by Adrian, Lara
Aric wasn’t far behind her. He couldn’t slow the thundering onslaught of his climax. It exploded out of him, a knot of pure heat blazing a scalding path through every fiber of his being before erupting in a fevered stream inside the haven of Kaya’s body.
For several moments, he kept thrusting, convulsions racking him as the waves of pleasure and staggering release finally ebbed. But he was still hungry for her. Still in need of the woman who clung to him, her long legs still wrapped around him, holding him inside her.
“What have you done to me, Kaya?”
Braced on his elbows above her, Aric slowed his rhythm to let her catch her breath. Her heart was racing. He could feel the power of it vibrating against him, tempting the other hunger he refused to indulge.
Yet that didn’t keep his amber-soaked gaze from drifting to the pulse point that pounded just beneath his mouth. Her carotid hammered, a beat he heard in his ears and temples. One that echoed in the hard throb of his own veins.
He kissed her once more, lost to the feel of her all over again.
Had he really thought he could screw this woman out of his system? It would take a lifetime of trying, and even then he felt certain he was destined to fail. He still wanted her. He loved her.
Even if she had secrets. Even if there was a part of her he might never be able to reach.
His fangs filled his mouth, gums aching as the sharp points surged in anticipation of their own reward. In the back of his mind, a selfish part of him whispered that all it would take was one small sip of Kaya’s blood and he would know all of her.
The bond would connect him to her deepest emotions, including whatever it was that put those impenetrable shadows in her eyes.
One taste and he would feel her in his veins forever.
Hell, he was halfway there already, even without shackling her to him by blood.
Besides, how crazy would he have to be to activate an eternal link to her when he wasn’t even sure he trusted her?
The reminder chased through his conscience like a black wind. Aric swept it aside, pushing all thoughts of blood and betrayal from his mind in favor of the one thing they did have that he could trust. Pleasure.
On a low growl, he pulled out and flipped Kaya onto her stomach. Then he lifted her onto her knees and thrust back into her sweet, wet heat again.
CHAPTER 24
Kaya’s body felt the delicious reverberations of Aric’s lovemaking all through the solemn ritual the Order observed to celebrate the birth of Nikolai and Renata’s child the next morning.
She sat beside him in the command center’s small candlelit sanctuary, swamped with emotion as she watched the new parents present their son to the audience of their closest friends and comrades. Yet to call the Breed males and their mates anything other than family was to diminish what they all had become to one another over the years. The Order’s members were kin in ways Kaya had not fully appreciated until this moment.
Inside a circle of eight tall white candles at the front of the gathering, Nikolai and Renata stood with Rio and Dylan, all of them garbed in long white tunics. With Mira holding her tiny brother nearby, the two couples had woven eight strips of snowy white silk into a cradle they held suspended between them for the infant who would be cherished and protected by all four of them--parents and chosen godparents--for as long as any of them lived.
“Who brings this child before us today?” Lucan asked, officiating the ritual.
“We do,” Nikolai and Renata answered as one. “He is our son, Dmitri Jack.”
It was the first time the baby’s name had been announced. Kaya couldn’t help smiling at his middle name, no doubt given in tribute for the old man who’d been so kind to her when she needed shelter, but also, as Aric had informed her, kind to Renata and Niko years before her.
Lucan nodded to Mira and she brought the naked baby to Renata, transferring him carefully to his mother’s arms. Renata held Dmitri up for all gathered to see.
“This babe is ours,” she and Niko said, reciting words Mira had once described to Kaya. Hearing them spoken in this setting, in this moment, was more powerful than she could have imagined. “With our love we have brought him into this world. With our blood and lives we sustain him, and keep him safe from harm. He is our joy and our promise, the perfect expression of our eternal bond, and we are honored to present him to you, our kin.”
As one, Kaya included, the assembly answered with the traditional reply: “You honor us well.”
Now, the baby was laid in the center of the white silk cradle, and next came the vow by Dmitri’s godparents. Lucan pivoted to Rio and Dylan. “Who pledges to protect this child with blood and bone and final breath should duty call upon it?”
The couple answered solemnly, “We do.”
And with that promise spoken, Rio sank his fangs into first his wrist, then Dylan’s. Together, the pair held their open wounds over the squirming baby, their blood spilling in droplets onto his bare skin to symbolize their vow to give their lives in order to keep him safe.
Kaya watched through vision blurred with welling tears and a throat thick with happiness for the four friends and the tiny child whose life would be immeasurably blessed by their love and protection. Little Dmitri would want for nothing, Kaya was certain. How she wished she could feel even a fraction of that confidence when it came to her sister and her unborn child.
Aric caught the tear that slid down her cheek. His solemn gaze was tender on her, even though this touch was the first he’d given her since leaving her bed in the early hours of the morning. As the ceremony concluded, they rose with everyone else seated in the pews.
It was humbling to be among the witnesses of the tradition-steeped ceremony. An honor to be welcomed as one of these people, even though there was a part of her that knew she was the outsider. An interloper who would never fully belong until she had brought all of her secrets out of the shadows of her past and into the light.
