by Joy, E. n.
"Thank you," my mother said to her when everything was off the truck. "How much do I owe you for your time?"
"Nuttin', it was on me," she said, in kind of a manly tone. "Benny," she said, wiping her hand on her jeans before holding it out for my mother to shake.
"Benny?" I grimaced. This broad gotta be gay.
My mother looked over at me with a look that told me to shut my mouth. "Sharon," my mother said, shaking her hand. "This rude girl here is my daughter, Hayden."
"Hayden?" Benny grimaced, like she was giving me a taste of my own medicine.
"Benny, thanks for all your help," my mother said sincerely.
"No problem. Anytime," she replied as she walked back over to her porch and lit up another cigarette.
Benny watched us until we disappeared into the house.
"That Benny is a nice young lady," my mother said as she grabbed a bucket and began filling it with water.
"Yeah, if that's what you wanna call her," I replied.
"You should go over and talk to her when we get finished cleaning. Maybe y'all can become friends."
"I can't be the type of friend she’s looking for. Momma, that girl is a dyke."
"Hayden Pauline Parker, do you ever have anything nice to say about anyone?" my mother asked as she poured dish liquid and bleach into a bucket of water. "So what if she's gay? The Bible says love thy neighbor."
"And Double XX Posse say, 'Not gonna be able to do it,'" I laughed.
My mother shook her head. "You need Jesus," she said while handing me a wet, soapy rag.
Kansas turned out to be all right for me. I got me a job at Logan's Steakhouse. I was taking night classes so I could get my GED, and I finally got my license. My mother, on the other hand, wasn't too fond of Kansas. She had started taking trips back to Mansfield at least once a month. I guessed she missed her friends back home. She looked very unhappy and tired all the time. It could have been because of her health condition, but I knew it was because she wasn’t really happy. Even on her worse days she always managed to smile, but I hadn’t seen that smile in some time lately. All she did was work double shifts. I told her she needed a break from work, but she wouldn't hear of it, saying that if she took a break, she wouldn't be able to help me purchase the car I wanted. I felt bad, but if working was what she wanted to do all the time, who was I to stop her?
One day as I was walking to the bus stop and Benny was standing on her front porch shooting her regular; smoking a cigarette.
"Sup, Hayden?" she greeted.
"Hey," I replied.
"Where you off to?" she asked.
"Work."
"Where you work at?" she asked, while letting smoke escape from her lips.
I was getting irritated with the entire conversation because I was in a hurry. I was running a little bit behind and didn’t want to risk missing my bus. "Logan's, why?"
"You need a ride?"
I really didn't feel like walking three blocks to the bus stop and waiting in the hot sun for the bus to arrive. Even knowing there was a chance I might miss my bus and have to wait even longer for the next one to roll through, I refused her offer anyway. "Naw, I'm cool."
"Suit yourself," Benny replied, flicking the cigarette into the yard and walking back into her house, letting the screen door slam behind her.
If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that chick was trying to get at me. Nonetheless, I headed on my journey for work.
When I got off work, my legs and feet were aching. Thank goodness it was Saturday so I didn't have class that night. As I approached the front of Benny's house, I noticed she had a porch full of women. Some looked masculine like her, while others looked as feminine as me. I didn't know what kind of party they were having, but I dang sure didn't want to kick it wit' 'em.
Benny stood up from her chair and walked to the first step. "Sup, Hayden?"
"Hey," I replied and kept on walking to my front door. As I dug into my purse, I couldn't find my house key. "Shoot," I replied, remembering I had left my keys on the fireplace. “That’s what I get for rushing.”
"What's the matter? You locked out?" Benny asked.
"Yeah," I said, disappointed.
"Time ya momz get off work?" she asked.
"I think midnight."
"You can come kick it wit' us 'til she get home if you want," Benny offered.
"I don't kick it, and I'll just sit over here on my porch, thank you anyways."
"Whatever," Benny said, returning to her seat and bobbing her head to the beat of the music.
After sitting on my own porch for over an hour, I had to use the bathroom. Benny and her crew had taken the party inside. The last thing I wanted to do was knock on her door and ask to use her toilet. She probably wouldn't let me anyways, as rude as I had been every time she tried to talk to me. I decided I’d go to the side of the house and pee. I looked in my purse for a napkin to wipe myself with but came up empty. I was forced to do the inevitable. I tapped lightly on Benny's door, knowing I couldn't be heard because the music was so loud. So I knocked a little bit harder and rang the bell. They must have heard me this time because someone turned the music down.
"Sup?" Benny asked when she came to the door.
I could tell she was as high as a kite by the way her eyes laid low and by the slur in her speech. "Can I use your bathroom?" I asked.
"Please?" she said, her tone directing me to repeat after her.
Oh come on, I thought. I rolled my eyes. "Please."
Benny and her female friends laughed as she opened up the screen door to let me in.
"It's down that hall, first door on your left," Benny pointed.
At first I hesitated because it felt real strange being in a room full of lesbians. I didn't know if one of them would try to attack me when I came out of the bathroom or not.
"What, you scared?" Benny asked.
