by Sindee Lynn
“Oh God,” she whispered.
She needed to talk to Dylan.
Sasha practically ran from her office, cursing the high heels she had begun to wear everyday because Dylan liked them. Dammit she had been such a fool. She had changed her life for him. And this is what it had gotten her. While waiting for the elevator to come she tried to ignore the odd looks of those who passed her in the hallway. She tapped her foot impatiently.
“Come on,” she said punching the button again.
The doors finally whisked open and she collided with a hard body.
“Excuse me,” she said glancing up into the concerned blue gaze of the man she’d been on her way to see.
“Anytime you’d like to bump into me is my pleasure,” he said an uncertain smile on his face.
Sasha didn’t find the humor.
“I was on my way to see you. Have you seen the newspapers this morning?” she asked her anger over the situation coming to the forefront now that she had someone to direct it at.
“Yeah I saw it. That’s why I was on my way to see you. I wanted to see how you were doing.”
How she was doing? Sasha wanted to yell at the top of her lungs that she wasn’t doing well at all. Gazing up at him she didn’t see the same concern that was coursing through her. Why wasn’t he as upset about this as she was? Then it hit her. He was used to his face being plastered all over the newspaper. It was no big deal for him. He wouldn't have to worry about people wondering how he got his job. He was used to being the subject of gossip. But that was not something she was used to nor did she want to get used to it.
“How am I doing Dylan? Well, let’s see. My picture is plastered on the front page of the society section. Every client I have is looking at that this morning. My family and friends are looking at that this morning. The people in this office have obviously already seen it,” she said looking around them at the people who were moving entirely too slow around them to be doing anything other than eavesdropping on their conversation.
Dylan’s gaze darkened as he took in the meandering people around them.
“Doesn’t anyone have any work to do on this floor?” he asked.
The scurry of employees moving on their way almost brought a smile to Sasha’s face. But it only served to remind her of Dylan’s position in the company and that no matter how you sliced it, he was her boss.
“Sasha I’ve been in touch with the newspaper to find out how the picture could have been taken in our private parking garage. I made sure to remind them the photographer was trespassing on private property and that is a crime. There’ll be an apology in tomorrow’s paper. So you see it’ll blow over shortly,” he said reaching for her.
She put her hands up to ward him off. The last thing she wanted him to do was touch her.
“You don’t understand. That all happens tomorrow. People are looking at the pictures today. And they’ve already started speculating.”
“So let them. We were eventually gonna make our relationship known anyway. I would have preferred it be on our terms and not like this but what’s done is done.”
In a calmer moment she may have agreed with his rationale. They had planned to bring their relationship into the light. But none of that mattered right now when the looks on the faces of the people she’d passed this morning and the coolness in the greeting from Violet all said one thing. That she, an outsider, had gotten her job because she’d slept with the CFO of the company.
Hot tears burned the backs of her eyes. It was happening again. This time she’d walked right into it with her eyes wide open. How could she have been so stupid? She’d stepped outside her rules and now she was paying the price for it.
“As long as we face all of this together and people see we’re not ashamed of what we have. It should be okay.”
When she glanced up he was shaking his head. It was if he knew what she was about to say. She saw the pleading in his eyes.
“Dylan I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to see each other any longer.”
He reached for her hands. “Sasha don’t do this. We both know why you got this job. Your qualifications speak for themselves along with the results and comments of your clients. You’re perfect for this job and for me. Take some time to think about it. Don’t make a decision you might regret later.”
The pleading in his tone almost had her changing her mind. The misery clearly reflected in his blue gaze threatened to crumble her resolve. But it was time for her to stop living in a fantasy world. This was reality. And the reality was that her reputation at this company was now tarnished. It was time for her to take control once again of where she was going instead of just being along for the ride. She gently tugged her hands from his warm grasp.
“The only decision I regret is not listening to my better judgment. Good bye Dylan.”
Sasha turned and walked back to her office. Tears clogged her throat. She somehow managed to hold them back until she was behind her closed door. Sliding down until her bottom hit the floor she buried her face in her hands. The ringing telephone on her desk faded into the background as she allowed her pain and misery to swallow her whole. The problem was she didn’t know if she cried for the injustice she felt over the invasion into her privacy or over the passion that would be forever reflected in the black and white copy. A passion she feared she’d never have again.
Chapter 19
“Okay so what are we gonna do about Sasha?” B.J. asked the group of women gathered in her living room.
Cat glanced at B.J. The deep lines of concern reflected on her face matched those of the women around her. B.J. had called an emergency intervention meeting after she’d made another failed attempt at getting through to Sasha. Something had to be done and soon. Sasha had kept herself confined within her house for the last two weeks. The only place she went was work where she didn’t sometimes leave until nine or ten o’clock at night. She was on a mission to prove herself worthy of the job she’d been given. In Cat’s opinion the only person she had to prove anything to was herself. She’d tried to tell Sasha that but she like everyone else had failed.
