A Different Shade of Blue, Shades of Blue, Book 2

by Hildie McQueen

  Grayson lowered to lie beside her and pulled her against him. The color of his eyes once again a different shade of blue, this time reminiscent to the ocean. "I want you, Nora. I want you to be sure."

  "I am sure."

  Nora gasped and took his face in her hands for a second to look in to his eyes before Grayson took her mouth with savage hunger. The urgency continued between them, an experience she would commit to memory as she knew it was the last time she'd be with a man. Grayson would be her only lover. She'd move on, but this was her gift to herself and although improper and against every rule, it was worth breaking them.

  His large body covered hers and the upward spiral began and Nora thrashed under Grayson, emotions swirling with the physical until she thought she'd burst into a thousand pieces. Falling over the crest, she heard the faint sounds of lovemaking, followed by her high-pitched cry and his deeper roar.

  They lay in each other's arms until their breathing settled. Grayson took her face in his large hands and kissed her with soft lips. "My Nora." His eyes finished the caress, moving ever so slowly across her features.

  Moments later Grayson jerked to sit, hand on his chest and breathing more like gasps. Nora reached for him and he moved away from her touch. "I can't...."

  "What's wrong?" She sat up and caught the pure fear in his contorted face. "Grayson?"

  He closed his eyes inhaling deeply. He turned to her and kissed her again, the kiss tasted of detachment. Too soon Grayson regained control and once again his façade, the one he wore to keep people at a distance, returned.

  He pulled her against his side. "We should be heading back, your brother will worry."

  "Yes, of course." Nora pushed away to get up, but he held her in place and pulled her face up so she could meet his gaze.

  "Thank you."

  What was she supposed to say? You're welcome seemed trite and why was he thanking her when she'd initiated what had transpired between them. There were no words, only the knowledge that he'd never be hers and this was the last time they'd be together. She managed a smile and once again moved away, this time he allowed it.

  They dressed mostly in silence. Grayson finished first and moved a distance away to look over the water, his face tight, emotionless.

  Nora went to stand beside him. "I can see why you love this land. I hope one day you do build a house here and raise a family."

  His face swung to hers, and he traced a finger down her nose. "You're beautiful, Nora, I don't think I've told you how often those whiskey colored eyes of yours appear in my thoughts. I'm not sure what I'll do about this land." Abruptly he changed topic, his attention now away from her, he focused across the treetops. "My brothers are leaving on a cattle drive; I'll be helping Ma at the ranch. Won't be around town for a few months."

  "Of course," Nora said and sighed, studying the horizon before her. "I'm sure you will build on this land, Grayson," she told him, her heart breaking at the thought. Senseless jealousy filling her so it hurt physically, a slash of pain crisscrossed her chest. "One day you'll meet a person who will make it so hard to live without her, you'll no longer avoid moving on."

  He cocked a brow, a soft curve to his lips. "Always thinking aren't you, Nora?" Once again he looked across the water. "Moving on. I don't know about that, but one day I will do something with this land. Maybe the thought of settling down will not be such a bad thing."

  Grayson escorted her to the mercantile entrance. He rode around to the back to load the items he'd come to get for the Cole ranch and before long he left. Nora floated through the few remaining hours barely able to keep from running away to a place where she could scream and cry until the pain that choked her airway ebbed. Her brother constantly slid glances at her, but didn't say anything. Mitch, who'd usually not allow her to mope about without asking questions, seemed subdued and deep in his own thoughts. Thank goodness.

  Finally they closed up shop and returned home where she immediately sought her bedroom, claiming a headache to avoid dinner. She felt horrible at not taking time for her mother who still mourned, but this day Nora did not have any strength left for anyone else. Tears spilled down her cheeks as soon as she crossed the threshold and she stumbled to the bed falling into it. Sobs raked her entire body. Fearing her mother would overhear, she buried her face into the pillow to silent them.

