by Lynn Howard
Leaning forward, he pressed another of those sweet kisses to her lips before stepping back and closing her door. She touched her fingertips to her lips as he rounded the hood. With each kiss, she found herself wanting more from him, wanting more of him. The thought of feeling his skin against hers wasn’t revolting or scary. She wanted it. She wanted him. Yet, he hadn’t moved any further than her lips.
Was he still waiting on her to make the move? What would he think of her if she just walked into the living room wearing nothing but her new boots?
She giggled at her mental image right as Colton climbed into his seat. He frowned in question, but she shook her head. She didn’t want him to know the silly and somewhat naughty thoughts in her head. Besides, what if she found her courage and actually played out that little scenario? She didn’t want to ruin the surprise.
“Which one are you gonna wear?” he asked after a few minutes on the road.
“What?”
“Big River. The cookout. Which one you gonna show off first?”
“Oh.” Right. They were going to hang out with his friends. It wouldn’t be all that bad to see the women from Hope Pride, but they didn’t usually come down the hill. Some of them were even more messed up in the head than Shawnee. “I’m not sure. Did you have a favorite?”
“Did you?” he asked, glancing at her with a raised brow.
“Yes. Which was yours?”
“Tell me yours first,” he countered.
“If I tell you mine, you’ll just agree,” she said. Already, she knew how Colton’s mind worked.
“I can say the same about you.” He took her hand and stretched it to kiss her knuckles. “Okay. On the count of three, we say the color of our favorite.” He glanced at her again.
“One,” she said.
“Two,” he said. “Three. Purple.”
“Purple,” she said the same time he did. “Really?”
“Ha! It’s true. Sick minds think alike.”
“I think the saying is great minds think alike, weirdo.”
“Whoa!” His grin grew wider. “Did you just tease me? Naughty girl.”
Shawnee threw her head back and laughed loud. And then she slapped a hand over her mouth. When Colton’s laugh stayed loud, she removed her hand and let the sound go. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d belly laughed. It felt amazing.
They were about ten minutes from home when they rolled to a stop light. Shawnee glanced to her right, did a double take, and then her stomach dropped. Her freaking parents were in the car right next to her, glaring and shaking their heads. She wasn’t even laughing anymore. How long had they been following her?
Oh no. Had they seen her in public? Seen her wearing the Converse shoes, playing with the dogs? Had they seen her covered in dog hair?
And just like that, her wonderful day crashed. All those fluttery feelings in her belly died and were replaced by the sickening burn of adrenaline.
“What’s wrong?” Colton asked.
Shawnee couldn’t peel her eyes from her parents’ disapproving look. “That’s my parents,” she muttered.
The light turned green and her dad drove away without a wave. Just turned his head forward and left her staring after him.
“Shawnee?”
“Light’s green,” she muttered, and folded her hands in her lap. What had she been thinking? She could always tell them she was just doing as Colton asked. That was her job, right? To do as he asked, as he demanded?
But it was a lie. She’d done it because it felt good. She’d never been any good at lying.
The truck roared forward and Shawnee watched the houses turn to fields and trees until he pulled his truck to a stop in front of his house.
His house. Not theirs. She’d been naïve to believe she could be anything but a responsibility to anyone.
“Shawnee, talk to me,” Colton said, turning off the truck and turning to look at her.
She kept her gaze straight forward. “I’ll wear whatever outfit you want me to this weekend.” She felt numb. No. That was a lie. She hurt. Her chest hurt. Her heart hurt. She’d let herself believe that what she was building with Colton was real.
It was all a fucking lie.
She had a job to do. And she’d had to choose between Colton and being sold off to another stranger. She’d never regret choosing Colton, but her parents would never let her forget her place in the world.
She was back to hating herself all over again.
****
Colton felt the moment Shawnee shut back down. She’d been so fun when they were out shopping. And he’d heard her full out laugh just minutes ago. Now? Now she looked like she’d just seen a ghost.