"Only thing I'm scared of is mice."
Benny laughed and shook her head. "Well you don't have to worry about any mice up in here," she replied before walking over to the sofa and taking a seat.
Benny's house was laid out. Her walls were painted in a burnt orange. She had oversized, leather, cognac-colored furniture that was accentuated with different shades of oranges, browns and creams. The paintings on the walls were all designed by Swept Away Enterprises, and the stereo system was adjacent to the sixty-two inch Plasma television that sat in the corner with what looked like hundreds of CD's stacked neatly on the mahogany shelves that were built into the wall.
She got taste, I thought as I made my way down the hallway. When I finished using the bathroom I walked back into the living room and stood by the door, dreading going back and sitting on the hard concrete porch.
"Why don't you stay a while?" Benny suggested.
As much as I wanted to refuse, I went ahead and took a seat in the soft leather chair that was calling my butt’s name. The chair was fit for a king, it was so big.
Benny picked up a remote off the coffee table, pointed it to the stereo, and turned the volume down. "Y'all, this is my neighbor, Hayden," she introduced before going back to rolling her blunt.
"Hey," they all said simultaneously, then continued on with what they were doing as well.
"You want a drink?" one of the girls said, shoving a beer in my face.
"No thanks; I don't drink," I replied.
"What, you don't drink?"
"Nope. I had a bad experience once."
"By the way, my name is Sticky Fingers," she said, holding out her tiny hand for me to shake.
"Wit' a name like that, I don't know if I really wanna touch your hand," I said.
"It's not what you thinkin’…silly," Sticky Fingers laughed. "My friends call me that because I be stealin’ broads' hearts without them even knowin’," she winked.
"Did you say broads?" I asked just to make sure.
"Yep, sure did. That's how I got wit' Benny. All the females that tried to get with her said she was hard to get with
because it takes a special woman to make Benny happy. But I came in the picture and made her fall in love with me just like that," she said, snapping her fingers.
"Wow, unbelievable," I said stunned that she was speaking so openly.
"You got a boyfriend?" she pried.
"Nope."
"A girlfriend?"
"Heck naw," I grimaced.
"Wanna smoke?" Sticky Fingers asked, while sparking up a blunt.
"Nope," I answered.
"You don't smoke either?"
I shook my head.
"What do you do for fun?" Sticky Fingers asked me, while blowing smoke rings out her mouth. "You one of them church girls, ain't you?" she asked, laughing.
"Nope, don't believe in God," I replied.
"What?" she asked surprised. "You're an atheist?"
"Look, I’d rather not get into all that. Plus, you ask a lot of questions."
"My bad. I was just tryna make conversation." Sticky Fingers got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen, leaving me all by myself.
As the night progressed, I was getting more and more tired. It was way past midnight and my mother still wasn't home. That meant one thing; she was working another double shift. I ended up calling the hospital, but she wasn’t able to come to the phone. I thought about asking Benny to drive me up to the hospital so I could try to track my mom down and get the key. Then I thought again; she’d done enough. I didn’t want to ask her to do too much or she might start to expect something back in return. And trust and believe wasn’t nothing jumping off this way.
As bad as I wanted to be home in my own bed, I was forced to spend the night at Benny's. I hoped that I wouldn't have to be alone with her. Thankfully, Sticky Fingers stayed to keep her company.
"Here's a t-shirt for you," Benny walked into the guest room and said, holding it out to me.
"No thanks, I'll sleep in my clothes."
"Oh, you gon' John Wayne it, huh?" she joked.
"I guess you can say that."
"Look, you don't hafta worry about me tryna hit on you. Yes, I'm a lesbian, but I'm wit' Sticky and can't no other broad take her place, understand?"
"You got that right," Sticky said as she walked down the hallway toward the front of the house to turn out the lights.
"Plus, you ain't my type. You too square." Benny winked and laughed as she made her way to her bedroom.
Square, I thought as I climbed into the comfortable queen size bed. I ain't hardly square. Am I?
Chapter Seven
The next morning, I was awakened by the smell of some good home-cooked breakfast. Whoever was cooking was throwing down. If I didn't know any better, I would have swore that it was my momma in the kitchen cooking.
"Good morning, sleepy head," Benny came to the bedroom door and said. She tossed a brand new toothbrush and face towel on the bed.
"Morning," I responded as I stretched my arms and yawned.
"Breakfast is ready," she said and headed out the room toward the living room.
I got up, went to the bathroom and took care of my morning hygiene. Once I was finished, I headed straight to the kitchen. I was hungrier than a hostage.
"Morning," Sticky Fingers said and greeted me with a smile.
"Morning," I replied. I couldn't believe how comfortable she was maneuvering around the kitchen with a cut off t-shirt, a pair of boy cut short-shorts, and stilettos heels. I watched as she piled a plate high with bacon, sausage, eggs, and two pancakes. "Who gon' eat all this?" I asked, as she sat the plate down in front of me.
"You," she answered and walked over to the counter to grab a bowl of grits and sat them down in front of me too.
"Do you always cook like this?" I asked Sticky Fingers.
