Sense of Place

by N. R. Walker

  After a short conversation, he disconnected the call, and smiled. It was obvious the offer for a visit was one of acceptance. “There’s some show Mom wants to see,” he said, still smiling. “Thought it would be a great excuse to come for a visit.”

  “That’s great, Cooper,” I said, taking his hand again, giving it a squeeze. “You know my apartment’s yours now too, you live there. You don’t have to ask permission for anyone to stay. Your entire family is welcome.”

  “Good,” he said with a grin. “Because my entire family is coming.”

  Chapter Six

  Work that week was hectic, as per usual. Cooper’s was even busier than mine. He was hoping to wrap up the job with Xavier soon and was putting in the hours to get it done.

  I couldn’t say I blamed him. Xavier Baurhenn was a jerk, and Cooper was fed up with him.

  Cooper was really looking forward to his family visiting, and truth be told, as much as it made me nervous, it was a positive step forward. Cooper needed them in his life. He wanted their approval, whether he admitted it or not, and I wanted him to be happy. So we were planning a dinner at home on the Saturday night, hoping they’d see Cooper was still the same.

  The weekend before his parents were due to visit, he’d taken a break from work and decided he was going to cook for the dinner party. He had the menu planned and everything. The only thing he wanted my help with was to choose the wine, but then he proceeded to tell me which types of wine his parents preferred, so he ended up taking that task off me as well.

  Sitting at the dining table, he was writing lists and recipes, while I watched on in wonder. He was a control freak, through and through. “Cooper, sweetheart,” I said with a kiss to his temple. “They’re coming here to see you, which shows they’re making an effort.”

  “Which is why it has to be perfect!” he cried.

  “It will be. Just be yourself.”

  He exhaled through puffed-out cheeks. “Tom, I just want them to see us, you know?”

  “They will,” I reassured him.

  “How come you’re so confident?”

  “Because they love you,” I answered. “And because you’re cooking, not me.”

  He finally smiled. “That’s true.”

  I snatched the shopping list. “At least let me get the grocery items.”

  Cooper smiled at me. “You mean, let Jennifer order them for you.”

  I resisted sticking my tongue out at him. “Jennifer doesn’t do everything for me.”

  His lips twisted as he tried not to smile. “Oh, okay, if you say so,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Tell her it doesn’t matter what kind of flowers she orders, just as long as they’re bright.”

  I didn’t even try to deny that I’d be giving the list to Jennifer. I lifted my chin with dignity. “Jennifer knows where to buy the best stuff.”

  Cooper laughed. “So, if the day ever arrives when I get flowers delivered, or cool Lego sets, or new Prada boots from the new winter collection, I’ll just presume Jennifer buys them for me?”

  This time it was me who laughed. “New Prada boots?”

  “Well, they are nice,” he lamented. “They’re black, and pull-on, and they have this stitching patterned across the toe…you know, just in case you were wondering which ones…”

  I shook my head at him. “Your ability to drop a subtle hint is sorely lacking.”

  Cooper got up from his seat, sat himself on my lap and kissed me. “You know what else is sorely lacking?”

  I smiled. “No idea.”

  “You.”

  I quirked an eyebrow at him. “Me?”

  “I’ve been so busy, and I feel so bad, and this week will be even busier, and then next week my family will be here,” he said. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re second place for me, because you’re not.” He held my face in his hands. “You’re first place, all the time. Even if I’m at work, or in a meeting, or whatever, you’re always first.”

  His words and the sincerity in his eyes made me smile. “I know that.”

  “I know you say you understand how busy I am, but, Tom, I can’t see it slowing down any time soon, and if anything, the more my name gets out there, the busier I’ll be.”

  “Cooper, it’s fine, really.”

  “You say that now,” he said. “But what about later, in a year or five years’ time, when you’re sick of being alone?”

  “I won’t be alone,” I told him. “I have my work, too. And Ryan, and my mom—and Cooper, I have you. We’ll just have to plan around our schedules and work in some time for us.”

