A half-minute later, Tess heard the elevator descend. She finished her apple, assessed the artwork for her article, and decided that Trask was right - she needed a break. But the trouble was, she knew that after her swim at the health club, after a shower, a walk home, a salad, a meatless tomato sauce on pasta (with plenty of mushrooms, onions, and green peppers), she'd still feel compelled to work on the article. So in spite of Trask's advice, she packed up her artwork and two boxes of research, slung her purse across her shoulder, hefted both boxes as well as her clipboard of legal-sized yellow notepaper, used an elbow to shut off her office light switch, and proceeded along the hallway, elbowing other light switches as she passed them.
A further nudge of her elbow turned on the intruder alarm.. Stepping back from the infrared beam, she fumbled to open and close the door, which locked behind her automatically. In a small waiting area, she nudged her arm against the elevator's button, sagged against the wall, heard the elevator rise, and finally admitted she was tired.
Fatigue, or fate. For whatever reason, when the doors hissed open and Tess stepped into the elevator, she lost her grip on her clipboard. It fell to the floor, dislodging the gold Cross pen she'd clipped onto it. The pen, a gift from her father on the day she'd entered college, had bittersweet significance - her father had never lived to see her graduate.
With a mournful twinge, she pressed the button marked LOBBY, felt the elevator sink, and stooped with her purse and boxes to grope for the clipboard and pen. Bent over, her hips angled into the air, she tensed when the elevator unexpectedly stopped. As its doors slid open, she peered backward, up past her knees, and a man loomed into view, casting a long shadow over her. Her awkward undignified pose made Tess feel vulnerable, at the very least embarrassed. Nothing like presenting my better side, she thought.
But the man's good-natured smile put her instantly at ease. With a sympathetic shrug, he picked up her clipboard and pen, and although Tess realized it only later, his act of courtesy changed her life. In nightmarish days and weeks to come, Tess would compulsively re-analyze these next few moments and wonder if she'd never dropped her clipboard and pen, maybe they'd never have started talking. Maybe none of the pain, grief, and terror would ever have happened.
But her conclusions were always the same. Events had controlled her. No matter the horrifying results, she couldn't have changed a thing any more than she'd have been able to repress the immediate attraction she felt toward this man. Absurd? Illogical? Yes. Call it chemistry, or call it vibrations. Call it a confluence of the planets or a merging of the stars. Whatever the explanation, her knees had felt weak, her groin warm, and she'd briefly feared that she might faint. But instead of sinking, she'd managed to straighten, face the man, and keep herself from wavering.
The man was tall, six-feet-one at least, and Tess, who was also tall, appreciated men whose shoulders weren't even with her own. He had healthy, glowing, tanned skin, and square-jawed, rugged, classically handsome features. His body was perfectly proportioned, muscular yet trim. His clothes were similar to hers. Sneakers, jeans, a blue cotton shirt, the collar of which projected from a burgundy cotton pullover. But his eyes, though. They were what Tess most noticed. They glinted with a radiance that seemed to come from his soul, and their color was unusual, gray, a tint that Tess had encountered only in the heroes of arousing romance novels that she'd read with guilty pleasure during her middle teens.
As she tried to look dignified, the stranger's good-natured smile persisted. 'Tough day?'
'Not bad. Just long,' Tess said.
The stranger pointed toward the boxes she held. 'And apparently about to get longer.'
Tess blushed. 'I guess I try to do too much.'
That's better than doing too little.' The stranger pressed the elevator button marked LOBBY and narrowed his eyes toward her pen. 'Gold Cross,' he said, noting the manufacturer's name. The words seemed to have particular significance for him. He attached the pen to the clipboard and gave them to her.
Briefly their hands touched. Static electricity must have leapt, for Tess's fingers tingled.
'You work for Earth Mother Magazine!' the stranger asked.
'How did you-?'
The labels on those boxes.'
'Oh, of course.' Tess blushed again. 'And you? You came from the floor below mine. There's only one business on that floor. A TV production firm. Truth Video.'
'Right. By the way, I've read your magazine. It's excellent. In fact, I'm putting together a documentary that's related to your work - a video on the lack of sufficient safeguards at nuclear-waste sites. Between your work and mine, I can't think of anything more important.'
Than trying to save the planet?' Tess nodded, despondent. 'If only more people felt the same way.'
'Well, that's the problem, isn't it?'
'Oh?' Tess frowned. 'I see so many problems. Which one do you-?'
'Human nature. I'm not sure the planet can be saved.'
Tess felt surprised by his response.
The elevator stopped.
'Do you need help with those boxes?' the stranger asked.
'No, really, I can manage.'
Then let me hold open the lobby door.'
They emerged to frenzied pedestrians, blaring traffic, acrid exhaust fumes, and a smog-dirtied sunset.
