“I didn’t think it up, he did.”
“Really? Curt? That doesn’t sound like him at all.”
And she was right. Curt was a straight-ahead guy’s guy. A good and patient leader, but not one for thinking outside of the box. He was in charge because he was the kind of guy that people flocked to and stuck with. She’d only ever achieved that by being a better pilot than everyone around her. When Curt had met Stacy, a pilot better than he was, he hadn’t competed with her—he’d married her.
The second half of the Firebirds entered the airfield’s pattern and swooped down the runway before carving a final turn into the section of the airfield allocated for their use. Even though the fire was beaten, the upper atmosphere was still thick with dust and smoke. They were definitely getting “red at night.” It wasn’t even sunset and the sky was bloody.
She and Stacy stood together and watched them land and shut down. No need to glance at the tail number to see who flew which of the otherwise identical birds.
Amos rushed to be first on the ground. The instant he was down, he and his best pal Drew would be off to the motel to clean up. The rest of the crew would catch up with them at the pub where they’d be chatting up women with easy success.
Curt did his usual straightforward: fly here, land there.
Jasper flew the way he ran—dead smooth, stretching out those long legs of his to eat up the distance. Everything about him integrated into a single motion.
Smooth even as he climbed out of the cockpit and pulled on his ridiculous trademark cowboy hat—as if a man who stood six-foot-three had a height inferiority complex.
“You know that your family left Texas when you were four.”
“Six.” It had become their standard greeting—never anything more. This time was no exception.
His family had moved in next door. Six-year-old Curt had been instantly enamored of Jasper’s cool hat. He’d been at that cowboys-are-cool age.
At ten, Jana had been too self-conscious and sophisticated a girl to deign to notice him beyond trying to be nice to their new neighbor—mostly because it got her little brother out of her hair.
Jasper had lived in the thing then just as he did now. He wore it every day, even when they went running. No amount of razzing in school had deterred him. Jana had learned a lot from watching a much younger Jasper stand by the firm conviction of his beliefs. He’d made her wonder what she believed in.
And now? Without the Army, without her hand, the only thing she believed in was the Firebirds. It was enough to keep her sane, marginally. One day at a time, Jana. Her mantra ever since she’d woken up without her hand.
Jasper continued to loom above her.
Curt and Stacy were busy doing their newlywed greeting thing.
She wished they’d wait until they were back in their room—or another state. It was petty of her, but all their antics did was make her that much more uncomfortable two steps from the silent Jasper.
“I’ll just get your data,” she stepped around Jasper who wasn’t moving.
He nodded his hat, his dark eyes almost invisible beneath the brim.
She’d only made it two more steps past him when Stacy called out.
“Hey, Jana. Curt says that the Firebirds was actually Jasper’s idea.”
Curt nodded as Jana’s gaze swept over him on her way to face Jasper.
Jasper remained frozen in place with his back to her for several seconds. Then he turned slowly to face her.
“But he never said a word. Not in all that planning.” She’d given up addressing him directly as he never spoke to her—directly or indirectly.
“No,” Curt stepped over. “He had it all hashed out when he ran it by me over beers one night. You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you since forever, Jasper, what the hell do you have against my sister?”
Jasper didn’t turn to Curt, but continued to look right at her.
She wanted to fool with her hair, or click her hooks, or something, but instead remained in a frozen stillness waiting for the answer. It didn’t feel like hate, but he certainly never spoke to her.
“It goes back since I can remember,” Curt never did know when to keep his mouth shut. “Did she piss on your cowboy hat the day you moved in or something?”
“Nope,” Jasper answered Curt without looking away from her.
“Then what? I mean—” Curt jolted like he’d been pinched. “What?” he turned on Stacy. So Stacy had pinched him.
Go, girl!
She just rolled her eyes at him. “Come along, dear.” And she towed a bewildered Curt away, leaving her alone with Jasper.
Something in his look kept Jana’s voice stuck in her throat.
The fuel truck’s diesel engine thudded by them as the tanker moved in to refuel the helos. The on-board pump ground to life as the service tech started down the line pumping out Jet A gas. The sharp bite of kerosene accented the wood smoke still hovering in the air.
“I thought up the Firebirds for you after your parents died,” Jasper finally spoke to her. It felt as if it was the first time in years. His voice was low and soft. Impossible to disbelieve. Impossible to ignore. The loss of her parents had been a gut shot to them all. It had sent her spiraling down all over again.
“For me?” She managed.
He nodded his head, which was much more about his hat.
“Like the running after the Army,” which had gotten her out of the darkest place she’d ever been.
Again the nod.
“Your idea was that poor Jana needed therapy, so you provided it?” Her voice was rising now.
Enough that the fuel truck driver was looking her direction.
“No. I—”
“Poor crippled Jana needs some asshole to take care of her because she can’t take care of herself anymore!” Rather than going louder, she felt her voice go low and nasty…and she couldn’t stop it. “Well, I don’t need anybody. And I sure don’t need you, Jasper Jones.”
He remained unmoving throughout her tirade.
