by Adrian, Lara
Each sip she took from his vein streaked into her system like liquid fire, awakening her every nerve, fiber and cell. She couldn’t get enough. Drinking from him made her feel as though she’d been dying of thirst for centuries and was only just coming to life for the first time.
He had done this for her—awakened her, brought her to life. Dragged her out of the shadows and into a brilliant, irresistible new light.
He’d done all of that for her from the moment they met.
Now this.
His blood would live inside her forever. That bond was unbreakable. It settled on her so profoundly, she wanted to weep with the power of it. Wherever either of them went now, together or apart, she would always feel him. She would know his joy and sadness and every pain.
But in a troubled corner of her conscience, she also knew that if the day should come that he looked at her in all her monstrous worst and felt regret for this moment—for having brought her into his life, she would feel that too.
Right now, all she felt was his love.
Her heart overflowing, she licked her tongue over the punctures her fangs had made, sealing the wound. Zael’s arms were warm and strong around her as she lifted her head to look at him. He held her in a sober, unblinking stare. His blue eyes had never seemed so dark or so solemn.
For a moment—one terrible, brief moment—she worried that she would see doubt in his handsome face. Or worse, the beginnings of the revulsion she dreaded might one day come.
But the bond told her something different. So did Zael, as he tightened his hold on her and flipped her beneath him on the bed.
His mouth came down on hers in a kiss so primal and raw, it nearly unraveled her on the spot. He was wild with passion now, and she felt every measure of it in the bond that now linked her to him.
“Oh God, Zael.” Her voice was little more than a broken, panting sigh.
It was all she could manage. She had neither breath nor voice as he spread her out and began a fevered exploration of her body with his lips and wicked tongue.
Her pleasure exploded now that it was combined with his. The blood connection to him multiplied her ecstasy, and the power of her desire twined with his was almost too much to bear. She arced off the mattress as his mouth latched on to her clit. Hot and wet and relentless, his tongue licked and sucked and teased her swollen bud. When his finger slid inside her sheath and began to thrust in time with his mouth’s torment, she spiraled toward a pleasure she could not contain.
Her orgasm crashed over her like a tidal wave. It swept her high and left her shattered, totally at his mercy.
And he gave her none.
She was still soaring, every nerve ending electrified and vibrating with bliss, as he prowled up the length of her body, then entered her on a low snarl of possession. He drove deep, deeper than she thought possible. Her head tipped back on a gasp, her hands fisting in the sheets as he rolled his hips, hard and fast and claiming.
“Look at me, love.” His rough command brought her searing gaze back to him. “Watch me take you. Know that you’re mine. Tell me you feel it.”
“Yes, I’m yours. I feel it, Zael.” She stared up into his eyes, swamped with pleasure and emotion. And so much love. It filled her with a growing, powerful light. His light, inside of her now. “Oh God, Zael. I feel…everything.”
“Show me.” His gaze burned with intensity as he pushed her higher, ever higher. “Let me feel it too, Brynne. Let me taste it, right now.”
She frowned, uncertain she understood. Afraid to hope.
But the truth was there in his eyes. It was in the emotional connection she had to him now—the one he was asking her to complete with him. He wanted this. He wanted her bond.
Would he want it when she was at her worst?
The question scraped at her coldly. Yes, he had seen her in the throes of blood thirst. He knew what she became then.
But to feel it in his own blood? To know the savagery that filled her when she was less Breed than monster?
Bonding him to her meant bonding him to everything she was, including the part of her that was Ancient. How could he ever look at her with desire—or with any kind of affection—if she let him take that hideous part of her into his own soul?
The fear that he would regret it made her veins freeze up.
The very thought that he might one day look at her in revulsion or loathing was too much for her to bear. Especially now, when he was holding her so lovingly, making her wish for things she could never have.
“Zael, no.” Extricating herself from his embrace, she pushed away from him and scrambled to the edge of the bed.
“What’s wrong?”
The concern in his deep voice made her wince in misery. When his hand came to rest gently on her shoulder, she flinched. Stood up abruptly and moved out of his reach.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t do this. Neither should you. Please… You should go.”
“Go?” So much confusion in that one word.
He got up from the bed and walked toward her. His face was drawn with bewilderment, and with tender affection. Seeing his care for her now only reinforced the dread that if she let things go any further with him, that love would turn to disgust.
“I can’t do this, Zael. Drinking from you was a mistake.”
“It sure as hell didn’t feel like a mistake to me,” he shot back, anger overtaking his disbelief. “It felt right. And I know you felt it too.”
She shook her head. “I can’t do this, Zael. Not here. Not now. We shouldn’t even risk being together until after the alliance is decided. You said that yourself.”
“Fuck the alliance.” His reply exploded out of him, his voice clipped and harsh. “This is about you and me, Brynne. Nothing else matters to me.”
“Not even the colony?”
She knew it did. And if he tried to deny it, she could see that he knew she’d call him on the lie. She had only been on the island for a few hours and she could plainly see that for all of his wandering, this place and its people had been his only semblance of home. His infrequent returns and brief stays hadn’t diminished the fact that for most of his immortal life, the people here had been the closest thing to family he’d ever had.
