“You spying on me?” he joked with his geeky laugh.
A sexy and tall stature stood in the doorway. Bare chest and briefs fitted with a generous bulge in between his thighs. I removed the covers showing off my body in the nighty.
“Lay down babe.” I requested, patting the empty space beside me.
I wasn’t 100% ready to have him close to me, but the jealousy said it was time to turn up the heat. Had to show him why I mattered too.
Darren looked at me as if I said he won a million dollars as he climbed into bed. I snuggled into his arms and the smell of his deodorant was enticing. Minutes went by without either one of us uttering a word.
“I think I’m starting to get jealous.” I sighed.
“Huh?” He arose, adjusting his hands around me. “Jealous of what?”
“Your wife,” I replied. “You have feelings for me and...”
“Jenn, I wouldn’t be here with you if I didn’t want to. It’s a confusing situation but, just know what I feel for you is totally separate from what I feel for her. I’m risking a lot bringing you here.”
I pouted while he stared into me. Those dark eyes went straight to my soul, searching for the reason why I laid next to him, thinking of his wife. Yet, he didn’t understand my position. It was hard to slip into the role of the other woman and not have apprehensions about the future.
“When was the last time you slept with Cheryl?” I asked in a low and hesitant voice.
Darren dropped his head, then quickly lifted it to reveal his truth. “About a week ago.”
I appreciated the honesty, however, rage came over me.
“You’re spending time with me, kissing me, then going home and making love to her?” I sat up in bed. “How do you expect me to feel about that Darren?”
“I knew this would happen.” He muffled, sitting up and removing his arms from me. “Can we just enjoy the trip? I know I started all of this, but I can’t have a good time talking about my wife. You said I’m not supposed to bring her up, and I’ve honored that. Now, that’s all you do.”
“Because I don’t know how this will end!” I cried out.
Tears streamed, while Darren’s palms slapped forehead. He listened to my whimpering for a while, then lifted his head.
“Do you even know what you want, Jenn?” His voice quivered. “Do you want me to leave my wife for you?”
I couldn’t answer the questions. Although I was being selfish with him, I wasn’t sure if I could handle the guilt of breaking up his family. His face grew angrier with me the longer I sat with no response.
“Just what I thought,” he said, getting out of bed. “Goodnight, Jenn.”
As Darren left the room, I sat in bed softly crying. I didn’t know what I wanted FROM him, I just wanted him. I was so caught up in “fantasyland” that when reality hit, the details of our budding romance weren’t sorted out. On the other hand, how could it be? We were falling deep and fast into a love affair with blurred lines.
The next morning, I woke up to flowers in my bed. I didn’t know when Darren had the opportunity to sneak them into my room while I slept, but I felt special waking up to the smell of orchids. A sweet surprise after a night of sobbing. Next to the arrangement was a hand-written note on a small card:
Jenn,
I’m so sorry about last night. I know things are complicated between us. Again...the feelings I have for you are real, and I don’t want you to think I’m using you. You’re an amazing woman Jennifer Steele. Remember that. We have to be patient with each other as we figure this out.
Love,
Darren
I jumped out of bed to brush my teeth. Staring at my puffy eyes and tear stains made me feel completely hideous. I washed my face to splash newness of the morning, rinsing away the awkwardness of our first major fight.
I joined Darren in the common area where he sat at the dining table eating breakfast and watching TV. His shirt was off, with a pair of pajama bottoms. The thought of walking up behind to massage his back ran across my mind. Instead, I decided to sit and eat. Although the gift and the note was his white flag, I wasn’t too sure if he wanted me close at that moment.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” he greeted, flashing dimples.
“Thanks for the flowers,” I replied easing into the chair across from his. “And the note.”
He nodded and grinned while chewing, then shrugged. “It’s the least I could do. Eat up. I have a busy day planned for us.”
“Which includes?” I asked, uncovering the plate of food in front of me.
“The beach and some random adventurous stuff,” he winked.