The words were out there and she could never take them back.
To hell with the last three helos’ data.
To hell with the money that data represented.
To hell with her brother and his ever-so-happy life.
“To hell with you, Jasper Jones.”
If she hadn’t cried when she lost her hand, she sure as hell wasn’t going to cry now.
Instead she turned away.
Helo in front of her.
Get in! Fly away! Now!
She placed a foot on the small steel pad on one of the skid’s legs. Got her other foot up and into the cockpit.
That’s when six years of habit flying the Black Hawks betrayed her.
She reached out with her right hand to grab the handhold and pull her upper body in.
Except she no longer had a right hand.
4
Jasper watched her go. The words he’d feared since the day he’d first spotted the sun-blonde girl next door had finally happened. The only door he really cared about other than Curt’s friendship had just been slammed in his face.
He hung his head so that his hat blocked out any view of Jana walking away from him. If only he could have—
A startled cry had him looking up again quickly. Jana had climbed halfway into the helicopter.
Her right arm flailed as she fell backward. He looked up in time to see her try to save herself by grabbing the edge of the doorframe with her good hand, but momentum ripped her fingers free.
He took one step. Two…
But he was too late, Jana went down hard. Her metal hooks made a sharp grinding as they skidding across the pavement when she tried to stave off the fall. Her head hit with a sickening thud. She groaned once and, going limp, lay still.
“Shit!” Jasper dropped to his knees beside her, but didn’t know what to do. “Curt! Anyone!” He screamed the last, but couldn’t look up.
He reached for her twice, but couldn’t complete
the gesture. Then he remembered his basic CPR training.
No sign of blood spreading over the pavement. Check.
Breathing? He noted the rise and fall of her chest through the thin t-shirt she wore. Definitely breathing. Check. Now look the hell away, man!
He reached for her wrist…but it was made of plastic. Her flesh arm was twisted behind her back, though the angle didn’t look weird or anything.
Jasper rested his hand on the curve over her throat. Not how he’d pictured their first ever touch. Jana’s skin was incredibly smooth and soft. He felt the first beat of her pulse when someone suddenly knelt on Jana’s other side.
Then a fist plowed into Jasper’s jaw.
It was a good hit and sent him flying backward.
“What the hell did you do to her?” Curt screamed at him. “Why have you always hated her so much?”
He opened his mouth, but his jaw hurt like hell.
“You’re an idiot, Curt,” Stacy spoke up for him. “He doesn’t hate Jana. He loves her.”
He thought only he knew. He’d guarded the secret for so long that he couldn’t answer now that it was out in the world. Now he could only close his eyes and bow his head.
He did love Jana. And didn’t that just totally suck for him.
5
Jana woke slowly with her head nestled cozily in someone’s lap. It was warm there. Safe.
The roar of a diesel engine was distant. Muted.
A cool hand rested for a moment on her forehead. She didn’t remember taking a lover to bed last night. She hadn’t taken one in a long, long time that she could recall.
There was a hard jostle, enough to make her head explode with pain. She might not see stars, but she felt as if she’d been hit by a nebula, maybe an entire galaxy.
“Shh, Jana. We’re almost there.”
She risked opening one eye and squinted up at Stacy’s breasts. A slight shift of focus and she saw her face looking down worriedly.
“Where…” was all she managed in a dry croak.
“Back of one of our pickup trucks. Almost to the hospital.”
“You’re not driving,” Jana could hear the racing engine. Stacy was notorious as the only member on the team who always drove exactly on the speed limit.
“Maggie is. We wanted to get you there this century,” Stacy half smiled and then smoothed her hand over Jana’s forehead again.
“Wha—”
Maggie must have jumped a curb the size of an aircraft hangar—the jumbo jet size. Her world exploded in a flash of white pain.
“Easy, Maggie,” Stacy called out loudly enough to make Jana cringe.
She tried to cover her ears. One side worked. On the other side all she did was ram her hooks into Stacy’s side.
“Hey!” Stacy grunted out.
“Sorry. Pothole,” Maggie called from the front. “They grow them big around here.”
“What hap—” Jana tried again but could only squeeze her eyes tight as they slewed around a corner like a banking Sikorsky Black Hawk under heavy fire.
“Missed that one,” Maggie called out happily.
“We’re not sure,” Stacy was looking down at her steadily, as if the truck wasn’t on an insane roller coaster ride.
“You were talking to Jasper when I turned my back. Next thing I know you’re flat on the ground and Jasper is kneeling over you freaking out and crying for help. He said you ran into a helicopter.”
She’d run into something. Hard. She’d been too…something to see what it was. All Jana remembered was the helpless flail as both her hand and her hooks failed her. She’d—they slammed over another bump.
“That one was a curb. Sorry,” Maggie spoke up.
Jana remembered losing her balance, but that was the last thing. “Must have fallen and knocked myself out.”
“By the size of the lump on your head, we were thinking that you ran at the helo headfirst with all your might.”
“Lump?” She reached for it.
“Hey! Hey! Cut that out,” there was a pressure on her arm. Stacy was fending off Jana’s right arm and hooks.
