The Lunatic at Large

by J. Storer Clouston

  CHAPTER III.

  "Alicia," said the Countess, "it was really a most fortunate coincidenceour meeting the Baron at St Egbert's."

  She paused for a reply and looked expectantly at her daughter. It was notthe first time in the course of the morning that Lady Alicia had listenedto similar observations, and perhaps that was why she answered somewhatlistlessly, "Yes, wasn't it?"

  The Countess frowned, and continued with emphasis, "I consider him one ofthe most agreeable and best informed young men I have ever met."

  "Is he?" said Lady Alicia, absently.

  "I wonder, Alicia, you hadn't noticed it," her mother observed, severely;"you talked with him most of the afternoon. I should have thought that noobservant, well-bred girl would have failed to have been struck with hisair and conversation."

  "I--I thought him very pleasant, mamma."

  "I am glad you had so much sense. He is _extremely_ pleasant."

  As Lady Alicia made no reply, the Countess felt obliged to continue hislist of virtues herself.

  "He is of most excellent family, Alicia, one of the oldest in Bavaria. Idon't remember what I heard his income was in pfennigs, or whatever theymeasure money by in Germany, but I know that it is more than L20,000a-year in English money. A very large sum nowadays," she added, as ifL20,000 had grown since she was a girl.

  "Yes, mamma."

  "He is considered, besides, an unusually promising and intelligent youngnobleman, and in Germany, where noblemen are still constantly used, thatsays a great deal for him."

  "Does it, mamma?"

  "Certainly it does. Education there is so severe that young Englishmen arebeginning to know less than they ever did, and in most cases that isn'tsaying much. Compare the Baron with the young men you meet here!"

  She looked at her daughter triumphantly, and Alicia could only reply,"Yes, mamma?"

  "Compare them and see the difference. Look at the Baron's friend, MrBunker, who is a very agreeable and amusing man, I admit, but look at thedifference!"

  "What is it?" Alicia could not help asking.

  "_What_ is it, Alicia! It is--ah--it's--er--it is, in short, the effect of acarefully cultivated mind and good blood."

  "But don't you think Mr Bunker cultivated, mamma--and--and--well-bred?"

  "He has an amusing way of saying things,--but then you must remember thatthe Baron is doubtless equally entertaining in his native language,--andpossibly a superficial knowledge of a few of the leading questions of theday; but the Baron talked to me for half an hour on the relations ofsomething or other in Germany to--er--something else--a very important point,I assure you."

  "I always thought him very clever," said Lady Alicia with a touch ofwarmth, and then instantly changed colour at the horrible slip.

  "You always," said the Countess in alarmed astonishment; "you hardly spoketo him yesterday, and--had you met him before?"

  "I--I meant the Baron, mamma."

  "But I have just been saying that he was _unusually_ clever."

  "But I thought, I mean it seemed as though you considered him only wellinformed."

  Lady Alicia's blushes and confusion deepened. Her mother looked at herwith a softening eye. Suddenly she rose, kissed her affectionately, andsaid with the tenderness of triumph, "My _dear_ girl! Of course he is;clever, well informed, and a most _desirable_ young man. My Alicia couldnot do----"

  She stopped, as if she thought this was perhaps a little premature (thoughthe Countess's methods inclined to the summary and decisive), and againkissing her daughter affectionately, remarked gaily, "Let me see, why,it's almost time we went for our little walk! We mustn't really disappointthose young men. I am in the middle of such an amusing discussion with MrBunker, who is really a very sensible man and quite worthy of the Baron'sjudgment."

  Poor Lady Alicia hardly knew whether to feel more relieved at her escapeor dismayed at the construction put upon her explanation. She went out tomeet the Baron, determined to give no further colour to her mother'sunlucky misconception. The Countess was far too experienced and determineda general to leave it at all doubtful who should walk by whose side, andwho should have the opportunity of appreciating whose merits, but LadyAlicia was quite resolved that the Baron's blandishments should fall onstony ground.

  But a soft heart and an undecided mouth are treacherous companions. TheBaron was so amiable and so gallant, that at the end of half an hour shewas obliged to abate the strictness of her resolution. She should treathim with the friendliness of a brother. She learned that he had nosisters: her decision was confirmed.

  The enamoured and delighted Baron was in the seventh heaven of happyloquacity. He poured out particulars of his travels, his more recordableadventures, his opinions on various social and political matters, and atlast even of the family ghost, the hereditary carpet-beatership, and theglories of Bavaria. And Lady Alicia listened with what he could not doubtwas an interest touched with tenderness.

  "I wonder," she said, artlessly, "that you find anything to admire inEngland--compared with Bavaria, I mean."

  "Two zings I haf not zere," replied the Baron, waving his hand roundtowards the horizon. "Vun is ze vet sheet of flowing sea--says not yourpoet so? Ze ozzer" (laying his hand on his heart) "is ze Lady Alicia aFyre."