He would never truly turn his back on them, and she would never belong here.
No matter the outcome of the alliance they had been entrusted to make happen.
“I shouldn’t have taken your blood, Zael. It was selfish. The most selfish thing I’ve ever done. I can’t let you make it worse by shackling yourself to me too.”
“Are you joking?”
His anger and confusion had now hardened into pain. She felt it vibrate in her veins as he stepped closer to her. She retreated deeper into the shadows of the small room.
“Zael, please… I want you to go.”
“Brynne.” He reached out to her.
“Go!” It was the beast that lived inside her that shouted the command at him.
She felt her nails harden into black talons as her misery morphed into desperate fury. Her skin prickled with the eruption of her alien dermaglyphs, the tangled patterns rising to the surface to cover most of her body.
Zael stood motionless, his handsome face unreadable. But she could feel his reaction in his blood. It wasn’t fear or anger. It was pity.
She steeled herself to the hurt. “Please. Just go.”
She turned away as he slowly retrieved his clothes and put them on, knowing if she watched him start to walk away from her, she might be tempted to call him back.
He didn’t make her suffer the waiting for long.
The room lit up with a sudden blast of light.
Then he was gone.
CHAPTER 33
Brynne didn’t sleep at all that night.
Her own misery would have been enough to keep her lying awake until the soft light of dawn began to fill the small cottage, but she also knew Zael’s restlessness through her bond to him.
He was as unhappy as she wa
s. But he was angry too. He was confused and hurt.
Because of her.
Because she was too weak to admit what she wanted—him, as her forever mate—and too scared to believe he could ever look past the abomination that she was.
He had gotten an irrefutable reminder of that in the moments before he’d left her.
Self-directed rage had brought her monster out in all of its hissing, lethal worst. He’d seen it, and he had felt sorry for her. She’d felt his pity. The sting of it still burned like acid in her throat…and in her heart.
Maybe he finally understood just how impossible any kind of future would be for them. Maybe seeing her like that again was just what he’d needed to admit that she was right. They were from two different worlds, and although she’d never had much to call her own and even less to return to now, he had everything waiting for him here at the colony.
The last thing she wanted to do was jeopardize that for him by shackling him to her through a blood bond.
Even if pushing him away had felt as though it were killing her inside.
She couldn’t deny that a shameful part of her had hoped he might return to the cottage and demand another chance to convince her.
Nor could she pretend that she wasn’t disappointed when the knock came on her door that morning and she found Neriah waiting there, instead of Zael.
“Hi, Brynne.” The girl smiled cheerfully in greeting. “The council is going to be meeting soon. Zael’s on his way there now. He asked me to come and fetch you, if you’re ready?”
“Oh.” He was already there. Already adjusting to the distance she’d insisted upon. She schooled her expression into one of pure professionalism, even though an ache was tearing open inside her. “Of course, I’m ready. Let’s go.”
She barely registered Neriah’s bubbly chatter as they walked up the cobbled street to the council chamber building. Her steps felt heavy, her heart pounding rapidly in anticipation of seeing Zael again after the terrible way she’d ended things with him.
He waited inside alone, facing the vacant dais. His stance was rigid and somber, his tall, muscular frame clothed in a fresh white linen tunic and pants, his burnished mane of golden hair still damp and curling at the ends from a recent shower.
Every cell in Brynne’s body lit up at the sight of him, her senses evidently unaware of just how stupid she’d been in pushing him away. He wasn’t hers now—after yesterday, maybe not ever again—but her body didn’t seem to recognize that.
Nor did her blood.
Her veins throbbed as she watched him go utterly still when he realized she was there. She felt the spike in his heart rate, too, as he pivoted slowly to watch her as Neriah took a seat near the back of the chamber and Brynne approached him at the dais.
“The council’s delayed,” he informed her, his tone level, even though his gaze was heavy with all the words he wouldn’t say. “I’m told they should be here soon.”
“Do you think something’s wrong?”
He shrugged. “It probably took some extra time for all of the elders to reach an agreement.”
As they waited a few minutes in awkward, uncomfortable silence, she couldn’t keep from recalling Tamisia’s hard stare in the courtyard, or the skepticism she had expressed toward the prospect of the alliance.
That concern only deepened as the council of elders appeared from an adjacent room and began to file into the chamber to take their seats. None of the six revealed anything in their expressions, but Tamisia would not even look at Zael or Brynne.
Nethilos called the meeting to order.
“I apologize for the delay,” he announced. “The council has been discussing your proposal for the past couple of hours. I’m sure you realize there is much at stake in this decision.”
Zael nodded soberly. “I do, my friend. Brynne and I both realize that.”
Nethilos’s brow drew together. “This council had been prepared to give you our agreement today. However, we received new information just moments ago. Troubling information that we cannot ignore.”
