by Lauren Dodd
He rushes around to my side of the car and helps me out. I put my arm through his and walk to the entrance of the restaurant, not hating the feeling of his solid warm body against the side of mine.
The entrance is filled with other couples craving a warm bowl of pasta on a cold night and I realize that we may be in for a wait. I hear Andrew give his name to a hostess and am pleasantly surprised when she tells us to follow her. I march obediently behind her winding around a packed restaurant until we come to a small table in a back room.
Andrew helps me slide my coat off as the hostess places our menus on our table and tells us that someone will be with us shortly. I slide into my chair, my eyes taking in Andrew as he slips off his own coat. He’s wearing a shiny gray button-down dress shirt and black slacks that his football player physique fill out nicely.
I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit to checking him out once or twice when he sauntered into class. There is something sexy about the way he carries himself, like he’s comfortable in his own skin and doesn’t need to apologize for it. A dormant feeling that I thought was gone forever comes over me giving me hope.
“Is something wrong?” Andrew asks, bringing me back to the present. He and the waitress are looking at me, concerned.
“Oh, sorry. Just water for me, please.” I say, trying to act normal. The waitress disappears to get our drinks. Andrew keeps his eyes on me, obviously not buying that I’m okay. “I’m just really glad you asked me out.”
The cutest blush spreads across his full cheeks at my remark. I watch his lips and wonder how it would feel to kiss them. I move my menu to block my view of him before I can say, or do, anything else to embarrass myself.
Andrew starts busying himself recommending several different dishes to me as I peruse the menu. I look over my menu at him and his eyes meet mine and smile. The waitress brings out drinks then announces she will give us a minute to decide. Andrew must be deep in thought trying to decide which of his favorites he is going to go with tonight because he doesn’t say anything for several minutes.
I’ve almost made up my mind about my dinner when the tenor of a familiar voice hits my ears causing an instant physical reaction. I jerk my menu down and focus toward the direction of the voice. I instantly recognize the walk of shame girl from Seth’s apartment months ago sitting just a few tables away. She looks different, not disheveled now, but gorgeous. She is talking animatedly to the man with his back to me. My body instantly recognizes every movement, the set of the shoulders, the back of the head, and the voice of my ex-boyfriend.
I feel sick realizing that he is a mere ten feet away and could turn around at any moment and look my direction. I don’t feel strong enough for that kind of confrontation. I haven’t had enough time to prepare for this. I’m still not over him.
I’m mortified by the part of me that wants to storm over and pull walk of shame girl out of her chair. Seth belongs to me, not her. I watch his hands grip the edge of the table and I want them on me. A thousand memories of Seth making love to me swirl around in my head making it hard to breathe. I want him. I need him. I can’t live without him.
“Cassidy, are you all right? Your face is so white,” Andrew asks, covering my hand with his. The warmth from his hand brings me back to the present. I’m on a date with another guy and Seth doesn’t belong to me anymore.
“No, I’m fine. Sorry,” I say, my eyes lingering at Seth’s table.
“Don’t be sorry. We can go if you want,” Andrew offers.
I watch the happiness drain from walk of shame girl’s face as Seth says something to her. I can tell by the stiffness in his shoulders that something has happened to upset him. The beautiful girl looks absolutely miserable as she tries to console him. He jerks off her outstretched hand and starts ranting about something that I can’t overhear.
That’s when I remember what it was really like to be with Seth. He could be fun and he knew how to make my body respond to him, but I spent most of our time together trying to anticipate what would keep him happy. But it didn’t matter how hard I tried, something would always happen to upset him. It was exhausting trying to make him happy. My jealousy toward the girl fades and is instantly replaced with pity. She’s absolutely miserable and she could have been me.
“Cassidy?” I hear Andrew say.
“Would it be okay if we left?” I ask, hating that I’m disappointing Andrew who is trying so hard to make this a perfect date. He follows my eyes and seems to know what is happening without me saying a word. He slips back into his coat and helps me into mine. Andrew apologizes to the confused waitress and we rush back out into the cold winter air.
As we walk around the side of the restaurant, I can feel Seth’s eyes pulling me back. I stop in the middle of the sidewalk and look into the warm glow coming from a side window. Just as I suspected, his eyes are locked on me.
I stand there for a moment letting him have control of me one last time. Remembering how he used to touch me and longing for it. The look he’s giving me tells me that he still wants me, too. I could march right into the restaurant and take him away from that girl and I know he would come away with me.
But I don’t really want that. I owe a lot to Seth. He helped make me strong when I needed it most. I probably never would have told Dad about Phil, so even though Seth did it for his own selfish reasons, it still changed my life for the better. A part of me will always love Seth. But just like Chastity held me down for so many years, Seth would insist on doing the same, and I deserve better than that. I deserve better than him.
All this time we’ve been apart and I’ve been obsessing over him, I was afraid that he would remain my weakness forever. But he can’t have that power over me unless I give it to him which I’m not willing to do anymore.
I feel a spark against my back and I’m confused on how Seth can be touching me when I’m looking right at him still sitting in the restaurant. Then I realize that it’s Andrew’s hand on the small of my back, gazing down protectively at me. All this time I was so afraid that I would never feel anything like I did when I was with Seth, but I was wrong.
“Kiss me, Andrew,” I tell him, knowing he must think I’m crazy.
He brings his full lips down on mine and kisses me so passionately that my knees nearly buckle. It is a perfect kiss that rolls through my body like thunder. When he finally pulls away I let him lead me to the car, never glancing back at the window.
The End
Lauren Dodd is the pen name of an award-winning Young Adult author of five romantic comedies. You can reach her at [email protected].
Thank you for taking the time to read my novel. If you enjoyed it, I would appreciate a review on Amazon or Goodreads.
Table of Contents
Title page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen