by Adrian, Lara
She turned her head on the pillow and was sickened to catch the sharp metallic stench of dried blood in her hair. The ends of the long tresses were stiff and matted, reeking of death.
The blood was real, not imagined.
Not a dream.
“No!” She shot upright on the mattress in her bra and panties, pawing at her hair in abject horror and revulsion. “Oh, no… No!”
Warm hands came to rest on her shoulders. Calm permeated her panic, and she realized it was Zael’s touch on her now, his deep voice at her ear as he came to sit beside her on the bed. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe, Brynne.”
“No.” She was shaking, her heart banging inside her rib cage. “It’s not okay.”
Breaking out of his light hold, she scrambled to the edge of the mattress. Her stomach roiled with disgust for what she’d done.
For what Zael must have seen.
She felt naked, exposed. Sick with herself for countless reasons, including the fact that he was looking at her with a sympathy and understanding that she didn’t deserve.
“My clothes…”
“They were ruined,” he said. “I took them off you so you’d be more comfortable.”
Frowning, she glanced at the closed door that sealed her inside the room with him. She didn’t remember returning. She didn’t remember anything after the blinding explosion of light that had filled her head. “How did I…?”
“I brought you back from Georgetown with me,” he answered as he rose to his feet beside her. “As for the rest, I told Tavia and everyone else that I found you in the alley unconscious. I told them I guessed you must’ve fainted after your struggle with a Rogue.”
“Fainted.” She scoffed quietly, gesturing to his hands. “I saw your palms glowing. You zapped me with them. You knocked me out.”
He stared at her, a flicker of remorse in his eyes. There was still a combativeness inside her that flared at the thought of being overpowered by anyone—even if her behavior invited it. But it was difficult to hold on to her anger toward Zael, knowing she had left him little choice but to defend himself.
He could have done anything to her in that alley tonight after he’d subdued her with his light, even kill her. Instead he brought her back to the shelter of the command center. He’d sat with her while she slept. Now he stood here offering comfort when she wouldn’t blame him if he wanted nothing to do with her ever again.
Instead of turning away from her in fear or abhorrence, he had looked after her. Protected her. And he still was.
“You lied to my sister and the Order for me.”
He stepped toward her. “I thought you’d want to explain to them yourself. When you’re ready.”
“No. I’m never going to tell them. They’ll never look at me the same way again.”
The idea of allowing anyone else to know what she truly was sent a shudder through her. She had protected this secret all her life, keeping herself isolated, devoting herself to her work because it was the only thing she could hold on to. The only thing she had.
But now there was Zael.
She hated that he’d seen her as she had been in that alley.
As kind as he was treating her, she couldn’t delude herself into thinking he would ever forget what she was. For his own safety and her peace of mind, she hoped he would finally stay away for good.
Yet he only drew nearer.
When she pushed some of the blood-stiffened strands of hair from her face, he gently caught her hand. Shook his head slowly as he threaded his fingers through hers.
“Come with me, Brynne.”
He led her into the en suite bathroom, leaving her only long enough to turn on the water in the large shower.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, reaching around her to unfasten her bra.
She wanted to protest his careful treatment of her, but her need for comforting overrode all of her old defenses. She was miserable and distressed, and so very tired. Tired of the hiding. Tired of the loneliness.
Her bra fell away. Zael reached for her panties and slid them over her hips, down her thighs, then bent to help her step out of them completely. This wasn’t about sex, and yet she could not keep her body from responding to every light touch of his fingers, from the clean, enticing scent of him as he stood close enough that she could feel the heat of his skin.
Her dermaglyphs began to darken with color as her desire awakened. She had never been ashamed of the part of her that was Breed. But she was Ancient, too, and because of that she brought her hands up to cover herself as her markings deepened, their colors flickering over her skin.
“No,” he murmured. “You don’t hide from me anymore. Not after tonight.”
She swallowed as he drew her hands away and placed them at her sides. “Zael…”
Without another word, he walked her toward the open door of the shower. She stepped in, grateful for the wet heat of the spray. At her back, she heard Zael moving, taking off his clothes too. He walked into the shower behind her, his presence making a new heat travel down her spine.
She sighed with bone-weary pleasure as he silently gathered her tangled hair behind her, then turned her to face him under the water. Red rivulets spiraled around their feet as the blood rinsed away and ran down the drain. Wordlessly, Zael reached for a bottle of shampoo and squirted some into his palm. He washed the rest of the foulness from her hair, his fingers combing through the tangles, then guided her forehead against his shoulder as he massaged the fragrant suds into her scalp and worked the knotted tension from her nape.
No one—not in all her life—had ever taken such care with her.
That Zael would do so now, after everything he saw in her tonight, humbled her in ways she could never express.
As if he understood the depth of her weariness and her gratitude, he lifted her chin and tenderly stroked her cheek. “Tilt your head back, love.”
The endearment made the tender spot in her chest tighten even more. She did as he instructed, tipping her head under the spray to wash the shampoo from her hair. It was impossible not to notice how her naked breasts brushed the smooth muscles of his chest. Her nipples hardened as he ran his fingers through her wet hair, rinsing away the suds with one hand and holding her steady with the other palm splayed at the small of her back.