“Oh my God. You’re not going to have us jet skiing, are you? I’m scared of those things.”
“Guess I’ll have to call and cancel,” Darren teased.
I looked up at his dimpled face beaming at me and laughed. “Shut up.”
“Seriously, we’re getting wet today.” He added, leaving the table to get a cup of coffee.
The breakfast spread was predictably upscale. At that point, I didn’t expect anything less from Darren C. McCray. The effort and money spent on the weekend, made me regret pressing him the night before. All he wanted to do was make me happy, showing me a good time. The least I could do was put my reservations aside and relish in the weekend.
My intuition never told me to leave him alone. Only morals and a sense of decency due to the marriage status. I knew he was into me. The words he spoke came off as sincere. The only drawback I had was his family. Not my intuition telling me to run for the hills because he lied. Darren was genuine and just as confused as me. Which made sense because things moved very fast.
Coming to that realization contrived the notion to ease up on the constant questioning. Especially when I couldn’t be truthful with him. All I had was silence serving as answers to his questions. He indeed needed to figure things out and I needed to as well. I wasn’t being honest with myself. I wanted to be with him. Deep in my gut, I desired him to consider leaving his wife for me. Even if there would be a substantial amount of pain as a result.
A few hours later, we met with a professional diver to go snorkeling. Another first for me. Darren was very experienced and I was elated he showed me a piece of his adventurous side. I swam in serene water next to tropical fish and sea turtles. We connected hands as he helped me navigate through the ocean. In between diving, we shared intimate kisses which made the diving instructor a little awkward. We didn’t care, it was OUR time. Due to the limited chances we had to be alone back in Atlanta, Darren and I had to maximize our vacation. It was a fanciful sight between two premature lovers who had no business being together. Snorkeling was the perfect remedy for getting the trip back on track.
The next event was lunch on the beach. Mr. McCray arranged a tropical setup with more flowers waiting for me at the table. A spacious dining setup for two sat in between beautiful rock formations and the ocean. We dined within a secluded motif with a makeshift staff area only a few feet away. The satin light brown table cloth complimented my floral arrangement along with ornamental plates and pewter decorative wine glasses.
“I see you’re spoiling me today,” I said, taking in the view of the empty ocean.
“That’s my job,” he replied confidently.
While getting captivated by the water swaying with the wind, Darren snuck a small gift in front of me. The sound of him tapping the box got my attention. I looked down in awe.
What the hell is this?!? I thought, gasping.
“Open it, Jenn.” He urged, as I continued to stare in shock.
I pointed to the box, afraid of what was inside. “What is it, Darren?”
“You have to open it.” He urged again with a wicked grin.
I took a deep sigh, then proceeded to uncover the dark blue box holding yet another surprise from Mr. Teddy Bear Eyes. Under the gift disclosed a beautiful necklace with a diamond pendant. My first diamond ever. I choked on my words gaping at its beauty, and his thoughtfulness.<
br />
“Wha-what’s this for?” I grinned holding it up to my face, taking a closer look.
“Just for being you,” he hissed sensually. “And to show that you’re important to me.”
I looked up to find the corners of his mouth turned up in a big simper. The smile didn’t stay long. Before continuing, a sexy and serious expression painted his face.
“Let me take care of you, Jenn. It’s the least I can do since I’ve put you in this situation. Allow me to continue to show that you’re special to me.”
My smile faded as well. “Take care of me how?”
“I want your heart. Be patient with me, and I’ll give you everything. I promise.” Darren pleaded.
His promise meant the world to me. It felt real. However, the thoughts I’d sworn off earlier that morning resurfaced.
How can he make this promise to me with a whole family at home? I asked myself.
I noticed that I mouthed the words because Darren took heed grabbing my hand to hold it tightly. His touch was sincerity at its best. It shook those apprehensive rants going on in my mind.
“As long as you show me that this is real, Darren, I’ll give you all the patience in the world.” I teared up meeting his dark, dreamy eyes. “Just don’t hurt me.”