  Grayson was gone, when she'd see him again, he'd either be stopping by the store for provisions or seeking another female's companionship in town. But never pursuing her, never again would he come for her. The excuses he'd used were not foreign to her. Although she'd never been in a relationship, she'd heard the stories of woe from other women. Besides that, her instincts told her she'd be better off if she let him go.

  If only her heart could.

  One thing she was thankful for was that he was honest to a fault and had ensured she understood where they stood. The words he spoke perhaps not knowing how deep they'd sunk a knife in her heart also firmly built a thick wall between them. One so high and thick it was impossible to tear down.

  It was dark outside when she was able to stop crying. Nora got up from the bed and went to the window to look to the stars glistening in the sky. Every day that passed would help her move forward, the pain would fade.

  But her love for Grayson Cole would remain, unfortunately for her. For years now he'd become entrenched forever in her foolish heart.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Ashley didn't want to risk running into Sheriff Dawson by walking in front of the jailhouse. The man did not like him and he would take any opportunity to throw him back in jail.

  He waited for a horse-drawn wagon loaded high with sacks of grain to pass and then crossed the dusty street.

  It wasn't his idea to be in town today, but Bronson was deep in the ledgers, ensuring all was set for their departure and Grayson left early with their father to round up the cattle, so his mother insisted he go to town and collect any mail that may have arrived at the train station.

  He shook his head knowing she'd ordered some fabrics and catalogs and was anxious to get her hands on them.

  There was a lot to do before leaving and he intended on making this trip a quick one. But it seemed fate had other plans for him this day. Halfway to town his horse threw a shoe, so he rode at a slow pace making the two-hour trip almost four. He'd taken the horse to the blacksmith who informed him it would be a couple hours since he was finishing work for someone else. Until he horse was shoed, he decided to walk around and look for something to occupy time. After stopping at the mercantile to order provisions, he went outside to wait in the shade from the awning over the seamstress's doorway.

  Ashley leaned against the wall and scanned down the street. A group of people exited the hotel, he recognized the lady, a friend of her mothers. Next to her, an older man, her husband, stood and held her elbow. The man with them made the air leave his lungs. Captain Ford, his commander from the cavalry.

  Ashley pulled his hat down but kept an eye on the group. What the hell was Ford doing in Alder Gulch?

  As if sensing he was watched, Ford looked up, his shrewd eyes scanning until resting on a pair of ladies who'd stopped and watched the newcomer with ill-disguised interest. Of course the man caught women's eyes, he was tall, commanding and golden. The blond male nodded to the women in acknowledgement and then looked directly at Ashley.

  Ashley maintained his relaxed stance not giving the impression that he noticed Ford's attention. Ford continued his perusal along the street side.

  The bell over the seamstress's door rung and Ashley shuffled to avoid whoever exited. Damn even if his horse was ready, he had to wait for the group, who continued in a leisurely conversation, to leave.

  "If you're not going to move out of my way, I'm going to kick you." The familiar voice got his attention. Grace's dark narrowed gaze pinned him.

  For a moment he was speechless at her appearance. Dressed in a brilliant green gown with a low cut bodice, her midnight black hair up in a complicate
d hairstyle, some curls escaping down to her shoulders, she was stunning.

  Why had he not noticed her beauty before? Frozen on the spot, his gaze swept from her skirts past her small waist to the swell of her breasts to her face. Grace cocked an impatient eyebrow at him. Ashley cleared his throat and grabbed the pile of parcels from her gloved hands. "I apologize, didn't realize I was blocking the doorway."

  "Give me those." She made to take them, but he turned away.

  "Allow me to escort you to your buggy." What the hell was he doing? Unable to stop himself, he attempted a rare smile at the stunned woman. "I owe you an apology and it's the least I could do."

  Her brows drew together and for a second he thought she'd rebuff him, but instead she surprised him by slipping her hand through his arm with an indignant huff. "I don't know what's worse, allowing the man who escaped jail after manhandling me, as an escort, or standing here arguing while people watch us."