“I want you to wear whatever the hell you want to wear.”
“Are we going inside?” she asked.
“What are you doing?”
“Whatever you tell me to do,” she answered, her sultry, sweet voice almost monotone.
“Okay. Fine. I want you to look at me. Tell me what just happened?”
Shawnee turned, but she looked stiff. “My parents. They were in the car beside us at the stop light.”
“So?”
“Do you know why I agreed to mate with you?”
He shrugged and shook his head. He just figured she was as desperate as him to have someone in her life, someone to build a family with. And he’d been content being friends for the rest of their life. But the more he’d gotten to know her over the past few days, the more time he’d spent with her, the more he’d learned about why she behaved in the way she did. The more he cared about her.
“Because if I didn’t choose soon, I was going to be sold off again. My parents were going to sell me to a stranger to mate. To breed.” She said the word with so much disgust and hate, Colton felt it like a gut punch.
“That’s illegal now,” he said, and was having a hard time holding onto his skin. Why was his bear suddenly so restless?
“It’s illegal if the woman isn’t willing. I was brought into this world and raised for one reason, Colton. That’s to be a mother and to serve my mate.” She blinked rapidly. She could shut down all she wanted and try to pretend she didn’t hate the way things were, but the tears in her eyes showed all her cards. “I wanted to have sex with you tonight,” she blurted out.
Colton couldn’t do anything but stare at her with wide eyes and a wide open mouth. He didn’t know what to say to that little revelation. He just let her speak.
“I wanted you to care about me. I wanted someone to love me. I wanted you to love me. But they…” She turned and glanced behind her through the rear window as if she could see her parents. “Can we go inside now?”
Sliding from his seat, Colton rounded the hood, pulled her door open, and stepped into her space before she could climb out.
She turned and dropped her eyes to her feet again. Dammit. She’d made so much progress today and all it took to knock her back down was seeing her evil fuck parents. He’d been brought up to always seek the respect and acceptance of his mate’s family. But he’d rather punch her dad square in the nuts than shake his hand.
“Look at me,” he said, keeping his voice firm and steady. When she raised only her eyes, Colton cupped her chin in his hand to keep her from turning away. “I do care about you. A lot. You let me see the real you, the beautiful woman in there,” he said, pointing to her chest. “Your parents? They’re fucked up. Sorry, but they are. That shit isn’t normal. I’d kill a son of a bitch before I let them treat my daughter the way you’ve been treated. You said you’d do whatever I wanted? Here’s what I want – I want that sassy, fun woman I hung out with all day to climb out of this truck and go inside with me. I want her to put on whatever the fuck she wants, even if it’s another of my t-shirts, and curl up on the couch. We’re going to hang out, watch some more TV, then I’m going to make you dinner.”
A single tear streaked down her cheek. Colton leaned forward and kissed it away. A sob hitched in her chest and he pulled her
down and held her tight, cupping the back of her head in one hand while stroking her back in circles.
Her hands clutched the sides of his shirt. “You got a really messed up mate. I’m sorry I’m not better.”
“You’re exactly what I want.”
Holy shit. That wasn’t just to make her feel better. He meant it. He wanted her just the way she was, scars and all. Not true. He wanted her to continue to grow, continue to learn who she really was, continue to bust his balls the way she’d done in the truck.
Colton wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, but the sun began to move across the sky. “Let’s get inside and get you into some comfy clothes.”
Next shopping trip, he was going to get her some sweats and t-shirts and other things she could lay around the house or even sleep wearing.
Her mascara had smudged and he noticed some of it on his shirt. But he just wiped under her eyes for her, scooped her into his arms, and carried her inside. “I should’ve done this the first day,” he said as he kicked the door shut.
Down the hall, he finally set her on her feet in the bedroom. “Get comfortable. I’ll bring everything in and start a movie. What are you in the mood for?”
“Nothing scary tonight. I had too many nightmares.”
