The problem now? She wasn’t really sure how to respond to what he had just said, and – as much as she was thrilled by his attentions, she desperately wanted to put an end to this conversation. It was just too intense for her, and she had no practice navigating waters such as these. She just knew that she was bound to make a horrible misstep if this sexually-charged banter went on much longer.
She smiled brightly and tried her best to aim for a casual tone as she said with a flippant handwave, “Well, we can agree to disagree.”
Luke grinned. She could see him lazily leaning back in his chair and watching her as she make a huge production out of picking the menu back up and studying it intently again. He must think he had her on the run!
“Not sure that what you ordered was what you really wanted? I can call the waiter back over,” he said languidly.
She flushed and put the menu down, “Sorry. I was just thinking that...you know...he should have taken it...or, whatever,” she trailed off lamely.
“OK, good, I have your attention again. Since you don’t want to talk about my type, let’s talk about yours. What kind of guys do you normally date?”
Oh for the love of Pete! Just when she thought this conversation couldn't get any worse. How was she supposed to answer this? What type of guy did she normally date? Hmm....let’s see. That would be the non-existent kind, because she never dated!
She straightened her shoulders and determined to pull herself together. Losing her head was absolutely not in her wheelhouse. Sure, OK, this was a new situation. So what? She was constantly in new situations with sponsors and press, ones that required her to almost instantaneously get a feel for what was needed and do what was necessary to navigate them successfully. All she needed to do was apply the same skills she used with handling the press to handling Luke.
Was that the kind of connection she would have dreamed of forging with him, when she was still a teenager, staring at his posters? Of course not. That connection would have been magical, effortless, and in no way involved the kind of fumbling, bumbling attempts at conversation she was currently mucking it up with. But, hey, honey, she told herself. Not everything happens the way you daydreamed it would be when you were 15, and I'm sure you're not the first public figure to employ their media training in personal situations. So...here goes nothin'.
She studied Luke's handsome face. This was a date, right? And Luke had just asked her what her ideal dating partner was like. So...what was Luke like? She just needed to figure out a way to describe him, but make it just generic enough that he wouldn't recognize that it was actually him that she was describing. Easy peasy, she could do this!
“Well, let's see. I guess I usually date guys who are honest, and confident. Who are nice, and family-oriented. I like guys who can take care of themselves. You know. Basically what every girl likes,” Sam finished with a shrug, hoping that would satisfy him so that they could move THE HELL on!
“So how long was your longest relationship?” Luke asked.
Geez Louise, wasn’t the girl supposed to be doing the grilling?! Hey, she realized, that's a good idea! Let’s turn the tables. She narrowed her eyes slightly. Two could play at this game, and when it came to games, Sam rarely ever lost.
“I’ve had several long-term relationships,” she said confidently. That was actually true if you counted Amanda, Karina, Lauren and her manager Stephan. Hey, he didn’t specify which kind of relationships! Now was time to turn the tables.
“What’s the longest relationship you’ve had?”
“A year and a half, why did yours end?” Luke volleyed right back.
“Distance, wanting different things, growing apart,” Sam rapid-fired, still technically not lying. “Why did yours end?”
He considered this for a moment, “I guess we wanted different things. She wanted more of a commitment, I didn’t.”
“Not really a commitment type, huh?” Sam asked, finally feeling that she was gaining the upper hand. She already knew the answer to that one, but wanted to hear how he would respond.
She had to wait for that, though, because their food appeared at that moment. Of course, Sam groused to herself, as soon as I start to get control of the conversation, fate intervenes and takes his side. Well, no matter. I'm a fierce competitor, and I know that means you don't give up because of one setback.
After they were served, and began eating, Sam said playfully, “I'm still waiting for an answer, you know.”
Luke returned her playful grin, “Your honor, can I please have the question read back to me?”
Sam laughed, “OK, smartass. I asked if you were not much of a commitment kind of a guy.”
“OK, well...let's see. Actually, no I guess I wasn’t, back then. But I was in my early twenties and at the top of my competitive game. My priorities were really screwed up,” Luke finally answered.
“So what are your priorities now?” Sam questioned, reveling in the power of driving the conversation. She couldn't lie, she was also loving the fact that she was finally getting answers straight from the horse’s mouth to questions for which she had long ago formed her own conclusions, as an outsider looking in on Luke’s life.
“I would classify them as getting better every day. I know now what’s important to me, and what I want in life,” Luke replied, his tone grave.
“What’s that?” Sam prompted.
“Well, I want to settle down. I want to have a family of my own, and I want to spend time with the people I love. I haven’t lived close to my family in over a decade, that’s far too long. Basically, I just don’t want to waste anymore of my life pursuing things that don’t really matter.”
Sam was so confused, she always thought Luke loved what he did.
“Wow, that's a shocker,” she admitted, “So do you regret your career? Would you change it if you could?”
“No, definitely not,” Luke said decisively, “I wouldn’t change anything and I don’t regret anything. All of those choices and experiences made me the man I am today. But I can learn from the past.