  There are some people who catch sentiment whenever it happens to be in theair, just as others almost equally unfortunate regularly take hay-fever.

  Lady Alicia's reply was much softer than she intended, especially as shecould have told anybody that the Baron's compliment was the merest figureof speech.

  "You needn't have included me: I'm sure _I'm_ not a great attraction."

  "Ze sea is less, so zat leaves none," the Baron smiled.

  "Didn't you see anybody--I mean, anything in London that attracted you--thatyou liked?"

  "Zat I liked, yes, zat pairhaps for the moment attracted me; but not zatshall still attract me ven I am gone avay."

  The Baron sighed this time, and she felt impelled to reply, with the mostsisterly kindness, "I--we should, of course, like to think that you didn'tforget us _altogether_."

  "You need not fear."

  Then Lady Alicia began to realise that this was more like a second cousinthan a brother, and with sudden sprightliness she cried, "I wonder wherethat steamer's going!"

  The Baron turned his eyes towards his first-named attraction, but for aprofessed lover of the ocean his interest appeared slight. He only repliedabsently, "Ach, zo?"

  A little way behind them walked Mr Bunker and the Countess. The attentionof Lady Grillyer was divided between the agreeable conversation of hercompanion and the pleasant spectacle of a fabulous number of pfennigsa-year bending its titled head over her daughter. In the middle of one ofMr Bunker's most amusing stories she could not forbear interrupting with acomplacent "they _do_ make a very handsome couple!"

  Mr Bunker politely stopped his narrative, and looked critically from hisfriend's gaily checked back to Lady Alicia's trim figure.

  "Pray go on with your story, Mr Bunker," said the Countess, hastily,realising that she had thought a little too loudly.

  "They are like," responded Mr Bunker, replying to her first remark--"theyare like a pair of gloves."

  The Countess raised her brows and looked at him sharply.

  "I mean, of course, the best quality."

  "I think," said the Countess, suspiciously, "that you spoke a littlecarelessly."

  "My simile was a little premature?"

  "I think so," said the Countess, decisively.

  "Let us call them then an odd pair," smiled Mr Bunker, unruffled; "andonly hope that they'll turn out to be the same size and different hands."

  The Countess actually condescended to smile back.

  "She is a _dear_ child," she murmured.

  "His income, I think, is sufficient," he answered.

  Humour was not conspicuous in the Grillyer family. The Countess repliedseriously, "I am one of those out-of-date people, Mr Bunker, who consi
dersome things come before money, but the Baron's birth and position arefortunately unimpeachable."

  "While his mental qualities," said Mr Bunker, "are, in my experience,almost unique."

  The Countess was confirmed in her opinion of Mr Bunker's discrimination.

  Late that night, after they had parted with their friends, the Baronsmoked in the most unwonted silence while Mr Bunker dozed on the sofa.Several times Rudolph threw restive glances at his friend, as if he hadsomething on his mind that he needed a helping hand to unburden himselfof. At last the silence grew so intolerable that he screwed up his courageand with desperate resolution exclaimed, "Bonker!"

  Mr Bunker opened his eyes and sat up.

  "Bonker, I am in loff!"

  Mr Bunker smiled and stretched himself out again.

  "I have also been in love," he replied.

  "You are not now?"

  "Alas! no."

  "Vy alas?"

  "Because follies _without_ illusions get so infernally dull, Baron."

  The Baron smiled a little foolishly.

  "I haf ze illusions, I fear." Then he broke out enthusiastically, "Ach,bot is she not lofly, Bonker? If she will bot lof me back I shall be zehappiest man out of heaven!"

  "You have wasted no time, Baron."

  The Baron shook his head in melancholy pleasure.

  "You are quite sure it is really love this time?" his friend pursued.

  "Qvite!" said the Baron, with the firmness of a martyr.

  "There are so many imitations."

  "Not so close zat zey can deceive!"

  "Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Mr Bunker. "These first symptoms are common to themall, and yet the varieties of the disease are almost beyond counting. Imyself have suffered from it in eight different forms. There was thevirulent, spotted-all-over variety, known as calf-love; there was the kindthat accompanied itself by a course of the Restoration dramatists; anotherform I may call the strayed-Platonic, and that may be subdivided into atleast two; then there was----"

  "Schtop! schtop!" cried the Baron. "Ha, ha, ha! Zat will do! Teufel! Imost examine my heart strictly. And yet, Bonker, I zink my loff is anozzerkind--ze _real!_"

  "They are all that, Baron; but have it your own way. Anything I can do tomake you worse shall be done."

  "Zanks, my best of friends," said the Baron, warmly, seizing his hand; "Iknew you would stand by me!"

  Mr Bunker gave a little laugh, and returning the pressure, replied, "Mydear fellow, I'd do anything to oblige a friend in such an interestingcondition."