Whereas it took every ounce of self-control she had to remain where she was and appear unaffected by his masculine presence and her latent desire. “You can’t keep doing this,” she said.
“Check my messages or return calls to my patients’ owners?” he asked, putting the cordless phone back on the base.
“Harass me.”
Tyler leaned back and clamped his arms over his broad chest. “I’m not harassing you.”
“Then what do you call it?”
“Pursuing you.”
Susie gulped. “Why?”
“Because I want my chance,” Tyler countered, challenging her all the more. He stepped closer, his body exuding so much heat it felt like Texas in July.
Susie pivoted away from him. “It could be argued that you already had your chance.” She stood so his desk was between them.
His expression intent, he kept his eyes locked with hers. “That was before I had my change of heart.”
Suddenly, Susie was trembling. “Why should I trust your change of heart?”
He came closer, tenderness and compassion on his face. “Because to do otherwise would leave you always wondering what you were missing and what might have been,” he told her softly.
“Talk about ego!” Susie shot back, squaring her shoulders, and retaining her calm despite the glimmer of mischief in his beautiful eyes.
“It’s not ego,” he told her gruffly, catching her wrist before she could walk away again. “It’s fact. You desire me.” Tyler clamped one arm around her waist, threaded the other hand through her hair and brought her against him, length to length. “I desire you. It’s always been that way, and probably always will.” He gazed down at her, all determined male. “We just haven’t allowed ourselves to act on that desire very often.”
“Which was probably smart of both of us,” she countered, her throat so dry she could hardly swallow.
A gentle smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He shifted her up onto the desk in his study and trapped her between his spread legs. “Or very, very dumb.”
Susie’s heart began to pound. “Tyler…”
He flattened his hands on either side of her and leaned in close, cosseting her with warmth. “Here’s the thing, Suze. I don’t want you to be ticked off at me.”
She tried to move his arms so she could escape. It was like trying to budge a one-hundred-year-old oak, so she quit trying and angled her head at him instead. Worse than his happy smile was the look of satisfaction on his face. She brought her hands up through the narrow space between their bodies and splayed them across his chest. “Too late.”
He gave her a look that reminded her that he knew her better than anyone, even when she would have preferred he not.
Ignoring her waning resistance, he bent to kiss her throat, tracing a lazy circle where her pulse throbbed. “And since the only reason you are peeved at me is because I didn’t make love to you when I had the chance, there’s only one way to fix it. And that’s make love to you now.”
He took her all the way in his arms and captured her mouth in a soft kiss that had her senses spinning and her heart soaring.
“This won’t change anything,” Susie protested, even when she tilted her head to give him deeper access.
The possessive look in his eyes robbed her of the will to resist. “We’ll see about that.”
He kissed her, holding nothing back. Without breaking the kiss, he guided her off the desk and danced her backward, through his house, to his bed. Half a dozen times, Susie meant to call a halt but he was so warm and solid and real. He was here, and so was she. And the moment lent a much-needed romance to her often stark world.
Savoring his strength and the safe harbor of his arms, she allowed him to kiss her and kiss her until passion swept through her, her body arched and her hands clung.
Her pulse jumped as he pressed light kisses across the nape of her neck, to the V of her sweater.
She lost what was left of her restraint. A soft moan—or was it a sigh of surrender?—shuddered through her. Already feeling the dampness between her legs, and the desire pounding through her, she let him undress her, and lay her back on the covers of his bed.
He gave her a look that promised this evening would be every bit as memorable as she wanted it to be. “When you look at me like that…all sweet and womanly…it drives me wild,” he murmured, kissing her again and again until her heart beat in urgent rhythm to his.
“Oh, Tyler,” Susie whispered. The two of them had made love before, but she had never experienced anything like this intense aching need. She had never wanted him quite so recklessly. Never wanted him with all her heart and soul, the way she did right now. The way, his glance said, he wanted her, too.
She watched with a mixture of wonder and appreciation as he undressed. The soft light of the bedroom illuminated the hard ridges and taut planes of his body. His shoulders were broad and strong. Satiny skin and a mat of reddish-brown hair covered his well-defined pecs and narrowed down to a flat abdomen.
As the last of his clothing fell to the floor, and he joined her on the bed, she couldn’t contain a low sound of appreciation.
She pressed a kiss on his collarbone, shoulder, jaw. “I don’t know why I can’t resist you.”
Amusement twinkled in his eyes. He twined a lock of her hair around his fingertip, and stared deep into her eyes. “Yes,” he countered softly, meaningfully. “You do. It’s the same reason I can’t resist you.”
He kissed her gently, his tongue mating with hers, his lower half pressed erotically against hers. Engulfing her with the heat and strength of his body, he continued kissing her until Susie’s whole body was alive, quivering with urgent sensations. Susie felt so many things. Cherished. Adored. Wanted. Needed. She felt alive in a way she hadn’t ever experienced. She moaned as his hands swept down her body, molding and exploring. She arched against him, yearning for a more intimate union. And then his lips moved even lower, to the curves and slope and jutting tips of her breasts. Desire trembled inside her, making her belly feel weightless, soft. She yielded to his every kiss and caress, burying her hands in his hair as he sent her into a frenzy of wanting. She could feel his erection, hot and urgent, pressing against her, his heart pounding in his chest. They were practically combusting, and they’d barely gotten started.
