She couldn’t think why he had come all this way—unless…unless he cared something for her. But he’d never written, not so much as a line in all the months she’d been away. “Are you sure everything’s all right? Melanie didn’t say a word—”
“It was…a sort of surprise.”
Her eyes widened. She felt herself coloring as he continued to look at her in that intent way he had. Would he see her lonely existence, her yearning to come home…to make a home for him and his daughter…?
He cleared his throat again. “I’ve been going to church.”
She looked searchingly at him. “Just ‘going,’ Noah? Have you been meeting God at all?”
His dark gaze shifted away, and she could see it was not easy for him to talk about it. But as he began to tell her what had happened to the Bible she had left with him, her heart swelled with wonder and joy.
When he finally came to the end, again he fell silent and just looked at her.
“What is it, Noah?”
“Melanie wondered when you might be coming back to Wood’s Harbor.”
She wished she could hold on to the doorknob again, but she’d stepped away from it. “I—I…I’m not sure. My job has only just ended….”
He nodded, then looked down at the brim of his hat. “Would it help if you had a…an invitation?”
“An invitation?”
He raised his head to her again. “Yes.”
Was he giving her an opening? “Ye-es, perhaps it would.”
She watched him swallow and knew suddenly it was as hard for him as it was for her. “The reason I’ve come…”
When he paused, she encouraged him with a smile. “Yes, Noah?”
He cleared his throat and started again. “Rianna, the reason I’ve come—Rianna, will you marry me?” The last words were said in a rush, as if in desperation.
Rianna met his gaze one eternal instant before shutting her eyes. May I, Lord? Reassured, she opened them, only to find Noah’s tortured gaze still on her. She couldn’t resist teasing him then. She moved her hand up to his forehead. In her best nurse’s voice, she said, “Noah, are you all right? Do you have a fever?”
He looked taken aback an instant, before he narrowed his eyes at her. She couldn’t help the laughter bubbling out of her. He reached for her, and with a laugh, she spun out of his grasp. But a second later, he caught her and swung her up high in his arms.
“Noah! Put me down! Put me down this instant!” But even as she scolded, she wrapped her arms about his neck.
He only tightened his hold around her. “Not until you answer my question.”
Her laughter subsided, and the two stood still. “Noah, I would love to marry you.”
She waited in anticipation, not daring to breathe as he looked deeply into her eyes, his own the color of rich, black coffee. Then his head slowly came down to hers and his lips met hers. Her own parted, as she felt the soft warmth of his mouth touch hers.
Home. She was home at last.
“Oh, Rianna,” he whispered against her lips, his mouth skimming hers, “how I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too, and Melanie.” And then she could speak no more.
A long time later the two sat close together, Noah’s arm around her, in front of the coal stove. “So, Noah,” she began, her fingers playing with the hair about his ear, “why didn’t you ever write to me?”
He rubbed his clean-shaven jaw. “Too scared, I guess.”
She stroked his face lovingly. “Scared? You fought in a war. You risk your life at sea each day. You, Noah, scared!”
He stopped her hand an instant, covering it with his own. “When it comes to you, I’m terrified.” His smile disappeared. “Rianna, I just came from where you used to work.” His eyes searched hers. “The place was grander than I imagined. Are you sure you can be happy with the kind of place I can give you?”
“Oh, Noah, you silly,” she replied softly. “Don’t you know me any better by now? Don’t you know how happy it would make me to make a home for you and Melanie, wherever it is, however small or grand?”
“Well, Melanie will sure be pleased. She was real happy when your first letter arrived.” His look sobered. “Thank you for taking the time to write her. It meant a lot to her…and to me.”
She touched his cheek. “Her letters gave me as much pleasure, I’m sure.” Her lips firmed once more. “And, they were my only source for news of you.”
He flushed under her gaze. “I kept wanting to write you. But I was so afraid I’d only want to know when—and if—you were coming home and you’d tell me you weren’t coming home again—”
“Oh, Noah, didn’t you realize how much I cared?”
“I just couldn’t bring myself to believe you could.”
She shook her head at him, but before she could say anything more, he captured her lips in another long, deep kiss.
Afterward, he spoke up, “I’m fixing up the house.”
Noah would never tire of reading those expressive, cider-colored eyes of hers, now so alive in the lamplight. One minute they were mischievous, the next so tender as to break his heart. Her eyes lit up now with the excitement of a child. “Your grandparents’ place? That’s wonderful!”
“It’s coming along pretty well. You were right. It’s in better shape than I thought. Melanie’s been pretty excited with the thought of having a home of our own.” He swallowed. “And she’s told me more than once she hoped you’d come back soon…and take care of her.”
Rianna’s eyes softened. “Did she? Do you think she’ll mind having me for a…stepmother?”
“I think she’s been praying for you to be her mama.”
“Oh, Noah—”
He hugged her to himself. “You’ll make her a wonderful mother.” Seeming to know she needed reassuring, he continued, “I’ve never seen anyone so good with children. Melanie will be blessed with you as her mother. You never left her side when she was so sick. You know how to have fun with her, too.”