When her hair was clean, he soaped her body with equal care, taking his time, massaging every inch of her with slick, strong fingers and careful hands. Brynne wanted to weep for the gift he was giving her. Not only the physical comfort of his touch and attention, but the far bigger gift of his trust.
His unquestioning confidence.
She closed her eyes under the blissful sensation of his hands moving wetly on her body, stroking away all of her fatigue.
“I was twenty before I realized what I was.”
Her voice sounded rusty, her words muffled under the hiss of the spray. When her lids lifted, she found Zael’s bright blue gaze locked on her. He had set the soap back on its shelf and now sluiced warm water over her arms and down the wet planes of her torso.
“I never knew my parents.” She laughed brittly at the term, frowning as she recalled the circumstances of her birth. “Does a lab experiment even have parents?”
Zael stilled now, studying her. Waiting for her to find the words.
“I was one of many…offspring that came out of a laboratory run by a madman named Dragos. He was trying to create an army, one bred to his exact specifications and needs.” She shook her head. “He had the last living Ancient under his control in his lab. And he had Breedmates. Dozens of them, all held captive like animals in his breeding program’s cages.”
Zael’s expelled curse was low, and utterly profane. “I know enough about the name Dragos to be thankful the bastard has been dead these past twenty years. But I didn’t know this, Brynne.”
She managed a faint shrug, even though her senses cringed at the recollection of all that Dragos had done. “His lab had been operating for decades
before the Order killed him. He used the Ancient and the Breedmates to produce scores of homegrown assassins called Hunters. And because that program was so successful, Dragos began another one. But instead of breeding offspring through conventional means, he decided to start playing with DNA.”
Zael said nothing, and for a long while the only sound was the quiet hiss of the shower.
“He tinkered and he refined, and eventually he produced the first Breed females. Many of the subjects didn’t take. But a few—like Tavia and me and a small number of others—made it to adulthood.”
Zael frowned. “So, then, are you saying that Tavia… That besides being a daywalker, she’s…like you?”
“More monster than Breed? No.” Brynne chuckled humorlessly, having heard the hope in his careful voice. “She doesn’t know anything about what I am. As far as I know, I’m the only one whose DNA recipe got fucked up. Too much Ancient in my Petri dish and not enough humanity. I should’ve never made it out of the lab. I was a mistake. Dragos should’ve put me down. He seemed to enjoy trying, once he realized what he’d created. But it’s not easy to kill a monster, even one that’s only a child. Pain subsides. Wounds heal. He made a game out of it, trying to test my limits, seeing what I could withstand while he kept me drugged and restrained. The things he did to me…” She let the thought trail off, unwilling to revisit the worst of her imprisonment and abuse in the lab. “When I grew too old and too strong for his games, he put me in confinement and left me there.”
Zael’s growl sounded more than menacing, but his touch was achingly light on her face. “How long?”
She shrugged. “Years. I didn’t find my way out until after the Order had killed him and the Minions guarding the lab died too.”
“Minions he’d made,” Zael guessed. “And when their maker died, so did they.”
“Yes. Many of Dragos’s prisoners escaped that day. I broke out of my cell and I ran. I just kept running. Eventually, I landed in London. I started a new life there.”
“What about Tavia? Was she a prisoner with you?”
Brynne shook her head. “She told me she was sent to live with a Minion handler from the time she was a child. She was lied to, told nothing of what she was. Dragos ensured her Breed metabolism was suppressed with medications and her handler made her believe she needed the treatments because she was ill.”
“Does she know what happened to you in the lab?”
“No.” God, just the thought made her cringe with humiliation. “I let her think that I was in the same program she was. It seemed easier that way. Easier for me to keep living the lie I chose, not the one Dragos forced on me.”
Zael studied her soberly. “Sooner or later, don’t you think you’ll have to tell her the truth?”
“And watch her shrink away from me in fear for herself and everyone she cares about?” Brynne couldn’t bite back the strangled sound of anguish that bubbled in the back of her throat. “She would hate me for lying to her all this time, Zael. But not before I see her pity for what Dragos made me. He would’ve done me a favor if he had just taken my head and finally ended me.”
“Don’t say that,” Zael whispered fiercely. “Don’t even think it.”
“It’s true. You saw for yourself tonight. I’m a monster, Zael.” She astonished herself by how evenly she was able to say the words to him. Words she’d never spoken before. Not to anyone. Not ever. “Every time I feed, I lose a part of who I am. And if I don’t feed, if I delay it because I can’t stand what I become, then it’s only worse when I finally do give in. If I feel threatened, or if I’m overcome with anger, it’s the same thing. I can’t control it.”
“What if you took a mate? One from the Breed.”
Her head snapped up at that. To hear him suggest it pricked at her, even if it was a reasonable question.
“Never,” she said, appalled by the very idea. “How could I expect someone to share my life when I can’t be certain I won’t end up hurting them? Or worse?”
He ran his fingers down the side of her arm, his eyes searching hers. “Wouldn’t a blood bond with a Breed male help you cope? I’m no expert on that, but I understand the bond strengthens both of the individuals it connects.”
