by Lynn Howard
“I’m proud of you,” he whispered in the dark.
With her eyes closed, her lips slowly pulled into a smile. “I’m proud of me, too,” she mumbled. And then her breathing became slow and steady as she fell asleep.
Colton reached forward and pushed a curl off her forehead and stared at his mate. He’d just been looking for a companion. And he’d found his soul mate.
“Goodnight, mate. I love you,” he whispered barely above a breath.
In her sleep, Shawnee’s lips twitched as if she was smiling. And then, as Colton closed his eyes to get some rest himself, a soft purr filled the silence of the room.
Chapter Nine
“Just…keep an eye on her. And let me know if her asshole brothers show up again,” Colton told Noah.
Did he think Shawnee couldn’t hear him? He wasn’t exactly whispering. She stood in front of the window as her mate discussed her safety with her freaking boss. She should have been angry. She should have stormed out there and demanded he stop talking about her as if she were a child.
But when Colton turned around, pushing his hand roughly through his hair before putting his black Stetson on, all her anger floated away. He looked…tired. Or worried. Or something. There were circles under his eyes as if he’d barely slept last night, and there were worry lines that hadn’t been there yesterday.
Colton glanced up at the window and then did a double take. He’d already told her goodbye and to have a good day before peppering her cheeks with kisses. Yet, she needed to hug him one more time. She needed to reassure both him and herself that everything was fine. Even if her brothers did show up again, there was nothing they could do to her, other than run their mouth. While she might not be as savvy with the comebacks as the women from Big River, she was learning. Hell. She’d told that guy off yesterday who’d made a comment about her weight.
“Hey,” she said, stepping through the door to meet him as he trudged up the stairs like he was carrying a ton of bricks on his shoulders.
“You okay?” he asked, his eyes roaming her face.
“I was going to ask you the same thing.” She wrapped her arms around her middle, tilted her head and narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on? Why do you look like you haven’t slept? Why did you tell Noah to watch out for me?”
Colton glanced over his shoulder at Noah, took off his hat, and ran his fingers through his hair in an agitated motion.
“Colton,” she said when it looked like he’d neither look at her nor answer. “What? What happened?”
“Nothing. Yet. I just have a sick feeling.”
“About what?”
“Why were your brothers there?” he said with a shrug. “I assume you didn’t tell anyone you got a job.”
“No. No one. I mean, I mentioned to Tonya and Jeremy that I might, but no one other than Blackwater and Big River knows I got hired on at Moe’s.”
Colton nodded slowly; his lips pulled into his mouth as he seemed to run everything through his head. “I mean, I guess it could’ve been a mere coincidence. But…”
“But now they know where to find me. I don’t understand. I’m doing exactly what I was supposed to do. I’m mated now.”
“And you’re rebelling against everything you were taught to believe,” he said, his dark brows pulled low. “I don’t know. I’m probably just being paranoid.”
He cared for her. He cared about her safety and well-being. He hated the fact he couldn’t go to work with her to protect her all day. She knew all of that. And instead of getting her hackles up or worrying that Colton didn’t think she was strong, it just softened her heart even more toward him.
“I’ll be fine. Noah will be there. And the Big River guys said they were coming by for lunch. If they show up again, I’ll text you.” She held up her hand when he opened his mouth to say something. “That doesn’t mean you need to rush in there and start punching people. I’ll be safe there. You know that. And I have my lioness if things get out of control.”
“Speaking of,” he said, his eyes mimicking hers and narrowing. “Why haven’t I seen you Shift yet? I smelled your fur last night. Is your animal submissive?”
Like a punch in the gut. That was what that question felt like. “She didn’t used to be. She used to be a little…” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Wild. But when she’d try to come out to protect me when I was being beaten, I had to beat her back to keep things from getting worse. I think I made her sick.” She’d made her fierce inner animal hide in the recesses of her mind for the last year. She’d only Shifted once in the last five years and that was only because Rhett had forced the Shift on the entire Pride when he’d gone after Big River to reclaim Callie.
“We’ll get her strong again. How about tonight, if you’re not too tired, we Shift as a Clan for the first time. We can wander the woods and you can get to know your new territory.”
That sounded like fun. And terrifying. What if she couldn’t coax her lioness out? What if she was more irreparably broken than Shawnee was?
“We’ll try,” she said, not making any promises she couldn’t keep.
That seemed to be enough for Colton. He bent and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, put his hat back on, then jogged down the steps just as Carter and Luke made their way to their trucks. Just like yesterday, Colton drove himself. And she knew it was so he could rush to her if she needed him.
She wished so much that she was more like Nova or Peyton. Even though Peyton had been human when Tristan had met her, her wolf was a strong fighter. From what she’d been told, her wolf was a little psychotic and went after her own Pack a few times before Peyton learned how to control her.
Nova had been strong from the first time she’d Shifted amongst her Pack. Although the story of how she’d even come to Big River was a little nerve wracking. Had Gray not contacted her, had he not offered her refuge, she might’ve been forced into a pairing that she didn’t even understand. And Big River and Blackwater might never have fought for the rights of female Shifters.