Rianna looked down, but he could tell by her heightened color that she was pleased with his words.
“The house is almost finished,” he added after a moment, “though it needs a woman’s touch with furnishings and such. We probably can’t move in till next summer. Can you wait that long?”
“Of course.” She became serious. “But I can’t wait that long to marry you.”
He read the look in her eye and tightened his hold. “Good. I feel exactly the same.”
“Would you mind very much if we stayed with my parents a while until our house is ready?” she asked him when he loosened his hold on her.
Our house. He liked the sound of that. “Whatever you want is fine with me as long as we’re married.”
She smiled. “How did you decide to start work on the house? The last time I spoke with you about it, you didn’t express any interest in it.”
He swallowed, feeling her intent gaze upon him, he who was so unused to talking about the things closest to his heart. “Well, you made me change my feelings about that. I began to hope that maybe, someday—” He colored as he began talking of his deepest emotions. Before he could go any further, he felt her soft hand stroking his cheek again, which made talking all the more difficult. He cleared his throat. “I began to hope, that is, to hope that maybe someday you might…might…”
“Love you?” she finished for him.
He glanced at her, nodding. “I was going to say, ‘return my affections.’”
Rianna nodded. “I just thought I’d help you get over those difficult words.”
He swallowed. “They’re not difficult. It’s just that I’m a little rusty with them.”
“You’ll have to start practicing then.”
She kept looking at him until he nodded. “You want me to start right now?”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
He took her face in his two rough palms. “I love you, Rianna, with all my heart.”
“I love you, too,
Noah.”
“Oh, Rianna,” he whispered raggedly as he bent his head to kiss her again, this time more leisurely than before. This time it was as if each was taking the time to explore the feel of the other. When they finally broke apart, he sighed heavily. “I hope you don’t expect a long, drawn-out engagement.”
She laughed her throaty laugh. “As soon as you can get the license, I’ll be waiting at the altar.”
He squeezed her shoulder as he rested his head against the chair back, overwhelmed by the joy he felt filling him.
After a while he was able to continue his story. “As I was saying, I didn’t dare hope you might return my feelings, and then when you left all of a sudden—”
She took his hand in hers and pressed it in encouragement. “Then I walked back to the house, feeling so angry.”
“Angry? At me for leaving?”
“Partly. But mostly at myself for being such a fool again where you were concerned.”
“Oh, no!”
“But then, later, much later, when I went back out to the old house, I began seeing it through your eyes—seeing it how a lady might. It made me realize that when you left, I hadn’t exactly given you any reason to stay—or to come back.”
“I’ll say!” she answered. “What was I supposed to think? You didn’t react at all that day I left. That hurt,” she said softly. “Anger, anything, would have been preferable to the indifference you displayed on the wharf.”
“If you could have seen inside me that day, you wouldn’t say I was indifferent. My heart was anything but. I just wanted to rip it out, if only to make it stop feeling.” He rubbed his face again, as if dispelling a bad dream.
She smoothed back a lock of his hair. “Oh, Noah, I’m so sorry.”
“Anyway, as I walked around the old place, I began to see it as you had, with possibilities. Then—” He laughed. “You’ll think I’m crazy, but as I was standing back from it a ways, looking at the sitting room one last time, I heard someone behind me say, ‘Arise and build, son.’ It was almost—” He gave another self-conscious laugh. “It was almost like a papa encouraging his son. I even turned around, but of course, no one was there.
“So, I began to fix it up. Melanie was all for it. She had more faith than I did that you’d come back. I often felt like the old Noah, building that big old ark and not a cloud in the sky. Here I was rebuilding a house, and no bride to fill it. My girl had up and left me.”
Rianna put her hands around his nape and lay her head against his chest. “I hadn’t left you. I would have come back, you know, if you hadn’t beaten me to it.”
He looked at her through half-closed lids. “So, when were you planning to come back?”
“Soon.” Again that impish expression as she smiled up at him. “I’m a woman of means, you know.”
“You don’t say,” he answered, playing along.
“As of a week ago.” She sobered. “Remember how I told you about dear old Mr. Whitestone wanting to marry me?”
“You didn’t finally break down and accept, did you?”
She giggled, shaking her head. “He was such a dear. He died in peace at last. At peace with his Maker against whom he’d railed so long.” After a few moments, she continued, her fingers playing with a button of his jacket. “The dear old man left me a little something in his will. Nothing so much that his family would object to, but a nice little nest egg for me.” She looked at Noah significantly. “Enough for me to give up nursing and come back home.”
“So you really wanted to come back?”
“Yes.” She laughed. “And if you hadn’t taken me back, I’d have conspired with Melanie to make life absolutely miserable for you until you came to your senses.”
He chuckled, stroking her hair, gaining confidence as he began truly to believe she returned his love.
“You will make a wonderful mother—and I don’t mean with just Melanie.”
He enjoyed watching the color suffuse her face from cheeks to forehead. “Are you going to give me children, Noah?”
His fingertips traced her cheek. “I’ll do my part. I think the Lord will do the rest.”
Her momentary shyness turned to joy as she smiled at him, that radiant smile that he’d missed so much.
