by Michael Todd
Holly put her hand on his shoulder. “Just remember, the thing you hate the most might be the only thing that can save your life at this point.”
JB’s eyes went distant and Holly stepped back, watching him. Billie pursed her lips and crossed her arms. “Looks like the big guy is having a light-bulb moment.”
JB waved his hand at her, his gaze still lost in the distance. “Holly, do you know anything about Heavy Metal?”
Holly nodded. “Sure. I read all about them before I got here. There was Salinger, who was brought here against his will. A scientist who knew nothing about the Zoo. In the end, he started Heavy Metal.”
JB nodded, bringing his attention back to Holly. “From what I can remember, there was a point in one of his trips into the Zoo, before Heavy Metal, that he showed himself to be more than just a normal guy. They realized quickly that after he got over the initial shit-your-pants moment of going into the Zoo, he was more than just a biologist. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I’m pretty sure there was something in there about him kicking ass and taking names when it came to working with the blue stuff.”
Holly’s attention was piqued. “Actually, yeah. I read something about that in the book, but I figured it was just magical fluff to make the thing more interesting. It wasn’t a memoir, just some ex-mercenary who ended up out of the Zoo writing books for the humans on the outside.”
Billie scoffed. “James Altwood. That scum-bucket piece of shit tried to write a story about me, but my people squashed it before it ever got to production. He only went in three times, and people hail him as an expert.”
Holly shrugged. “I guess for them, it’s the closest they can get to seeing people either retire here or die here.”
JB shook his finger at her. “That is exactly right. And Salinger, he is, or was, a biologist when he was first brought to the Zoo. He could have some really good insight, if the stories are true, about how to use the goop for its healing capabilities.”
Billie had pulled out her phone and was randomly typing to someone. Holly glanced down and realized the screen on her phone wasn’t a normal text screen. It was more like a computer in DOS mode, a black screen with white symbols and letters. Three small dots wavered underneath her gibberish until she finally got a response, an equally mysterious message.
Billie looked up from her device and slipped it back into her front pocket. “I have a contact who might know him. I just sent out feelers for where to find his ass, although I’m pretty sure I know where to look. If he has information, or this Salinger guy has information, I will get it out of him.”
JB lifted an eyebrow. “Remember that Salinger is very well loved around here, being the founder of Heavy Metal. When you say you’ll get the information out of him, let’s try to use our polite face and indoor voice and not rough him up, okay? His crew is like the majority of my income in this bar every year. I would hate to see it go.”
Billie scoffed. “Fine, but you do understand if he doesn’t cough it up, you’ll be the one leaving and not them. Only you’ll be leaving this Earth or getting tossed into the Zoo as some freaky alien creature.”
JB grumbled. “Who says I’ll be freaky? I could be turning into the prince or king of whatever alien species sent the thing. You could be disrespecting a potential member of the royal house right now.”
Billie bumped his fake leg. “I don’t think it counts until more than one leg is infected.”
JB sat up straight and lifted his chin. “It’s running through my blood. That probably means I could roll up and get some action, creating a whole new race of beings on this planet.”
Billie stared at him. “I am pretty sure that would be a bad choice. Besides, who wants an old man with a tin leg and a weird infection? Maybe if you were rich, but…”
She smirked, lifting herself from the chair. JB shook his head with a chuckle. “You come back, are here one hour, and you are already busting my balls.”
Holly laughed. “She’s been here a lot longer than an hour. Remember, she came to find me this morning.”
JB leaned forward and started tucking his pant leg in his boot. Holly leaned down to help, but he swatted her hand away. “As long as I got the range of motion to pull the strings, I will do it on my own. No offense, but not tying my shoes takes me into old-man territory.”
Holly stood up, crossing her arms. “Fine, but keep up this stubbornness and you’ll be velcroing your shoes closed before too long...old man.”
JB gasped. “Take it back. You wouldn’t do that to a hero like me.”
