“Oh.”
Tyler exhaled. It wasn’t his fault Susie had chickened out on loving him. He had offered Susie a future, marriage, children. She had turned it all down without a backward glance. “Don’t look at me that way, Mom,” Tyler warned.
Annie lifted her hands. “I can’t help it. I had so hoped the two of you had finally come to your senses and seen what your father and I had noticed years ago.”
Tyler shoved his hands through his hair. “And what is that?” he demanded.
“That the two of you are meant for each other.”
Tyler strode into the kitchen, intent on getting a fresh, hot cup of coffee for both of them, only to find out the automatic shut-off feature on the coffeemaker had kicked in, leaving the brewed liquid every bit as stone-cold as the beverage in his mug. “Yeah, well, Susie doesn’t believe that,” Tyler muttered, dumping his cup in the sink.
Annie cast an approving look at the three pies on the kitchen countertop. She moved closer, her tone gentle. “The way Susie was looking at you last weekend, the amount of time she has been spending with you lately, says otherwise.”
“I agree with you,” Tyler said flatly. “Susie does not. She thinks she can’t be with me because she had cancer and could conceivably get it at some time in the future again.”
“You can’t convince her we’re all at risk for tragedy at some times in our lives?”
“I tried. Believe me,” Tyler confessed, miserable all over again. He swallowed around the tightness in his throat. “I told her I’d take the risk. I even offered to adopt if it turns out she can’t conceive because of the chemotherapy. But she’s not changing her mind.”
Another lift of the brow. “I see.”
Tyler frowned at his mother. “You’re looking at me like you think it’s all my fault.”
“Well—” Annie made an offhand gesture “—I know how you can be.”
Tyler braced himself for the criticism sure to come. “And how’s that?”
“Let’s just say you can be rather abrupt in your decision-making process.”
“So I’m quick to decide what is right and wrong in any given situation, so I’m quick to figure out what I want and go right after it? So what?”
“Let me remind you that it was only recently that you believed you weren’t cut out for a lasting relationship of any kind, save those you already had with your own family.”
No one had to tell him how shortsighted he had been, how foolishly hard on himself. “That’s all changed, Mom.”
Annie perched on the stool and looked at him compassionately. “When? How? Why?”
The answer to that was easy. Tyler’s gut tightened at the memory. “It happened the day I heard Susie had taken her chemo wigs in to be worked on and I realized I could lose Susie all over again. The thought of that happening without me ever really having her in my life was unbearable to me.”
“So you started pursuing her.”
Tyler nodded. “And I stopped looking back, stopped worrying about things outside my control. The way things were going between us I thought—hoped—she had done the same.”
“Now you realize that was not the case,” Annie guessed, understanding in her low tone.
“Right.” Tyler paced back and forth.
“And because Susie isn’t just like you—because she didn’t make up her mind in the heat of the instant and stick with it—you’re dropping her like a hot potato,” Annie concluded tartly.
Tyler winced and swung back around. “I didn’t break up with Susie, Mom. She broke up with me.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Annie remained unimpressed. “And you’re accepting it.”
Tyler heard a wealth of accusation in that single sentence. He clenched his jaw. “I assume there is a point here?”
His mother smiled. “Since when do you give up on anything you want?”
“I THOUGHT I MIGHT FIND you alone this morning,” Meg Carrigan said, shaking off the rain before stepping inside the potting shed behind Susie’s business.
Susie put up a gloved hand. She was wearing jeans and an old sweatshirt. She had to leave in an hour, and she still hadn’t showered. Meg, on the other hand, looked ready to go.
“I already heard about the change of venue for the dinner,” Susie said.
Silence rebounded between them. Meg stepped closer, being careful not to brush up against the dirt-smeared wooden table. She did not look at all surprised to find Susie working on a holiday, even though the landscape and garden center was closed. Maybe because Susie had done it so many times before.
“That’s not why I’m here,” Meg said quietly.