“What can we do? She won’t talk to any of us” Safari Lawson said taking a sip of her wine. “Hell it’s like she wants to pretend it never happened.”
“That’s exactly what she’s trying to do Ri. That’s how Sasha has always coped with stuff she can’t handle. She tries to ignore it and hopes it’ll go away,” B.J. said taking a seat beside Safari on her couch.
“Even after the apology they ran, which shocked the hell out of me, she’s still not talking about it. It’s been almost two weeks since the picture ran and things have died down,” Lynn Sanders said.
The look of concern on her face could only be described as that of a mother watching one of her kids. Lynn was the oldest in their close knit group of friends. No one who ever met her believed she was forty-five. She almost always had to pull out her id to show them.
“They ran the retraction because Presco threatened to sue their sorry asses, I’m sure. The picture was taken on private property. How stupid can you get,” Nicole Johnson exclaimed from the chair beside Cat.
Cat had to agree it was a stupid move on the part of the photographer and the person at the newspaper who made the bad judgment call to run the photos. She’d had a helluva time convincing Dylan that it would not benefit him whatsoever to go to the newspaper office for a face to face confrontation with the photographer.
“Yeah well I hope they fired the guy who let him in that night. It’s as much his fault as it is the photographer who took the pictures,” Safari said.
Dylan had taken care of that too. In fact it had been the first thing he’d done. Four people had lost their jobs at Presco because of this. The guy who had been on duty that night had implicated others. They’d all been fired.
“You’re awful quiet Cat. You got any professional thoughts on all of this?” Nicole asked her.
All eyes were on her. Cat hated this. Everyone always
assumed she had the answer to every problem that arose because she was a psychiatrist. Didn’t they know when it was personal it made it ten times harder to be objective? She’d come to think of Dylan as a friend in the past months and felt trapped in the middle. She understood his frustration over Sasha’s continued refusal to speak with him but her heart went out to her best friend who couldn't even see that it didn’t have to be this way. That’s what she got for meddling.
“In my professional opinion I believe that for Sasha to avoid her problems instead of dealing with them is unhealthy,” Cat said rising from her chair. “As her friend, I think she needs to grow the hell up and learn to face her problems.”
Cat headed towards B.J.’s bar. She needed a drink.
“You don’t think that this guy, Dylan Matthews, should bare some of the blame?” B.J. asked. “What if he took advantage of her?”
Cat rolled her eyes in the back of her head but kept quiet.
“Aw come on B.J. How do you take advantage of a grown woman really?” Nicole said shaking her head in disagreement to B.J.’s words.
“Besides it’s not like he’s the janitor and she didn’t know who he was. He’s the CFO of the company,” Safari quickly added.
“Sasha would have known who he was. Hell I know who he is and I don’t work for Presco. His face has been all over the place for some reason or other,” Nicole continued. “No she knew what she was getting into.”
“I have to agree with them. Sasha is a thinker. She would have rationally weighed the pros and cons of this relationship or whatever it is she has with him before she made a move,” Lynn added.
“Hmph, pros and cons. Did you get a good look at him? I don’t think there are any cons. Dylan Matthews is gorgeous. Maybe that’s what Sasha was thinking about. Hell who can blame her,” Safari said shaking her head.
“Not I girl,” Nicole said in agreement reaching over to high five Safari.
When the two began to discuss Dylan’s many attributes Cat couldn't keep the smile from her face. Sasha had worried with indecision on whether or not to tell their friends. Cat hadn’t been able to convince her it wouldn't have mattered to any of them one way or the other.
“Ladies we are getting a little off subject here,” Lynn said glancing towards B.J.
Cat looked over at B.J. from where she stood mixing her drink. Well maybe it would have mattered to one of them. Irritation could clearly be seen on B.J.’s face over the jokes Safari and Nicole were making. Cat’s professional side said there was something deeper going on here than what was on the surface. Her other side, the one that had just finished meddling, told it to shut the hell up.
“Does anyone know how long this has been going on?” Lynn asked bringing them back to the subject at hand.
“I know I didn’t get the memo. I would have definitely have read this one if I had,” Safari said still laughing.
“Yeah I think we all would have. Who would have ever thought it possible? Our Sasha with a white man. Hell it’s certainly newsworthy,” Nicole said laughing along with Safari.
“Well I fail to see the humor in this. I don’t understand what Sasha could have been thinking. And Dylan Matthews… what was he thinking to have let this happen?” B.J. asked. Anger flashed in her eyes and was evident in her body language.
“No one let this happen? Some jerk of a photographer paid a parking attendant to gain access to a private parking garage.” Cat said walking back to her seat, drink in hand.
“Yes well if it hadn’t been this it would have been something else. Sasha should have used better judgment than to get involved with a man like him,” B.J. replied.
What the hell did that mean? A man like him. Cat felt her resolve not to be too vocal in tonight’s meeting fading.
