“You need a ride back home. You can’t walk.”
“I can walk. It’s ten minutes from the house,” he countered. I sensed his anger surfacing and I put my hand on his back between his broad shoulders. He settled instantly. “I’ll see you back at the house, Ma.” He turned and walked back into the studio leaving his mother trying to find words to say.
“Have a nice day, Mrs. Fredericks.” I turned on my heel and went back inside with Ezra. His mother had no choice but to drive off. He’d get cursed out when she got home later but he was making steps in the right direction.
He didn’t need her to rule over his life. He was capable even if he had brain trauma.
He just needed to see that.
…
EZRA
Weeks passed since Mom knew about me working at Sun Goddess with Solana. She hated it but she couldn’t deny me going to work every day once she saw that I brought in real money. I opened up a bank account and saved whatever I could. I didn’t give my mother money for rent but I did buy my own food and everything else. Whatever wasn’t used to buy food or pay for my phone bill was put into savings. I made sure I was out of the house every morning to open up the studio while Solana went to Malachi’s school to check on him.
After the first social worker visited his home, they decided there was enough of a case for neglect to keep a file open and conduct regular in-home visits. If at the end of ninety days they deemed Malachi’s environment and situation to be unimproved, they would move to take him from the home.
I meditated with Solana every night and every morning to calm her nerves because the process was driving her insane. So was the process for her to become a foster parent.
“They told me there’s no guarantee I’ll get Malachi if I become a foster parent,” she told me after she finally had a meeting with a social worker to review her application.
“So what are you going to do?” I asked. I’d become invested in hearing all about Malachi. I was rooting for him hard.
“I don’t know. I can petition the court for custody of him but do you know how tough that will be since I’m of no relation to Malachi?” I hated seeing her stress like that. Since we were in the studio cleaning up for the night, I made her a blend of my tea. I didn’t even tell her. I steeped it in hot water and handed it to her when she took a break from being upset.
She took the mug from me with her eyes closed and her thick lashes resting on the tops of her cheeks. “Thank you, Ezra.”
“No problem.” I watched her inhale the blend of jasmine and roses before she sipped it. I folded my arms and studied her almond-shaped eyes waiting for her reaction.
“This is amazing. It’s so…sweet. Did you put sugar in this?”
“Nope,” I smirked.
“What is that? It’s so damn good.” She took another big gulp and rolled her full lips between her teeth.
“A pinch of pure sugar cane. It’s all-natural but it gives the blend a little sweetness. Not too much.” Ever since Solana told me that she wanted my help with the tea recipes I’d been reading up on different flowers and herbs and their properties. I came up with several teas in the past week but the one I gave Solo was my favorite because it reminded me of the way she smelled. Like roses and sugar.
“We have to sell this. It’s amazing. Oh my god.” She let out a soft moan of happiness and I tried not to warp it into something sexual in my head. It was hard as fuck though.
Hell, working with her as just a friend had been hard. I managed by not going to her house or holding her on my lap anymore. I knew those things were dangerous. As long as I kept my distance, we were fine. It didn’t stop me from thinking about her every fucking day though.
“If I knew it would make you moan like that I would have given it to you sooner,” I smirked. I couldn’t help it. She left herself wide open.
“Cut it out.” She smiled at me and it was such a beautiful smile. “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been really in your head lately. I know it’s getting close to the two-month anniversary of Everett’s passing. Wanna come over for dinner? Does your mom work overtime tonight?”
“She does.” I stayed away from Mom as much as possible. Between taking GED classes at the college every other night and working at Sun Goddess, I didn’t have to see her that much and I was forever grateful.
As usual, Solana was right. Ev had been heavy on my mind lately. I wasn’t sure how she could tell but I learned quickly not to question when Solana said she felt something. She was always right.
“Please come have dinner with me. I got some new wine and I need someone to try it out with me.”
“You’re going to get in trouble for giving alcohol to someone under twenty-one.”
“I’ll take my chances,” she grinned. “Have dinner with me.”
“Okay. I’m not eating any more of your vegan macaroni and cheese though.”
“Shut the fuck up about that, Ezra,” she laughed. I wanted to pull her onto my lap so damn bad but I fought against the temptation.
“Is everything in the back saged for the night?” I asked her. I had to do something with myself before I made a bad decision and put Solana in an awkward place.
“No, can you hit the Reiki room, please?” She knew I couldn’t say no when she fluttered those long lashes at me like that. I headed to the back and lit the bundle of sage. Solana didn’t have specific time frames she wanted the room cleansed in. Instead, she always told me to do it until it felt done so that’s what I did.
I kind of wished I stayed back there longer because when I walked up front I had the perfect view of Solana bending over, digging through her bag for something. The white leggings she had on hugged her ass like a long lost friend and the outline they gave her pussy was phenomenal.
I adjusted my dick because it was rock hard in no time.
Shit.
“Um…I’m done in the back.” I walked over to the tea station and turned my back to her so she wouldn’t know what she did to me.
“Oh, thank you, Ezra.” She stood upright and walked over to me.
