“She doesn’t.” Andrew shook his head. “I even tried to give her a hug, because you said people sometimes need hugs. I don’t think she liked it.”
Ah fuck. He was talking about my mother.
“Maybe she’s having a hard day. You know, even you get grumpy sometimes and don’t want hugs.”
I had to hand it to Serena, she had the opportunity to skewer my mother in Andrew’s eyes, but wasn’t taking it.
“Are you going to sleep now?” she asked.
“Yes. Daddy said he’d read me a book.”
“Well, you have sweet dreams. I miss you, baby. But I know you’re having so much fun with your daddy.”
“I miss you, Mommy.”
I heard her blow him a kiss. He leaned forward and kissed the phone. Then he held it up to me. I took it and saw her still on the line.
“Let me talk to your mom for a minute, okay? I’ll be right back.”
“’Kay.” Andrew picked up the book and started to read while I stepped into the hallway.
“I think he’ll be okay now,” she said. It wasn’t what I expected. I told her I’d protect him from my mother, and I hadn’t done a good job of it. I’d expected her to go at me on it.
“She didn’t say anything bad to him,” I said, feeling like I should address it anyway.
She looked down. “Kids can sense how people feel about them. He thinks she doesn’t like him.”
“I’ll talk to him.”
“Maybe you need to talk to her,” she snapped. Immediately I saw her eyes turn to regret. “I’m sorry…I just…he’s innocent in all this.”
“I’ll deal with it. I promise.”
She nodded. “Thank you.” She looked tired and sad and a lot of what I felt.
“How did you do all this by yourself?”
She smiled warmly. “I had my parents help. But most I learned as I went. I’ve had time to adjust and adapt. You’ll get it.”
“I don’t know. I don’t have even half of what I need.” I shook my head, starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by it all.
“Like what?”
“A booster seat. Toys. All of it. I’ve started a list.”
“You’ll need a car seat if you want to take him in your car,” she said.
“Jesus, how much does one little kid need?”
“I can give you a list, if you like.”
“How will I know what to choose?” I ran my hand through my hair.
“The people at the shop, or maybe you can bring your sister.”
I snorted. “Bri would be useless. I’d probably come home with a ten-foot-tall stuffed panda or something.”
Serena smiled, and I had an urge to reach out to touch her. Not in a sexual sense, but just in a camaraderie.
“Maybe you could take me,” I said.
She jerked in surprise. “Ah…yeah, sure. I’d be happy to help.”
Feeling a bit awkward I nodded. “Good. Great. I should probably go read his book.”
“Give him a kiss for me.”
“I will.”
“Goodnight, Devin.”
I ended the call and put the phone back in my pocket. I entered the bedroom to find Andrew asleep with his book tucked under his arm. I made sure he had his covers pulled up and kissed his forehead. I did it. My first day as a dad.
27
Serena
Twice, I had my coat on and was heading out the door to Devin’s house. Not because I didn’t think he was doing a good job, but because the idea of my son thinking his grandmother Roarke didn’t like him. Seriously, what was wrong with her?
Then I’d remember that Devin was there and would protect Andrew. And I wasn’t without sin. The difference between me and her was that I recognized what I did was wrong and felt horrible about it. It was possible I’d lost my one chance at true happiness because I’d made a big mistake.
I didn’t sleep well, and I was distracted all day, looking at the clock until Devin brought Andrew home. Finally, at seven, my buzzer rang and I let them in the building.
I scooped Andrew into my arms before my door was fully open.
“Mommy you’re squishing me,” Andrew giggled.
“I’m sorry. I missed you so much. I think you grew.”
His eyes widened. “Really?”
“Here’s his stuff,” Devin said, handing me Andrew’s backpack and suitcase.
“Thank you. I have something for you if you can wait a minute.”
He shrugged and stepped in, shutting the door behind him.
“You need to get into the tub and then to bed.”
“Can Daddy give me a bath?” He looked to Devin.