“So what …….Sasha should have sat around and been bored to tears with Louis the next door neighbor. That guy is a walking talking advertisement for hemorrhoid cream,” Cat responded shaking her head in disbelief.
“It would have been better than being made to look like a cheap office fling for your boss. He’s probably moved on to the next conquest by now. You won’t see him worrying about who’s talking behind his back.”
“I’m sorry I thought we were talking about Dylan not Melvin.”
Cat heard the gasps of her friends at the mention of Sasha’s ex-fiancé. It was as if his name was the foulest thing that could be said.
“I can’t tell the difference. Where the hell has Dylan been during this whole thing?” B.J. fired back.
“You wanna know where Dylan has been? He’s been threatening to smash in the face of the photographer who took the picture and the editor who approved the running. He’s been getting people fired. And more importantly, he’s been begging Sasha every day to listen to reason and not to let something like this ruin everything they have.”
“Just whose side are you on here Cat? You’re supposed to be Sasha’s best friend and you sound like you’re taking his side. You also sound like you know a whole lot more than you’ve been letting on,” B.J. practically spit the words at Cat.
Cat closed her eyes and prayed for a calm she was far from feeling. It was always this way between her and B.J. especially where Sasha was concerned. Even had she not been a professional she could have diagnosed B.J.’s jealousy a mile away. She shook her head and took a deep breath. The next time she felt the need to meddle in someone else life she would definitely think on things a little longer than she had for this one.
“I’m not trying to take sides B.J. But it’s hard to be in Sasha’s corner when she’s not even standing there herself.”
Cat stared at B.J. daring her to deny her words.
“Okay I think we all need to calm down,” Safari said from the couch glancing between Cat and B.J. “And if Cat knows more than any of us, I think we can pretty much figure out why.”
Cat didn’t know if that was a compliment or a backhanded slap in the face because of her dating preferences. Whatever it was she was glad it diverted any further questions about how much she actually knew about the situation.
“Look B.J. I know you may not wanna hear this but when I saw those pictures I barely recognized Sasha. If the caption hadn’t had her name I wouldn't have believed it. She has feelings for this man. It was all over her,” Nicole said.
“I think we all saw the same thing,” Lynn said looking pointedly at B.J. “We can’t let her just throw all that away. No matter what our feelings are on the situation.”
“So I guess the question is who’s gonna talk to her?” Safari asked.
All eyes fell on Cat. She bowed her head in resignation. After this one she would not meddle. She would leave it to little old women in Florida with blue hair.
“I will.”
Her head snapped up.
“I will talk to my sister. I saw the same thing you guys and half of Chicago saw. And despite how I feel about the situation, I would be less than a sister or a friend if I didn’t try to get her to see reason.”
Chapter 20
Sasha pushed her way through her front door, her arms heavy laden with more work from the office. She barely got the door closed before the files slipped out of her fingers onto the floor.
“Dammit,” she yelled to the empty house.
She threw her briefcase to the floor and bent down to pick up the papers. It was Saturday and she had gone into the office for a few hours. Sasha grunted. Well it had started out as a few hours. It was after six now and she’d brought home several hours of work with her. She had to keep busy. If she didn’t then thoughts she’d rather not think about would intrude and she’d go back to the crying mess she’d been for days after ending things with Dylan.
Having picked all the papers up, she carried them into her kitchen and tossed them on the island. She’d taken to working down here instead of in her office upstairs. Memories of Dylan were all throughout her home but they were stronger there. She’d made a space for him to share her large desk. They’d sit across from
each other for hours working in silence until they’re fingers would brush or they’d look up and find the other watching them. Then work would be the last thing on their minds.
Sasha felt the burn of familiar tears at the back of her throat. She strengthened her resolve. She would not cry over this. She would not. It had been two weeks and she was going to get over him. The first fat drop hit her hand and all she could do was stare as it was quickly followed by another.
“Oh shit,” she cursed getting up to look for some tissues. She’d taken to hiding them all over the house because she never knew when the water works would start.
She’d found her stash in the pantry closet when her doorbell rang. She quickly blew her nose and wiped her eyes dry. God she hoped it was not Louis. Ever since the picture had run he’d become more and more amorous. Sasha had been ducking him for days.
“God if you’re listening please don’t let it be Louis.”
Sasha opened her door. A deep sigh left her body. God was having a good laugh at her expense today.
“Are you gonna invite me in?” B.J. asked.
“If I said no would you go away,” she asked blocking entry into her home. She’d been avoiding calls from her sister all week. She didn’t feel up to hearing any reminders of what a mess she’d gotten herself into. She could do that all on her own.
“No,” B.J. said standing her ground.
Another sigh left Sasha as she stepped back to allow her sister into her home. She walked back into the kitchen where she found her sister had already taken a seat at the island. B.J. was looking at the pile of folders she’s brought home from the office.