He slid down her body, stroking the hollow of her stomach, kissing the nest of golden curls. And then he was nudging her thighs apart with his knee, settling between her legs, sliding ever lower. What few boundaries that existed between them dissolved. Susie threw back her head and gripped his shoulders hard, arching up to meet him as he claimed her, touching and kissing her languidly, taking her to heights and depths, exploring every nuance of desire, until there was no doubt he’d completely rocked her world, no doubt how much she needed him, and he her. Only when her response had gentled once again, did he shift upward, pulling her knees to his waist.
“That’s it,” he whispered as she opened herself up to him, and their bodies melded in boneless pleasure. “Take me. Take all of me.”
For a moment, Susie didn’t think it was going to be possible, not when he was this aroused. But as he slid his arm beneath her and lifted her against him, they slipped into a union that was wonderfully sensual, hot and wild. He caught her by the hips, letting her do for him, with the most feminine part of her, what he had already done for her. Murmuring her name between sweet, sipping kisses, he took his time, possessing her with tantalizing slowness, going ever deeper, harder, slower, even as he demanded she surrender to him completely.
The mixture of tenderness, passion, pleasure, left her feeling deliciously distraught. Their eyes locked. Their lips met. He pressed into her as deeply as he could go. She lifted her hips and offered him refuge, knowing even as they neared completion that it wasn’t enough, that there could be more.
Holding him tighter, she kissed him more and more deeply, surrendering to his every move, his every wish, until there was no more prolongin
g the inevitable and the two of them went spiraling over the edge. And then they were lost in an explosion of lust and feeling unlike anything Susie had ever known.
Long moments passed as they clung to each other breathlessly, in awe at the abandon they had shown. Susie’s body tingled with satisfaction, but, not all that surprisingly, by the time she caught her breath, her heart and mind were once again in turmoil.
Too late, Susie realized that they’d been fools to think they could contain this to a “friends who had sex” situation.
She didn’t know how Tyler felt. Except that he desired her as no man ever had or possibly ever would. And while that might be fine for him, the truth was, she could fall in love with Tyler. Not the kind of safe, emotionally distant type of relationship that she yearned for, but the I-can’t-bear-to-be-without-him love that she had always feared.
Needing someone that way scared the hell out of her.
It made her wonder what would happen if her luck ran out and her illness returned.
It made her think that she might hurt Tyler by putting him through the kind of hell she had already experienced. And that was the last thing she had ever wanted.
The last thing he deserved.
Trembling, she extricated herself from his arms. She tried not to think how easy it would be to get used to this. “I have to go.” Hurriedly, she snatched up her clothes and began to dress.
Tyler sat up, the sheet falling to his waist, an inscrutable look on his handsome face.
“Stay the night,” he urged her quietly, persuasively, looking deep into her eyes.
Susie met his glance and knew her heart was in even deeper jeopardy.
She swallowed hard and put up a hand to stave off further talk about it. “I can’t.” She inhaled a bolstering breath. What she was doing was best for both of them. “Please, Tyler, take me home.” She thrust her hands into the pockets of her jacket to still their trembling and looked him square in the eye. “Take me home right now.”
TYLER KNEW IT HAD BEEN a mistake to make love to Susie tonight, and that notion had been confirmed the moment she pulled away from him as soon as their passion was spent.
She hadn’t been ready for it, despite her protestations to the contrary. Unfortunately, it was a little too late to unring that bell now. They’d just have to make do.
And they’d start with a heart-to-heart.
Figuring a little time to pull herself together emotionally would be helpful, Tyler waited until their commandeered “date” was over and he had walked Susie up on her front porch.
“I’m not letting you go until we talk.”
Cheeks still flushed from their lovemaking, Susie ran a hand through her tousled curls. “I think we’ve demonstrated that talking gets us in trouble. As does just about everything else we do together on an ordinary, noncrisis basis.”
Tyler rested a shoulder against the porch post. He had no problem hearing her out, even if what she had to say wasn’t what he wanted to hear, or thought. He lifted a brow. “You’re saying you want us to go back to being buddies?”
Susie bit her lower lip. “Yes. No. I don’t know.” She threw up her hands and began to pace, her boots clacking across the wooden porch. “But you were right about one thing,” she said firmly. “I was mad at you for not making love to me when I suggested we become lovers.” Regret colored her expression. “And that’s not fair,” she admitted with a soft, telling shake of her head. “You were just telling me how you felt. I should have accepted it. Let it be.”
Finished being an observer in this drama of wills, Tyler closed the distance between them and took her by the shoulders. “It’s not possible for us to do that anymore, Suze.” He caressed the curve of her cheek, felt the heat of her skin beneath his palm. “We can’t go back to what we were. All we can do is move forward.”
Susie splayed both hands across his chest, and pushed away from him. “To what?” she said.