He got out of his seat and kneeled next to me. “I won’t hurt you, Jenn. I’m working things out on my end. Everything is going to be fine between us.”
I nodded, then kissed his soft lips. I had to trust Darren. What else was I going to do? Leave? Hell no! That promise was all I had to hold on to. I was in too deep and I was entitled to the feelings and tangible joys he delivered. Before coming to Puerto Rico, we were just “special” friends. I had no idea how much we felt for each other until given the opportunity to be alone.
“When did you decide you wanted this with me?” I asked, cupping the necklace in my hand.
He arose and walked back to his chair. “Jenn, something clicked when I first saw you. It was as if I instantly knew I had to have you. That night, I dreamt of you. I didn’t even know what your voice sounded like. But even in silence, you spoke to me. It’s hard to explain, but I just knew. I thought the feeling would go away. There you were, every day, taking bullshit from Michael, dealing with work, and looking as if you had to take on the world. I felt like you deserved love and I wanted to be the one to give it to you.”
“Wow,” I whispered, taken aback. “So you wanted to save me?”
“NO!” Darren answered abruptly. “You’re very independent. But you don’t have to be. Not with me. Jenn, you see the world differently. I’ve always wanted that in a woman. I just... met and married Cheryl first.”
I’d never met a man who wanted me at first sight. Well, I did. In turn, all they wanted was sex. Darren saw me and wanted ME!
The last event for the day was me watching him parasail. I refused to do anything up in the air that involved water beneath my feet. My task was to capture his memory via video and pictures for his keepsake. Darren was a brand-new man that day. In a good way. I was so used to seeing him uptight and wound up about work. It was refreshing to see him living care-free.
We headed back to the hotel to get dressed for dinner. I couldn’t wait to see what he had planned for us.
“Make sure you wear comfortable shoes; we’re going dancing later.” Darren peeked his head into my bathroom as I fumbled through jewelry.
“You? Dance?” I laughed. “Oh, I gotta see this.”
“I got moves, baby,” he replied, doing an old man shuffle behind me.
“You’ll need a few lessons.” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry old man, I got you.”
“Old man?!” He tickled my waist.
“Stop.” I laughed hysterically, trying to wiggle away from his fingers digging into my sides. “I have to finish getting ready.”
“Make sure you wear that necklace.” Darren requested, then kissed my neck. “I think it’ll look sexy with that dress.”
“You know I will.”
Darren reserved a private booth in the back of a romantic dimly lit restaurant that served every exotic fresh meat from the ocean. I was beyond impressed, tasting the finest seafood San Juan had to offer. I made sure I wore a slinky dress that showed off the new diamond necklace. Looking good for him was essential for our last night in paradise.
“You look so beautiful tonight, baby,” he cooed, caressing my hand.
As he grabbed my hand, I looked down and saw it. The ring. The wedding ring that solidified our reality. I wanted to say something, needed to point it out, but we were having such a good time. And I was tired of talking about his marriage. There was nothing I could do. I chose to be with a married man, and chose to dive into the deep feelings. In choosing that path, the ring came along with it. Whether I liked it, or not.
Then, I recalled the awkward stares the diving instructor gave earlier. He’d noticed the ring on Darren’s finger and no ring on mine.
Damnit! I thought, inching back further into the booth.
I felt my face turning sour, knowing that I screwed up once again. I looked like a fool the entire time without realizing it. How could we have been so careless?
“You okay?” He gripped my hand tighter.
“Yea, I’m fine,” I replied, forcing a smile. “When are we dancing?”
“We can go now!” he replied, with his geeky laugh. “Let’s go!”
A change of location and a few tequila shots later, Darren and I were on the dance floor in a small club with live entertainment. He proved me right in showing he could dance. Our moves were concurrent and procreative. As my backside grinded into him, his pelvis was there to meet me guiding us in another direction. His hands moved with the beat rubbing my thighs, up to my stomach, copping a feel on my breasts, and then my neck in a soft choke.