Including the secret she felt certain Aric already suspected, or was close to figuring out.
She had almost told him last night. But then he mentioned the likelihood that the Order was being betrayed by a mole who had not only warned Big Mack to evacuate, but alerted Opus to the fact the Order would be moving in on Lars Scrully last night. If she told him she’d been concealing the fact that she had gone to Angus Mackie’s bar the very day of the Order’s raid, why would Aric or anyone else ever believe that she had nothing to do with giving Opus the intel they needed to come to Scrully’s place armed with UV weapons?
All Kaya knew was that the pit she had begun digging for herself by withholding her shame about her past and the people who raised her was coming home to roost in ways she never imagined in her worst nightmares.
And in the center of all her regrets for those actions was Aric.
She owed him the truth.
The vague distance she felt from him today only fortified her resolve. He had to know why she was so terrified of her feelings for him.
Particularly after last night, when she’d been all but certain he had been just a hairbreadth from sinking his fangs into her carotid. One bite and he would know all of her secrets and shame. One sip from her vein and he would be bound to her forever.
It wasn’t fear she felt at that idea. It was a fierce longing. But she could never allow it to happen while she was betraying him with her silence.
“Kaya, would you like to meet my baby brother?” Mira beamed like a proud mama herself.
Looping her arm through Kaya’s, she excitedly tugged her forward without waiting for her reply. Aric loomed beside her, flanked by Kellan and Rafe.
“Why didn’t you bring Siobhan?” Mira asked, frowning. “I hope she didn’t feel unwelcome.”
“No.” Rafe shook his head. “She was awake most of the night again. Sometimes the nightmares of her roommate’s killing are too much. She was so exhausted this morning, I told her to stay in bed and rest.”
Mira gave him a sympathetic nod
. “We’re all exhausted today, I think. Losing Bal on top of all the other setbacks we’ve had lately . . . well, at least we have Dmitri to celebrate. God knows we needed something positive to carry us through.”
Renata smiled as the group of them approached the Order elders standing at the front of the sanctuary. She was radiant in her white ceremonial attire. Nikolai seemed even taller today, and unabashedly proud. The cool Russian Breed male kept his muscled arm circled around Renata’s shoulders, his icy blue gaze shining with a joy Kaya had rarely seen in him.
“It was a beautiful ceremony,” Kaya told the commander and his mate. “Dmitri Jack is a lovely name. He would be delighted, I’m sure.”
With a small nod, Renata glanced down at the dozing baby in her arms. “I hope so.”
“Is Dmitri a family name?”
“My brother,” Niko answered. “He died a very long time ago, but I will never forget him.”
Renata turned a tender gaze on her man. “Love has no expiration date. Dmitri will be in your heart forever.”
He nodded. “I want my son to grow up knowing he was named for two great men, and that he now has the responsibility to live a life that honors them both.”
“I’m sure he will,” Aric said. “Dmitri’s got some of the best parents he could hope for. Not to mention excellent backup.”
Rio chuckled at the praise. “The bar is set fairly high by a lot of others in this room, but Dylan and I will do our best not to disappoint.”
The Spaniard’s red-haired Breedmate flashed a gorgeous smile as she leaned her cheek against his thick biceps. “What he means is, we intend to spoil this child as thoroughly as Niko and Renata will allow us to.”
Kaya laughed along with everyone as the conversation continued, but it was hard to focus on anything other than Aric, who seemed to regard her in an almost brooding silence.
“What about your godparents?” she asked him, searching for a way to bring him out of the sullen mood that had been clinging to him since they’d made love last night. “You and Carys must have someone watching over you too.”
He glanced at his parents and gave a short nod. “My sister and I have the good fortune of calling Tess and Dante our godparents.”
The other couple smiled warmly at him. Then Dante smirked. “Growing up, you and Carys probably should’ve had a pair and a spare considering how wild and headstrong you both were.”
“Were?” Chase quipped drolly. “I’ve been cursed with children who proved to me time and again that they were as hard-headed as I am. They still do, more often than not.”
“And we wouldn’t have either of you any other way,” Tavia added, reaching out to squeeze the hands of both Aric and Carys, who had now joined the gathering along with her hulking mate, Rune.
Kaya looked over at Rafe. “I suppose your godparents are no mystery, seeing what close friends you and Aric are. Chase and Tavia, right?”
“No,” he replied, exchanging a look with his parents. Dante and Tess seemed a bit uncomfortable now too. “My godparents are Gideon and Savannah. And I’m damned lucky they are. They’ve been my rock more times than I can count.”
Aric’s quiet had deepened as well. A sudden awkwardness fell over the group. Kaya glanced at Chase and saw a regret in his blue gaze that made her wish for the floor to open up and swallow her. “I’m sorry if I said something wrong. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“You didn’t. And you aren’t,” Chase said. “What no one here wants to say is that I was supposed to be godparent to Rafe, but I lost the privilege. Deservedly so. I had some . . . issues many years ago. I thought I could hide a big problem from my brethren and it cost me their trust. If I hadn’t found a reason to turn it all around, I wouldn’t be standing here today.”
