by Penelope Sky
I should be out drinking or fucking, but I was here…alone.
I’d left Sofia’s apartment a week ago and never returned. I didn’t text or show up on her doorstep. She dumped me, and I had too much respect for myself to chase after her. She was too scared to let me in, but that was her problem.
Even though I missed her like crazy.
Helena knocked on the bedroom door before she came inside. “How was dinner?” She picked up the plate and utensils and shook her head slightly. “Not very good, I take it.” With fair skin and blond hair, she also had a Swedish accent.
“I just don’t have much of an appetite.”
“Not for food, at least.” She glanced at the nearly empty bottle of scotch. “Damien is here to see you. Shall I send him up?”
“Why is he here?”
“No idea. Getting answers from him is like pulling teeth.” She stepped inside and carried the dirty dishes with her. “I’ll send him up.”
I looked at the city once more, suffocated by all the shit in my life. Maddox was becoming a worse enemy than I realized, and I still felt guilty for killing his brother. That plan backfired in my face because I assumed Maddox would cave. When he didn’t, I had to make Miles’s wife a widow.
I was a fucking monster.
Damien stepped onto the patio in a long-sleeved shirt and a jacket. “It’s fucking freezing. Why are you sitting out here like that?” He fell into the chair opposite me, helping himself to the booze on the table. “Trying to catch a cold?”
“I don’t get sick.”
“Alright…trying to freeze to death?”
“I’m never cold.” My fingertips rested against my lips, and I looked at the city.
Damien let the booze wash down his throat. “You’ve been moody all week. What’s up? Are you still pissed about the Maddox thing? Don’t worry, we’ll get that asshole.”
“No.”
“Then what’s got you so bitchy?”
I rubbed my fingertips against my temple, hating myself for allowing a woman to ruin me like this. I was busting my ass for a woman who didn’t give a damn about me. Fucking pathetic. Most women would do anything to earn my affection, but Sofia tossed it away like garbage. How had I let things get so bad?
“You aren’t getting laid?”
“Actually, no.” It would be easy for me to pick up a piece of ass, even pay for it, but the thought never crossed my mind. I was loyal to a woman who wasn’t even mine. She’d turned me into a pussy-whipped dumbass.
He cocked an eyebrow. “What happened with Sofia?”
“She dumped me.” I’d never been dropped by a woman so easily. Normally, I couldn’t get them to leave me the hell alone. But she kicked me to the curb like an afterthought.
“Seriously?”
I nodded.
“When?”
“A week ago.”
“Did she say why?”
It was all my fault. I’d pushed too fast. I wasn’t even sure what came over me. I just wanted her to drop her attitude and open up a bit. “I rushed it.”
“Did you tell her you love her or something…?”
“No. I just… I’m just trying too hard.”
“So, she broke it off with you.”
I nodded. “Her stance on a relationship hasn’t changed since we met. She wants sex…nothing else.”
“That sounds perfect. Why don’t you just leave it alone?”
“Because…I just can’t.” I would never admit this out loud to anyone but Damien. It made me so weak, made me laughable. This woman had broken my heart, and I hadn’t even given it to her yet. We’d been screwing for a relatively short amount of time, but I felt like I’d lost a piece of me. We hadn’t even talked about anything serious, and she hardly knew me. But I felt like I knew her…so damn well.
“If you’re this miserable, why don’t you try to get her back?”
“Because I have too much pride. I’m not gonna chase a woman who dumped me. If she wants me back, she needs to get on her fucking knees and beg.” She’d already done enough damage. No matter how much I wanted her, I wouldn’t cave. “Period.”
“I respect that. But…what if that never happens?”
The idea of never having her again was painful, agonizing. Any other woman would be shit compared to her. But since my hands were tied, I had to let her go. She’d hurt me enough as it was… I wasn’t gonna let her hurt me anymore. “Then it never happens.”
14
Sofia
Complicated.
He made things fucking complicated.
I wanted easy, no strings attached. I wanted someone who meant nothing to me, whom I meant nothing to. Relationships always had the same shelf life. There was always a beginning, a middle, and an end.
There was no happily ever after…at least not in my world.
By just being lovers, the sex was always good. There was always heat. And there was no commitment, no expectation. He didn’t own me, so he couldn’t possess me, couldn’t knock me around to punish me.
I didn’t belong to him.
But Hades had pushed me too far.
At first, I felt relief. The weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I could glide. I got clean and killed my addiction. I quit cold turkey and had to keep moving. I would find another man, find someone who could please me without wanting something more.
But once a week had come and gone, the addiction started to kick in again.
I missed him.
So fucking much.
I missed the way he slid his hand into my hair and kissed me. I missed the way he gripped my ass when he said goodbye. I missed the way those brown eyes would fuck me across the room. Every kiss was heavenly, every fuck was divine.
Who was I kidding…? There was no one else like him.
Hades Lombardi was one of a kind.
