I snapped my head toward her. “He treats me fine.”
“No, he treats you like you’re his property.”
I knew she was referring to when Rico had walked me to her car. He’d sternly reminded me that I “betta not take my butt to that party.”
“He’s just upset because he has to leave, that’s all.” I’d filled her in on his announcement that he was moving back home to pursue his rap career.
“I don’t care,” Camille said. “Have you ever thought that maybe that’s why he doesn’t have a girlfriend on campus? Maybe he wants a young girl because he thinks he can control her.”
I rolled my eyes. “Camille, you’re getting way too deep. It’s not even like that. Can we talk about something else?” I’d decided no one would ever see eye to eye with me when it came to Rico, so I just left it alone.
“Fine,” Camille said.
She couldn’t stay stern for long, though. Pretty soon she started in on how her ex, Xavier, was begging to get back with her.
I half-listened for the rest of the twenty-minute ride to First Colony Mall, where Camille wanted to go find something to wear to the party tonight. I had some serious stuff on my mind. Rico’s news had blindsided me. What about me going to college? To PV with my friends? This man was talking about me picking up and moving away from everyone who mattered to me. I didn’t know anyone in Dallas. And what about Angelica? She hadn’t even met him. What if she didn’t like him?
I sighed heavily as I curled my cheek in my seat. I wished I could talk to Camille, but the conversation she wanted to have would only make me mad.
The mall was filled with people from my school, mostly seniors, who used Skip Day to hang out at the mall. Before I knew it, me and Camille were laughing, talking, cracking jokes on some of the crazy-looking people walking through the mall.
“Come on, I’m in the mood for some ice cream,” Camille said, pulling me toward the food court. She’d found herself a cute minidress in H&M. Watching her model the dress made me want to go to the party all over again, but I knew it would mean major drama later. I let Camille go ahead and think I was going, only because I didn’t want to hear her mouth the rest of the day.
We made our way over to the ice cream stand. Visions of butter pecan ice cream started dancing in my head, I wasn’t paying attention, and I bumped into Camille, who had stopped dead in her tracks.
“Hey, why are you stopping?” I asked.
“Ummm, isn’t that Angelica?” she asked, pointing toward the ice cream counter. I smiled when I noticed my daughter standing next to Marcus as he pointed to ice cream in the case. He really was a nice guy—as long as you didn’t get too close to him.
“I didn’t know they were coming to the mall,” I said. I was just about to call out to them when some long-legged girl with a short chestnut-brown bob reached down, scooped my daughter up, tickled her nose, then handed her an ice cream cone. Angelica giggled, then kissed her on the cheek.
“What in the world?” I muttered.
“It’s okay, Angel,” Camille whispered. “That’s probably his cousin or something. It’s no big deal.”
Usually, I would never have said a word, but the sight of this girl I didn’t even know tickling and playing with my little girl rubbed me the wrong way. I stomped toward them.
“Mommy!” Angelica said when she spotted me.
Marcus spun around. “Angel?” His eyes grew wide. “What’s up?” he asked when I came to a stop in front of them.
“Mommy Jen buy ice cream!” Angelica exclaimed, oblivious to the growing tension.
I seriously think my heart stopped for a minute. Mommy Jen?
“Oh, hi,” the girl said, sticking her hand out. “I’m Jen, Marcus’s girlfriend.”
So, not his cousin. I didn’t bother shaking her hand and instead turned to Marcus. “What’s going on?” I asked.
“Ain’t nothin’ goin’ on. We’re just hanging out at the mall,” he replied defensively.
I looked over at Jen, who was still holding Angelica. I wanted to snatch my daughter out of her hands. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I told Marcus.
Camille stood nervously behind me.
Marcus sighed, then stepped off to one side, an exasperated look across his face. “What, Angel?”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Who is this Jen girl?”
He sighed like I was bothering him. “It’s like she said, that’s my girlfriend.”
