I shook my head. “Not anymore. Skeeter cut you loose. You can do anything now. What do you want?”
Lust filled his eyes, and I was sure he was going to kiss me, but he stood. “I better take my shower.”
I crawled off the bed, blocking his path to the restroom. “Jed, wait.”
He glanced down at me but didn’t say a word.
“You said you thought you were irredeemable. Do you really believe that?”
“Neely Kate . . .”
He didn’t need to tell me. I knew. I reached up on my tiptoes and gave him a soft kiss, worried about rejection but willing to take the risk. “You’re not irredeemable, Jed. You’re a good man, and you keep showin’ me that man over and over again. You . . . you told me that you see something different in me than I see in myself. Do you know what I see when I look at you? I see someone strong and brave. A man who’s willing to risk his job and his life to help the people he’s loyal to. I see a man with a heart so full of goodness he doesn’t see strippers and prostitutes as whores—he sees them as women doin’ the best they can to get by. Let me be your mirror, Jed. See the man that I see.”
His mouth covered mine with a raw hunger that caught me by surprise, but I quickly met him in kind. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he lifted me up and then pressed my back to the wall as his mouth ravaged mine. I wrapped my arms around his hips, and my dress gathered up to my waist. The cool, air-conditioned air hit my scantily clad butt, but his large hands quickly warmed me as he held me to him.
His pelvis pushed into mine, his erection pressing in at exactly the right spot to make me moan. But my response must have set off some alarm. He lifted his head and horror filled his eyes. “I swore I wouldn’t do this.”
“You kissed me before,” I reminded him.
“Not like this. Before it was to show you how beautiful you are inside and out. This . . .”
He tried to put me down, but I locked my feet together behind his back. “Jed, I changed my mind. I want you to touch me.”
He shook his head and gave me a tug to dislodge me. “Not like this.”
I let him slide me down, but I hung on to his neck, refusing to let go. “Not like what?”
“Not with anger and recklessness.”
I gasped in surprise. “Are you angry with me?”
“Not you, Neely Kate. God, not you, but I’m angry with the world, and I refuse to punish you for it.” Then he pulled my hands loose and escaped to the bathroom.
I watched the door shut, wondering what had happened. If Jed’s kiss had been fueled by anger, what had fueled mine?
Chapter 13
After his shower, Jed walked out wearing nothing but a towel, and I got an eyeful of what I’d missed out on.
Jed was solid muscle.
From his pecs to his eight-pack, from his arms to the knotted muscles on his shoulder blades as he bent over his bag and pulled out some clothes and a small toiletry bag. There was so much for my eyes to feast on, they didn’t know where to look. His hand held the towel slung around his hips, and the rise of his butt peeked out under the towel’s edge.
Sweet baby Jesus.
He turned around, and I froze when our gazes met—he’d caught me ogling him. What should I do? Pretend our earlier kiss hadn’t happened? Throw myself at him and try to resume where we’d left off? The latter wasn’t an option because a new tension had filled the room, and it wasn’t sexual. Plus, I got the distinct impression that Jed would prefer to be a million miles away from me at the moment.
“Like I mentioned before,” I said nervously, “I plan to go to the trailer park first. I don’t expect anything dangerous there. If you want, you can stay here, and I can use your car—I promise to come back. I’m not going to drive off and leave you here.” His gaze didn’t waver, and I found myself adding, “Great, now you probably think I’m gonna run off.”
He watched me for another second longer, and then the intensity of his gaze softened slightly. “I know you’re not gonna run off. But we’re sticking together.”
“It’s just that I get the impression you need to be alone. I want to respect that.”
“We stick together.” Then he disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door.
He emerged a few minutes later, wearing jeans and a white T-shirt that clung to his still-damp skin. Jed may have been able to shut down his libido, but mine had just ratcheted up a few more degrees.
