“Look, that’s what it is. Okay?” He snapped. I opened my mouth then closed it again with a nod.
“O…kay, Ezra. Whatever you say.” I walked over to the counter and started straightening papers because I didn’t know what else to do. I could see plain as day that he needed some time and space.
“Thanks for the job, Solana.” He walked over to the door and stood there for a few extra seconds. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”
“Yeah…sure. Thanks for hanging out with me, Ezra.” I smiled a little at him. I hated the way our energy fizzled. Clearly, I hit a raw spot for him and it left both of us feeling sour.
“No problem.” He stood there like he wanted to say something else but he didn’t. He left instead.
…
“When Malachi came to school today, I gave him new clothes to put on. He seemed to be able to clean himself up okay but those clothes needed to be washed so bad,” Amaris sat on the couch in my living room, holding a glass of cold wine. She stared off as she spoke about Malachi and my eyes burned.
“The social worker assigned to his case said she’ll schedule a home visit this weekend.”
“This weekend? Okay. That’s good.”
“It is, I just hope it doesn’t cause too much backlash for Malachi.”
“Yeah…me too,” I frowned. “Maybe after the social worker visits, I should go spend the night with him.”
“Solana, if you do that Vince might find out and I’d hate to know what he’d do.” The space between her brows wrinkled with concern.
“I know but I hate thinking about what Vince could do to Malachi if he got angry and he didn’t have anyone else to beat up on.”
“I keep saying that you’re better for Malachi if you’re healthy and whole. If you go back over there and stir up Vince, you negate your restraining order and get yourself and possibly Malachi hurt. You have to be smart. I know it’s killing you but come to the school in the mornings if you want to check on Malachi.”
“I will. I feel like I’m not doing enough though.” I chewed on my bottom lip and rubbed my forehead. I felt stress eating away at me. It wasn’t just because of Malachi though. I was stressing over Ezra too. I couldn’t stop thinking about how our time together ended earlier.
“You’re doing everything the right way. Well, mostly the right way.” Amaris cleared her throat and looked at me. “We’ll finish talking about Malachi in a minute. Where’s your fine ass neighbor?”
“Girl…” My head dropped and I groaned dramatically.
“Oh god, Solana, you didn’t do anything extra did you?”
“No! Why would you think that? I’m never extra.”
“You’re always extra. Now, what happened? He’s married isn’t he?” She asked, leaning forward.
“No. He’s not married. Far from it. He’s only eighteen.” I let my words hang in the air, heavy and uncertain. Amaris’ brown eyes grew wide as saucers. She set her wine glass down and shook her head.
“Wait, the fine ass neighbor across the street is only eighteen? Solana, how did you not know he was still a baby?”
“Look, trick he’s huge first of all. He’s six-six. He’s a fucking giant. Eighteen-year-olds weren’t that big when I was in school. Second, he’s really quiet and mature and…”
“Stop. Stop it right now. I’m going to start calling you Roberta Kelly in a minute.”
“Fuck you. I told him we were just friends.”
“You still like him though. You better leave that little boy alone. Trust me on this.”
“I can’t exactly leave him alone. I kind of hired him to work at Sun Goddess.” I hid my face with my hands while Amaris squealed and hit me repeatedly.
“You did what? I would have referred some people to you if I knew you needed help that badly, Solana.”
“He’ll be a good fit. He needs to get out of the house anyway. You remember that really bad accident in Inglewood last month?”
“The one where the football player got killed?” Amaris asked. I nodded my head and let my shoulders drop a little.
“That was his twin brother. He was in the car during the crash too. Went through the windshield.”
“Shit, I had no idea there was anyone else in the car besides the mom.”
“I know. The news kind of glossed over that part.” I twirled a lock of my dark hair around my fingers.
“Solana, I don’t want you catching feelings for this little boy. I know you. You’re already attached to him and I’m sure he’s attached to you because you’re…you.”
“We’re friends, Amaris. I told you. I have willpower. Besides, I’m ten years older than him. You know how wrong that is? I’m good.”
“Uh huh. You hired him to work in your studio. You two will be around each other most of the day. You also live across the street from him.”
“So? Why can’t we be friends?”
“I wouldn’t question it if you hadn’t started off drooling over the boy. And why isn’t he in school during the day?”
“He got expelled for fighting,” I muttered.
“So he’s a problem child too? Girl, stay away from him.”
“I can’t. I’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. We’re friends.” I had to keep saying that because I needed reminders. I kept seeing his intense eyes and handsome face in my mind. I wanted to go across the street to check on him so we could clear the air but I held off.
“The fact that you keep saying friends lets me know exactly how this is going to turn out. You have fun being in denial though.” She stretched a hand high above her head and sighed. “So since he’s working with you now, that means if I stop by the studio, I can see this mystery teenager.”
“Don’t do that, Amaris,” I said.
“What?” She smirked. “I’m just playing around. I’m looking forward to watching how this whole situation plays out.”
“You don’t know everything.”
“I know everything when it comes to Solana Willow Monroe. I’ve watched your patterns over the years. Whenever you like someone you can’t stay away. You like this little boy.”