“Your girlfriend?” I repeated. Just hearing that was like a knife in my heart. I don’t know why. I mean, I was with Rico. Why did I care whether Marcus had a girlfriend? “When did you get a girlfriend?” I found myself asking.
He looked pained, like he really didn’t want to answer, but he finally said, “Ninth grade.”
I swear, I thought I was going to pass out. “Ninth grade? Like three years ago ninth grade?”
He shrugged like it was no big deal.
“Are you kidding me?” I was praying that he would just burst out laughing and say “sike” or something. The look on his face told me he was dead serious.
“Look, Angelica, I’m not gon’ do this with you.” He didn’t like controversy and people were starting to stare. “You wanted me in Angelica’s life. I’m there. I’m finally tryin’ to do right, and I don’t need you trippin’ with me.”
“So you cheated on me with her?” I asked.
“No, actually, I cheated on her with you,” he said. “But she’s forgiven me, and it’s all good.”
I couldn’t believe he was standing there in my face saying that.
“All good? Are you freakin’ kidding me?” I yelled.
“Hey, don’t loud talk me,” he hissed before looking around nervously. “I said, I’m not gonna do this drama with you.”
I had to hold back a sudden rush of tears. “How could you do this? You pretended you loved me and you were cheating on me all the time?” I cried. “No, I’m sorry, I was the chick on the side. Is this why you didn’t want to have anything to do with our daughter?”
He ran his hand over his face, then exhaled loudly. “Angel, I’m sorry. I wasn’t tryin’ to hurt you. I was just having fun and got caught up.”
Jen had walked over by one of the food court tables. I had to admit, she was pretty, with big doe eyes, long, wavy hair and a figure to die for. I couldn’t make out her race, but she reminded me of Eva Pigford from America’s Next Top Model. She hadn’t taken her eyes off us. Luckily, Camille was sitting at a table keeping Angelica occupied with her ice cream cone. I could tell it was taking everything in Jen’s power to keep from coming over to us.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
“Because I didn’t want you trippin’, talkin’ about I can’t see my daughter.”
Here I was, all this time thinking Marcus had come around because his mom was sick and wanted to spend time with her only grandchild. And even though I’d seen for myself that she was sick, now I couldn’t help but think that he’d wanted to do right because his stupid girlfriend had forgiven him for cheating.
“You had a girlfriend all this time?” I said again.
“It is what it is. I’m sorry.” He turned to walk off.
I grabbed his arm to stop him. “So that’s it?” I wiped my face, which was covered with tears.
“That’s it, Angel. I’m glad you know. Now, you need to get used to it, because Jen is my girl and she ain’t goin’ anywhere.” He took a deep breath. “In fact, Jen and I are getting married after graduation, so if you wanna know the truth, she’s gonna be Angelica’s stepmother.”
It felt like he punched me in the gut. Did what we had mean absolutely nothing to him? “You know what? You are a low-down dirty dog!”
“Why? Because I don’t want you?” he sneered.
That stung like crazy, too. “You don’t have to want me,” I snapped. “I have somebody who does. And for your information, I’m getting married, too,” I blurted out.
“Oh, so
now you’re getting married, too?” He laughed.
“Really, I am,” I said, wiggling my neck. “His name is Rico and he wants to be Angelica’s daddy, not her stepdaddy.”
The smile left his face as he glared at me. “I’m the only daddy she’ll ever have.”
“Please. She barely knows you.” I could tell I’d hurt him, because he’d really grown attached to Angelica. Good. He needed to hurt. Like I was hurting.
“You know what, Angel,” he said as he leaned in to me, “I’m not about to do this with you. You go be with your soon-to-be husband all you want. But he’ll never be my daughter’s father. Now, I’ve been giving you money, so I have just as much right to see my daughter as you, and whoever I want to have her around is my business.” He spun on his heel and stomped back over to his girlfriend. “Come on, Jen, let’s go.” He scooped Angelica up.
“Bye, Mommy!” Angelica waved.
I raced over to follow him. “Give me my baby,” I cried, tugging his arm.