Holly laughed. “I don’t know. You better watch it, Mister.”
Billie smirked, not wanting to show too much emotion. A loud bang sounded out front, then a barrage of laughter echoed down the hall and through the locked door of the office. JB sighed and put his hands on the arms of his chair. “I should probably go save the customers from Paula.”
Holly laughed. “Don’t you mean, save Paula from the customers?”
Billie snickered. “Have you met Paula? By the time he gets out there the whole bar will have been reduced to tears and self-loathing. Paula will be standing behind the bar, looking at her nails and sighing. Those boys don’t stand a chance with her. Besides, what can you do about it, cripple?”
JB stared unhappily at Billie. “Very funny. Don’t call me a cripple. I am not incapable of taking care of myself or getting around, for that matter. You want to see me dance? I’ll jig. You want to see me don a suit and roll into the Zoo? I’ll do it blindfolded.”
Billie walked forward, putting on her gloves and squeezing JB’s shoulder. “Calm down, we’re just giving you shit. No one else knows, so somebody’s got to be the one to tease the ever-loving hell out of you, don’t you think?”
JB huffed. “No. I think I would be just fine without your bullshit, thank you.”
He tried to lift himself out of the chair but quickly fell right back down. He put up his finger and grinned. “No worries, just takes a couple of times…”
He started to raise himself from the chair again...
Chapter Four
Holly rolled her eyes and walked over, pushing JB back down into the desk chair. “Sit your obstinate ass down. I’ll do the bar with Paula.”
JB looked at her wildly. “Are you sure you’re ready for Paula and those wild-ass mercenaries out there? They seem harmless while you’re sitting on that side of the bar, but when you get behind it, they change their tune.”
Holly scoffed. “Please! I used to tend bar, remember? I may not be a mercenary in the Zoo, but I can handle men like that. Been around them my whole life, and will continue to be even if I don’t take this contract. They are no different than men all around the world working in dangerous jobs, surrounded by nothing but dicks.”
Billie smiled. “I like this chick, JB. Where did you find her?”
JB glanced up at Holly. “Just came strolling into my bar one day, wanting me to tell her stories. I guess there was something interesting enough about her that we kept her around.”
Holly giggled. “At first I thought it was the tits, but then I realized it was my sparkling and fantastic personality.”
Billie raised an eyebrow. “And the tits.”
Holly laughed. “Of course, although I have to admit, no one has given me a hard time. I’ve been left relatively alone when it comes to passes.”
Billie swallowed and pulled out her phone, looking down at the screen. She was distracted for a moment but then shook her head, coming back to the conversation. “People either respect or fear JB. They know he isn’t going to allow any shit like that, so they are as polite as their minds will let them be.”
Holly looked down at JB. “So, what you’re saying is that you are actually a giant cockblock.”
JB sighed. “Trust me, you will thank me in the end for it.”
Holly put her hands up, chuckling. “Oh, I’m not complaining, just making sure I have it right. You aren’t over here hoarding all the women under t
he pretense of having manners. You really do expect the patrons to have some level of fucking class.”
JB shrugged. “I try, at least, although the first idea seems like a lot more fun. Maybe I should have tried that from the beginning—hoarding all the ladies for my own pleasure. I needed you around with these ideas ten years ago, dammit.”
Billie just smirked and put her phone back in her pocket. “I’m going to go talk to one of my contacts who knows Salinger Jacobs from Heavy Metal. Or at least he knew him some time ago, so that should be a help.”
JB nodded. “Let me know when you are back in the house. Drinks on me.”
Billie smiled as she walked toward the back door of the office. “This is why I keep you around.”
She flipped up her black hood and pressed on the door, opening it easily and stepping out into the blowing sand. The door slammed shut behind her and Holly narrowed her eyes. “I am starting to think she is fucking with me.”
JB tilted his head to the side. “Is that door locked now?”