I didn’t want to call him and open the door to our complicated relationship. But I also wanted to get laid…and get laid good. I had to decide what I wanted—and how much I wanted it. It was becoming obvious that Hades would continue to push for more with me, to get me to open my shattered heart and hand it over to him.
Never gonna happen.
But I was weak…and horny…and miserable.
So, I called.
I was sitting on the couch in my apartment with the phone against my ear. Every time it rang, I held my breath because he could pick up at any moment. It continued to ring until it went to a robotic voice messaging system.
I hung up.
I was disappointed. I’d expected him to answer.
Maybe he was with someone else. Maybe he’d already moved on. Maybe I wasn’t as special to him as I thought.
Hours passed, and he didn’t call me back.
Maybe he wasn’t going to. Maybe all the damage I’d caused couldn’t be fixed. When I told him we shouldn’t see each other anymore, he wordlessly left the room and didn’t look back. There was no fight. He just gave in.
Anxious, I texted him. Can we talk?
Silence.
I gave up and set my phone on the couch. I’d pushed away the best sex of my life. Now he was probably with someone else. Why did he have to screw everything up? Why didn’t he just leave it alone? Why couldn’t we be lovers who didn’t give a damn about each other?
My phone started to ring.
It was him.
My heart did a somersault into my stomach before I answered.
His deep voice was scary, full of rage and annoyance. “What do you want?”
He was so cold I wasn’t sure if I should hang up. I should have been stronger and not called him in the first place. Now that I was faced with his hostility, I realized this plan was stupid. My hormones never should have been put in charge.
“I asked you a question.”
My god, he was terrifying. “I’m sorry I called…”
“If you meant that, you wouldn’t have called me in the first place. Say what you have to say.”
I di
dn’t realize how gentle he’d been with me in the past now that I was facing this different version of him. This must be the drug-dealer version, the villain I never met. “I miss you…that was all I had to say.”
His response was silence.
Now I felt stupid for saying that out loud.
“What do you want me to do about that?”
Geez, he could be a dick when he was pissed. “Nothing. I just—”
“Bullshit. It’s ten o’clock right now. You want me to come over there and fuck you. That’s what you want me to do about it.”
I couldn’t believe this was the same man who’d placed my hand over his heart and vowed he would never hurt me. He was sensitive, passionate…kind. “Yes…”
“And why would I want to do that?”
As if he’d punched me in the stomach, I felt my lungs deflate. I felt embarrassed, assuming he would want what I wanted.
“You dumped me, remember? You think I’m just gonna come crawling back like some kind of pussy?”
Definitely not.
“No, Sofia. Fuck you.” Click.
He hung up on me.
I lowered the phone to my side, ripped apart by that cold insult. He made me feel weak. He humiliated me. He made me feel stupid for dumping him in the first place. He made me feel even dumber for calling him. And he made me want him even more…because I couldn’t have him.
I picked up the phone and called him again.
He answered immediately. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry, okay?”
Silence.
“I’m sorry I reacted that way. You were just…suffocating me. I told you a million times I don’t want anything serious, but you kept pressuring me. I’m not going to change my mind, so just let it go.”
Silence.
“I’d like to be with you…but under those conditions.”
“Your conditions?” he asked coldly.
“Yes…”
“Well, here are mine.” His voice lowered in volume but turned more sinister. “Get on your fucking knees and apologize to me. Your conditions can fuck off.”
A few days passed as I tried to shrug off my last conversation with Hades. The smart thing to do was forget about him since our relationship was so tense now. But after a couple days, I started to miss him again.
And actually consider his request.
I was working at the hotel, daydreaming about the man I couldn’t have. I missed the connection between our souls, the way our hearts beat as one. I missed the taste of his sweat on my tongue, the way my nails sank into his skin. All I had to do was put on a short dress and pick up a guy at the bar, but I didn’t want to do that.
There was only one man I wanted.
I grabbed my phone and texted him. I get off in twenty minutes…
I never got a response back.
Ten minutes later, Hades walked inside, dressed in a black jacket and dark jeans. Boots were on his feet, and a gray scarf was around his neck. He walked through the lobby and ignored me, heading straight to his regular room.
I was scared of him over the phone. Imagined how scared I would be when I faced him in person.
When my shift was over, I made my way to room 402.
My heart was pumping almost in my throat, full of adrenaline and fear. I could turn back and abandon ship, but I wanted him too much to do the smart thing. I wanted to do the reckless thing.
I walked through the door then came face-to-face with him. Tall and muscular, he stood in front of me, his scarf and jacket hung on the back of the chair at the dining table. That erotic gaze he used to give me was long gone, replaced by an expression of such fury that he looked like a hit man.
I never let anyone steal my confidence or make me uncomfortable, but he made me want to shake everywhere.
“You have something to say to me?” His deep voice was low but full of command like the ruler of the world. His jaw was covered in a sexy shadow, his hair was styled the way I liked. His body was pumping with blood, so his muscles looked thicker than usual. He also looked angrier than usual.
I couldn’t believe I was about to succumb to his commands. I thought I had more strength than that. Had more self-respect than that. But I wanted this night to end one way—with us in bed together.