  His blood ran cold; he looked over and straight into Ford's direct gaze. The captain's barely visible nod was the acknowledgment he got in return. He'd been recognized.

  Ashley felt a tug and realized he'd stepped on Grace's skirts.

  "Confounded dress, this is why I don't normally wear all this." She motioned to her dress with her free hand. "I don't know how women manage to walk around all day in this damn garb." She continued her unladylike mumbling while walking alongside him. Her presence and prickly personality calmed his rapid heartbeat and he was thankful for it.

  "Why are you wearing it then?" he found himself asking.

  Grace looked up and her lips curved. Ashley could not help but notice the full lips, definitely meant for kissing. A slight frown formed and she sighed. "There's going to be some reception in the hotel in a couple hours. Uncle says it's for a distinguished cavalry captain who is considering moving here. My uncle wants to retire next year and devote his time to our ranch, so he's contriving a plot to get the captain to run for sheriff."

  "I see," were the only words he could utter, once again the blood in his veins chilling.

  They stopped next to her buggy and she extricated her hand from his arm, the absence of her warm touch left him colder. After taking the parcels, she placed them on the floorboard.

  "Thank you, Ashley Cole." Grace started to turn and he stopped her with a hand on her forearm.

  "Wait." What could he say to warn her? For some strange reason he needed to keep this woman safe. "Look, I know you don't know me well or have any reason to trust me, but can you promise me something?" He glanced across the street to see the captain and his group had finally left.

  Her eyebrows lifted and she nodded. "What?"

  "Don't allow that man near you, stay away from Captain Ford."

  "You know him?"

  Again, scanning the street, Ashley noted the captain was gone. "I -- yes, I do."

  Her gaze slid away, she nibbled at her bottom lip, and then released the moistened morsel. It took Ashley's entire resolve to tear his eyes away. "I'm not sure that warning is necessary, not only can I take care of myself, but I have no intention of letting any man near me."

  Ashley lifted an eyebrow at her and she huffed. "You forced yourself on me today."

  "It was easy to escape when you were my captor, so I'm not so sure you are as tough as you think."

  She pressed her lips together into a thin line and her brows lowered.

  A moment later, her face changed, softened. Grace's eyes lifted to meet his, her lips pursed into a bow. She leaned forward and Ashley could not help but follow her lead.

  Pain exploded on both his foreleg and face when she managed to kick his shin and slap him at the same time. "You are not a nice person, Ashley Cole."

  With a swish of skirts she rounded her buggy. He watched in fascination as she wrestled with her dress to climb into the seat. By the time she settled, her hair was askew and there was a visible tear in the hem. Head high and chin jutted, she snapped the reins, setting the startled horses into a quick trot.

  Ashley rubbed at his face. It had been a long time since someone caught him by surprise. The mood vanished when he stared across the street toward the smithy's shop. If Captain Ford became sheriff, his life would change drastically and not for the good.

  Some things best from the past were best left buried. With Ford's arrival, a multitude of cruel things returned to haunt him.

  That night at the bunkhouse, Ashley sat on his bunk and stared at the wall, his mind awhirl. What would he do now? He would not leave his family.

  He'd not gone to dinner at the house that night, it would have been too hard to get away with his current dark mood. His mother would know something bothered him.

  Tomorrow there would be no excuse, but tonight, he had to come up with a way to find out what Ford planned.

  The soft rapt at the door made him groan. "Yeah!"

  "Hank Ashley Cole, what are you doing sitting in the dark?" His mother swept into the room, her soft floral fragrance managing to reach him despite the otherwise stale smell of the space. Her fiery eyes trained on him, he couldn't help but notice the beauty she still remained. "I asked you a question."

  "I'm not fit to be around people, Ma," Ashley said rising to get a chair for his mother. When he placed it in front of his bunk, she ignored it and continued to stand.

  "I'm so tired of it, Ash, of this dark cloud that surrounds you." She shook her head. "Tell me, son, what happened to you? What made you change so much? What are you battling?" Her worried gaze fell over him and Ashley attempted to find a reasonable reply. When an answer didn't come, he sat on the edge of the bed and slumped forward, elbows on his knees.