A loud knocking at the door startled them both. “Mrs. Bruce! Are you in there?”
Rianna lifted her head with a look of exasperation. “Yes, Mrs. Thompson?”
“Mrs. Bruce, let me in. I must insist!”
With a sigh, Rianna arose and smoothed her skirts and hair. “Just a moment.” When she opened the door, the landlady came bursting in as if she’d been leaning on the door.
“Oh,” she said when at last she spotted Noah. He arose and inclined his head. “Are you still here?” Before he could answer, she turned to Rianna. “I must tell you I don’t approve of gentlemen callers after eight o’clock. It’s only because he said your family had sent him that I let him come up at all.”
“It’s all right, Mrs. Thompson,” she replied, looking to Noah with an unmistakable twinkle in her eye. “May I introduce you to Mr. Samuels, my fiancé?”
Mrs. Thompson’s mouth fell open then snapped shut. “Well, that’s different. Still, you understand—”
Before she could go any further, Noah spoke up, “Mrs. Thompson, could you tell me where I could get a room for the night?”
“How long will you be staying?”
Noah looked at Rianna. “How long do you need before you can leave for Wood’s Harbor?”
She didn’t hesitate. “I can leave tomorrow.”
Noah breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.” He turned to Mrs. Thompson. “I only need it for tonight.”
Mrs. Thompson offered him a room in her own building and he followed her out. As he turned to bid Rianna good-night, watched all the while by her landlady, he bent down to give her a quick peck on the cheek, knowing he’d have a lifetime of more satisfying good-nights.
“I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early,” whispered Rianna, her hand squeezing his.
“You’ll be making one little girl very, very happy,” he said. “As well as one lonely widower,” he added with a small smile.
She returned his smile. “I can’t wait.”
Noah followed Mrs. Thompson down a couple of landings to another room.
When he was finally alone in the darkened room, he lifted his hands heavenward, and said, “Thank You, Lord.”
Epilogue
“Mama, may I hold little Josh, please?”
Rianna smiled at Melanie before looking down at the precious bundle in her arms. Joshua Noah Samuels had been born two weeks ago, and it was hard for her to trust anyone with her baby. “All right, dear, if you’re very, very careful.”
“I’ll be right beside her.”
Reassured by Noah’s words, Rianna relinquished the sleeping infant to his father then watched as father and daughter, their two dark heads together, murmured over little Josh.
Finally, Noah stepped back a fraction, allowing Melanie to hold her new brother. Josh continued sleeping, only a soft sigh signaling the movement.
“I’m so glad I have a little brother. Maybe someday I’ll have a little sister, too.”
Noah and Rianna looked at each other and chuckled. “Maybe,” replied Rianna as Noah echoed, “I hope so, sweetie.”
Rianna rocked on the wooden rocker Noah had made for her over the winter when they knew they were expecting a new baby. She looked around at the comfortable parlor room with a warm fire burning in the woodstove. Everything was neat and tidy again, as in the days when Noah’s grandparents had lived in this house.
Outside, a cold northeastern wind blew across the long, dry grass and whipped up whitecaps on the gray ocean, but inside she was safe and warm with the man and the children she adored.
“What are you thinking?” Noah touched her softly on the shoulder.
She looked up at him with love in her eyes. “How blessed I am to have come home.”
Dear Reader,
I used to spend childhood summers on the coast of Maine. Down the road, overlooking a bay, stood a dark green, shingled farmhouse with a barn alongside.
An elderly couple lived there. He made a living clamming, lobster fishing, raking blueberries, logging—all seasonal occupations, and she had been a nurse when she was younger. When I knew her, she made the best clam chowder and rhubarb cobbler.
The house has stood empty for many years now, its windows shuttered. There are still some remnants of her flower garden each spring and summer, but mostly it’s wildflowers that blossom in the surrounding hills.
The house inspired Noah’s old homestead in my story. Maybe someday someone will restore and inhabit the real life farmhouse here on the downeast coast of Maine.
I love to hear from readers. Stop by my blog, http://ruthaxtellmorren.blogspot.com, or Web site, www.ruthaxtellmorren.com, and drop me a line with any comments you might have on A Family of Her Own. You can also mail me at: Cutler General Delivery, Cutler, ME 04626.
Blessings,
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
How is Noah’s heart like his grandparents’ old house?
What is Noah’s memory or perception of his old sweetheart, Rianna?
What is Rianna’s perception of him?
Like many veterans, Noah doesn’t like to talk about the war. How does Rianna’s nursing experience in the war help draw them closer?
How does Noah see that Rianna is not the same girl he met so many years before?
How is she similar to that girl?
Why does Rianna think she was not meant to have children of her own?
How has that rationalization helped her overcome her feelings of unworthiness caused by her widowhood and miscarriage?
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5269-5
TO BE A MOTHER
Copyright © 2010 by Harlequin Books S.A.
The publisher acknowledges the copyright holders of the individual works as follows:
MOUNTAIN ROSE
Copyright © 2010 by Cheryl Ludwigs
To Be a Mother Page 22