by Rie Warren
Finally, in the early hours of the morning, Doctor Delaney emerged. She made her way straight for me. Standing, I placed Cara on her feet and kept her hand tucked in mine.
“Can we not do this here?” I asked. “This is Ashe’s daughter.”
The doctor glanced at Cara with kindly eyes then motioned for me to follow her.
“Brodie, I’m scared,” Cara whispered with a sniffle.
I squatted down. “Hey, you don’t need to be, okay? Your mom is kind of a superhero, right?”
She nodded, and my throat constricted.
“Cat and Nick and Boomer are right here, not to mention my Retribution dudes and practically the whole police department. See? Tons of people all lookin’ out for you.”
Releasing my hand, she let Cat pull her into a hug. The doctor ushered me down a long, busy corridor. She motioned me into an office and shut us inside.
“First, I want to say I’m so very sorry to have to tell you this.”
I swayed on my feet and reached out to the wall to steady myself. “What?” There was no way, no possible fucking way I could do this life without Ashe.
“Detective Kingston . . . lost a lot of blood. There’s no easy way to say this. She hemorrhaged from her uterus. She lost the baby, Mr. Steele.”
Shock hit me with the news, but I needed to know about Ashe. “Please tell me. Please just tell me. Is she alive?”
“She’s alive.”
The room spun as I closed my eyes in relief. Then a muffled sob broke out of my chest. “She was pregnant?”
“I’m sorry. You didn’t know?”
I shook my head, the bitter taste of bile rising up my throat.
“She may not have known herself. It was very early. We performed a thorough examination. Everything looks normal, and she should heal fine. There’s no reason to think she won’t be able to get pregnant again in the future. Were you trying?”
“Not yet.”
She nodded. “I understand. Accidents happen.”
“The baby wouldn’t have been an accident.” My voice rasped from inside my throat.
Doctor Delaney handed me a tissue and offered me a bottle of water from a mini fridge behind her desk. I took both gratefully.
“Mr. Steele—”
“Please. Just call me Brodie.”
“We have a few other concerns right now, Brodie.”
I moved stiffly to a chair and sank into it. “Give it to me.”
Delaney sat on the edge of her desk. “Because of the trauma to Ashe’s head there is some swelling of her brain. She’ll be in a medically induced coma until it goes down, and we’ll be keeping a close eye on her. It will be a day or two at least before we bring her out of sedation.”
“Okay.” I gripped the bottle of water and tried not to crush it between my hands.
“She has two cracked ribs but no broken bones, which is miraculous, considering. Facial contusions needed a few stitches, but she should heal nicely.”
“I understand.”
“One other thing. We were advised the crime might have been sexual in nature.”
I didn’t think I could swallow down any more pain for what Ashe had been through. My eyes filled, but I took a shaky breath and nodded.
“We used a rape kit. It seems she was sexually assaulted—there is some bruising to her outer labia—but no signs of forced penetration. She was not raped.”
I pressed my knuckles to my mouth, wishing one more time I’d killed Dirk, blown his fucking head clean off.
“She will need OT and, of course, counseling as well as a very understanding partner to help her through this ordeal. We noted she’s been shot before?”
“Twice.”
“Ashe is strong. She’ll make it. She has you and her daughter.” Delaney peered at me, her eyes soft and understanding.
“When can I see her?” I asked, on the verge of losing my shit unless I laid eyes on Ashe pronto.
“I’ll take you to her now. Please remember—”
“I don’t care about tubes, or monitors, or catheters or any of that other crap. I just need to hold her hand.”
I paused at the door to Ashe’s room, taking a moment to let relief replace the gut-wrenching fear that had wracked my body for hours on end. When I walked inside, the bandages and the IVs and the beeping meant one thing: she was alive.
Sucking in a harsh breath, I fell to my knees beside her bed. I placed my hand over hers, gently, so gently. Brushing her cheek with my lips, I whispered against her ear, “I’m here, baby. I’m here.”
I wiped my eyes quickly and then again. Looking back at Delaney, I said, “I have to stay with her.”