Tyler let his hands fall back to his sides. “To whatever you want. You can set the terms,” he added. “Just don’t shut me out. Don’t run away from me again.”
Instead of being reassured, as he had hoped, Susie looked all the more distraught. “I need to think.”
Tyler exhaled. “Okay.”
She glared at him. “And I have to go on a date with Bachelor Number Five that I would really appreciate you not crashing. It’s not fair to the other guy,” she mumbled.
“And it embarrasses you,” Tyler added, trying not to think how cute she was when she was angry with him.
Susie rolled her eyes. “Gee. You think?”
Tyler grinned. The return of her sassy sarcasm could only be a good sign. “All right,” he conceded reluctantly. “I’ll let your date with Bachelor Number Five happen exactly as it is supposed to unfold.” He paused, thinking. “Do you know who he is?”
Susie shook her head, her hand already on the doorknob. “My parents haven’t told me yet. I’ll have to call them to find out.”
Tyler nodded grimly. “Just do me a favor,” he instructed, “and get it over with quickly.”
Chapter Eight
If you’re headed in the right direction, each step, no matter how small, gets you closer to your goal.
“I thought Tyler McCabe was going to help you with this,” Meg said as she sat in her dining room, cutting lengths of orange, brown and gold ribbon.
Susie set up stacks of pages for the Thanksgiving gratitude journals on the marble-topped buffet against the opposite wall. She tried not to think how many “projects” she and Meg had done together over the years. Or what her childhood would have been like had her father not married Meg several years after her own mother died.
Susie shrugged and pushed away her uncharacteristic uncertainty. “I changed my mind.”
Clearly aware how unlike Susie this was, Meg lifted a brow. “And decided to have Bachelor Number Five do it with you instead?”
Susie pretended she wouldn’t rather be sitting somewhere with Tyler right now. “I figured it would be a good test of character,” she fibbed. “If Ernest Pierce is willing to help me out with something this laborious on our first date, he can’t be all bad.”
“Oh, he was willing all right.” Finished with the first rolls of ribbon, Meg got three more out of the fabric store bag. “But back to Tyler. What is going on between the two of you?”
Susie avoided looking directly into Meg’s eyes. “What makes you think anything is going on?”
Meg smiled. “Chalk it up to mother’s intuition.”
Susie took a page from each stack, ran a length of ribbon through the prepunched holes in the paper and secured the journal with a bow, all without saying a word.
“It might help you to confide in someone,” Meg said after a moment.
Susie supposed that was true enough. She released a frustrated breath and pushed a hand through her hair. “He wants us to be friends.”
Meg frowned. “I thought you were.”
“He means all the time, not just when one of us has got some sort of misery going on in our lives,” Susie explained.
Meg sat back in her chair. “And that’s a problem?”
It was if she fell in love with him.
“I’m attracted to him,” Susie said with another sigh.
Meg scoffed and continued cutting ribbon. “Who doesn’t know that?”
Susie’s hands stilled. “What do you mean?”
Meg gave her an indulgent smile. “Honey, every time you look at him…Even your father can see the emotional intimacy between you and Tyler. And your father tries not to see those kinds of things when it comes to his daughters, if you know what I mean.”
She certainly did. Susie relaxed. “Dad can be a tad overprotective.”
Meg chuckled. “Just a tad?”
“Okay, a lot.” Which was why she couldn’t let on that she and Tyler had made love again.
Neither Meg nor Luke would approve of her having recreational sex with no strings attached. And yet, how
could she regret something that had felt so good, that had made her feel so warm and wanted and alive?
Meg narrowed her gaze. “Has Tyler been putting the moves on you?”
Susie flushed and went back to arranging pages in the right order. “Why would you think that?” She tried to sound calm.
“Maybe Tyler wants your relationship to change.”
I know he does.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Susie looked down and willed her fingers to stop trembling. “It’s helped me, knowing that he is always there for me in a crisis.” She bit her lip. “If we were to pursue something else, and then one of us changed our mind or it didn’t work out the way we hoped and planned, things could get very awkward, very fast.”
Meg nodded with understanding. “On the other hand, if you don’t allow yourself the freedom to see where your relationship with Tyler could go, you could be missing out on something really terrific.”
Which was, Susie thought ruefully, precisely the dilemma she had been wrestling with since last night.
Unfortunately, despite the passage of time and much consideration, she was no closer to knowing what to do.
She only knew the thought of not making love with Tyler again very soon left her feeling very blue.
The doorbell rang. Relieved to have this heart-to-heart cut short before Meg discovered anything else, Susie looked at her watch. “Good ol’ Ernie Pierce is five minutes early.”
Meg smiled in approval. “That must mean he is eager to start your date.”
Susie sighed. If only she were half as enthusiastic. But how could she be when all she was thinking about was the way Tyler’s body had felt next to hers? They weren’t committed to each other, yet here she was, feeling guilty and disloyal as all-get-out…almost as if she were cheating on Tyler, just meeting with the other guy.
“You want me to get that?” Meg asked, when Susie still hadn’t moved, and the doorbell rang again.
Susie gave her a tentative smile. “If you wouldn’t mind, that would be great.”
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