“Want another Indiana Jones movie?”
“There are more?”
“Oh, my dear, sweet, naïve mate. You’re in for a treat.”
He pulled the door closed behind him, retrieved her bags and set them outside the bedroom door, then made some popcorn and carried junk food to the coffee table. By the time he was putting the movie in the player, Shawnee returned to the living room wearing another of his t-shirts.
Dear Lord, let there be shorts under there. Because after her admission about wanting to have sex with him tonight, and after her asshole parents made her feel so bad about herself, he wasn’t sure he’d survive having her lower half so close to him without getting killer blue balls.
Shawnee sat on the opposite side of the couch and did like she’d done last night. She sat proper with her feet on the floor and her hands folded in her lap. Colton turned and cocked a brow at her. With a shrug and a self-deprecating smile, she tucked her feet under her and leaned against the arm rest.
“Good girl,” he said before lifting the remote.
Just like with Raiders of the Lost Ark, Shawnee was riveted to Temple of Doom. Honestly, though, he missed her hiding her face against his arm. He missed her clinging to him during the scary parts of the movies.
But she was relaxing. That was all he wanted for her tonight. He wanted to remind her that this was her home. This was her life. She could and should live it however she pleased. And her parents could kiss his ass if they ever tried to tell her any different.
Chapter Five
Colton had slept in the spare bedroom the last two nights. She’d missed him, but was somewhat thankful for the space. Shawnee couldn’t believe she’d blurted out about wanting to make love. What had she been thinking?
She hadn’t. Seeing her parents had screwed with her head. Even days later, she was still having a hard time returning to that feeling with Colton she’d had while they’d been shopping.
Now, she was staring at her reflection as she got ready to head back to Big River territory. Colton was a ball of excitement. He hadn’t hung out with them for over a week, which, apparently to him, was a big deal.
Why had she chosen this outfit? She looked slovenly. No. You look comfortable. That was one of the words Colton drilled into her the most. Happy and comfortable. The purple tank top was cut a little low, but not too revealing. Although, with her boobs, it was hard not to have cleavage. The shorts were made of denim and looked like they’d been ripped and worn in. It was kind of silly to her to pay for something that looked like it had been worn for years. But she couldn’t pass them up when she’d caught the slight glow in Colton’s eyes when she’d turned to look at herself in the mirror and he’d gotten a full shot of her round butt.
She wanted her mate happy. That was her job. Yet it was so much more than that. His happiness made her happy.
“You ready, mate?” he asked, leaning in the doorway. “You look amazing.”
“You say that about everything I wear.”
“And it’s true no matter what you’re wearing. But that? Those shorts?” He leaned further to the side so he could look at her butt. “Woman, you are incredible.”
She felt heat rush her cheeks, but she didn’t duck her gaze. She kept her chin high, turned in a slow circle, and let her mate check her out. When she was facing him again, the teasing glint in his eyes was gone. All that remained now was a bright amber glow as his gaze slowly raked her body from head to toe.
“I, uh…” She didn’t know what to say. All she knew was the way he looked at her made her legs feel like jelly. She wanted him so badly, wanted to make love to him, but she didn’t know how to tell him, how to let him know what she needed. She’d been raised to wait for the man to take what was his.
Colton closed the space between them in slow steps. His hand lifted and his fingers trailed down her cheek, her neck, down her shoulder, her arm, and then to her hip. His grip tightened and he pulled her close.
One hand cupped the back of her head and he bent forward, pressing his lips to hers. It was a bruising kiss, but he didn’t deepen it, didn’t tease her lips with his tongue. When he pulled back, they were both panting.
“Tonight, after we’ve spent the day with our friends, I’m going to bring you home, peel those clothes from your body, and worship you the way you should be worshipped. Is that okay?”
Whewww. His voice was so deep and growly and sexy. It sent little shivers down her arms and legs and made the muscles in her belly tremble.