She looked at her watch then slowly smiled. “You’re lucky visiting hours are starting in a little while. You are absolutely not to disturb her though.”
“I won’t.”
“I’ll have the orderly bring you a blanket and pillow. The chair in the corner folds out. Best you get some shut-eye while you can, don’t you think?”
“Will do, doc. Thank you.”
I spent a few more minutes with Ashe, watching her chest rise and fall, ignoring the thick bandage around her head and the other across her stomach, causing a lump in the sheets.
Kissing her cheek again, I pushed my fingers through hers. “I’m not going anywhere, but I’ve got to tell everyone you’re all right. I’ll be right back.”
Banging into the waiting room, I made my way straight for Cara and hunched down in front of her. “Your mom’s going to be okay. She’s out of the woods.”
Cara launched herself at me, and I stood with her in my arms. She clung to me, crying against my neck. It was enough to make my throat thicken with new tears.
Everyone talked over each other as the news spread, their relief evident in the voices rising in what had been an almost silent room.
“She’s going to be asleep for a couple days, Cara, so she can start feeling better.”
“I knew you’d take care of her.”
Knuckling beneath my eyes, I slid into a chair. “So you get your choice of Mt. Pleasant’s finest for the day. And you better go straight to bed after you eat some breakfast. Uncle Nick and Auntie Cat or Uncle Boomer. I’m gonna stay here until they kick me out later, if that’s okay with you.”
“You stay. I don’t want Mom to be alone.”
“So who’s gonna be your nanny for the day?” I asked.
“Uncle Boomer, for sure.”
“Hey. What about me?” Cat asked.
“I got to hang with you guys yesterday. I figure it’s Boomer’s turn to find out how awesome I am.”
That’s my girl.
“So I’ll text you in the morning. Oh wait, it is morning. Shit.”
“I won’t tell Mom you said that.”
I tweaked her braid. “Brat. I’ll call the school. You’re staying put today.” I passed her off to Boomer, and Cara looked so tiny next to his hulking mass. “You got her all right?”
“Hey, just call me the manny. Think I can handle a third-grader.”
He has no clue.
“I’ll pick you up this afternoon, okay? Then we’ll go home. I might call the babysitter so I can come back in the evening, but I’ll be home before you go to bed.”
I bent to kiss Cara on the forehead then ran through a list of Cara’s favorite things to Boomer. “Don’t forget to feed her,” I added.
“Look at you, Mister Mom.”
“Try it, you might like it.” I joked. Then it hit me like a wrecking ball. Ashe hadn’t just been kidnapped and beaten and abused. She’d lost a baby. Our baby. My knees nearly buckled from the weight of new pain. I cleared my throat roughly and patted Cara on the head. “Hey, Cara, why don’t you go say goodbye to Cat?”
She scrambled away, and I drew Boomer closer. “Somethin’ I gotta tell you.”
“What is it?”
“Ashe was pregnant. We didn’t know. She had a miscarriage because of the injuries.” My throat worked to swallow. I stare
d at the harsh fluorescent lights to burn the tears away.
Boomer’s face crumpled before he pulled me against him. “Oh, man. Fuck, Brodie. I’m sorry.”
“Me too. You have no idea.” At least his brotherly hug comforted me. “One other thing. They put Ashe in a coma because of her brain swelling.”
Boomer jerked back. “You said she was fine!”
“She is. The doc really thinks she will be. But she won’t be awake for a day or two, and I don’t want Cara to worry.”
“I’m on it. Get some rest. You look like shit.”
“Ditto that.”
We bumped fists, and as he ambled away with Cara I called out, “Hey. Love ya, Cara.”
Without breaking stride she tossed back, “Love you too, Brodie.”
I didn’t waste any time getting back to Ashe’s room. After giving Sipowicz the low down on her condition, I asked everyone to go home. They’d be better off visiting the next day.
In Ashe’s room, someone had unfolded the ugly-ass chair and left me a stack of blankets and a pillow. The only place I wanted to be was curled up at her side so I made use of the other chair instead, the hard plastic one beside her bed. I laid my head near her shoulder.