Go the hell away, Solo. I need to talk this monster down.
“You want a ride back to my place?” She slid her hand along my back and it only served to make my dick harder. It was painful at that point.
“Nah, I’ll walk,” I told her. If I rode with her it would make things worse.
“You sure? It’s not a big deal. I’m just going to start on dinner.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I need some time to…think.” I rearranged tea blends over and over for no reason other than to look like I was doing something.
“Okay well, lock up before you leave. I’ll see you in a little while.” I waited until she was in the car before I turned around. Once I wasn’t near her sweet scent and soft touch anymore, my dick started to soften.
I gave the studio a once over before I left and locked the door behind me. I started on my walk to Solo’s house and the entire time, Everett ran through my mind. It was like I could feel him around me. I could feel his energy.
He didn’t want me to mope every time I thought about him. That was easier said than done though. I would always miss him. Going from having a partner in crime for life to walking alone in life was heavy shit. Above all, I was glad to have had him even though it was only for eighteen years.
I turned the corner and walked down my street until I came to Solo’s. I knocked on the door and she opened it with a pretty smile. I needed to see that smile right then. Without thinking, I reached out and hugged her, pulling her petite body into my arms.
“Hey, you okay?” She asked wrapping her arms around my neck. I loved when she did that shit. I pictured myself lifting her off the ground and cupping her ass while her legs wrapped around me.
“I’m good. Just thinking about Ev on the way over here. Still trying to wrap my mind around not speaking to him or hearing his voice for two months. I guess at some point I’ll get over it but…” I shook my head and Solana touched the sid
e of my face.
“There’s no getting over it, Ezra. You learn how to live without him and it always hurts but sometimes it doesn’t.” I nodded my head and dropped my arms. “Listen, come in here and have a glass of wine.”
“I don’t drink wine but I need something to take the edge off.”
“You don’t drink wine? Boy…”
“I told you about that shit,” I said, poking her stomach. It was tight and toned and I wanted to explore the rest of her tight body…with my tongue.
“What? I can’t call you little boy or any derivative of it?” She asked, a mischievous smile playing on her pillow-soft lips.
“Exactly.”
“Here.” She handed me a chilled glass of red wine and I sniffed it before taking a sip. “Do you have to smell everything before you taste it?”
“I do. By the way, did I ever tell you that you smell like roses and sugar?” I looked into her eyes as I took another drink.
“Roses and sugar?” She smiled, tipping her head to the side. Her long hair spilled over her shoulder and I took another gulp of wine before my fingers tangled between her tresses. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, Ezra.” She turned around and went into the kitchen. I followed her and sniffed the air. Whatever she was making smelled amazing already.
I wasn’t a huge fan of her vegan food but I wanted to try whatever she had on the stove. I finished my glass of wine and put my hands on her hips. I was stepping over our agreed upon line but she looked too good for me not to touch.
“That actually smells good,” I said, looking over her shoulder.
“What the hell do you mean actually?” She laughed.
“You know damn well your vegan food tastes and smells like shrubbery.”
“Whatever, Ezra. You’re used to eating meat like a carnivore. You’re going to like this though. I’m making mushroom risotto and rolls.”
“Yeah. I want seconds.”
“You haven’t had firsts.”
“But I can tell by the way it smells I’m going to want more.” I pried my hands off her hips and poured myself another glass of wine. It wasn’t bad at all. I didn’t feel a buzz but I figured I’d need a few more glasses before I did.
“So what’s going to happen if your mother comes home and you’re not there?” Solo asked.
“She’ll blow my phone up and probably put out an APB.” I knocked back another glass of wine in no time. Those glasses were small though, in my defense.
“That’s insane. You’re a whole adult and she won’t let you stay out?”
“I’m not equipped to stay out without her but I feel like I’m proving her wrong. I have a job and I’m taking classes.”
“You’re definitely proving her wrong.” She paused and looked at me. “Is that your third glass of wine?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You’re going to be drunk.”
“No I’m not. This shit is light.” I did feel a buzz starting in my joints though.
“Okay, little boy.” She bit her bottom lip and looked at me like I was dinner instead of what was on the stove or maybe I was imagining things.
I stood to my feet and walked over to Solana while she stirred the food slowly like a trained chef. I tried not to touch her hair but she needed to be punished for calling me little boy after I told her to stop that shit.
“What did I tell you, Solana?” I grumbled in her ear. Her spine stiffened and her shoulders turned to blocks.
“And since when do I listen to you, Ezra?”
“Since I told you about that little boy shit.” I pulled her hair and she sucked in a sharp breath. I loved that noise. I wanted her to make it when I slid my dick inside of her. I tried to scrub that thought from my broken brain.
She wanted us to be friends.
She didn’t want to be with me.
I heard her tell Amaris that she knew it was a bad idea. I was too broken for her. I had to keep reminding myself of that. I backed away and shook my head.
“You keep poking the beast.”