Susie took a deep breath and then through sheer force of will, pushed back the tears she could feel gathering behind her eyes. The scent of leafy plants, damp air, and fresh dirt lent an earthy smell to the shed she found a lot more comforting than her thoughts, most of which centered around Tyler McCabe, and the love and passion they had found, and then been forced—for his sake—to give up.
Susie swallowed around the tightness of her throat. “Then why are you here?” she asked eventually.
Meg fingered the yellow blossom and red leaf on a holiday poinsettia plant—one of many Susie was preparing for sale. “I figured you might be upset about Rebecca and Trevor’s news.”
“I’m happy for them, Mom.” Susie set one gold-foil-wrapped pot aside, picked up another.
“Of course you are.” Meg continued to study Susie, as usual, not missing a trick. “You’re also sad for you.”
Susie refused to look at Meg as she concentrated on her work. “I dealt with the ramifications of my chemo long ago,” she reminded her mother numbly.
Meg gently shook her head. “If that were true, you would have been out having tons of fun and dating all these years instead of slaving away like there was no tomorrow.”
Susie kept her head down. “I was building a business.”
“And hiding from the possibility of more pain. I know,” Meg said with compassion, laying her hand on Susie’s arm, “because I’ve done it, too.”
Susie looked up, aware her heart was pounding. “When?”
“During the years before your father and I married.”
Feeling more hopeless and depressed than ever, Susie picked up another decorative plastic container and partially filled it with planting soil. “I don’t see the comparison.”
“Don’t you?” Meg challenged. “I waited five years before telling him I had become pregnant and given birth to his child.”
“Your reasons were noble,” Susie argued back, tamping the soil down around the plant. “You knew my dad had already married someone else and started a family of his own. You didn’t want to disrupt that.”
Meg nodded sagely. “That’s what I told myself.” She paused to make sure Susie was listening. “The reality was I deprived Luke of the first five years of Jeremy’s life. Had your father and I not serendipitously ended up taking jobs in the same place, we might never have seen each other again, I might never have known your mother had died, and Luke was struggling to bring you three girls up on his own the same way I was struggling to rear Jeremy on my own.”
“What does that have to do with my situation?”
“I just talked to Annie McCabe. Trevor told her you broke up with him last night.”
Susie hadn’t known she could hurt this much. She hadn’t known she could love this much. “It’s for his own good. I would never have even gotten involved with him if it hadn’t been for the fact that he always said he didn’t want to marry or have kids. I took him at his word,” Susie remembered wistfully. “Then I saw him with all the kids on Saturday.” Her tears started once again. “I saw the joy in his eyes when he learned Trevor and Rebecca were expecting a baby.” Susie paused to remove her glove and wipe her eyes. “I knew it would be wrong to deny him that.”
Meg rummaged in her pocket for a tissue. “And he just accepted your excuse.”
“No.” Susie blew her nose. “He argued w
ith me. Said we could adopt.”
Meg looked more thoughtful than upset. “But you don’t want to do that.”
Susie released a quavering breath, shook her head. “I don’t want to hurt him, Mom.”
Meg reached over and patted her hand. “It’s a good thing you’re not doing that now, then.”
Chapter Eleven
Never give up. Never ever ever give up.
The rain had stopped by the time Susie arrived at the Chamberlain Movie Studio, just outside of Laramie, Texas, at noon on Thursday. The sky was still gloomy, the ground still glistening with dampness, but the air that had been so cold and wintry the night before was warming up. By the time they sat down to dinner at five, it might actually be sunny.
At least Susie hoped that would be the case, as she lifted the large box of Thanksgiving gratitude journals from the front seat and headed inside, where tons of activity was going on. Tables were being set up, cloths smoothed, centerpieces unpacked, a temporary kitchen set up.
Fortunately, the table designated for the gratitude journals was easy to find. Susie’d just set her box down next to it when Emmaline Clark came skipping up to her. Emmaline was wearing one of Susie’s old wigs. It had been cut and adjusted to fit her pixie face. Despite her thinness, Emmaline looked happy as could be. “Guess what?” Emmaline announced, beaming. “I’ve had my last chemotherapy treatment!”