“And if it doesn’t in my case? The blood bond didn’t make the Ancients less monstrous. It didn’t keep some of the worst of their kind from killing their mates.” She vehemently shook her head. “I tried to tell you, Zael. I’m alone for a reason. By my own choice.”
His hand came up to cup her cheek. “You didn’t hurt me tonight.”
She gave him a wry look. “Only because you hit me with a dose of Atlantean electric shock treatment before I had the chance.”
He didn’t as much as smile at her attempt at levity. “I shouldn’t have done it. Using my power like that was a risk I never should’ve taken.” He stared at her, his expression serious. “And if I hurt you, Brynne—”
“You didn’t.” She pressed her hand to his cheek. “You didn’t hurt me. You helped me.”
His frown eased only a degree. “That’s all I wanted. I could see you were hurting, and I had to help you through it if I could.” He reached around her and cut off the water. “I wasn’t going to leave your side.”
She stared into his brilliant blue eyes, struck by his tender words and his patient care with her. How was he able to exasperate her with his overbearing cockiness and refusal to leave her alone, yet make her heart twist with yearning at the same time?
Now that the noise of the shower was silenced, she was achingly aware of the fast, heavy pound of her pulse. Standing so close to Zael, she heard his heartbeat too. She couldn’t resist placing her hand against the bronze-skinned, corded strength of his chest.
He touched her, too, brushing his fingertips over one nipple, then the other, his caress light, undemanding. A rush of arousal streaked through her, and he responded with a low, approving growl in the back of his throat.
His cock had been erect since he’d entered the shower with her, but now it surged even harder in the narrow space between their naked bodies.
“I’m afraid, Zael.” It was apparently a night for first admissions, because these were further words she had never said to anyone before in her life. “You scare me. You have from the very first day I saw you.”
He lifted her chin, holding her gaze as he lowered his mouth to hers. His kiss seared her senses, despite its gentleness. It answered all of her fears, more than any words could.
She’d never had someone take care of her the way he had tonight. She didn’t know she could enjoy someone’s touch like this, or need someone’s comfort so profoundly.
No, not just someone.
Just this man.
Only Zael.
And, yes, that scared her.
It terrified her, how deeply she was beginning to care for him.
He cupped her face in his broad hand and she turned into his palm, pressing her lips to the center of it, the spot that had been glowing earlier tonight. Her tongue darted out to taste him and he growled, low and deep and primal.
It was all the warning he gave her before he swept her off her feet and up into his arms.
With her hair dripping and their bodies still wet from the shower, he strode into the bedroom with her.
CHAPTER 23
Brynne was light in his arms, her face nestled against his chest as Zael carried her out to the bedroom. He held her close, hoping she couldn’t feel the fury that was coursing through him after hearing what she had suffered at the hands of the man who made her.
He seethed over those other things she didn’t say.
Abuse so heinous she didn’t—or could not—put it into words. But it had been evident enough on her tormented face. Whatever had been done to her physically had left no traces on her body. Her advanced metabolism would have taken care of that. It was the other scars she carried inside that had obviously wounded her far worse.
Zael wanted to roar with his rage over what she had endured.
Never again. Not so long as he was alive to stop it would she ever know pain or mistreatment.
She would never have to be alone, locked in a prison of her own making because of fear for what she was.
It was a ridiculous promise for him to make even to himself—and all the more so when he knew his actions in the alley may have jeopardized everything. Using his power in the open as he had was tantamount to broadcasting his location to every Atlantean around the globe. His kind were all connected by the light within them. It was their strength as a people, but for fugitives like Zael, it was also a weakness that could have led his enemies right to him tonight.
But the need to help Brynne had eclipsed any risk to himself.
They had made it out of the city despite his carelessness, and she was safe.
So long as he drew breath, she would always be safe. He swore it with every fiber of his being as he brought her to the edge of the bed and carefully placed her there.
He thought she would lie back, but instead she came up on her knees in front of him as he stood at the edge of the bed. Unable to keep from touching her, from kissing her, he cupped the back of her neck beneath the tendrils of her damp hair and brought her mouth up to meet his.
She tasted even sweeter tonight, her vulnerability twining with the sexy strength that had attracted him to her from the start.
That she had trusted him with her past humbled him. It made the connection he felt toward her deepen, despite old habits that not so long ago would have urged him to get out while he could.
Too late for that and he knew it. He was in deep with this woman. And the baffling thing was, he couldn’t think of anywhere else he wanted to be.
When he lifted his head from her lips, she was staring up at him with searching eyes. Although fire simmered within her dark green irises, he saw hesitancy in her gaze.
“You still want me?” Her voice sounded so small and uncertain, it raked at him. “After everything you saw tonight? After everything I told you?”
His lips curved with the arching of his brow. “Isn’t it obvious?”
He could hardly hide how much he wanted her. His arousal had been achingly evident from the moment he first stepped into the shower with her. It had taken all of his self-control to simply comfort and listen to her as he lathered her beautiful body and held her in his embrace. But she had needed his understanding in those moments more than anything else he had to give her.