“Sorry,” she tried again with the left and couldn’t stop the hiss of pain when she found the bump. “Oh my god. That’s huge!”
“Hence the race to the hospital.”
“And…we’re here!” Maggie slammed on the big truck’s brakes hard enough to chirp the tires and almost enough to tumble Jana out of Stacy’s lap and onto the backseat’s floor.
Jana tried to sit up, but Stacy used that cool hand on her forehead to keep her in place.
“Don’t you dare. Now lie still. You sit up and puke all over this truck, we’re going to leave it for you to clean up. You puke on me and you might have to find yourself a new sister-in-law.”
“Okay, Stacy.”
And she lay there, oddly at peace with her head in Stacy’s lap. Being taken care of. It wasn’t something she was used to, but Stacy’s inner kindness made it easy to accept.
Taken care of.
She’d been protesting about just that to someone recently.
Telling someone…no, yelling at someone that she didn’t need that. This. But she liked this.
The door next to Stacy opened and a pair of blue-gloved hands held either side of her head as Stacy slid out. Then they placed a board beneath her before they eased her out the door and onto a rolling gurney.
“All I did was bump my head.” Then her head hit the soft pillow and she yelped. One side might be soft, but someone must have hidden a brick under the other side.
“Easy,” the blue-gloved doctor said. “I don’t want to turn your head until we’ve checked out there are no neck injuries.”
Jana was good with that. More than once she’d seen a helo pilot coming off a crash landing with a broken back. Please don’t let her have that now. Please not that too.
So she lay on the gurney keeping her thoughts to herself as they slid a strap over her forehead and another across her shoulders. She missed Stacy’s cool hand.
That’s when she remembered why she’d run into the helicopter.
She’d been yelling at…Jasper.
Jana closed her eyes and groaned.
“How badly does it hurt?” Stacy asked as she crushed Jana’s one hand in both of hers.
It hurt bad. The things she’d said to Jasper…
Why couldn’t she have kept those thoughts to herself?
6
Nuh-uh. I know that look.”
“What look?” Jasper couldn’t turn to face Curt. All he could see was the cloud of dust Maggie had left as she’d raced away toward the hospital.
“That I’m-going-to-leave-and-never-come-back look. I saw Palo try that on Maggie. I get it now.”
Palo spoke up from his other side, “Don’t do it, bro. The payoff ain’t there. I’m telling you.”
Jasper watched the dust that refused to settle in the baking twilit air. Everything was smudged and dirty. His hands from working over a fire all day. The sky. All of his dreams.
“I’m not gonna let you,” Curt was still on old news.
Jasper turned to Palo. “Where is the payoff then?”
“Hitting the homerun,” Curt could be a peacock strutting his shit. Now he and Palo both ignored him.
Jasper waited while Palo chewed on his answer. Curt finally caught on and kept his yap shut until Palo was ready to speak.
“Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer,” he finally offered.
“It was a mighty thorough, in-my-face ‘no’ to be ignoring.”
“Then man up!” Curt’s answer to almost everything, but Palo nodded his agreement. Curt and Stacy had been such an obvious fit from the first moment, that it seemed there’d been no other possibility. Palo’d had his work cut out for him to win Maggie’s heart, yet he’d pulled it off. Maybe Jasper should trust him.
He pulled out his keys and headed for his Camaro.
“Oh no you don’t!” Curt grabbed his arm.
Jasper’s jaw
still hurt like hell and he could feel the pressure of the swelling around his eye. He considered returning the favor, but couldn’t think of any reason to do so. Curt had just been defending Jana, something Jasper had been trying to do his entire life.
Jasper yanked his arm free. “I’m going to the hospital to check on her. That’s all.”
“Then I’m coming with you.”
“Fine.”
“Fine?” Curt clearly didn’t believe him. Not that Jasper cared. As long as Curt didn’t remember what Stacy had said about Jasper’s true feelings. How the hell had she known anyway?
“Fine. Get in the car,” and Jasper climbed into his black-and-flame painted Camaro. He looked back at Palo, “You coming?”
Palo shook his head. “Maggie would kill me if I left with her helos unsecured.”
Jasper nodded. The man knew his woman. Then he and Curt rolled out the front gate and headed for the hospital which lay just four miles away through town.
Curt let the first three-point-eight go by in silence, then asked, “Since when have you loved Jana?”
Jasper focused on the last two-tenths as he rolled into the hospital parking lot and found a spot close by the Firebirds’ big, black Denali pickup. Jasper closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat, keeping his hands on the wheel.
“Well?”
He sighed, but finally answered. “Since the first moment I saw her.”
“You were six.”
“So were you.”
“Sis was ten.”
“She was.”
Curt started to laugh.
Jasper glared over at him.
“Got a thing for older women, do you?”
Jasper debated if it was enough reason to hit his best friend—at least a knuckle punch on the nerve center in his upper arm. But he couldn’t find the motivation.
“Only since I was six,” he got out of the car and went to find Jana.
7
When They Just Know Page 2