try, and then you can make a decision.”
“So what about the other girls?” Mike throws in, changing direction. “This isn’t just about Lily. Who do you like? What’s going on inside your head?”
I throw my hands up. “I don’t know. How can I think on that with Lily around?” I catch a look between Liam and Mike and point a finger at him. “No, don’t even go there.” I’m not talking about Lily with these fucktards.
Mike pulls out a folder. “Seems like you and Mel are connecting.”
“Yeah, we’ve talked some.”
“She’d be a good match.” He hands me a paper. I scan the facts about her: family money and some TV appearances. She even has an agent.
“Yeah, so she’s got money. She knows a little fame. Doesn’t mean we’re the same or even similar.”
“You could give her a chance. Have a real conversation with her.”
He goes through several sheets for different contestants this way, asking me what I think about Arianna and Samantha too.
“You were excited about this when we first talked,” Mike points out. Was I? “Come on, you’ve got all these girls wanting to fall in love with you. Or just have you for the night.”
That might have sounded good at some point, before I saw Lily. Now it’s serious. I’ve come to realize how much these girls are putting into this, and here I am having to kick them off the show.
“Listen Mike, Liam... I agreed to this show based on a certain truth. You explained where you were finding the girls and how you were setting up the cast. You lied to me.”
“No, that’s not true,” Liam says with a laugh, like it’s nothing, like I’m overreacting.
“It is true. You found Lily and put her on this show to create more conflict and tension—”
“Which we need,” Mike throws in.
“How the hell did you find her in the first place?” I demand, leaning forward, close to the desk and pinning him down with a stare.
He leans back with a sigh, glancing at Mike before saying, “We did a little digging.”
“What?” I have trouble staying in my seat as I picture them prying into my life. It also disproves my idea that Lily had somehow found this show.
“We had to figure out what kind of women to put on the show, so we tried looking into your old girlfriends. A couple of your friends mentioned Lily and how it all ended after you went to prison, that she left you.”
A long silence follows. I’m breathing hard, feeling my nostrils flare. Every fiber in my body tells me to jump up, toss his desk, and get the hell out of his office, but I have one other thing to cover.
“I signed a contract and made an agreement with you based on a lie.”
“Never mind that. You signed a contract.” Liam shifts his gaze to Mike. They’re nervous. It’s quiet for another minute. I know I could get my lawyers on this and probably get out of the show. Hell, I could actually pay their stupid cancellation fee if I really had to. It’d hurt, but I bet I could manage it.
I grind my jaw for a minute and then tell the other two, “I need to talk to Liam alone.”
After a tense minute, Liam nods, and Mike and his assistant leave. I wait for the door to shut before saying anything else.
“Seeing her again isn’t healthy for me,” I explain, and Liam’s expression grows curious. He seems to be actually listening to me. I want to add more for the simple reason that it might change his mind, but I can’t. I won’t tell this bastard what’s bothering me, that she brings up all these bad memories from my previous life. From prison. I can’t deal with that with my big fight coming up. I’m not explaining that to this dickhead.
Liam leans back in his chair and stares over my head in thought.
“We have people you can talk to,” he finally says.
“Fuck!” I jump up and pace. “I’ve been through all that. I have people to talk to already. It’s not that. It’s her.”
I wanted a chance to explain things to you...
I was too hotheaded to wonder what she really meant last night. Is there more to it than I’ve been thinking?
“Listen, I gotta go.”
“Mike needs to talk to you about the contest tonight!”
I walk out without looking back.
Chapter Ten
Lily
I sigh at the mirror as I apply the last of my makeup. It’s been a long day here in the house with the other women. And not just any women. They’re all out for blood. Or at least it feels that way. Then the camera crews film it all.
Mel did get a little comment in off camera. We were in the hallway without anyone else around, and as we passed each other she hissed, “You’re going home soon!”