“I’ve only known him for one day and finding someone attractive is not the same as liking them.”
“I know that. We’re not talking about other people right now though. We’re talking about you.” I waved her off and shook my head. We fell into a harmless argument about the ability to be attracted to someone and not make any moves on them. When the doorbell rang. Our conversation fell silent.
“Ooh, maybe that’s your teenage lover,” Amaris teased. She was only playing but I hoped it was him. I cleared my throat an insane amount of times trying to dislodge the nerves that insisted on collecting there. I stood up and hurried over to the door, making sure to look out the side window first.
When I saw over six feet of brown sugar standing on my porch, my heart leaped into my throat. I took deep breaths and steadied my breathung before opening the door. I tipped my head up and looked at Ezra without a smile. I was too nervous to smile.
Why the hell was I nervous though?
“Um…what’s up, Solana?”
“Hey. Everything okay?” I asked, bouncing up on the balls of my feet. Ezra rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat. I wondered if he had the same issue with nerves clogging his throat.
“Yeah. I wanted to stop by and apologize for earlier. I shouldn’t have snapped at you and…” He looked around me, which wasn’t hard for him to do, and saw Amaris standing in the back like a fucking creep. I glanced over my shoulder and rolled my eyes so hard I got a headache.
“This is my sister, Amaris.”
“Oh, nice to meet you.” He nodded at her then looked at me. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I didn’t know you were busy. I’m sorry.”
“Ezra, you’re fine.”
“Don’t mind me,” Amaris smiled. She walked away and I could hear her footsteps going upstairs.
“I wanted to apologize. Like I said, sometimes I have outbursts of an
ger and I shouldn’t have directed it toward you.”
“Well, I appreciate your apology. Thank you.”
“Are you mad at me?” The brown puppy dog eyes were killing me.
“No, Ezra but I don’t like being snapped at. Nobody likes being snapped at. I can admit that I shouldn’t have assumed you were perfectly fine though. It was careless on my part, so I apologize too.”
“Thank you. I understand if I messed up and you don’t want me to work at your studio. I know how important energy is. Mine was kinda fucked up.”
“It was but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I’m honestly impressed that you’re taking responsibility for your energy. So many people neglect to do that,” I said.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about snapping on you when you didn’t do anything to deserve it. Then I thought about how you used to be in an abusive relationship and that asshole must have snapped at you all the time for no reason. I didn’t want to give you a reason to ever put me and him in the same category or to ever feel like you had to protect yourself around me.”
I was speechless.
He processed all of that just from losing his temper with me a little earlier. I folded my arms and took a step toward him. “You’re a really special person, Ezra. Thank you for coming over to apologize. Also, I would never put you in the same category as my ex. You’re not a monster.”
“Thank you,” he nodded. I watched his tongue dart out to lick his lips and averted my gaze.
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow. I want you at the studio by ten.”
“Okay, I can do that.” We stood there smiling at each other. We looked simple as hell but neither of us wanted to part ways even though that only meant he was going across the street. “Hey, can I get your number?” He asked, pulling out his phone.
“Oh, sure. For like…work stuff.”
“Yeah, or friend stuff.”
“Or that,” I nodded. I rattled off my number and he put it into his phone. “Send me a text so I’ll have your number,” I told him. I ran into the living room and grabbed my phone. I felt Ezra’s eyes on me the second I turned around. His gaze was hot and it seared my skin in the most delicious way. Normally, I hated being ogled but Ezra wasn’t ogling. He was appreciating.
“I just sent it,” he said, holding up his phone.
“Yup, I got it. Thanks.”
“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, Solo.” He reached out and touched the ends of my hair then pulled his hand back. “Sorry. That was weird as fuck. I just…”
“It’s fine, Ezra,” I laughed.
“I’ve been staring at your hair all day and it’s so beautiful. I guess I wanted to touch it.”
“You could have asked.”
“Would you have said yes?” He countered. My belly flopped at how deep his voice got.
“Yes,” I answered almost breathlessly. I would have probably let him touch whatever the hell he wanted and that’s exactly why it was time for him to go back across the street.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Goodnight, Solo.”
“Goodnight, Ezra.” I watched his broad shoulders and long legs head across the street. I made sure he was on his porch before I closed the door.
I walked over to the couch and fell down with a soft sigh.
“You two are just friends, right?” Amaris came out of nowhere wearing a know-it-all smirk that made me smack my lips.
“We are. He came to apologize for snapping at me earlier.”
“And to get your number?”
“Were you spying on me? Damn.”
“That’s what sisters are for. Like I said, you’re going to jump on his young ass the second he wears you down and from the looks of things, he’s going to wear you down quickly. He is fine as hell with milk still on his breath.”
“Bye, Amaris. Don’t you have to go to bed? You have young minds to mold in the morning.”
“I know. Does, Ezra need a seat in one of my classes?” I grabbed her purse and handed it to her then pointed to the door.
“Out.”
“I’m leaving. I’m leaving. Love you sissy.”
“Uh huh. Love you too. See you in the morning.”