"Only on Sundays, baby girl," she replied before sitting a plate down on the opposite end of the table that was piled much higher than mine.
Benny came in the kitchen, kissed Sticky on the lips, and sat down in front of the plate of food. I watched as she devoured the food. It nearly made me sick to my stomach watching her scarf down her meal. Sticky Fingers made her own plate before joining Benny and me at the table. She then bowed her head and said grace.
"How come you don't have a boyfriend?" Sticky asked me after she said Amen.
"How do you know I don't have a boyfriend?" I asked, confused.
"'Cause you told me last night," she reminded me.
"Oh yeah. I just don't have one," I responded while biting down on a crisp piece of bacon, trying to avoid where the conversation was headed.
"Have you ever had one?" she asked.
"Nope."
"What?" Benny and Sticky both said in unison.
"Why not?" Sticky asked.
"I don't have time for no man right now. And no, I don't want no woman either," I said before they could get the wrong impression of me.
"You're a pretty, young girl-a little plain, but pretty," Sticky said, honestly. "With a little make-up and new hair do, you could have just about any young man you want."
"Look, thanks for the compliment, but I don't want no man. I don't trust 'em, none of 'em," I said, irritated, pushing my chair away from the table.
"Change the subject," Benny said to Sticky in a somewhat demanding tone. "Go'n and finish eating, girl, before your food gets cold," she said to me.
I pushed my chair back up to the table and did what I was told. After finishing breakfast, I thanked Benny and Sticky for their warm hospitality before heading home to get ready for another day of work, hoping my mom was home by now.
"Where you been all night? I've been worried sick," my mother said when she let me into the house.
"I was locked out, Ma. I had to stay the night over to Benny's house,” I answered.
My mother shot me a funny look. "Don't play me, Ma." I laughed because I knew what she was insinuating.
"You know I know better than that," she laughed. "I can't believe Benny let you stay over, rude as you are to her."
"I know, but Benny's mad cool. I like her," I said. My mother shot me another one of those looks. "Not like that, Ma," I laughed.
"She is a nice girl. I just don't know why she chooses to live her life like a man."
"Don't know, Ma," I said as I made my way to the bathroom.
As I showered, I wondered how a woman could turn to another woman for physical love. Look at Sticky for instance; she was a beautiful young lady. Her five feet nine inch frame was one of a model’s. She didn't appear to have a blemish anywhere on her body. Her smile left hints that she used to wear braces because of how perfectly straight her teeth were. Her eyes were slanted with a light-brown tint and she wore her wavy hair short and wild, kinda like Eva from America’s Next Top Model. I knew she could have any man ready to give her the world, but she chose to be with Benny. I guess to each his own!
I had been spending more and more time over to Benny's. I began to enjoy hanging with her and her friends. I learned so much about lesbian relationships, the streets, drugs, men, and everything else by just sitting back listening to the conversations they held. I never knew the world was so crazy and mixed up. If there really was a God, boy oh boy I bet He was grieved by this mess He’d created…or the mess folks had made of what He’d created.
I remember my grandmother once saying that the Bible said there wasn’t anything new under the sun. Well, everything Benny and her friend’s talked about was all new to me. It was like I had been living on Mars all of my life. Benny and her friends got a kick out of me because of how intrigued I was to find out about some of the things they conversed about.
Benny made sure all her friends knew and understood that I didn't swing the way they did and they respected that. They had even given me the nick name, Pure, because of how pure they thought my life was. Even though I'd never experienced any of the things they had, my life was far from pure and I had John, Jarvis and Javon to thank for that.
Before heading to work, I had a few minutes to spare, so I decided to stop by Benny's before
going to the bus stop. I walked up on her porch and EPMD's “Crossover” was blaring through the speakers. I began bobbing my head as I beat on the door.
"Oh, hey, Pure," Sticky smiled as she opened the door to let me in.
"Sup? What ch’all doin’ today?" I asked, hoping it was something fun.
"We gon' kick it tonight!" Sticky said, excited. "Benny down at the club gettin' things ready for the party that's goin' down tonight."
Benny owned and ran the Kitty Kat Klub, which was a strip club that mainly attracted females. Occasionally men ran through just to see if they could luck up on a threesome with a couple of chicks who were just pretending to be gay for a day. There were a few regulars that came around. They were the ones with a fetish for girl-on-girl action. The club was getting too small for the large crowd it attracted on a regular basis, so to accommodate her customers, Benny decided to expand the building to make a more comfortable environment.
After all the work was complete, Benny was so pleased; she decided to throw a grand re-opening party. Benny went all out. She hired caterers, and all drinks were half price, even top-shelf. Benny sold five dollar raffle tickets at the door. The prize was a chance to enter the Champagne Room…for free. But the donkey-butt contest was gon' be the main attraction, because whoever had the biggest backside, the payoff was $500.
"Man, I wish I could go to the party," I huffed.
"You eighteen ain't you?" Sticky asked as she lit up a cigarette.
"Yeah," I replied.
"Well, you old enough to come. You just can't drink. You know Benny is strict when it comes to under-age drinkin’ in her establishment."