Susie enfolded her in a hug. “Oh, honey, that’s wonderful!”
Emmaline hugged Susie back, then helped her stack journals onto the tabletop, chattering all the while. “I get to go back to school as soon as I get my strength and weight up. And in the meantime, I’ve got plenty of company. Kurt and Kyle and their cousins have all been stopping by to see me.”
“They’re great kids.”
Emmaline looked in the direction from which she’d come. A group of high school kids were motioning for Emmaline to join them.
“Well, I’ve got to go.” Emmaline and Susie stacked the last of the journals side by side. “I just wanted to tell you my news. And let you know I haven’t forgotten my promise to work for you at the landscape center next spring.”
Susie nodded. “I’ll be looking forward to it.”
Emmaline dashed off. Susie picked up the empty box. A familiar set of footsteps sounded behind her. She turned, expecting to see Tyler and found his brother, Teddy, standing there instead.
Her face fell.
“Don’t look so happy to see me,” Teddy teased.
Susie flushed. “Sorry.”
Teddy relieved her of the empty box. “I’ll take care of this. You’re needed on Soundstage 16.”
Susie paused. “Why?”
Teddy shrugged in that amiable way of his and lifted his hands. “I don’t know. I don’t ask questions. I just follow orders.” He winked. “And I’d advise you to do the same.”
Susie knew the last-minute change of venue had created a lot more work for everyone. Although the women in charge seemed to be handling it well. Susie wished she were as calm. That was a tall order, given the mess her personal life was currently in.
Susie studied the laid-back horse rancher who was also her sister Amy’s best friend in the world. And like every other McCabe man, a real stand-up guy.
Susie swallowed around the tightness of her throat. “Have you seen Tyler?”
“Here?” Teddy scanned the large soundstage, which was being set up like a fancy ballroom, complete with velvety red-and-gold carpeting and a raised parquet dance floor. “Not yet.”
“Okay.” Disappointed, Susie started to move away. Then stopped, turned back, not caring how it looked, she had to know. “But he is coming today, isn’t he?” she asked anxiously.
“So far as I know. Why?” Teddy looked curious. “Is there some reason Tyler wouldn’t show up?”
Susie did not want to go there.
She shrugged and smiled. “I better get a move on.”
To her relief, Teddy made no attempt to stop her. Susie headed out of the big brick building to the parking lot. Guests were still arriving in droves. Susie scanned the area but she did not see Tyler’s pickup truck as she made her way through the sea of buildings, noting the bold black numbers painted on the side of each, until she found Soundstage 16.
She walked to the door, stepped inside.
Wondered promptly if she had made a mistake.
The soundstage was set up as an old-fashioned saloon, suitable for the Old West. That was not surprising, since Beau Chamberlain’s movie studio primarily filmed movies with Western settings.
What was unusual was that there was no one else around.
Nothing she could see that needed to be carted back to the Thanksgiving festivities.
And that was when the swinging doors behind her opened, and a cowboy handsome enough to star in a film walked through.
TYLER HAD KNOWN IT WAS a risk, setting Susie up this way, but he wanted their conversation to be private. Fortunately, family friend Beau Chamberlain had understood and given him the keys to this building.
Susie caught her breath at the sight of him. He felt like doing the same. She was a vision, blond curls a golden halo about her head, cheeks flushed pink, golden-brown eyes shimmering with unchecked emotion. She was wearing one of those long flowing skirts she favored. Today’s was a beautiful burgundy. A matching V-neck sweater with three-quarter sleeves hugged her slender torso, emphasizing her delicate curves. A cameo necklace on a strand of velvet adorned her neck, dangling orbs hung from her ears.
She came closer.
He noted she had on her fancy suede high-heeled boots instead of her usual sturdy engineer’s boots. And she smelled every bit as heavenly as she looked, he noted, closing the distance between them.