…
It was nearly nine o’clock and I was still grabbing shit off the counter when I needed to be in the car on the way to Malachi’s school so I could at least look at him. I rushed out of the door with my duffle bag strapped across my body and a million things in my hands. I cursed at myself for trying to balance everything and open my car door at the same time. It was one of the rare moments I wished I had a newer car and not a 2001 bug that needed a key to open the door.
“Are you always this uncoordinated in the mornings?” Ezra’s deep voice rolled over me like water. I jerked my head to the side and looked over my shoulder at him standing there. Shirtless. With water drops still beaded on his honey skin.
Fuck.
He grabbed a few things out of my hand and I opened up the car door, finally. “Thank you.” I looked at him after I put things on the passenger seat and fixed my hands to my hips. “Do you always just run out here without a shirt? You’re going to catch a cold.”
“You know the temperature has nothing to do with catching a cold, right?” He asked, folding his arms. I slid my gaze along his bulging biceps and sucked in a breath. Why was he so delicious?
“If you say so. Please go in the house and put on a shirt.”
“I got out of the shower and heard you out here struggling again. Sorry,” he held his hands up and took a step back.
“No, Ezra. You’re fine.”
Fine as fuck.
“Where are you headed this morning?” He asked. I pulled my hungry eyes away from his abs and looked at his eyes. Like that was any better. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to let something inappropriate slip out of my mouth.
“Remember I told you I’m still very close to my ex’s son? I’m going to his school to check on him. Sometimes, when you live with a monster who either neglects you completely or beats the hell out of you, it’s nice to have someone who cares.”
“You’re a really amazing person for doing that. He’s going to appreciate you for the rest of his life. Look, I’m not going to hold you because judging by the way you ran out of your house, I’m guessing you’re late. I’ll see you at work.” Ezra jogged back across the street and I watched his strong back flex and his perfect ass had the perfect amount of bounce.
Whoo, lord. Send help.
I sped to Malachi’s school and rushed in with the tardy kids carrying a bag of clean socks and underwear. I made a beeline for Amaris’ office and paused when I saw my baby sitting in the chair, swinging his feet. He was eating a bowl of cereal and munching on fruit. His shoes were filthy and the shoestrings were fraying into a million tiny threads. I made a mental note to buy him new shoes.
I hated that he couldn’t keep everything I bought him. If Vince found out that Amaris and I were buying him clothes, he would flip the fuck out and destroy them. It was like he wanted Malachi to suffer. Vince had a good job and the means to take care of his son. He just didn’t want to. He never wanted kids. He told me that while we were together and silly me…I thought I could change his mind later on down the line. I was wrong. So damn wrong. Since Vince didn’t want kids, he was going to continue to act like he didn’t have any. He was going to punish Malachi for simply existing and imposing on his life.
Vince didn’t give a fuck how Malachi got to school or got home. He didn’t care about homework or field trips. He didn’t care who watched Malachi when he had to work late. He didn’t care how Malachi got food or clothes or anything else.
It turned my stomach.
“Solo!” Malachi chirped when he noticed me standing there watching him.
“Hey, Tyke!” I hugged him and buried my nose in his curly hair. He needed his hair washed and cut badly. Even though he had on clean clothes, his skin smelled like mildew and it made me want to burst into tears.
“I mi
ssed you so much,” he told me. He sat down to finish his food and I sat beside him. How the fuck could Vince let him live this way? It wasn’t my place to overstep because I wasn’t Malachi’s mother but dammit, I felt like it.
“Oh, hey, Solana,” Amaris walked in and closed the door behind herself. “I told his teacher that I was going to keep him in my office for a little while so he could eat. Even after he had breakfast in before care, his stomach was growling.”
“I’m getting full now, Miss Monroe,” Malachi said, patting his tummy.
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” She tousled his hair and looked at me. “We need to talk.”
“I know,” I nodded. I bent down and kissed Malachi’s cheek then stepped into the hallway with Amaris.
“He is filthy. How the fuck is Vince allowing this?” She said from between clenched teeth. Tears welled in my eyes and trembled before rolling down my cheeks.
“I don’t know. Let me take him for the day, Amaris. Please. I’ll take him home with me and give him a bath, get him a hair cut, and give him food.” I covered my mouth with my hands and let a short sob escape me.
“There are cameras everywhere, Solana. They will see you walk out of here with him then you’ll be going to jail.”
“There has to be a blind spot somewhere. He needs something.”
“I know this is tough, Solana but if you take him now, the social worker won’t see the truth. She won’t be able to smell him or see his neglect. If you take him to get a hair cut, they won’t see how matted his curls are. This needs to be seen and documented because they’re doing a home visit this weekend.”
“You want me to continue to let him smell and be hungry and scared?” I narrowed my eyes at her and she looked up at the ceiling.
“You have to. It’s the only way you’re going to help him in the long run. You don’t think it breaks my fucking heart to see him like this? I don’t want to see any child like this,” she whispered. “I love Malachi too, okay? I want to help him out of this for good though.”
“So do I!”
“You have to calm down and think smart then. Malachi is a tough kid. He’s going to make it. The goal is for him to make it to you. Don’t lose sight of that.” She tapped my chest with her two fingers. It was something she did when we were younger too. It was her way of telling me to keep my bleeding heart in check.
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