This is what I mean.' The stranger shook his head, sounding mournful. I'm not sure the planet can be saved.' He helped Tess hail a taxi, peered around as if in search of someone, told her 'God bless,' and walked briskly away, blending with the crowd, disappearing almost magically into it.
Tess's fingers still tingled.
TWO
The next morning, standing in the lobby, waiting for the elevator, Tess glanced toward the right, noticed the stranger enter the building, and felt her cheeks flush.
'Well, hello again,' he said.
Flustered by her attraction to him, doing her best to hide it, Tess managed a pleasant smile. 'Nice morning.'
'Isn't it, though? When I went for my run, a breeze cleared the air. There's still not much smog yet.'
'You run?'
'Every day.'
'Hey, so do I,' Tess said.
'It shows.'
Tess felt her cheeks flush even more.
'Good for the body,' the stranger said, 'good for the soul.'
'I try.'
They lapsed into silence.
The silence lengthened.
This elevator.' Tess sighed.
'Yes. Awfully slow. But I do my best to take everything as it comes.'
'Sort of like "patience is a virtue"?'
The man debated. 'Let's call it a discipline.'
The doors slid open.
There. You see.' The stranger pointed. 'Everything in time.'
They entered the elevator.
'I promise not to drop anything,' Tess said.
'I was pleased to help.'
'But I didn't have a chance to thank you.'
'Not necessary,' the stranger said. 'You'd have done the same thing for me.'
Tess watched him push buttons for his floor, then hers, and noted with satisfaction that he didn't wear a wedding ring.
The stranger turned. 'I suppose - if we're going to keep bumping into each other - we ought to introduce ourselves.'
Tess loved the way his gray eyes twinkled. She told him her name, or at least her first name. By habit, she deliberately didn't mention that her last name was Drake because people occasionally associated it with her well-known father, and she felt upset whenever she had to talk about the brutal way he'd been killed.
'Tess?' The stranger cocked his head and nodded. 'Beautiful. That's short for.'
'Theresa.' Again she didn't tell the stranger the full truth. Although Tess' was sometimes used as a shortened form of 'Theresa', her nickname resulted from her father's teasing practice of calling her 'Contessa Theresa' when she was a child. He'd finally shortened it lovingly to just Tess'.
'Of course,' the dark-haired, stri
kingly handsome man said. Theresa. The Spanish mystic, the originator of the Carmelite Order of nuns.'
Tess blinked, surprised. 'I didn't know. That is. I wasn't aware of.'
'It doesn't matter. I've got a knack for collecting all sorts of useless information.'
'And your name?' Tess asked.
'Joseph.'
No last name, Tess noted, just as she hadn't volunteered hers.
The elevator jerked to a stop.
'I guess it's time again for my penance,' Joseph said.
'It can't be that bad. Last night, I got the impression you enjoyed your work.'
'Documenting the decay of the planet? That's hardly enjoyable. Still, I do get satisfaction from trying to accomplish some good.' Joseph left the elevator and turned to her, his face glowing. 'God bless.'
As the doors slid shut and Joseph disappeared, Tess's stomach sank, but not from the upward motion of the elevator.
THREE
The next day, Friday, Tess became so absorbed in her article that she worked through her lunch hour. At quarter after two, the rumbles in her stomach made her finally decide that her concentration would suffer if she didn't get something to eat.
When she entered the elevator, she thought of Joseph. Descending, it stopped at the floor below hers. Again, she tingled. No, she thought. This is just a coincidence.
But her knees went weak when the doors slid open and Joseph entered.
He grinned, apparently not at all surprised to see her. 'Looks like we're destined to keep bumping into each other.' He pressed the button marked LOBBY. 'How's your penance?'
Standing close to him, feeling his arm against hers, Tess tried to control her breathing. 'Penance?' Abruptly she remembered that he'd used that expression yesterday. 'Oh, you mean my work. I'm doing an article on acid rain. It's going well.'
'Can't ask for better than well.'
'I.'
'Yes?'
'Don't you think it's odd, to say the least, that you and I decided to take the elevator at."
'The same moment? Joseph shrugged. 'The world's an odd place. Long ago, I decided to accept fate instead of question it. Some things are meant to happen.'
'Like kismet or karma?'
'Providence.' Joseph's gray eyes glinted. 'Late lunch?'
Tess smelled his aftershave lotion and couldn't keep her voice from quavering. 'I lost track of time.'
'Me, too. Clock time anyhow. There's a deli across the street. Care to join me?'
Gooseflesh prickled Tess's arms. 'Only if it's Dutch treat.'
Joseph spread his hands. 'Whatever you like. But for me, it'll still be a treat.'
Outside, on the noisy sidewalk, they waited for a break in traffic and darted across toward the deli. The afternoon was humid, the struggling sunlight dull with exhaust haze. As Tess reached the opposite sidewalk, she glanced toward Joseph and couldn't help noticing that, just as the first time she'd met him, he peered around as if searching for someone in the crowd. Why? She repressed a frown, wondering - influenced by her father's habits - did Joseph think that he was being watched? Come on, she told herself. This isn't a secret meeting. Get real.