“Yes,” she said, keeping her head lifted and hoping for another kiss. She knew they had plans, but she’d much rather start his plans now instead of tonight. For the rest of the day, she’d be obsessing over what was to come later. For the rest of the day, she’d wish they were alone.
Colton stepped back slowly, his eyes continuing their path over her body. When his glowing amber eyes met hers, a sexy, crooked smile stretched across his face. “I’m the luckiest bastard alive.”
He turned and left her standing there on shaky legs. Turning to glance at herself in the mirror, for the first time in her life she liked the person looking back. This woman’s eyes weren’t haunted. They were bright and full of life. Her freckles were dark since she’d decided against any makeup, simply to please Colton. Her lips were slightly swollen and pink from Colton’s kiss, and her cheeks were colored from the rush of endorphins he’d just given her.
And just like that, she found that joy he’d given her days ago. No. She hadn’t found it. Colton had brought it to her and laid it at her feet. If he’d done this much for her in less than a week, she could only imagine what a lifetime with someone like Colton would feel like.
He was waiting in the living room, spread out on the couch as if he were getting ready to watch a movie. Shawnee lowered beside him and put her new Converse shoes on and held them out, shaking her feet for emphasis when Colton leaned forward and whistled low.
“I sure do like your new look,” he said with a sexy, slow wink. He was constantly flirting with her, even when she tried to push him away. He was such a good guy.
“I do, too,” she said, returning his wink.
“You two ready yet?” Carter yelled from the front yard.
Colton stood and pulled Shawnee to her feet, grabbing his black Stetson from the coffee table before heading outside. Carter and Luke were standing near Colton’s truck. Luke still didn’t talk to Shawnee much, but he didn’t treat her poorly, either. He just always looked…sad. Was that how she’d looked when she’d come to Blackwater? Had she looked sad? Had she looked as miserable as she’d felt?
She smiled as Colton helped her into the front seat. She could easily climb up there herself, but she’d grown to enjoy his hands on her
hips, and the way he lingered near for a quick peck to her lips. Luke and Carter grumbled as they squeezed into the back, their knees almost to their chests as they crammed into their seats.
“You two could always drive your trucks,” Colton said when Carter complained again.
Shawnee glanced at her reflection in the side mirror. She no longer looked miserable. Probably because she wasn’t. She still had a long, hard road ahead of her to get her mother’s voice out of her head, but with Colton by her side, with Colton leading her into the light, she knew she’d come out the other side with a beaming smile and a good life.
The trip to Big River took about ten minutes. Everyone was outside, sitting in lawn chairs around a fire pit while Reed manned the grill. Smoke billowed when he lifted the lid to check the meat, and the smell wafted over to Shawnee as Colton lowered her to the ground. She hadn’t realized she was hungry until she smelled the food cooking.
“We didn’t bring anything,” Shawnee said.
“We’ve got it all,” Nova said. “Come on over here, Fancy Pants. I need to check out that shirt.”
Fancy Pants. She hated that name. Nova had taken to calling her that when Shawnee was in Tammen Pride. Because of her clothes. And her hair. And her makeup. She wasn’t wearing any of that, so why did Nova still find the need to ridicule her?
Enemy. She’ll take our mate, her lion growled in her head. Shawnee started slightly; her animal had been almost silent since she’d come to Colton’s home. She’d just tucked herself away in the back of Shawnee’s mind and ignored everything going on. In the past, it was for the best. Shawnee had had to beat her animal into submission the same way her parents had done her growing up. She couldn’t have her lioness coming out to defend her when her mate took what he wanted, even if he was aggressive or mean.
Remorse for the way she’d treated her animal stabbed Shawnee in the heart. She’d broken her animal. They were both broken now.
Shawnee nodded as others welcomed her. She felt herself slinking back into her skin, going right back to her training. These were her mate’s friends. She had to act a certain way, represent him properly. Why had she worn this outfit? They were all staring at her with different looks, probably wondering what the hell she’d been thinking when she bought it.