  He smiled. “I’d like that. Maybe one weekend a month, we could take off. Get out of the city, or book a mystery flight away for a few days every now and then, or even if we stay here, we can tell Lionel we’ve gone, turn our phones off and block out the world.”

  “That sounds perfect.”

  “I just don’t want to lose us. Life’s gonna get busy, and I want to keep us in check, you know?”

  I kissed him sweetly. “God, I love you. You’re just…”

  “Awesome?”

  “Sassy.”

  “Did you just call me a little shit?”

  I shook my head slowly. “Maybe.”

  “And to think I was going to ask you to take me to bed.” He sighed dramatically. “Now I might just insist on you cooking me dinner.”

  “How about both?”

  “In what order?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Yes.”

  “How hungry are you?”

  “Starving.”

  “How about I order dinner to be delivered, which should give us about forty minutes to fill in.”

  He smiled when he kissed me. “I do believe I like the way you think.”

  * * * *

  First chance I got at work on Monday, I Googled Prada stores, then the boots he had mentioned. One thing was certain. Cooper had expensive taste. Whether he was joking about wanting the boots or not, I bought them.

  But then knowing ordering them online wouldn’t be good enough, I went to the store in my lunch hour. I had the store wrap them and courier them to his office, with a handwritten note attached that read, Anything for you…

  I got sidetracked with new clientele, and it wasn’t until I was walking home that I realised I’d not heard from Cooper. I was a little disappointed, but looked forward to seeing his reaction first-hand when he got home.

  It was late, well after I’d got home, and he walked through the door looking tired. He slumped his satchel on the floor next to the sofa, then sat across from me on the other lounge. I put the job file I was reading through down and watched him.

  Without a word, he lifted his newly-Prada-booted feet and slid them onto the coffee table, and a slow smile spread across his face.

  “Anything for you,” he repeated what I’d written on the card.

  I stared straight at him. “Yes.”

  “You didn’t have to actually buy them, you know. I was only joking.”

  “Your wish, my command. Or something like that,” I said, smiling back at him.

  “My wish?”

  “I believe I said ‘anything’, yes.”

  “My wish is you, in me.”

  My eyes widened at his blatant request. “Is that so?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re very tired.”

  “Then fuck me slowly.”

  I shook my head at him, but stood up and held out my hand. He took it, and I pulled him to his feet but as I stepped towards the hall, he pulled me back to him. Cooper slid his arms around me and held me, nuzzling into my neck.

  “I was having such a shitty day today,” he mumbled into my collarbone. “And then I got some boots delivered and you have no idea how much I wanted to leave right then and come see you.”

  I tightened my hold on him and ran one hand over the back of his head.

  “It wasn’t even the boots, really.” Then he amended, “Don’t get me wrong. They’re great
, but the card…”

  “Anything for you,” I whispered against the side of his head.

  He nodded. “It was just what I needed to hear. Thank you.”

  “You’re very welcome.”

  “Take me to bed, Tom.”

  “You’re so tired, sweetheart.”

  He pulled back to look at me. “Are you going to make me beg?”

  I shook my head and kissed his lips. “Never.”

  I made love to him, softly, slowly. I savoured every movement, every thrust. Cooper was on his back, with his legs bent to his chest. He never took his mouth from mine. He kissed me deeply, keeping rhythm with every roll of my hips. His orgasm surged through him, his eyes fluttered closed and his fingers dug into my skin.

  By the time I had us both cleaned up, he was half asleep. When I crawled in next to him, he burrowed himself into my side. I kissed the side of his head and whispered that I loved him, but he was already asleep.

  * * * *

  Tuesday at work was productive. I got in early, left late and got a lot of work done. Jennifer came in just before she left for the day, and sat down across from me. She looked worried.

  “Tom,” she said. “Robert’s up to something.”

  I put my pen down and sighed. “What do you mean?”

  “He’s been asking questions around the office, apparently. Not just on this floor either. I don’t know what his problem is.”