The brightly lit deli, after the noon-hour rush, was only a quarter full.
'Our pastrami's very good today,' the waiter said.
'Thanks. No meat, though,' Joseph said. 'I'd like your tomato, sprouts, and cucumber sandwich.'
'Cole slaw? How about a dill pickle?'
'Might as well. And a bottle of mineral water.'
'Sounds good,' Tess said. The same for me.' When the waiter left, she studied Joseph. 'No meat? You're a vegetarian?'
'It's not a big deal. Meat just doesn't agree with me. Besides, this is Friday.'
Tess - a Roman Catholic - thought she understood the reference. Years ago, Catholics had not been allowed to eat meat on Friday. But only elderly, extremely conservative Catholics still obeyed that outmoded rule, and Joseph, like her, was young enough that he couldn't have been conditioned to abstain from meat on Friday for fear of committing a sin.
The reason I asked' - Tess subdued her puzzlement - 'is that I'm mostly a vegetarian, too.'
'Well, that's something else we share in common.'
'Like being Roman Catholic?'
Joseph frowned. 'What makes you think I'm a Catholic?'
'No meat on Friday.'
'Ah,' Joseph said. 'I see. No, I don't belong to that religion.'
'Sorry. I apologize. I guess I'm asking too many questions.'
'Don't worry about it. I'm not offended.'
Then as long as I'm. If you don't mind, let me ask you something else,' Tess said.
'I'm waiting.'
'Why did you look so nervous when you crossed the street?'
Joseph laughed. 'In New York? With all the junkies and crazy drivers? Who doesn't look nervous?'
'One more question.'
'Sure.'
'. Would you like to see me tomorrow?' Tess's boldness surprised her. Her heart skipped.
'Would.?' Joseph concentrated, peered down at the table, toyed with his knife and fork, then focused his intense gray eyes upon her. 'Of course. I'd enjoy your company very much.'
Tess exhaled.
'But I have to be honest.'
Damn, Tess thought. Here it comes. This is what I was afraid of. A man this gorgeous, he's probably going to tell me he's involved with someone.
'By all means.' She straightened and pressed her hands on the table, preparing herself. 'I appreciate honesty.'
'We can only be friends.'
I'm not sure what.'
'What I mean is, we can never be lovers.'
His frankness startled her. 'Hey,' Tess said, 'I wasn't making a proposition. It's not like I asked you to go to bed.'
'I know that. Really, your behavior's impeccable.' Joseph reached across the table and tenderly touched her hand. She noticed he had a jagged scar on the back of his wrist. 'I didn't mean to offend or embarrass you. It's just that. there are certain things about me you wouldn't understand.'
'I think I do understand.'
'Oh?'
'You're gay? Is that it?'
Joseph laughed. 'Not at all.'
'I mean, it wouldn't bother me or anything if you are gay. I'd just like to know. I don't want to make a bigger fool of myself than I already have.'
'Believe me, Tess, I'm not gay, and you haven't made a fool of yourself.'
Then maybe you've had some kind of accident, and.'
'You mean, have I been emasculated? Hardly. The truth is, I'm extremely flattered that you want to spend time with me. But I have certain. well, let's call them obligations. I can't explain what they are or why I have to abide by them. You just have to trust and believe and accept. The point is, I welcome your friendship.'
'Friendship?' Tess squirmed. 'I once got rid of a persistent boy in high school by telling him that I only wanted him as a friend.'
'But this isn't high school,' Joseph said. 'If you want my companionship. and I'd enjoy yours. I hate to sound formal, but those are my terms.'
'Listen.' Tess bit her lip. 'Maybe we ought to forget it.'
'Why? Because you can't imagine a male and female relationship that doesn't result in sex?' Joseph asked.
'God, I feel like such an idiot.'
'Don't,' Joseph said. 'You're a healthy, intelligent, attractive woman with normal desires. But I'm'-Joseph's gaze intensified -'totally different.'
'You'll get no argument. And maybe that's why.'She couldn't believe she was saying this. 'I want to be with you.'
'Platonically,' Joseph said.
'All right. Sure. For now. But who knows.?'
'No, Tess. Not just for now, but always. Trust me, that way is better.'
'Why?'
'Because it's eternal.'
'You're the strangest man I ever met,' Tess said.
'I'll accept that as a compliment.'
'Okay.' Tess increased her resolve. 'What time tomorrow?'
'Ten
a.m.?' Joseph suggested. The upper East Side. Carl Schurz Park. Off Eighty-Eighth Street. Next to the mayor's house.'
'I know it.'
There's a jogging track beside the river. Since we exercise every day, we might as well do it together.'
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