So, I swallowed my pride and lowered myself to my knees.
He watched me, his jaw tightening as he watched me kneel on the carpet and pull my dress to my thighs. He stepped closer to me, looming over me like a general about to bark orders.
“I’m sorry…”
“Didn’t hear you.”
I cleared my throat, suffocating in self-loathing. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I’m sorry for…getting upset.”
“Try again.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“I’m sorry for ending things.”
“Wrong again.”
I sighed. “I’m sorry for hurting you…” I lowered my gaze because the humiliation was too much.
“Look at me when you talk to me.”
I lifted my gaze.
“Repeat what you just said.”
“I’m sorry for hurting you.”
“Anything else you want to add? Because I’m not sure if I’ve forgiven you.”
This man was a hard-ass. “I miss you…a lot. I haven’t been with anyone else because you’re all I want. I already told you I don’t want anything serious. When I said that, I meant it. But I do want you…and it’s hard to live without you.”
He stared at me for a long time, considering my apology like a judge issuing a ruling. He pulled his shirt off and set it on the chair, revealing his chiseled physique and the happy trail that led into his jeans.
I knew I’d been forgiven.
“Get your ass up.” He gave me his hand and helped me up.
My hands went to his chest so I could finally feel him, finally kiss him.
He grabbed me by the elbow and positioned me back, forcing me to look at him head on. “I only forgive people once—not twice. Fuck with me again, and it’s over. When you call, I won’t answer. When you need me, I won’t be there. Do you understand me?” His fingers dug into my arm.
Hades had never shown me this side of him before, and I wasn’t sure if I liked it. It was unnerving on the one hand, but also sexy on the other. This must be the way he treated his enemies, even his allies. “I understand.”
He released my arm then placed his hand on my shoulder. He gave a subtle push, lowering me back down to my knees. When I was on the carpet, he reached for his belt and loosened it before he pulled down his zipper. His rock-hard cock appeared a moment later, thick like a steel rod. “Show me how much you missed me.”
Now I was back where I started—on my back with Hades between my legs. I’d stayed clean for a week, but barely. I caved quickly, needing his essence in my veins, needing his come deep inside me. My nails clawed down his back as our faces came together, the muscles of his strong back working to thrust inside me just the way I liked.
I kept coming…over and over. My feet hurt from all the cramps; the pads of my fingers were soaked in his sweat. As if the last week had never happened, we fell right back into place, the heat burning us from the inside out.
God, I’d missed this.
His lips moved to my ear, and he breathed hard, his quiet moans now loud like they were projected through a speaker. “How much come can this pussy hold?”
I loved it when he talked dirty to me. He had the deepest voice, the sexiest grunts. He turned me on with just his masculine tone, especially after the way he’d ordered me around. This man was a hard-ass. I’d never wanted to be bossed around, but with him, it didn’t seem so bad. “All of it.”
He moaned and kept thrusting, his hand buried deep into my hair.
I grabbed his neck and positioned his mouth against mine, needing a hot kiss to hit my climax. I loved his embraces, the way he kissed me in such a manly way. Sometimes, he was gentle with me, and a
t other times, he kissed me like he was trying to break my lips. My fingers dug into his ass, and I pulled him into me at the perfect pace, taking him deep so I could come all over him.
I bit my lip as I hit the peak, my head rolling back as I whimpered and moaned. Tears sprang from my eyes once more, leaking down the sides of my face to the pillow underneath me. It was just so good; I couldn’t keep everything bottled up inside. This bed was soaked with our tears, sweat, and come.
Hades watched me, his face tinting red as his eyes darkened. Every time he watched me come, he wasn’t far behind with his own climax. He thrust then shoved himself balls deep, exploding inside my pussy for the hundredth time.
We finished together, our foreheads pressed skin-to-skin.
We both fell down slowly, like feathers gliding back down to earth. Our bodies were wrapped up in our mutual come, so sticky and warm. His cock slowly softened inside, but it still had enough definition to make me feel full.
My fingers slid into his hair, and I kissed him, feeling so satisfied after the lonely week I’d had. This was exactly what I wanted, only bliss, nothing else. I didn’t want the emotional heartache from a relationship, the unavoidable staleness it eventually brought. I just wanted this…heat, passion, and lust.
He slowly pulled out of me, and like the plug in a bathtub, once his cock was gone, everything spilled out of me. He watched it with hungry eyes, proud of the contents that he’d stuffed inside me. He lay beside me, his body gleaming with sweat.
I could feel him drip out of me, feel how stuffed I was with load after load. It’d been a week since I’d last felt this way, since I’d felt like a satisfied woman. The high was so powerful that it washed away the regret I’d felt for coming back to him in the first place.
I glanced at the time on the clock. Geez, it was late. Where did the time go?
After a short rest, he got out of bed and slipped his watch back onto his wrist. Then he got to his feet and started to cover that perfect body with clothes. Normally, he wanted to stay in bed as long as possible, but now he’d had a change of heart.