“Your daddy might have other plans.”
“I don’t mind,” Devin said.
I was an idiot to be so happy to hear that. He’s here for Andrew, I reminded myself. Devin would be nice to me because I was Andrew’s mother, but it didn’t mean anything.
“Okay. Why don’t you show your dad what to do,” I told Andrew.
“Come on, Daddy.” He took Devin’s hand and led him to the bathroom.
I put the items in Andrew’s backpack away, and his clothes in the hamper. Then I tiptoed to the bathroom, looking in as Andrew sat in the tub. I think there were more bubbles than water, but Andrew was smiling as was Devin.
I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture. If this was the best I’d have in terms of a family, I’d be okay with it. It was better than I deserved after what I’d done.
I left them alone, pouring a glass of wine and reading my book while I waited for them to finish. Twenty minutes later, Andrew ran out naked and giggling.
“Hey!” Devin followed him, his shirt wet and soap on his arms.
“Problem?” I quirked an amused brow at him.
“He’s slippery.” He stood looking down at a giggling Andrew.
“Catch me, Daddy.”
Devin lurched, but missed Andrew. “I think he might have a future as an athlete.”
“I’m going to be a businessman,” Andrew said. “That’s what oldest boy Roarke’s do.”
My insides went cold. I jerked my gaze to Devin, whose expression seemed to match my emotion.
“You’ll be allowed to do what you want. I promise,” Devin said.
“Can I be a pilot and a businessman?” Andrew asked.
“Yes.” Devin reached out and grabbed Andrew. “Got you.”
“Get your jammies on, Andrew. It’s past your bedtime,” I said.
Devin took Andrew to his nook and I could hear them talking. It reminded me of that first day in the park when they’d so easily taken to each other.
I stood and went to the nook. “Ready to say goodnight?”
“Yep. Daddy, when can I come see you again?”
“Soon. I’ll talk to your mom about it.” Devin hugged him. “Goodnight, son.”
“Goodnight, Daddy.”
Devin moved out of the nook.
“I still have that thing for you,” I said to him. “If you can wait a minute.”
“I’ll wait.”
I sat on Andrew’s bed. “I’m so happy you had fun, baby.”
“I did. Everyone is nice.” He lowered his voice. “Except his mommy. But Auntie Bri says she’s mean to everyone.”
“You get some sleep, okay? I know Grandma and Grandpa will want to hear about all your fun tomorrow.”
“Goodnight Mommy.”
I hugged him and gave him a kiss. I turned out the light, and closed the screen I used to block off the area then went up the short hall to the living area.
Devin was looking over my bookshelves. “You read a lot.”
“I do. A book and wine are my me-time.” I went to the kitchenette and picked up the paper from the counter. I’d filled it with the things Devin might want to have when it was his turn to have Andrew.
“What did you do last night?” he asked.
“I tried not to miss Andrew and I read and had a glass of wine. Maybe two.”
He smiled, and I was glad that he was in a place where we could be civil.
I handed him the list. “Here’s some things you might want and some things that Andrew likes.”
He took the list, scanning it. “Thank you.”
“Do you want a glass of wine?”
He looked at me and I felt like maybe I’d gone one step too far.
“I mean…only that…we’re co-parenting now. If you have questions or something…” Shut up Serena, I said to myself. “Or not.”
He inhaled a breath. “I’d take a glass.”
My heart did a flip. My brain told it to settle down. He was being nice, not forgiving me. Not giving me a second chance.
I got him a glass of wine, handing it to him as he sat on the couch. I sat at the far end so he wouldn’t think I was trying to rekindle what I’d doused.
“He’s a great kid, Serena.”
I smiled. “He really is.”
“From now on, he’ll be staying with me at my home. Overall everything went well. Bri thinks the world of him and even my father got a kick out of him.”
“Your mom?”
He shook his head and took a sip of the wine. “I won’t let her hurt him, Serena. I promise.”