“Probably none of us would be,” Dante said soberly, nothing but respect and affection for his fellow comrade and friend.
“What happened?” Kaya blurted before she could curb her question. “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking, that is.”
Aric was the one who answered. “He had to come clean about the thing that was destroying him and everything he cared about.”
“That’s right,” his father confirmed. “I had a problem that was bigger than I could handle on my own. For me, it was blood addiction. But the solution is the same for anything that seems impossible to repair. The only way past a problem is through it.” He turned an adoring glance on Tavia. “So much the better if you have the right person to help you to the other side.”
He lifted his mate’s face and kissed her in front of everyone, neither of them ashamed of their devotion--or the palpable heat of their bond.
As for Kaya, she couldn’t help but see the parallel between her own troubles and Sterling Chase’s near forfeit of his place among the Order and the family he’d made there. And when she thought of family, it was impossible not to think of her twin.
As children, she and Leah had never known this kind of kinship and security with the people who bore them and raised them.
Nor this kind of love.
As much as she owed the truth to Aric and Mira and all the other people gathered in the sanctuary along with her, she couldn’t turn her back on her sister.
Although Leah claimed not to want her help, Kaya had to give her another chance at a better life.
“Speaking of problems and finding our way through them,” Dante said, his black brows knit over whiskey-colored eyes that narrowed on his warrior son. “How’s Siobhan holding up? With everything that’s happened since you and Aric picked her up, it’s easy to forget the trauma she survived.”
Rafe nodded. “She’s doing her best to put the attack behind her, but it’s not easy. Witnessing her roommate’s brutal murder and being beaten unconscious by the Opus thugs who broke in that night has taken a toll. Siobhan’s sensitive. She’s . . . delicate. She’s also the most captivating woman I’ve ever known.”
Aric shot a wry smirk at his friend. “You never could resist a pretty damsel in distress.”
“You trying to tell me I’ve got a type?” Rafe volleyed back, grinning. “Hard to recall even looking at anyone else now that I’ve met Siobhan.”
His father grunted, clearly surprised by the news. “Anyone with eyes can see how much you care for her. But I’ve gotta say, I never thought you’d find a woman to live up to your impossible standards. Did you, Tess?”
She gave the faintest shake of her blonde head, eyes the same arresting aquamarine color as Rafe’s studying her son in a curious silence.
Kaya felt a stare holding on her too.
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that private conversation you asked about,” Nikolai told her. “Anytime you want to talk, my door is open for you.”
She had to swallow past the knot of guilt that sat in her throat as she offered the commander a nod and murmured thanks. She felt the weight of Aric’s silence beside her. With dread and regret crushing down on her, it was all she could do not to bolt from the room and scream out in self-directed anger and frustration.
She had to put her past to bed and either leave her sister behind for good or find some way to bring her into the light.
All she knew was she couldn’t bear another day of holding the truth inside.
CHAPTER 25
Aric sat in the war room with Rafe, the Order elders, and all the rest of the Breed males on site at the command center, trying like hell to pay attention while they reviewed the events of the past few days and the resulting intel that Gideon had sent from D.C.
It wasn’t that he had no interest. He was as determined as anyone to chase every trail that might lead the Order to Opus Nostrum--or to the leak that had somehow opened up in the Order’s otherwise airtight pipeline of allies and informants.
And deep down, in spite of the instincts that had been gnawing at him relentlessly the past couple of days, he was hoping like hell that none of those trails led to Kaya.
After the ceremony celebrating Dmitri, Kaya had gone up to t
he mansion with the other women to enjoy the small feast they had prepared. Aric had been looking for the chance to get Kaya alone for a few minutes after the ceremony, but she seemed more than eager to get away from him once the sanctuary had cleared out.
So instead of chipping away at the wall of unanswered questions and increasingly troubling suspicions that stood between them, he was cooling his heels across the table from Lucan and his father on the verge of crawling out of his own skin.
Finally, he couldn’t take it.
Offering a lame excuse, he ducked out of the meeting and beelined for the mansion and the sounds of women’s laughter and conversation in the kitchen. He had let Kaya stonewall and evade him long enough.
He loved her, and if telling her that wasn’t enough to loosen the knots in her tongue, then he needed to know now.
If she wasn’t going to be totally honest with him--open to him in every way--then he needed to hear her say the words to his face. Then maybe he could get back to the business of living his life without her.
And if it turned out that she actually loved him, then by God he needed to hear that too.
He stalked through the kitchen entry like he was heading to war. “Kaya.”
All the conversation ceased. Seven beautiful female faces swiveled in his direction, not one of them hers.
He frowned. “Where’s Kaya?”
“Probably in her quarters,” his mother replied.
Mira nodded. “She said she was tired and wanted to rest for a while.”
Carys arched a brow at him, grinning. “You shouldn’t be surprised to hear that, considering you spent most of last night in her room.”
Ordinarily, he might take his twin sister’s bait and come back with a smartass comment of his own. Not now. He was too tense for his own peace of mind and Kaya’s absence pricked his suspicions more than he wanted to acknowledge. “How long?”
“What is it, Aric?” Tavia asked.