He tossed his dirty clothes on top of his bag as he crossed the room to me. His hands landed on my shoulders, and I was sure he was going to kiss me again, instead he spun me around, putting my back to his chest. He lifted his hands into my hair, and I held my breath with anticipation.
One of his hands rested lightly on my shoulder, and he said softly, “I want to look at your stitches. I need to make sure you’re okay. I just slammed your head against the wall a few minutes ago.” The last sentence was full of bitterness, but I knew it was directed inward, not at me.
“You didn’t hurt me, Jed.”
“I could have.”
I glanced over my shoulder at him. “I’m not some fragile flower that’s gonna be crushed.”
Both of his hands turned my head to face in front of me while his fingers gently separated my hair.
“It’s up higher,” I said.
His fingers moved up until he found it. “Are you putting anything on it?”
“I can’t wash my hair for a week. Do you think I’m going to put ointment in there?”
“Sit on the bed.”
Part of me wanted to argue with him, but he was working out some inner demon of his own, and I didn’t want to stand in the way of that. He was being respectful of the way I was handling the skeletons in my closet. I could be respectful of how he handled his.
He went into the bathroom, only to return seconds later. “Let me know if this hurts.”
“Okay.” I felt a cool salve touch my scalp as Jed’s finger lightly traced my stitches.
“Does that hurt?”
“No, Jed. I’m fine.”
He went into the bathroom again, and I heard water running in the sink. “I need to put that on you twice a day.”
“I’ll be fine.”
The water stopped and he appeared in the doorway, drying his hands with a towel. “I’ve had some experience with stitches.” The corner of his mouth lifted slightly. “Trust me on this.”
I nearly cried with relief that my Jed was peeking out of the surly man who had replaced him. “Thank you.”
He tossed the towel into the bathroom. “Let’s go.”
Twenty minutes later, Jed pulled into the Winter Haven Mobile Home Park, and my anxiety shot through the roof. I grabbed the armrest attached to the car door and squeezed tight.
Jed pulled over to the side of the gravel lane. “Neely Kate. Talk to me.”
“I’m okay,” I said between pants. But I wasn’t, of course. Everything was rushing back in horrific detail.
“You don’t look okay.”
“Just give me a moment. It’s been a while.”
He leaned over me and opened the glove compartment, then pulled out a small handgun.
“You won’t need that,” I said, trying to catch my breath. “It’s not like that.”
He popped out the clip, looked at it, then popped it back in. “Nevertheless, it’s better to be prepared.”
Maybe that’s what I was doing now, preparing myself. My reaction had caught me by surprise. I’d loved Zelda like a mother. Rose’s old boyfriend’s mother, Maeve, reminded me a lot of her. Only, Maeve was the sweeter, more genteel version of Zelda, who could best be described as a character.
I expected Jed to tuck the gun somewhere on his body, so I was surprised when he handed it to me.
“Why are you giving me that?”
“Because I know you know how to use it. I need to know you’re covered.”
“Jed, I don’t need it.”
He grabbed my hand and placed it in my palm.
“Neely Kate. I have no idea what to expect here, so please humor me.”
I put the gun back in the still-open glove compartment. Before he could protest, I opened my purse and partially lifted out my own gun. “Remember this? I think Merv’s still pretty well-acquainted with it.”
He studied me. “Would you really have shot him?”
“I’d like to say no, but Kate already had me on edge. If he’d attacked me again, I’m not sure what I would have done, although I wouldn’t have aimed for anything vital.” I paused. “Not looking so innocent now, am I? Changed your mind about me yet?”
“Why wouldn’t I respect your ability to take care of yourself?”
“If I can take care of myself, then why are you here?”
“Because even Skeeter and I need backup. I’m backup.”
I closed my purse. “Thanks.”
“Are you ready, or do you need more time?”
I took a deep breath, grateful Jed had once again pulled me out of my spiral of anxiety. “I’m good.”
“Then tell me where to go.”