I turned around to feel his chest close to mine. We became one in the club that night. Our connected bodies grooving and swaying led to a passionate kiss that lasted until the song ended. Darren almost exposed my ass to the crowd with his hands rubbing vigorously on the back of my dress. I didn’t mind. Those hands soothed my body, putting the previous worries of a ring to the back of my mind. That ring may have connected him to Cheryl, but our bond was much greater.
“You are one amazing woman, Ms. Steele.” He whispered as we waited for the band’s next selection.
A tongue kiss on his neck was my response to his declaration. I tasted his cologne which savored in my mouth as I breathed.
“Oooh. Stop that.” Darren pulled away gently.
“You sure you want me to stop?” I asked, batting my eyes slowly.
He did his geeky laugh, then pulled me to the bar. “We need a break and another round.”
I wasn’t in the mood for a drink. My mind was set on orally pleasing his neck on the dancefloor. The goal was to get him hot for me, physically. I knew I was leading up to breaking the rules, but those emotions flowed. And it wasn’t all liquor and lust. Being true to myself meant acting out on everything I wanted with Darren, while I had the chance.
The club closing didn’t stop the party for us. At the hotel, we danced in the living room and kept the drinks flowing. It was our last night in beautiful San Juan, I wanted to make it last as long as possible.
“Whew! I need another drink,” he wiped sweat from his forehead, “I’ll be right back.”
“Babe, will you bring me a glass of champagne?” I asked, walking away.
“Yep.” He shouted back, in a deep, semi-drunk voice. “Hey! You better not be going too far, Ms. Steele. Don’t get tired on me now.”
Swaying my new necklace back and forth with my fingers, I wandered into his bathroom where there was a big Jacuzzi tub. Feeling spontaneous, I started to run water. I had to have gotten lost in watching the faucet because the next thing I remember was smelling Darren’s scent approaching me. He turned me around and gently raised my chin to kiss him. Before the tub spilled over, he pulled away to turn it off.
I slippe
d out of my dress, allowing it to slink to the floor. Darren froze at the sight of my exposed breasts and lace thong panties. I kept my eyes on him as I slid them down to my feet. I dipped my toes in to test the temperature, then sunk my entire body into the steamy water. He stood before me without speaking a word. I heard his breathing grow heavy, watching his chest rise and fall with each dirty thought.
He bit his bottom lip, squinted those eyes that constantly put me in a blissful trance, then retrieved our full champagne glasses waiting on the bathroom counter.
“Wait...” I held up my finger. “New rule, you have to get in here with me, naked, before you can drink.”
“New rule huh? Whatever you want, Ms. Steele.” He shrugged.
It had to be the liquor or the raging feelings from the dance floor that changed his mind. When I suggested being alone on the yacht, he stopped me. Mr. Teddy Bear Eyes sung a different tune in that bathroom. He was all in with going further than we’d gone before.
He handed me the glass, then proceeded to undress. I wanted him to go slower so that I could mentally record each article of clothing coming off. Just as a trinket to inwardly replay anytime I wanted. In his birthday suit, Darren brought his sexy body along with the champagne to sit across from me in the tub.
“What shall we toast to, Mr. McCray?” I asked fixating my eyes on his penis burgeoning under the water.
“A toast to us, and how special you are to me,” he replied.
The sound of our clinking glasses solidified us moving into a bigger step in the “friendship”. I like to think I was promoted to girlfriend status. Ha! It sounds foolish to say it aloud.
Although I loved how he admired every facial expression I made. I maneuvered to sit on his lap so I could feel him. For a long time, I wondered what that bulge felt like against my skin. The temperature raised in that bathroom. He poured champagne on the side of my neck, then slowly sucked it off. Each tongue movement struck a nerve that streamed down between my legs. My moans amped him to do more. And with zero hesitation, Darren slid himself inside of me. I gasped, feeling him, rock-hard, easing into my tunnel. He let out a deep breath and massaged my shoulders.
The Perfect Sin Page 15