  “His problem is that I’m gay,” I told her outright.

  “He never had a problem with it before.”

  “He never saw me with anyone before,” I said. “I’m presuming when he saw me with Cooper at my father’s funeral, he didn’t like it much.”

  “He never said anything to me,” she told me. “He sat with me the entire time.”

  I shrugged. “It’s the only thing I can think of.”

  “Well, I don’t like it, Tom. It makes me feel uneasy.” She shook her head. “You’ve given so much of your life to this place. I just don’t know what he’s trying to achieve.”

  “Maybe he wants me gone.”

  Jennifer blinked. “I work for you. I don’t want to work for anyone else.”

  I gave her a smile. “I’m sure it won’t come to that. He simply can’t just say he wants me fired because I’m gay. He’d be in court faster than he could blink, and he knows it. I gave him the perfect opportunity to issue me with a written notice, citing violation of policy, and he didn’t do it.”

  “Because he couldn’t prove anything.”

  “That was just him letting me know he knew damn well I’d breached policy,” I told her. I exhaled loudly. “Jennifer, I don’t know, to be honest. But as long as I keep doing my job, he can’t say anything. He might not like my choice of partner, but it doesn’t concern him.”

  Jennifer frowned. “Well, I don’t like it.”

  I gave her a smile. “I know, but try not to worry. It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

  She gave me a nod, though she hardly looked convinced. “Give Cooper my best.”

  “I will,” I told her. “I’ll just wrap up this file and be heading home myself.”

  “See you in the morning,” she said, and the door closed quietly behind her.

  Needless to say, my mind was hardly on the job folder in front of me.

  Whatever Robert’s issues were, they were with me, and I hated that Jennifer was worried over whatever nonsense he was hell-bent on proving.

  I’d given ten years of my life to Brackett and Golding. I’d worked seven days a week, putting in countless, endless hours. I’d won contract after contract, award after award—they were on shelves and walls, peppering my success in this company over the last decade.

  Admittedly, the success was for me as much as it was for Brackett and Golding. But the feeling of being shunned, ousted, was not pleasant.

  Actually, it was pretty fucking awful.

  I packed up my satchel, needing to talk to Cooper. I knew it would piss him off and that I had to tell him, but it was late when he got home. He was stressed enough with the Xavier job, and his parents visiting this weekend, so I tried to let it go.

  But when we were lying in bed, with Cooper’s head on my chest, me tracing circles on his back, I had to tell him. I didn’t want to keep anything from him. I took a deep breath, and said, “I think Robert’s trying to get rid of me.”

  He leaned up on his elbow. “Seriously?”

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  He opened his mouth, no doubt to rant, but I rolled onto my side and faced him. “Cooper, don’t worry. I haven’t been issued with any kind of warning or anything like that. He’s just been snooping, trying to find something that will stick. Nothing may come of it. I just wanted you to know.”

  Even in the darkened room, I could see him frown. “What’s his problem? Is it me? Is it because I was your intern? Is it something you did? Is it something I did?”

  I traced my fingers across his cheekbone. “I think it’s because I’m gay.”

  Cooper’s mouth snapped shut, and I knew he was mad. So I leaned in and kissed him, soft and sweet. “Cooper, sweetheart, I’ve told you before. I wouldn’t change a thing I’ve done. I wouldn’t. I don’t care what he thinks, or anyone else for that matter. He can fire me for all I care, because I somehow got you. And I’d choose you every day for the rest of my life over Robert Chandler.”

  Cooper fell back onto his back. “Jesus, Tom. Don’t ask me to marry you when I’m mad. Fuck.”

  I laughed and pulled him against me. “Was there a proposal in there somewhere, on some Cooper frequency that I didn’t hear?”

  He sighed. “You keep talking forever.”

  I nodded. “And marriage and forever are the same?”

  “Yep.”

  I kissed the top of his head, unable to stop smiling. “Go to sleep.”