All the years I spent competing, and then later all the years I traveled the world going from resort to resort and never committing myself to more than a season anywhere – that was fun, but it was also a selfish existence.
Don’t get me wrong. It was carefree and exciting, and I definitely enjoyed it. But I’m ready for more, now. I’m not in my twenties anymore. I don’t want to just live for myself. I want to have someone who depends on me, someone to call when I travel, and someone who misses me.
And visa versa, I want someone who I can depend on, who I can take care of and come home to. Those are the important things in life. People. What about you Sam. What’s important to you?”
Sam was blown away by what Luke had just said. She had never seen this side of him. And from what she had heard from the girls that Luke had been with, his MO was to always kept things light and fun, never to talk about the future or hopes and dreams.
He also never lied to them, which had left more than on girl with a bruised ego and hurt feelings, but Sam always thought that harsh honesty would be easier to take than pretty lies.
The crazy thing was, if all those things were true about Luke, then he was being sincere, and she should answer him sincerely.
“Well, I guess right now what’s important to me is me,” she responded, immediately realizing how wrong that sounded.
She laughed, “I mean not me, like I’m the most important thing in the world. I mean me, as in my life. I feel like I have been on this hamster wheel for the last ten years, and I wasn’t even controlling the speed. I want to regain control of my life.
Part of that definitely includes spending time with the people I love. One of the main reasons that I moved home to Hope Falls was to reconnect with my friends. Even though my parents moved to Arizona several years ago, after growing up here a lot of the people feel like my extended family. My Hope Falls family,” she smiled thinking of all the amazing people she had in her li
fe here.
“So have you ever thought about having a family of your own, kids?” Luke asked, his voice pointedly casual.
She breathed out. How would it sound if she answered that question honestly? ‘Gee, yes Luke, I have thought about having kids, with you actually, I even named them.’ Nope, that sounded crazy. So, since she couldn’t tell the whole truth, she settled with just telling part of it. She went with, “Sure, I’ve thought about it.”
“And what was the verdict? Do you see kids in your future?”
“Oh, I do want kids. That’s easy. Yes, for sure, I can’t decide if I want two or three. I do know that I definitely want a boy and a girl though, so I figured if the first two are a boy and girl then that would make my decision for me. But if I have two boys or two girls, then I would definitely go for #3.”
She could feel herself beginning to ramble so she stopped talking.
“What about the Dad in this scenario, does he get a vote?” Luke asked with a wide smile across his face. She thought he looked quite amused.
“Of course he gets a vote! But mine just counts more, because I’m the one who grows the baby, births the baby, and sacrifices my body for the baby,” Sam said in a tone that all but dared him to disagree with her.
“Fair enough,” Luke smiled, his hands raised in a show of surrender, “I think you'll make an amazing mother, Samantha.”
Holy moly! In a span of just thirty minutes, the man that she had been harboring feelings that bordered obsession for since she was fifteen years old had not only told her she was sexy and beautiful, but had had now just looked deeply into her eyes and said she would make an amazing mother.
Hot damn! Were all first dates like this? She wasn’t sure she was going to survive it, truth be told. It was all just too good to be true.
--- ~ ---
On the way home from dinner, Luke tried to wrap his mind around everything he had learned about Sam.
She was a puzzle, indeed. He had never met anyone who was so blazingly confident in some aspects of their life, so astutely self-aware, and yet so unsure of herself and insecure in others.
It was as if Sam was completely unaware of the effect she had as a sexy and intelligent woman, like she was totally oblivious to her own feminine power.
After all of the heavy relationship talk they had engaged in at the beginning of the meal, Luke had steered the conversation to their happy childhood memories, and then to even lighter topics, like the movies and books they both enjoyed.
He was amazed by how much they had in common. It went beyond just their similar childhood experiences growing up in the same area and being involved in the same sport. They also had so many of the same interests. For instance, they liked almost all of the same movies. Well, with the exception of horror movies, which he loved and Sam hated.
He could live with that.
He also could live with seeing that smile, every minute of every day, until the end of time. When Sam smiled at him, he felt like he could do anything, like he was invincible.
Damn. He loved her smile. He loved her eyes. He loved her laugh. He loved her hair. He loved her heart. He loved her competitive drive. He loved her gentle spirit. He loved her hands. He loved her body. He loved her lips.
He had never been in love before, but holy shit, he was pretty sure he was headed in that direction.
He wasn't someone who tended to think too much past the moment he was living in right now. But with Samantha he saw a future. When she had talked about carrying a baby, he immediately pictured her pregnant with their baby.
As they pulled into Samantha’s driveway, he realized he hadn’t been great company on the ride home. He had been lost in his thoughts. Their conversation at dinner had stirred up in him such powerful emotions, and such a shift in how he pictured his future, that all of his mental powers had been used to process that shift.
The result of all that deep thinking, however, was that he had barely said a word on the entire drive. That couldn't have been very fun or comfortable for her!
As Luke turned in his seat, an apology already forming on his lips, he saw that she was already getting out of the passenger side door.