“Angel, you need to chill!” he yelled, pushing me off him. By this point people were out-and-out staring, and one person was even pointing a camera phone at us, but I didn’t care. All I knew was that I wasn’t about to let him take Angelica off with this Jen girl.
“Angel, come on, don’t do this. This isn’t the time or place.”
I didn’t realize Camille had come up behind me. She was gently rubbing my back, trying to calm me down. My outburst must have upset Angelica because I saw her squirming to get down as Marcus carted her off.
“You’re scaring Angelica, and you don’t want that,” Camille added.
I stopped and tried to compose myself. She was right. And I still didn’t understand why I was acting like this. I watched Marcus and Jen disappear in the crowd with my daughter. “How can he do this?” I cried. “How can he take my baby and be with her?”
“Angel, where is this coming from? You don’t want Marcus.”
“I just feel so used. I messed up my whole high school time behind him and he was playing me?”
I slumped to the floor in tears, not caring about all the people staring. I used to tell myself that my having a baby wouldn’t have been so bad if Marcus had offered to marry me. I think that’s why I was hurting so bad. Not only had he never offered but he’s also acted like he hadn’t even liked me until recently. And now he was about to get married to someone else? I tried to steady my breathing. Forget this, I told myself. Marcus wasn’t the only one who could get married. I had someone who wanted me, so why was I sitting here losing my head over someone who didn’t?
No, I decided right then and there, if Marcus could get married, so could I.
24
Jasmine
Tonight was going to be the hardest night of my life. I was supposed to put aside the family drama, forget about all the fun my friends were having and focus all of my attention on this paper. Yeah, right.
But what choice did I have? I’d taken the “high road,” as my granny always says, and I was suffering because of it. All my friends were probably having the time of their lives right now.
I had just tried to refocus on my paper when my brother Jaheim came bouncing in the room. He had a raggedy portable CD player on his shoulder, and the music was blasting T.I.’s “Big Things Poppin’.”
“Would you turn that down?” I yelled. “You see I’m trying to study! And get out of my room!”
He put the CD player down on the floor, then did some spinning break-dance move.
“Why are you in here messin’ with me?” I said through gritted teeth.
Jaheim kept dancing as he said, “Well, you know, you’re missin’ the senior party and everything. I just thought I’d bring a little bit of the party to you.” He laughed like he had said something funny.
I looked around for something to throw at him. I picked up my English book and sent it hurling at his head. He ducked, grabbed his CD player and raced out of the room.
“I was just trying to help you!” he screamed on his way out. “That’s why you’re stuck in here working while all your friends are partying—because you’re dumb!”
“Shut up and leave me alone!” I screamed back.
He yelled something else that I couldn’t make out. I was about to yell something back when my grandmother appeared in the doorway.
“What in the Sam Hill is going on here?” she said, using one of her old corny lines. One of these days I was going to ask her who Sam Hill was, but now wasn’t the time.
“Jaheim is in here messin’ with me and I’m about to beat him down!”
He reappeared behind my grandmother’s back. “You gon’ get beat down!” he yelled, jumping over my grandmother’s shoulder. I knew he was just acting bad, because he knew our granny wouldn’t let me hurt him. And we both knew I could hurt him.
“What y’all doing all this shoutin’ for?” she asked.
“Tell Jaheim to leave me alone. I’m tryin’ to get this paper done.”
She was puzzled, because I knew how Jaheim was. “Baby, whatcha getting so worked up for?”
“Because he makes me sick!” I snapped.
“Don’t say that about your brother.”
I was about to fire back, but I decided to let it drop. My mom and my granny would force me to kiss and hug my siblings to make up when we were arguing, and if I had to put my mouth anywhere near my bratty brother, I probably would bite his ear off.
“Jaheim, get in there and take that garbage out,” she ordered.
He grumbled as he walked off, but for a change, my grandmother ignored him and instead turned to me.
“Jasmine, you too old to be fighting with your little brother.”