Holly walked over and pushed on the door, letting out a grunt. “Yep, locked and not budging.”
JB just laughed. “You’ll get used to her after a while. Sneaking up out of nowhere, popping around corners—it’s all part of her game.”
Holly sat down in the old green chair and leaned forward. “It’s important at this point that you get some rest, even if that means sitting back here. Things are getting worse, and the worse they get, the harder it will be for us to take care of the situation.”
JB rolled his eyes. “Now I have three Paulas on my ass.”
Holly slapped his good knee. “It’s good for you. I also think it’s good for you to have Wild Bill here. Your face was full of more than shock.”
JB rubbed his face. “To be honest, I was shocked as fuck. I always knew she was out there somewhere doing what she does, but to see her standing in front of me...that was a lot. It means more than you know to have her and you looking out for me, but it is just a little strange to me that she is putting her ass on the line for this. I know I saved her life, but she repaid that debt a long time ago. And it wasn’t even me, it was Gabrielle.”
Holly nodded, leaning back and crossing her legs. “Right, but if she’s here, that means it’s more than important to get this stuff taken care of. Obviously, if she’s here, it’s serious.”
JB groaned. “And if she came knocking on your door, even more so. She’s not known to seek help on things. She usually takes them on head-first on her own.”
Holly smiled. “So you’ll take it easy for a while? At least while we are figuring all this out?”
JB breathed deeply through his nose. “I suppose. I know when to say when, and I’m at that point now. I don’t like to admit that, of course, but you guys came at the perfect time. Every morning it’s been harder to get up and come to the bar to work. The pain has been insane, and the alcohol no longer touches it. I can’t be wasted all the time.”
Holly laughed, standing up and turning the chair back around. “Sounds like my kind of retirement—Lounging around drinking my ass off in another world. Of course, I would prefer it without the weird purple leg.”
JB shook his head. “If you don’t get on this, I’m going to have a weird purple dick. That’s when I’ll throw in the towel.”
Holly wrinkled her nose. “That would not be a surprise I would want to get as a woman. All hot and bothered, taking off some guy’s pants and his dick looks like Barney the Dinosaur? Talk about a mood killer.”
JB laughed hard. “Maybe I could sign up with the carnies and go on a road trip? See the purple-dicked man.”
Holly patted him on the shoulder. “I don’t think I would personally pay money to see that, but I know a lot of people who would. Anyway, let me get out there and get to Paula. We need to sling some drinks.”
JB reached up and patted her hand. “Thank you.”
Holly smirked. “I bet you’re glad I rambled in here a week ago.”
She winked at JB and walked over to the door, unlocking it and heading out of the office. JB sat in the chair for a moment, looking off in the distance with a smile on his face. “Sure as hell am.”
Paula poured three shots and slid them across the bar to the patrons, then collected the money, typing the sale into the register and putting the money away. When she turned around, she put her arms out. “Who’s next? What you got? Throw it at me.”
One of the guys chuckled. “You heard her, boys. Throw ‘em at her.”
Paula narrowed her eyes. “If it starts raining dicks behind this bar, I might have some weird shit to explain to the boss when he gets back out here. Keep those bad boys in your pants.”
Holly laughed as she turned the corner, grabbing a bar towel and wiping up the mess on the back counter. Paula walked over, her back to the patrons. “You on bar duty today?”
Holly glanced up at Paula. “Mmhmm. Just letting the boss take a rest day.”
Paula raised her eyebrow. Holly finished wiping up and leaned toward her, whispering, “I know about JB and his injury. He showed it to me a few minutes ago. I know that every day it’s getting worse.”
Paula hung her head. “Dammit…”
Holly looked at her curiously. “What’s wrong?”
Paula let out a deep breath and tapped her hands on the counter top. “I’ve been trying my best to look after him. I’ve been calling in doctors, taking him to the appointments, and trying to make sure he wasn’t doing too much.”