“Me?” She squeaked. I saw the goosebumps on her bare shoulders and I wanted to slide my tongue over them. I poured another glass of wine but that time I handed it to her. “What’s going to happen if I keep poking the beast, Ezra?” She asked, taking a slow sip. The way she wrapped her lips around the rim of that wine glass made nasty shit run rampant through my mind.
“It’s going to attack so chill the fuck out.” I hated the back and forth of wanting her one minute then wanting to be her friend the next. I hated that she entertained it. It confused me all the time.
“Okay,” she sighed. I could see her fighting with herself too and I didn’t know what to think. I just knew I was tired of being around the most beautiful, perfect woman in the world and not being able to touch her the way I wanted to.
I grew quiet while Solo talked and drank wine. I watched her every move though. Watching her was like watching a moving work of art. The way her hair swayed, the way her hips moved, the way her legs flexed.
“Okay, dinner is done,” she smiled setting a plate in front of me. It actually looked good too.
“This looks amazing, Solo. Thank you.” She sat beside me instead of across from me and I could feel the electricity crackle between our bodies.
“Did you feel that?” She asked with wide eyes. I loved when she got that look. She looked fucking adorable. It made me smile.
“I did.” I nodded my head and focused on my plate.
“God, that shit is always insane.”
“It is,” I said. I took a sip of wine before I tasted Solana’s risotto. She waited with her hands clasped under her chin for my reaction. “It’s fucking delicious.” I meant every word and like I told her in the kitchen, I was going to want seconds. I polished off my first plate in five minutes flat. She was stunned silent but she smiled. “I think I like watching you eat,” she beamed.
Then you should let me between your thighs.
“Lucky for you because I’m going back for more.”
“Can you grab another bottle of wine?” She called from the dining room. I found the other bottle on the counter and grabbed it right after I piled my plate high with more risotto.
Solana actually sat there and watched me eat another plate of food after she’d finished hers. The longer she watched me, the more I felt the heat in the room rise. I had to move around to shift the energy because it was getting too thick for me to ignore and I was going to say or do something.
There was a reason I’d stopped coming to her house. I should have remembered that. The lure of being alone with Solana was too strong though. “I’m going to clean these dishes up,” I said, grabbing our plates. The wine pumping through my veins dulled the usual guard I had to keep in place around Solo. I didn’t have it up because I didn’t want her getting close. I had it up so that I wouldn’t get too close to her because I knew I couldn’t have her the way I wanted to. The way every cell in my body said I should.
“I’ll help,” she said.
“Nah, I got it.” My tone was a little harsher than I meant for it to be and I saw the way it hurt her. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. I sighed heavily and took the dishes in the kitchen.
“Did I do something to you, Ezra?” Solana’s soft voice came from behind me and I swore it sounded like she had tears clinging to her words. I turned around to face her, my heart squeezed when I saw the sad and confused look in her eyes.
She was my sunflower. She was too beautiful to look like that because of me.
“No.” I looked up at the ceiling and rubbed my forehead. “Thank you for dinner, Solana. I gotta go home though.” Even though things were tense between us, I leaned down and placed a kiss on her smooth forehead.
“Why are you leaving? I had movies and…I thought we could hang out.” She chewed on her bottom lip while she stared at me. I didn’t know how to tell her that being around her was becoming harder and harder. I couldn’t keep being her friend. She made me f
eel too many things.
I’d never been in love before but it had to feel like this. It had to be the feeling of sunlight in my veins and the prickle of electricity when I touched her. It had to be the way she smelled like sweet flowers even in my dreams. How the fuck was I supposed to be alone with her day after day without falling for her? Her eyes were made from pools of brandy constructed just to sink my heart to the bottom.
The only way I’d survived weeks around her was because we were at work. Being in her home while she cooked for me and stared at me with those exotic eyes was pushing my limits too far.
“I can’t,” I told her, shaking my head. I hated the forced smile on her face. She walked over to the front door and opened it for me.
“I get it,” she nodded. “Friends, right?” My steps were heavy and slow as I walked to the door. I looked down at Solana and saw a glimmer of tears in her eyes. “It really should be that way,” she swallowed.
“It should,” I agreed. I touched her chin and tipped her head back. I couldn’t find anything else to say to her but my feet wouldn’t move.
“Goodnight, Ezra.” My name was a whisper on her lips. I couldn’t stare at her anymore without kissing her. It physically hurt me to resist at that point. I dipped my head low and swept my lips over hers before pressing our mouths together. I gripped her jaw, holding her in place so she knew everything I did was deliberate.
With my free hand, I reached over and pushed the door shut.
I slipped my tongue in her mouth and tasted red wine. Her hand slid along my throat before she wrapped her arms around me, locking her hands behind my neck. I lifted her up without any effort and pinned her tiny frame to the wall.
“Ezra…we’re friends.”
“I know,” I said nipping at her full bottom lip.
“Friends don’t do this.”
“Fuck being friends, Solana.” I kissed her neck and she whined at the sensation between my teeth and my lips. I pressed my weight against her and she trembled. “Tell me to leave right now and I won’t bother you again.” I kissed along her jawline until I reached her earlobe.
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