  He mumbled, “Don’t tell me what to do,” but tightened his hold on me, and soon was sound asleep.

  * * * *

  I went about my work on Wednesday, like any other day. I kept an eye out for Robert, but didn’t see him. Cooper called me after lunch to see how things were, and I told him it was all just normal. “Maybe I’m imagining it,” I said.

  “And Jennifer?” he asked. “She doesn’t miss a thing in that office.”

  I sighed. “She’s the one who told me she thought something was wrong.”

  “Fuck, Tom,” he said with a groan.

  “We’ll talk about it tonight,” I said.

  “I’ll be late,” he said. “I’m so close to finishing this, and then Xavier Baurhenn will be out of my life.”

  “I’ll wait up.”

  “You better.”

  I smiled as I hung up the phone. But we didn’t talk about it when he got home.

  The doctor called him at work with his blood test results, and we talked about that instead. Everything was clear and physically he was in perfect health. But he was unsure about something. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, frowning.

  “Cooper, what is it?”

  He shrugged. “Well, just about the unprotected sex conversation we had before…”

  “We don’t have to not use condoms,” I said. “Like we said before, no pressure. When we’re ready.”

  “I want to,” he said quietly. “Not yet, I don’t think. But one day, soon maybe, if you want…”

  I lifted his chin, and kissed his lips. “I want to, but when we’re ready.”

  He bit his lip, and nodded. “Okay.”

  “No pressure,” I added. “We’ll know when it’s the right time.”

  His stomach grumbled, interrupting the conversation. I insisted he eat something, which he did, then I ran us a steaming hot shower and we fell into bed where he made love to me.

  It was slow and deep, and when I imagined what it would be like to one day have him inside me, condomless, skin on skin, how he’d come inside me, I came.

  * * * *

  On Thursday morning, we walked through the
lobby saying a quick hello to Lionel and chatting about New York winters. Cooper had reminded me of the grocery order I had to make today for his parents’ dinner party. “Oh, and the little Italian patisserie on Eighth has these little fig tarts. I’m sure Mrs Lionel would love them heated up.”

  Lionel was quick to object. “No, Mr Jones, you don’t have to do that.”

  “I don’t,” Cooper replied simply. “Tom does.”

  Lionel looked at me, somewhat alarmed, and I just smiled and rolled my eyes. “Really, Lionel, there is no point in arguing.”

  Lionel gave me a smile and a shrug, and Cooper nodded like his work here was done. With a quick kiss, Cooper and I went on our separate ways to work.

  But then just before my ten o’clock meeting, Jennifer buzzed through my intercom. “Mr Elkin?”

  She sounded worried. “What is it, Jennifer?”

  “You have a phone call on line one. He said his name was Lionel.”

  I frowned at the blinking button on my phone. “Thanks, Jennifer. I’ll take it.” I picked up the receiver. “Thomas Elkin speaking.”

  “Mr Elkin,” Lionel’s familiar voice said.

  “Lionel, is everything okay?”

  “Well, yes,” he said unsure. “I’ve tried calling Mr Jones, but he’s in meetings all day, apparently. I hope you don’t mind me calling you at work. I have your office number in case of emergencies.”

  “Lionel, it’s fine,” I said, knowing he’d never call me if it wasn’t warranted. “What is it?”

  “There’s a young gentleman here who says he’s here to see Mr Jones. He says his name is Maxwell Jones. He says he’s Mr Jones’ brother?”

  “Max?”

  “Yes, sir.” Then Lionel said, “I don’t want to send him out onto the streets, Mr Elkin, if he is indeed Mr Jones’ brother.”

  “Does he have long black hair, a nose ring?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Shit. “Tell him to wait. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  Chapter Seven

  When I walked into the lobby of my apartment, Lionel was laughing with our surprise visitor, who was indeed Max.

  Cooper’s brother’s eyes brightened when he saw me. Whether he was just happy to see a familiar face or me in particular, I wasn’t sure. Considering I’d only met him once, and he’d called me old, I assumed it was the former.