Brynne felt Zael’s blood run a bit colder in his veins. Hers did, too, her veins freezing over in dread as she glanced at Tamisia and saw her drop her gaze to her lap as Nethilos continued to speak.
“You lied to me, Zael. You lied to this council when you neglected to tell us that you and this Breed female are lovers.”
Oh, God. Brynne briefly closed her eyes, her heart sinking.
“We have a witness who reported seeing you together at the cottage,” Nethilos went on. “This witness saw her drinking your blood, Zael.”
Brynne felt sick. Guilt and alarm flooded her, along with Zael’s sharp stab of shock. She felt the clawing sharpness of his dread…and the bite of his rising fury.
“Was it you, Sia?” His demand rumbled with outrage. “Damn it, did you do this?”
She glanced up now, her beautiful face stark as she shook her head. “No. I swear it.”
Nethilos rose from his seat. “There will be no alliance. There cannot be, not under the terms you’ve proposed, Zael. Not while your loyalty appears to be swayed toward the Breed and the Order.”
“What are you saying?”
Another of the elders, Baramael, the male with the bicolored eyes, fixed a disapproving look on Zael. “The colony needs insurance that you will act on our behalf—in our best interests—should the Order one day come to us for our help in standing against Selene.”
“And especially if they come to us for our crystal,” added Anaphiel. She had seemed the most amenable to the alliance during the first meeting, but now the soft-spoken black Atlantean female looked at Brynne and Zael in obvious mistrust.
“You say insurance,” Zael murmured. “What does that mean?”
Nethilos glanced to his colleagues before he spoke. “The council has decided that the only way we can enter this alliance with the Order is under one condition. That is if you agree to remain behind at the colony.”
“For how long?”
Zael’s question hung in the sudden quiet of the chamber. He looked at Brynne, and she had never felt so anguished or alone. She had pushed him away yesterday, but she hadn’t really felt she’d lost him forever until right now.
He knew it too.
His blood hammered with the understanding of what he was being asked to do.
“You mean indefinitely,” he replied woodenly. “Stay here at the colony for the rest of my life.”
Nethilos inclined his head in a grave nod. “That is this council’s decision, Zael. There will be no alliance without your commitment to our terms.”
CHAPTER 34
When he arrived in the council chamber that morning, Zael had been prepared to walk away from it all. Away from his people, and away from the only place he considered home.
After Brynne had pushed him out of the cottage yesterday—out of her life, he’d feared—it had forced him to examine his aimless, long-lived existence. More to the point, it had forced him to consider an interminable future without her.
What he had concluded was that a life without her was no life he wanted to endure.
And if that meant following her to the ends of the Earth to convince her of that, he damned well intended to do it.
But he’d been wrong when he said the alliance between the Breed and the colony didn’t matter to him. It did. Because without the potential of peace—without the assurance that Selene would not be able to have the war she seemed so determined to ignite—Zael knew that no one he cared for would ever be safe.
Not him. Not the people of the colony. Not the Breed or the Order or anyone else who should be unfortunate enough to stand in the way of the Atlantean queen’s vengeance.
And, most important of all, not Brynne.
As he’d paced most of the night in the confines of the home he kept on the island, he understood that above all else, the alliance had to happen. No matter the price.
He sure as hell hadn’t anticipated this.
“You can give the council your answer whenever you’re ready, Zael.”
At Nethilos’s proclamation, the rest of the elders stood, then followed him out of the chamber.
Brynne stood motionless as they left. Utterly silent. He wasn’t even certain she was breathing.
“Are you okay?” he asked her, his concern focused wholly on her despite the endless ramifications of what had just occurred. “Brynne, talk to me…”
“This is all my fault.” Her words were toneless, but the sob she choked back was ragged with emotion. “Zael, I’m so sorry. I told you what we did yesterday was a mistake. Now, I’ve ruined everything.”
“No. Not you. Don’t think that. We both were in that bed together.”
He wanted to reach out and stroke his thumb over her quivering lips. His fingers itched to sweep away the lone tear that slid down the side of her lovely, guilt-stricken face. But he didn’t know if she would want his comfort now.
And until he found a way to fix everything that had just gone wrong, he had no assurances or promises to give her.
As for the council, he didn’t need to delay another moment.
He had his answer for them.
He only had to convince them to accept it.
“Stay here,” he told Brynne. “I need to find Nethilos and talk to him privately.”
At her nod, Zael dashed out of the chamber. He ran to his friend’s personal office in the council building, but the elder was nowhere to be seen.
As Zael stepped out, Tamisia nearly crashed into him in the passageway.
He could barely contain his rage. “Get out of my way, Sia. If you know what’s good for you, get as far away from me as you can right now.”
“Zael, I’m sorry.” Her face collapsed in what appeared to be a damned good imitation of remorse. “I didn’t know.”
He halted, too suspicious to ignore her, no matter how viciously he vibrated with the need to explode. To rage. To punish.
But he couldn’t blame anyone for how he felt about Brynne.
He couldn’t condemn the council for their decision to disapprove of what he felt for her—even if that decision held the power to destroy his life.