Even with the laws changed, Shawnee had still been forced to mate by her parents. They were probably seething over the fact that Shawnee was actually happy with her mate and not pregnant yet. That had always been a sore sport with her parents when she’d been mated the first time. They’d been paired up for months and she’d never conceived. Maybe her uterus was as broken as her heart and mind.
Colton and the others drove off, leaving Shawnee watching after them. She and Noah wouldn’t leave for another two hours. She needed to get showered and ready for work. Her second day of work. Her second day of making her own money.
Speaking of…
Whirling around, Shawnee ran into the house and dug the cash out of her jeans. She’d been so tired last night she hadn’t bothered to count how much she’d made. Noah paid her forty bucks just for being there. But there were wads of varying bills in her hand.
Laying it all flat, she counted and squealed at the total. Holy crap. She’d made two hundred and fifty dollars in one night. How awesome was that? She’d have been just as happy with the forty. Not that she could go on some crazy shopping spree like Colton had taken her on, but it was a start.
She typed out a text to Nova, filling her in on her earnings, then hurried into the bathroom. Her brother’s words rang in her ears as she finished showering and stood staring at her pale, freckled face in the mirror.
Was the reason they were mocking her was because she’d rebelled? It hadn’t been her intention. But being away from Horine, being with Colton and his people, her people, made her feel…different. In a good way. She liked the way it felt when she laughed and played with Colton. She liked how easy it was to be around Nova and the other women without feeling they were a threat. She liked the way she felt about herself when she looked in the mirror now. She no longer saw someone who wasn’t thin enough, wasn’t pretty enough, wasn’t good enough.
For the first time in her life…she was beginning to love herself.
With more ene
rgy than she’d thought she’d have after a long day at work, she applied only eye makeup and lipstick, leaving her freckles for the world to see. She pulled her hair into a bun at the top of her head. She’d left it long and curly yesterday, but it just ended up in her way and made her neck sweat.
Once all that was done, she was almost skipping as she made her way into the bedroom to wear one of her new outfits. She didn’t care what her brothers thought. She didn’t care what her family Pride thought. And she sure as hell didn’t care what her mother thought. Not anymore. Even when her mother’s voice chimed in her head, telling her how inappropriate what she’d planned to wear to work was, she just rolled her eyes at the ghost voice and pulled on a tank top and some shorts. They weren’t quite what Nova called bootie shorts, but they were close to it. She’d made Colton sit and she’d bent over to make sure she didn’t flash any of her plump ass.
That had just resulted in rather passionate love making.
Dressed, makeup on, and hair tamed, she decided on some breakfast before work. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t remember eating anything at all yesterday. She’d been too busy to even notice she’d been hungry.
Shawnee dug through the pantry and the fridge. She seriously did not feel like cooking for herself. Not first thing in the morning. She just grabbed a bagel from the top of the fridge and sat at the table, taking huge bites from it.
You’ll never lose weight if you eat like that.
Yep. Even with over a year away from her mother and her newfound strength, Shawnee still heard her mother’s voice in her head as she ripped off huge pieces of the blueberry bagel and shoved it into her mouth.
Staring down at the half-devoured bagel, she couldn’t help but notice her belly rolls as she sat hunched at the table. She straightened and smoothed the tank top. Why the hell hadn’t she bought looser clothes?
“You know what?” she said out loud.
Ripping off a big piece, she shoved it in her mouth until her cheeks swelled like a damn chipmunk. This was her life. Her mother could think whatever she wanted, but as far as Shawnee was concerned, her mother’s opinion was none of Shawnee’s business. She no longer spoke to her. She didn’t even live within the Pride territory. This was Shawnee’s life and she was growing to love it just the way it was.
Well, maybe not exactly the way it was. Her lioness was still pretty silent in her head.
“We’re going to Shift with our mate tonight,” she said in her head.
Mate.
That was a step. The fact that her lioness recognized what Shawnee had known for a while was huge, but she was still pretty damn quiet. She’d missed the sassy animal inside of her. She hadn’t felt her strength since she was a child, since her mother had beaten the resolve out of Shawnee and Shawnee had beaten the fierceness out of her cat.
Day by day, Shawnee was rebuilding herself, rebuilding her lost strength. And she’d make sure her lioness was rebuilt right along with her.
After an hour, a shrill whistle made its way through the walls of the cabin.
“Let’s go. Time for work,” Noah called out as Shawnee shook the crumbs off her shirt and shorts.
Hurrying through the door, she pulled it shut behind her as she ran down the stairs. “Thanks for letting me ride with you,” she said to Noah. He just grunted and dipped his chin once.
Guess he’s not much of a morning person. Shawnee had always thought she was a night owl. But waking up beside Colton and making love first thing almost every single morning was quickly changing her mind.
The ride to Moe’s was silent. Oh well. Shawnee used it to pump herself up for the day. Yesterday had kicked her ass, but Noah had told her she’d done pretty well for her first day. And she planned to make today even better. Let her brothers show their faces again. She wouldn’t let them get to her. She wouldn’t tremble the way she had last night. She wouldn’t constantly watch over her shoulder to make sure they weren’t sneaking up on her to beat her up for what she was wearing, how she was acting, or any other stupid reason they’d come up with in the past.