“Well, I’m tryin’ to finish this paper.” I pouted as I plopped back down on my bed. “And he just comes in rubbing it in my face about the party.”
She leaned up against my dresser and folded her arms across her chest. “That’s what this is all about? You want to go to that party?”
“Of course I want to go to the party,” I said. “It’s our senior party, the once-in-a-lifetime party, and I have to miss it to do schoolwork.”
“You shouldn’t be so dumb!” my brother shouted from down the hall.
“Jaheim, hush yo’ mouth before you get me mad!” my grandmother yelled back. She turned her attention back to me. “Jasmine, baby, what’s more important, that party or you getting a good grade in this class?”
I didn’t answer. Of course I knew which one was more important, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to be at the party.
“If you had done what you were supposed to do in the first place, then you could’ve been at the party, but you didn’t,” she said softly. “So now you need to deal with the repercussions. And that means getting your mind right and focusing on what’s really important. Think about it this way. There will be plenty of parties in college.” She leaned in and whispered, “And there won’t be any mamas around to tell you whether you can go or not.”
That brought a smile to my face.
“But the thing is, you gotta get into college to experience that freedom. Otherwise, you gon’ be stuck right here with me, your mama, Jaheim, and Jalen—and Nikki, since it don’t seem like she ever goin’ nowhere.”
That thought wiped the smile right off my face.
“If that there ain’t motivation enough for you to get your act together and finish this paper, well, I don’t know what is.”
She couldn’t have broken it down any better. “You’re right, Granny,” I said. “Let me get to work.”
“I know I’m right.” She patted my head like she used to do when I was a little girl. “Now, you stay in here until you get that paper finished. I’ll bring your dinner in and I’ll make sure them worrisome brothers of yours don’t bother you.”
“Thank you, Granny.”
Her face lit up with a big smile. “Oh, baby, you know I’m doin’ it because I love you, but I also know you’re gonna become rich and take care of your
grandmother one day.” I wasn’t sure if she was just joking or what, but I did know that nothing would make me happier than to be able to take care of my grandmother.
“My grandbaby is going to college,” she said, more to herself than to me. Then she closed the door.
My grandmother left me with a good feeling. I knew what I had to do. I turned the TV off, flipped open Alexis’s laptop, which she’d let me use, and focused all my attention on writing why I should go to college.
25
Jasmine
Here you go.” I set my essay square on the desk and stood over Mrs. Stafford, a huge smile on my face. Not that I expected that I had written the bomb paper, but I was proud that I’d gotten it done—on my own. I hadn’t finished until almost two o’clock this morning, but the bottom line was, I’d finished!
“So you made it?” she said, picking it up and thumbing through the ten pages.
“Did you ever doubt I would?” I boasted.
She gave me a do-you-really-want-me-to-answer-that look, then flipped to the back page. “Umph, documentation, bibliography, sources cited, good job, Miss Jones.”
I beamed proudly. Even though Alexis had let me use her laptop to finish the paper, I didn’t have a printer, so I’d emailed it to her, and she’d printed it out to bring to me this morning.
Mrs. Stafford set the paper down. “I know this wasn’t easy. But I also knew that you were capable of doing it.” She peered over the top of her wire-rimmed glasses. “I knew it even when you didn’t.”
“Well, I’m just thankful that you gave me another chance,” I said appreciatively. “I’m not sure what you’ll think of it, but I did my best.”
She flashed a genuine smile. “I don’t doubt that you did.”
The bell rang, my signal to leave for my first class. “Thanks again, I gotta get going.”
“Miss Jones,” she said, stopping me just as I was turning to head to the door. “I know you’re anxious to get your grade on this paper, so I’ll have it for you by Monday.”
“Thank you.” I smiled again before racing off to my class. I felt so good about overcoming all the drama I’d been through this past week and getting the paper done. As tempted as I had been to take Cassandra up on her offer, the more I thought about it, the more I realized it felt good doing it myself. Doing the right thing was its own reward. Miss Rachel always said that, and I would kinda blow her off. But now I knew exactly what she meant.
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