I nodded, but wasn’t convinced she wouldn’t somehow get her venom on my son.
“I had it out with her this morning. My mother has always been focused on image and breeding and all that bullshit, as you know. But I’ll be honest, I was shocked to learn she’d tried to pay you off.”
“So, she admitted it?” I asked.
He laughed derisively. “Her response was ‘Of course, I did,’ like that was a normal thing to do. I’m sorry for that Serena. That doesn’t mean I’m over what you did, but I have a better sense of why you made some of the decisions you did.”
“Thank you.”
“But I’m his father. You can’t make decisions for him regarding my mother without me. Not anymore.”
“Yes, of course.”
He sipped his wine and stared off as if thoughts of his mother were rambling around in his brain.
“Devin?”
“Hmm?” He looked at me but I wasn’t sure he was seeing me.
“I really am sorry.” I pressed my hand over my heart. “I know the words aren’t enough, but I wish I’d done it differently.”
He pursed his lips. “Do you wish you’d avoided me? Turned down the job of doing the anniversary party?”
“I can’t deny that at first I wanted to keep you away, but now, if I could do it over, I’d have told you at the beach that first time.”
“You had many opportunities.”
I looked down into my wine. “I was trying to find a way where I could tell you and keep you too. But there was no way. I’d accepted that. I was going to tell you the night after the flight. And yes, when you said you wanted to make love, I chose that because I was sure it would be the last time. That was selfish of me.”
“So, all that time you were pushing me away, it was because of Andrew?”
I hated to admit it out loud because it sounded so awful. “I didn’t want to. I wanted you, but I was afraid of losing you. It was wrong. Not just to you but to Andrew too.” Shame and guilt overwhelmed me, and tears flowed. “I thought I was a better person.”
“I thought so too.” He set his wine down and stood. “Thank you for the wine. I’ll be in touch about seeing Andrew again.”
I sniffed and rose to walk him out. “You know where to find us.”
As he walked out the door, he stopped. “Oh, thank your mom for the recipe. I’m thinking of suggesting it for the menu on St. Patrick's. Would she be okay with that?”
I smiled. “She’d love that. But you have to use mutton. It’s not the same without it.”
He gave me a small smile. “I’ll let the chef know that.”
As I settled into bed last night, I felt good about Devin and I co-parenting Andrew together. He was hurt by my actions and not likely to forgive me, but he was able to push his personal anger at me aside for Andrew. Since Andrew was the most important part of this equation, I had to be happy with that.
28
Devin
There had been a minute in Serena’s living room where I’d nearly taken her into my arms. She’d started to cry, and even after what she’d done, it tore me up inside. How had I gone from wanting her to feel like shit for what she’d done to hoping she could forgive herself and move on? Maybe because I believed her. In her shoes, I might have made some of the same choices. Was she selfish? A little bit. But I also believed she genuinely worried about Andrew. And with good reason, as it turned out.
After breakfast that morning, Bri took Andrew to play and I had it out with my mother, but she didn’t budge on her position. Was it simply because Serena wasn’t the right social status that she hated her? Or that I hadn’t been with the woman she picked? Or maybe my mother was just a bitch.
Aside from having fun with Andrew, I noticed that my father perked up some as well. My father tried to teach Andrew chess, and later Andrew taught him Go Fish. Why couldn’t my mother be like a normal grandparent?
Over the next week, I called Andrew every night through Serena’s phone. After I said goodnight to him, Serena and I would talk. The first couple of nights, it was a short conversation, usually around Andrew. But then one night we somehow got off-topic, where I was telling her about my challenges in running the business. When we hung up, I realized we’d been on the phone for nearly two hours. The next few nights were the same, until Andrew came to stay with me on Saturday.
On that night, she called to say goodnight to him, and then she and I talked again for an hour. By Wednesday the following week, I found myself looking forward to our chats, and going so far as wanting to see her. She was everything that I’d remembered from five years ago and even when I first got back. Funny. Smart. Sweet. Down to earth. Sexy.