The monitors beeping with every heartbeat soothed me. I got it now. What Nick and Cat and his folks had felt in a similar room with Miss Myra. The constant whir and noise of machines meant Ashe was holding on.
And so was I.
Chapter Twenty
Stolen Heart
THREE MOTHERFUCKING DAYS.
I hadn’t been able to stay at the hospital around the clock like I wanted to. For one thing, there were visiting hours to adhere to. I also had to do the carpool thing with Cara—me driving Ashe’s Volvo would’ve been hilarious in any other situation.
I wanted Cara’s life to continue as normally as possible. So I showed up at Chrome and Steele a few hours a day, was Poppa Limo Driver for the kids, and also head chef, homework-checker, and the goodnight guy. Someone was with Ashe if I couldn’t be there. A friendly cop or one of the MC dudes. Cat or Boomer. Davies, who I hadn’t wasted after all. I bet they drove the ever-loving shit out of Ashe, talking to her for hours on end. Maybe she wouldn’t remember any of it. Or maybe she’d curse me a blue streak when she woke up for subjecting her to such torture. I hoped for the latter.
Every spare moment I was at the hospital. At first I talked to Ashe. Then I read to her. Then I started playing Cara’s crap music, which we’d always laughed about. During those three never-ending days, I brought Cara to see her, too. We sat beside her bed and loudly went through Cara’s homework, purposefully getting all the answers wrong in the hopes we’d piss off Ashe enough she’d miraculously wake up.
She didn’t.
Dirk, on the other hand, was released from the hospital. He was headed to prison: signed, sealed, and delivered. Abduction, assault and battery on a police officer, gross bodily harm, and murder one added to the long list of his illegal activities. He was going down. South Carolina still did the death penalty for aggravated murder. Eye for an eye. For Leta. For Ashe’s—our—baby.
“Mr. Steele! Mr. Steele! She’s awake,” Candy Stripe shouted from the nurse’s station as I stalked past.
No, really, her first name was Candy. I’d made sure to get in good with the orderlies and nurses when one day of forced coma became two and then three for Ashe.
“Did you hear me, Mr. Steele?” Candy Stripe called out.
Hell yeah, I’d heard her. My boots squealed on the tile floors as I took the corners like rails in a racecar. I sped into Ashe’s room then jerked to a halt.
Sitting up in bed, she blinked at me with her big beautiful gray eyes. She was minus the head wrapping and a whole lot of tubes, the last network of machines humming quietly.
“Oh fuck, Ashe.” I walked on legs gone weak, sliding next to her on the bed. “Oh, babe.”
Her hands fluttered through my hair before resting on my shoulders. “Brodie,” she cried out as I pulled her against me.
We did nothing but lie there, holding each other for minutes I never wanted to end. Her eyes open. Her body warm. Her heart beating against my chest.
“I thought I’d never hold you again.” My voice broke, and I buried my face in her neck.
Ashe snuffled against me. “I was so scared, Brodie.”
“Me too.”
She pulled slightly away, her trembling hands skimming the hair back from my face. “You came for me.”
“Not soon enough.”
“I . . .” Ashe stiffened in my arms. She covered her mouth with her hand. Tears escaped down her face. She shook her head, looking away from me.
“What, babe? What is it?”
“They told me about the pregnancy. I’m so sorr—” She choked off, her sobs starting to swell.
“Don’t you ever apologize to me for that, Ashe. You hear me?” She broke my damn heart as she sat there crying, apologizing for something beyond her control. “Never.”
“But you told me you want to be a father. And I was reckless. I almost lost you, lost Cara. I lost our baby!”
“Not your fault.” I held her face between my hands. Her tears ran over my fingers as pain mingled with sadness on her features.
I grabbed the box of tissues and gently wiped her face, careful with the bruises still mottling her skin. “I do want a family. I want a kid. I want a wife.” That was all I’d thought about while she’d lain unconscious, feeling like she could slip away from me any second.