Colton had been right; her family was fucked up.
“Do your parents live around here?” Shawnee asked Noah as he pulled his truck into Moe’s parking lot.
“Used to. They passed away a few years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“Don’t be. They were great. They died together. That’s the way they wanted it.”
“They killed themselves?” she asked, confused by his behavior as he spoke of his parents’ death.
“What?” He turned to frown at her before climbing out of the truck. He didn’t do like Colton and help her out of his huge vehicle. Which was fine. It would be more than awkward to have anyone but Colton’s hands on her hips. “No. They died in a car accident. They were on their way home from their fortieth wedding anniversary.”
Wow. Forty years. And the way Noah made it sound, they’d been happy together. They’d sure raised a good man.
“Your dad was Moe?”
“Yep. This was his place. Left it to me in his will. My sister got the house.”
“You have a sister?” she asked as she waited for him to unlock the bar.
“Older. She tormented me as kids. Now, her kids torment her. I love it.” Everything he said was happy, yet he hadn’t cracked a smile. It was like he was still waking up.
He was always a little gruff and blunt, but he sounded monotonous and bored.
Shawnee followed closely as Noah went around, showing her the routine for opening the bar. She grabbed a piece of paper by the register and wrote a list, numbering each line, so she’d remember next time. Maybe someday he’d let her open alone.
“Hey. Do you think some day you could teach me how to make drinks? I mean, besides just grabbing a beer.”
He looked over his shoulder as he counted the money in the drawer then nodded. “Yeah. I can do that.”
Within an hour of Noah and Shawnee getting there, people began to trickle in wanting breakfast or an early drink. And then lunch time hit.
She was hustling from table to table, keeping one eye on the door. Her friends were coming for lunch today.
Her friends. They were her friends. Not just Colton’s. She had this huge, strange group of friends now who considered her family. It had taken a while for Shawnee to believe Colton when he’d told her she had people who had her back. But she finally got it.
“How you liking this place?” a guy she hadn’t met asked. He was a predator Shifter, she could tell by the heavy feeling he emitted, but he didn’t feel like a threat.
“It’s great. What can I get for you?” she asked, pen poised over a notepad. She knew herself well enough to know she’d never remember specific orders of food. Drinks were one thing. That was simple. But when it came to food, there were way too many variations for her to avoid screwing up.
He tilted his head and stared at her. After a few seconds, she pulled her eyes from her pad and checked to see if there was a problem.
“You’re Terry and Andy’s daughter, right?”
No matter how much she’d coached herself beforehand, no matter how strong she’d thought she was, the mere mention of her origins set her heart racing. “Yes,” she squeaked out.
“Damn shame the way they treat their kids,” the older man said. “I’m Carl. I’m Lola’s dad.”
Taking a deep breath, she released it in a rush and almost sagged. “Lola’s dad,” she repeated. Not a threat to Shawnee. Not an enemy. “Nice to meet you.”
“You look like you’re gonna pass out,” a guy closer to her age said from beside Carl. “Need to sit down?”
“I’m fine. Thanks.” She took their order and almost ran to put the order in. She needed a second to collect herself. What the hell, Shawnee? Had her brothers’ appearance screwed with her head so much that she thought every single person was out to get her?
She was a freaking lioness, dammit! Even if her animal was currently in hiding
, she was strong. She just had to keep reminding herself that.
“You good, Shawnee?” Noah asked her as she handed him the order. There was no cook today. She’d had to man the bar a few times.
“Yeah. Fine.”
“You’re pale. They’re not fucking with you, are they?” he asked, a confused frown on his face as he looked over to where Lola’s dad and the other guy sat.
“No. Not at all. That’s Lola’s dad.”
“I know. And the other guy is the new Alpha of Reed’s and Lola’s family Pack,” Noah said as he read over their lunch order.
Shawnee looked back at the two men, who were watching her as she spoke with Noah. He hadn’t acted like an Alpha. Then again, neither did Gray. She’d just thought the two men were friends.
“Are they friends with you guys?”
Noah stopped as he entered the kitchen. “Didn’t used to be. They are now.” He slipped into the back and out of sight, leaving just those words for her.
Didn’t used to be. Did that mean they used to be enemies to the bears and Big River?
Keeping her eyes on the two men, she continued taking and filling orders, circling behind the bar to fill sodas or grab beers. She still didn’t know how to mix drinks, but no one ordered any cocktails. She figured it was still too early for that.
The door opened and familiar scents hit her. Big River had finally made their appearance.
“Hey, kitty,” Reed said with a wide smile as he grabbed a chair at one of the open tables. Tristan, Micah, and Gray followed in behind him, filling up one of the few empty tables.
Shawnee took a second to look around the room. There were so many Shifters crammed in the place. It was amazing they’d been able to live in this small town for so many years without the humans around figuring out they were amongst non-humans.
“Carl. Koda,” Gray said, greeting the two men at the table near his.
None of the Big River guys seemed tense or aggravated by the other men’s presence. No way would Noah or these guys not warn her if they were a threat.