“Bye, thanks for a great night!” Samantha said quickly, and much too brightly, as she shut the door behind her and practically sprinted to the gate.
Luke, though, had now completely recovered from his reflective fog, and had his head completely in the game. He jumped out and was at her side almost immediately, before she even got the gate open.
“So that’s it?” he said lightly, following her around the path to the front door, “No good night kiss?”
He strove to keep the desperation he felt out of his voice, which wasn't easy, as he had almost no experience with feeling that particular emotion. He sure as hell felt it now, though. Since last night, kissing her soft, sexy lips had been just about all he was able to think about.
“Oh!” Samantha turned to him, eyes wide and voice infused with innocent surprise, “I didn’t know you wanted one.”
He smiled. He loved how she was constantly saying unexpected things.
“Well for future reference, just know...” he said slowly and stepped in front of her, causing her to back up against the door. Her eyes widened even further.
“I always...” he continued, lowering his voice to an even sexier pitch as he placed his hands flat against the door on either side of her face, “...want a kiss.”
“Oh, OK,” she said, looking up at him, her eyes widened. Her breathing picked up and her face flushed. Luke took this as a good sign.
He lowered his head slowly, brushing his lips over hers. Then, gently sucking her bottom lip between his, he softly traced his tongue along it. She responded by gasping and opening her mouth wider, throwing her head back just a little. God, her mouth...it was so lovely, so perfectly formed. He had never kissed a woman and been intoxicated by the shape and feel of her mouth and lips the way that he was with Samantha.
He took the opportunity to slide his tongue inside her beautiful mouth and explored it slowly and thoroughly.
Her hands moved swiftly up to the back of his neck and she grasped it hungrily, drawing a low moan from his throat. Luke responded by removing his hands from the hard wood of the front door and cradling her face gently, rubbing his thumbs across her jawline. God, her skin felt so soft, her mouth tasted so sweet. Luke felt need rising up in him like nothing he had ever felt before.
What had started out as slow and sweet was quickly turning into something more desperate and intense.
Their tongues entwined, their hands grasped at each other, their bodies pressed tightly together. He felt connected to Samantha along every inch of their bodies, but it still wasn’t enough. He wanted more of her.
He wanted to take her inside, lay her down, strip her out of that damn sexy dress and kiss every inch of her amazing body.
He had felt passion before, certainly. Desire, even. God, but this was so much more than that! This was need. He needed her like he needed oxygen.
He heard a moan escape from deep inside her and he knew if he didn’t leave now, things would go further than he wanted them to tonight.
He knew his reputation, and although he felt as if it had been overblown, he had also seen the look in Samantha’s eyes tonight when they were talking about relationships and commitment.
He knew she probably thought he didn’t take this seriously, but he did. He needed to show her that, as thrilling as he found her, he wasn't in this with her for just a quick thrill. He was in it for the long haul.
To that end, he didn’t want to jeopardize what was happening between them by letting things go too far too fast. That would give her the wrong idea, that he was just a good-time guy and not someone who had serious feelings for her, and serious plans for their future.
So, as difficult as it was - and as much as his body was trying to convince him to do otherwise - he listened to his mind, and more importantly his heart and ended the kiss by pulling aw
ay.
She looked up at him, eyes glazed, head swaying a little side to side.
“Can you get drunk off of a kiss?” she mumbled to herself, and then, as if realizing she had spoken the sentiment aloud, clapped her hand over her mouth.
Luke brushed her hair back from her forehead and winked, “Didn't mean to use your outside voice, huh?”
He saw a bright red blush creeping up her cheeks from beneath the fingers of her hand, which was still clapped over her mouth, and she shook her head furiously.
His head fell back as he laughed out loud, “You crack me up Samantha! Why didn't anyone ever tell me you were funny?”
She shrugged, “Nobody ever told ME.”
This only intensified his affectionate mirth. He reached out and took her hand, bringing it to his mouth for a chivalrous kiss. “Well, I'll tell you what, beautiful. If it is possible for a kiss to intoxicate someone, then that one definitely put me over the legal limit. Good night, Samantha. Thank you for one of the best nights of my life.”
He leaned in once more and kissed her soft, supple lips before turning and heading out the gate, getting into his car and driving away into was certain to be a long, sleepless night.
Chapter Thirteen
Sam sat in her living room the next day, biting her nails, debating whether or not to send out the mass text that she had just typed into her phone. She was completely torn.
On the one hand, she felt like she really needed to do a post-mortem with someone (or several someones) on the date with Luke. On the other hand, she still didn't feel comfortable discussing her love life. She crinkled her forehead. Did what she had going on even qualify for that term? One of the many things that she needed to discuss with someone.
She wished her problem was as straightforward as her training issues used to be. If something wasn't working, you broke it down into elements, you called in experts, you focused on it, you fixed it. That's where, for all the issues she was having with him pressuring her now, having a coach like Stephan came in handy. He could look at her progress from the outside and tell her where she needed adjustments.
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