  "Ashley?" His mother cupped his chin and lifted his face. "Talk to me. This has gone on long enough, son. We can't help you if we don't know what troubles you so?"

  When he met her gaze the unshed tears made his gut clench. "Ma, don't." He turned from her. "I have been through things, done things I could never tell you. Terrible things. I can't share them with you or anyone."

  "Don't you dare tell me how to feel," his mother yelled. "Look at me." Ashley turned to his mother's reddened face.

  She let out a breath. "There is nothing in this world that I love more than you and your brothers. If I could take this pain from you and carry it I would. It breaks my heart to see you so tormented. But I have faith in that you are a strong man, Ashley. You can do something about it. Do you understand me?"

  Tears threatening Ashley could only nod in response. He attempted to tell her he loved her, but his throat constricted.

  "Now," his mother said peering down at him. "You will talk to me or your father. Even one of your brothers if that's easier. Just a little bit each day. Share something, anything. You have to let go of whatever it is, no matter how terrible, we will love you through the healing. You understand?"

  He nodded and she leaned and kissed his check. "Good night, son. Sleep well."

  When the door sounded behind his mother, Ashley lounged back onto the bunk and let his eyes close. Tears managed past his eyelid and trailed down the side of his face.

  If only he could share everything. Even the parts he refused to think about. It was hard enough to accept the horrible things that happened to him while he'd been under the command of Captain Erwin Ford. To put it into words was impossible.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Spring was in full bloom; the trees flowered adding a burst of color to the otherwise green landscape of Alder Gulch. Nora closed the front door of her mother's house and stepped into the bright afternoon sun. Thank goodness for a day of rest otherwise she'd go mad from being indoors on this beautiful day. Her mother had insisted she stay home, strange that her usually self-absorbed mother noted Nora's subdued moods as of late. Perhaps she thought her overly tired from working at the mercantile or even from missing the children at the schoolhouse. Whatever the reason, Carolyn Banks insisted Nora take time to spend the day away from the store and the hustle and bustle of town. Even suggesting she go for a
ride, which her mother usually saw as unladylike.

  An eye towards the mercantile, she considered going to work. No matter how enticing a day outdoors would be, eventually her thoughts would roam to the usual and saddening memories of her last time with Grayson.

  Olivia promised to stop by as soon as her chores at the clinic were over and they'd go for a ride in her buggy. The light breeze caressed her face and she closed her eyes and inhaled. Perhaps a few moments sitting in of her father's rocker would suffice for the moment. Nora lowered into the worn comfortable chair, a smile tugged at her lips remembering how often she'd found him sitting here smoking his pipe, holding a bag of candy for any children that happened by. Of course the local kids did make it a point to stop by.

  "Good morning, Nora." The familiar deep voice brought her heart to a gallop until she looked up and saw Bronson. Humor-filled blue eyes met hers, and for a second she wondered if he knew she'd expected to see his brother. "You seem to be enjoying the day."

  Nora motioned for him to sit opposite her in the other rocker and he did, his large body filling the chair. A comfortable ease that normally came from being around Bronson filled her. Genuinely liking him, she was glad he stopped by, as she'd not seen him since the fair at his ranch. "I'm glad to see you returned from the cattle drive. Did it go well?"

  When he smiled, two deep dimples formed in his cheeks, a distinguishing factor between the twins, she thought his eyes different too. Bronson's seemed lighter than Grayson's, almost grey in appearance. "I'm glad to be back. It wasn't too bad, but we did get a couple of rainstorms that had us living like pigs in mud for a few days."

  "Oh, I bet that got uncomfortable," Nora replied and chuckled. "How are your parents and brothers?"

  He lifted and eyebrow at her. "My parents are both well. Ma said Pa ain't allowed to go on any more drives. Seems she really missed him." He paused and looked away from her. "Grayson is doing well. He's here. Over at the mercantile."