Holly put her hand on Paula’s shoulder. “And you’ve been doing an amazing job.”
Paula nodded. “Yeah, but if you know, that means it isn’t getting any better. I was hoping that one of these treatments was going to magically make him well. At the same time, though, I knew if it were something that came from the Zoo, then human medicine was going to be pretty pointless. You still have hope, though.”
Holly understood. “Well, now you have me to share the burden. We want to give him as much time to rest as we can while other things are being worked on to help him.”
Paula raised an eyebrow and put up her hands. “I don’t want to know the rest, but I don’t mind working extra. We can split up his shifts, and I can rearrange the waitresses on the floor so I don’t have to be out there all the time.”
Holly nodded. “Let’s try to make it so you aren’t picking up everything. I’m not working on anything but my own personal research right now. That can wait, and I can focus on keeping this place going. Doesn’t mean JB won’t come back into the mix, but we want to let him relax for as long as possible.”
Paula completely agreed, and the two worked out a plan to keep the bar going and comfortable for both of them. When they were done, Paula looked her up and down. “So, do you know what you’re doing?”
Holly chuckled, grabbing a glass and flipping it around. “I’ve been behind a bar a few times.”
Just then one of the guys yelled, “Hey, gimme a Singapore Sling, simple on the rocks.”
Paula handed Holly the shaker and nodded. “Let’s see what you got, Toots.”
Holly giggled and went to work, moving from station to station. She filled the shaker cup with ice and grabbed the pineapple juice. Pouring it from close to far away, she added two shots of the juice, followed by a little over one shot of gin. She flipped a lime wedge in the air and caught it behind her back, squeezing it into the cup. Putting on the lid, she shook it hard, moving her hips like she was dancing.
Paula lifted her eyebrows as Holly strained the drink into a Collins glass and finished it up with a splash of seltzer and a spoonful of grenadine. She waited until the grenadine had sunk to the bottom and garnished it with a lime wedge and a cherry. She twisted the wrapper from the straw and stuck it down into the drink before pushing it to the guy at the end who had ordered it.
Paula put her hands on her hips and stared at the guy as he took a long sip. “Well?”
The guy smacked his lips. “Probably the best one I’ve ever had.
This chick knows what the hell she’s doing.”
After that Paula didn’t ask any more questions, and they went to work filling orders and talking shit to the patrons. Holly stood on the right side, drying glasses and listening to new stories from a few guys and a couple gals at the end of the bar. They were all about the heroic Heavy Metal mercs. They talked about shit from doing backflips while you cut off locust heads to a guy who had used the spine of a jag to stab a dino. She wasn’t sure how true any of it was, but it was definitely entertaining to listen to.
One guy put his hands up and dropped his shoulders. “This motherfucker was huge—I’m talking bodybuilder on steroids. He fucking slit the jag’s neck, grabbed it by its tail, and ripped the fucking spine right out of it. He broke one of the long pieces across his knee and met the dino in the middle. Of course, they sparred a bit, but in the end, he took that bone and jabbed it straight into the dino’s throat. Shit was bananas. He collected the goop from it and got his money. I heard he split after that. Moved back to wherever he came from and lives the lavish life now.”
One of the women snorted. “Or he lives a life of coke and whores.”
The guy shrugged. “That sounds fucking lavish to me. I’m not even gonna lie.”
The front door cracked open and Holly looked over, finding the two guys JB had tossed out the day before trying to sneak in. “Hey! Are the two of you complete imbeciles? One week—that’s what the boss fucking said. That’s as many days as the fingers on both your fucking hands! Now get out of here before I put my boot in your ass to move you.”
The guys quickly backed out and slammed the door. Paula laughed, walking up beside her and drying her hands off. “Ten?”
Holly shrugged with a smirk. “They can’t count, so I don’t want to make them subtract three. They might cut off their fingers to make it happen.”
Paula laughed. “You fit in just right around here.”