Like a meadow of flowers after a rain.
When the two of them were close enough to touch, they squared off. She tipped her face up to his. “What’s going on?” she asked in a soft, serious voice.
Tyler wanted her comfortable before they began what might be the most important and possibly difficult conversation he’d ever had in his life. He nodded at the fully functioning movie set behind them. “Want a drink?”
Susie twined her hands together. Her eyes remained on his. “I’d prefer an explanation.” Abruptly, she looked as nervous and out of sorts as he.
Tyler nodded, aware she had every right to be on edge, given the way things had ended between them the evening before. “Take a seat at the bar,” he told her huskily, “and I’ll try to give you one.”
Susie walked over, her long full skirt swirling over the top of her calf-high boots. She climbed up on a stool and rested an arm on the top of the polished mahogany bar.
Tyler moved behind the counter, and got out two tall tulip-shaped glasses. He winked at her. “One sarsaparilla coming up.”
She grinned at his choice of beverage.
He hoped this was a good sign.
Tyler filled the glasses with the nonalcoholic carbonated drink popular in the Old West. “I know I’m an old-fashioned guy.” Tyler slid the glasses across the bar and came around to join her.
He nixed the seat and stood beside her, facing her, one elbow on the bar. Telling himself the cool reservation in her eyes was only to be expected, he continued softly, “The thing is, Suze, I think you are just as traditional at heart.” Tyler covered her hand with his own, tightened his fingers over hers. “Which is why I proposed marriage in the first place. I figured if you and I were going to be spending every night together we might as well go ahead and make it a lasting arrangement.”
Okay, Susie thought, studying his hazel eyes. This wasn’t quite what she was expecting to hear, any more than his superpragmatic attitude was what she had hoped to witness.
But still…a step in the right direction, however small…could only be appreciated for what it was.
A step closer to their goal.
Tyler rubbed his thumb across the inside of her wrist. “I assumed—wrongly, I see now—that we were on t
he same page.”
The regret in his tone had her nerves jumping. Beginning to see she had done her job being noble far too well, she told him, “We were.”
Tyler shook his head and his mouth twisted in a rueful line. “That was presumptuous of me. And if there is anything a true gentleman should never be, it’s presumptuous when it comes to his lady.”
His lady.
Susie paused, knowing pride was an easy thing to let go of, considering all that was at stake. Gathering her courage around her like an invisible cloak, she put her hands across the warm solid wall of Tyler’s chest, and whispered, “I thought we broke up.” Were still broken up…
“That’s the thing about us ranchers.” He began to grin his sexy mischief and lust smile that she loved so much. “We’re pretty good at fixing things.”
“I see,” Susie murmured, spirits lifting even as she studied him in fascination. She could see the desire in his eyes and the shiver inside her intensified. “And how do you intend to fix this?”
Tyler lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, like a knight paying homage to his queen. “By giving you whatever you need, whenever you need it.” He drew her to her feet, and into his arms. “If that’s space, then you’ve got it.” He sifted a hand through her hair. “If it’s companionship or sex or just a friend to talk with then you’ve got it. And if it’s love,” he murmured, tilting her face up to his, “you will always have that. Because I love you, Susie, with all my heart. So whatever terms you want to set out for us,” he told her gruffly, “are going to be just fine.”
“Oh, Tyler.” Susie flushed with heat from head to toe, aware she had never been happier. She closed her eyes as his lips moved over hers, once and then again and again in a sweet, lasting kiss that spoke volumes about what they felt. Yet there was still so much she needed to say to him, too. Slowly, reluctantly, she pushed him away and ended the kiss.
“I can’t ask you to do all the giving when you’re getting nothing in return,” she told him, ready now to make the changes she had been afraid to make before.
Tyler’s eyes darkened seriously and his low voice filled with all the love and tenderness he felt for her. “All I need is you, Susie.”
The Rancher's Family Thanksgiving Page 18