We drove to the back of the park, then turned left on the last road in the place. “Go slow,” I said.
He obeyed without question, slowing down to a ridiculous 5 MPH, yet that was almost too fast for me. I took a deep breath as I pointed across the street to the trailer Zelda had lived in, but my eyes were on the hellhole I’d lived in with my mother. When I thought of this place, a whole host of images and memories filled my head, none of them good. Cigarette smoke and a parade of men. My fear of unleashing my mother’s temper, reinforced by her stinging words and the back of her hand. My desperation to escape. Then, after she dumped me off with my grandmother, my determination to find her again.
No wonder I was screwed up.
He pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park. “How do you want to play this?”
Ignoring him, I opened the door and got out, the heat blasting me in the face. I took two steps toward my mother’s old trailer before I stopped myself. Why was I drawn to the trailer I’d lived in with my mother? I’d come back to this trailer park seven years ago and lived next door to Momma’s old place for a year. I’d never given it the time of day—not after learning my mother had long since moved on—so why was I so drawn to it now? Maybe it was because my mother had been a complete mystery at the time. I hadn’t known if she was living or dead. Kate had proven she was not only alive, but living in West Virginia.
Or had she?
I’d taken her word for it, which was unlike me. I’d trusted a certified psychopath.
What if she’d never met my mother? What if she didn’t know anything about my past at all?
But she knew about Beasley and the azaleas. Even if she was lying about Momma, and my gut told me she wasn’t, she knew plenty.
I felt Jed’s arm around my back, his hand resting on the rise of my hip. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
He gave me a dubious look but didn’t say anything. “How do you want to explain my presence?”
“I hadn’t thought about it, but I’m sure you have.”
“I want to play it like I did last night—I’m your boyfriend. People will be less likely to mess with you if they think you have a no-nonsense guy interested in your well-being.”
“Okay,” I said, a little more pleased with the idea than I had any right to be. “But that’s not really an issue here.”
“I guess we’ll find out. It’s been five years. Do you know if she’s still here?”
I pointed to the car in her driveway. “I’d recognize that gold Charger anywhere.”
Taking another breath, I headed across the gravel drive, the wind blowing my skirt. I grabbed the edge to keep from flashing the whole neighborhood. I was equally excited and terrified. I was eager to see Zelda, but as soon as she opened her door, a can of worms I’d buried—literally—five years ago would be opened too. I wasn’t sure I could handle facing what I’d done.
But then I felt Jed’s hand on my back, and I drew in a deep breath and climbed the two short steps to the faded cream and brown trailer. The metal door felt hot under my fist when I knocked on it.
Several seconds later, the door opened, revealing a hunched-over elderly woman.
Zelda. I almost gasped. With her now-snow-white hair and deep wrinkles, she looked like she’d aged a decade. “Neely Kate? Oh, my stars and garters!” she exclaimed, then started to cry. “You came home.”
“Hey, Miss Zelda.”
She reached for me, pulling me over the threshold, and memories washed over me. I tried to focus on the good as the woman who’d been my surrogate mother pulled me into an embrace. “You came home,” she repeated. “I thought you were dead.”
I wasn’t a tall woman and I was wearing flat sandals, but Zelda’s arthritis must have gotten worse—she was shorter and more hunched over than I’d remembered. I led her to the worn blue-and-white plaid sofa I recognized from my time here.
I could see why she might have feared the worst. I felt guilty for hurting her, but I’d been young and stupid at the time, too concerned about self-preservation to spare a thought for anything or anyone else. Now I realized how selfish I’d been, especially leaving her with Stella.
I gave her a sad smile. “I’m alive.”
“You never came home.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
She clung to me for several long seconds, silently crying while Jed stood by the now-closed door. He scanned the small space, and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. Zelda’s trailer looked pretty much the same as it had years ago, only a lot more used. Same thrift store furniture. Same worn brown carpet, although there were more worn spots.