Last night, I woke in the middle of night with a raging hardon dreaming about her. My dick was so hard, I had to grab a tissue and jerk him off. What was I thinking when I made the leap into bliss? Serena’s sweet mouth sucking me off.
It didn’t make sense that I was still drawn to her. She lied. She kept my son from me. While my mother played a part in the beginning and did take some of the blame off Serena, I couldn’t get past all the time we’d spent together over the last weeks and she never said a word about Andrew. Could I forgive that? How could I trust her?
St. Patrick’s Day was the following week, and we were in the final plans of the Roarke’s party, including serving Irish Stew. It was listed on the menu as Mrs. Moore’s Authentic Irish Mutton Stew. I asked my assistant to be sure to extend invitations to Mr. and Mrs. Moore, my treat.
Nikita and her team, which included Serena, were at the Roarke this afternoon, going over logistics, checking that all the liquor and food was ordered, and finalizing the menu.
I was talking with the chef when I noticed my mother walking across the dining area.
“Why is she here?” I asked.
“She likes to check the menu for St. Patrick’s Day,” Chef said.
“She’s not going to like the stew.” I shook my head, as it worked overtime to try and figure out how to intercept her.
The chef gave me a sheepish smile. “We have a decoy menu for her, if you like.”
I quirked a brow.
Chef shrugged. “We like your menu. We want to serve it, but we’ve been working with Mrs. Roarke on St. Patrick's for years.”
“Show her the decoy. I’ll handle any issues on the night if it becomes a thing.”
The chef nodded.
“I should see what other trouble she’s making.” I strode through the restaurant, but didn’t see her there or in the lounge. I headed to the banquet and meeting rooms. A few were in use.
When I heard my mother’s terse voice, I stopped outside the door.
“I will expose you,” my mother hissed.
“Mrs. Roarke, I don’t know what you t
hink you have on me.”
Jesus, my mother had cornered Serena.
“I tell you what, I’ve got a check in your name for five million. You take it and your bastard child and make a new start somewhere else.”
What the fuck? My blood boiled that my mother would call Andrew a bastard child.
“I didn’t take your money the last two times you offered it, why would I do it now?”
I had to hand it to Serena, she was playing it cool.
“Ten million.”
“I can’t be bought, Mrs. Roarke.”
“What is that look you’re giving me? Do you know who I am?” my mother seethed.
“I don’t understand why you’d do something to hurt your son. He loves Andrew. And Andrew, he’s your grandson—”
“He is not my grandson! I’m going to prove it too. I’ll expose you and Devin will see you for who you really are. He’ll leave you in an instant. You don’t love him anyway. Tell me what you really want.”
God, my mother could be horrible. I really needed to stop this. I was about to step in, when Serena said, “Mrs. Roarke, in a perfect world. Devin and Andrew and I would be a happy family. I love your son. More than anything. I ruined that, so you don’t have to worry about him sullying your family with a lower-class woman—”
Jesus fucking Christ.
She continued, “Now as far as proving Andrew isn’t your grandson, that’s not possible.”
“We’ll see about that,” my mother scoffed.
“I was a virgin. Devin is the only man I’ve been with. If it’s not his, then Andrew is an immaculate conception.”
Jesus. My mother didn’t need to know all that.
“Listen to me,” my mother’s voice held a venom I’d never heard before. “I have that boy’s DNA and when I’m done testing it, it will show that you’re a liar. Take the money and leave.”
“No.”
I’d heard enough. I walked into the room. Serena’s gaze caught mine, and she looked a little dazed.
She lifted her chin. “I appreciate your sharing your thoughts, Mrs. Roarke. I have to pass.” She hurried toward the door.
I reached out to take her arm as she passed me. “Serena.”
An Irish Affair (Heart 0f Hope Book 2) Page 20