Ashe sat straighter, shoving my hands off her. “Oh, I see. Bet you couldn’t wait for me to wake up so you could tell me, huh? This is too much for you, isn’t it?” Motioning to the monitors and the hospital bed, she lashed out at me. “And I’m not enough for you.”
“Babe, you need to calm down. You misunderstood me. You’re hurt and afraid—”
“Don’t tell me what I am, goddammit! I know what I am. A failure!”
“Fucking hell, Ashe. Don’t you get it?” I brought her hands to my chest, staring into her tear-filled stormy eyes. “I love you. I am in love with you. Your career is not a choice. I get that. It’s who you are. And you’re not a failure. You’re amazing. I respect you. I honor you. And I’ve been worried sick about you. I can’t think straight, I can’t see straight when you’re not around.” Moving my hands to her neck, I tilted her face up. I brushed my mouth over hers. “It’s you I want as my wife. You as the mother of my children. If you weren’t so fucking stubborn I’d ask you to marry me right now.”
She gasped against my lips. “You can’t—”
“I can. I can say all those things because they’re true. But there’s something else we need to think about.”
“What?” Pulling away, she frowned.
“We signed the next of kin stuff when I moved in, but what happens to Cara if—God forbid—something like this happens again? We need to legalize some shit so I can take care of her, because, Jesus Christ, you could’ve died.” Saying the words hit me so fast and hard, I almost crumpled over her. I had to bite my lips and swallow furiously before I could go on. “I thought you were going to die.”
“Oh, Brodie . . .”
“I’m only going to say this once, then I’m going to move on. We’re going to move on. But you really scared the crap out of me, Ashe. I don’t know what I’d do if you died.”
“Yes, you do, Brodie.” She caressed my jaw, smiling briefly at me. Her gray eyes were glassy but deep as an ocean.
“No.” I shook my head.
“Yes, you do. Because I already put it in my will. You are Cara’s legal guardian.”
I brought my fist to my lips, swallowing convulsively.
“I didn’t want to freak you out or anything,” Ashe said.
“Not freaked out.”
“We can talk to Cara about this, make sure she knows you’re a permanent part of her life.”
“Let’s do that.”
“So I’ll tell you what you’d do if I died,
Brodie.” Ashe smiled softly, stroking my neck. “You would mourn me, then you would take care of Cara. Because you are so strong, and you’re already an amazing father.”
“Promise me that will never happen.” My voice cracked.
Instead of answering, she pulled me into her embrace. Wrapped around each other, we let go of the most intense emotions—pain and fear, blame and guilt. We remained on that small bed until love and hope and relief started to replace the horrific memories and began to heal the aching scars.
****
Ashe stayed in the hospital another few days before they would release her. Making a full recovery—emotionally and physically—was going to take some time. She’d undergo counseling and psych evals before returning to detective status, but Sipowicz swore he intended to make full use of her brain power on unsolved cases while she was on the mend. He and I both knew she was the type who needed to be in the thick of things to feel useful.
The chief wasn’t half bad—polyester suits and all. I’d taken to giving him, the MC, Stone, and just about everyone else in Mt. Pleasant daily reports on Ashe’s convalescence.
The fractured ribs needed time to mend, but her stitches came out. The scarring would be minimal, and the swelling and bruises had begun to fade.
The first time she’d looked in the mirror, she didn’t even wince. Patting her hair like she’d just had it blown out, she’d slanted a smile at me. “Maybe I could start a trendy new look?”
I’d nuzzled the side of her neck. “We’ll call it street chic.”
She was beautiful—nothing would dim her flame—but every so often I caught her staring off, absently rubbing her belly. I tried not to think about what Dirk had done to her. I decided if he were ever pardoned, I’d pay him a visit with my gun.
The day the doctors signed out Ashe, I rolled a wheelchair into her hospital room. She immediately groaned.
“What? I hooked you up with some new wheels.”
She gave a small laugh. It was a start.
“You think that’s funny? Get a load of this.”
Spinning it around I showed her the sick Triumph sticker I’d stuck on the back of the seat.
More laughter spilled from her. Even better.