But there was also the same feeling of being enveloped in love.
Zelda seemed to be recovering, and when I noticed a gleam in her eyes, I knew I was in trouble. “Where have you been, girl? Did you fall off the face of the earth? Or maybe you was put in deep freeze like that Lieutenant America.”
I laughed. “Captain America, Miss Zelda.”
“Captain, Lieutenant, he can be the damned general for all I care; I’m sitting here wondering how you couldn’t bother to pick up a phone for five years.”
“I’m sorry, Miss Zelda. I have no excuse.”
She pointed her gnarled finger in my face. “You were runnin’.”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t feel like lying to her, and I sure wasn’t about to tell her the truth.
Her gaze turned to Jed. “And who might you be?”
“Jed Carlisle, ma’am,” he said in a deep voice, holding his hands together in front of him and his feet shoulder-width apart. “I’m Neely Kate’s boyfriend.”
It was a cover story, but hearing him say it still sent a thrill down my spine.
Zelda gave me an ornery look. “He’s a big boy, Neely Kate. Is he big everywhere?”
“Zelda!” I exclaimed. I had no visual confirmation of his size, but what I’d felt earlier suggested that I wouldn’t be disappointed if and when we ever slept together. I was usually the one dishing out innuendos, but I felt my face heating up, especially since Jed was watching me.
She looked pleased as punch. “Judging by the smug look on your young man’s face, it must be true.”
Jed’s eyes lit up. He seemed amused by my embarrassment, and no wonder.
She waved toward the chair in the corner. “You don’t have to stand back there, Jed. Come sit.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” The chair looked so dilapidated I wasn’t sure it would hold Jed’s frame, but he sat anyway, proving how brave he really was.
“You found yourself a nice young man, Neely Kate,” Zelda said, reaching over to pat my hand while she eyed Jed. “Polite and respectful.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said. “Jed’s one of the best.”
She turned back to me, narrowing her eyes. “I can see why hooking up with this young stud would make you want to hide away from the world and screw you
r brains out, but I suspect you haven’t been screwing Jed for all five of the years you’ve been gone, so tell me where you went.”
I started to chastise her, but Jed was having way too much fun listening to her. In the past, I’d found the best way to discourage her was to move the conversation along. “I went back to my granny in Arkansas.”
“You just took off, without a word. When you disappeared, and Branson too . . . well, Stella was beside herself.”
Stella had never felt one ounce of guilt or regret in her life. If she’d been beside herself, it was only because she no longer had me around to manipulate. Nevertheless, as bitter of a pill as it was to swallow, I needed to find her. “What’s Stella up to these days? I hear she quit her night job.”
Zelda scowled. “Night job. You two thought you were pulling one over on me, but I always knew you were working at that peep show.” She cast a glance at Jed and waved her hand dismissively. “And if you didn’t know, young man, then I’m sorry you heard this way. But if you two have any hope of makin’ it, there can’t be any secrets between you.”
“I already knew.” Jed’s smile fell, but the warmth in his eyes seemed to say he trusted me to tell him what he needed to know until I felt comfortable telling him everything.
“Ah . . .” Zelda murmured, bobbing her head. “Then you two are on the right track.”
She turned to me with sharp eyes. Maybe age had finally caught up with her, but it hadn’t dulled her mind any. “Are you still livin’ that life?” she asked in a voice full of worry.
“No,” I said quickly, before she could say anything else.
She nodded. “Good. Now tell me why you finally decided to stop by after all these years.”
It felt like my tonsils were tied together, something Jed must have sensed. “I want to know everything about Neely Kate’s life,” he said. “I asked her to bring me to meet you.”
Zelda’s eyes teared up. “Why?”
“Because Neely Kate was at a sad and desperate point in her life when she showed up here seven years ago, and you took her in out of the kindness of your heart. I wanted to personally thank you for being there for her.”
Trailer Trash (Neely Kate Mystery Book 1) Page 10